Hey guys! So sorry for the long absence, I've been battling with Summer classes and they have literally taken up every second of free time I've had for the past month! I meant to have this chapter up before Father's Day but it never really panned out =/ One thing I will point out about this chapter is that I really have no reason for everyone who approaches Tony to not recognize him. He seems like he'd be a pretty big celebrity! It helped to write feigned ignorance though so that's my excuse lol. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it!
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Pepper mutters irritably as she snatches the magazine off the rack and flips it open.
Tony nearly bumps into her due to the sudden stop and glances down at the glossy pages of the magazine in her hands. It's filled with the typical who-wore-it-best and celebrity scandals that most tabloids are made up of but Pepper is glaring at a page with a grainy, blurry image of herself, emerging from a gym with a gym bag tossed over one shoulder and a baseball cap obscuring her face. Pepper's expression is one of irritation and incredulity as she glares down at the magazine in her hands.
"Problem, dear?" Tony asks innocently only to get a seriously annoyed girlfriend round on him.
"Yes, there's a problem!" Pepper snaps, pointing at the picture in the magazine. "These reporters are speculating about whether or not I have a baby bump hidden beneath my sweatshirt!"
Tony looks closer at the picture, and sure enough, just below the image is a caption that read: "Could the girlfriend of billionaire Tony Stark be pregnant?" The rest of the column was filled with other candid shots of Pepper coming out of buildings and walking down the street, all while wearing baggier clothes than the usual slim pencil skirts she normally wears. Witnesses were all aflutter, claiming that Pepper was trying to cover up the telltale baby bump and hide her pregnancy from the media. 'Reliable sources' even claimed to known about her secret cravings.
"This is ridiculous!" Pepper rants beside him, reading further through the column. "I'm not having secret pregnancy cravings because I'm not secretly pregnant!"
Tony wants to laugh and tease her about being ashamed and hiding their secret lovechild but he knows how private Pepper is and he knows how equally irked she becomes when that privacy is invaded. "Pepper, it's just a story," he tells her simply as his eyes pass over the pictures again. "These reporters have nothing better to do so they like to make up fictional stories to go along with whatever pictures they can take of the celebrities they're stalking," Tony explains, hoping the casual brush off would alleviate some of her ire. When Pepper's shoulders relax just a fraction, he knows he's on the right track.
"You remember a few months ago when all the entertainment news and tabloids were convinced that Bruce and I were having a secret romantic tryst because someone happened to snap a picture of me standing next to him when he was post-Hulk naked?"
Pepper nods just slightly, allowing him to continue. "And you remember when all those reporters kept sneaking around the Tower trying to catch us in the act so they could add validity to their stories?"
"Yes," Pepper grumbles in a resigned sort of way.
"It's the same kind of thing here," Tony says, plucking the magazine from her hands and glancing over the pictures once more. "These stories sell magazines and create scandal and you know how the media loves scandal." At Pepper's slight smirk, Tony pushed on. "Hell, if I were you, I would be flattered. These magazines only follow around the beautiful people and trust me, sweetheart, you are one of the beautiful people."
Pepper smiles a bit and rolls her eyes, taking the magazine back and putting it back in the rack. "'Beautiful people,' please," Pepper mutters dismissively. "How beautiful can I be? I'm wearing sweatpants in that photo and my hair is in a ponytail and they're wondering if I'm pregnant; that doesn't seem like a combination for 'beautiful people.'"
"Well, trust me babe," Tony says, snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her a bit closer. "If you were pregnant, you would definitely be one mother I'd like to-"
"Tony!" Pepper hisses just as a woman her two children pass by the magazine rack.
"Fine," Tony relents with heaving, overly dramatic sigh. "I won't proclaim my burning and undying love for you in the grocery store. Happy?"
"Ecstatic," Pepper tells him, kissing him on the lips lightly before stepping away from the rack. "Come on, go find Steve and let's get out of here before the press shows up starts asking questions about whether the baby is a boy or a girl."
"Okay, first of all, we would definitely be having a boy. And second, why do I have to go find Steve?" Tony asks, ignoring the slightly petulant tone in his own voice. "Can't we just let him wander around without adult supervision for a few more hours?"
"No," Pepper says with a shake of her head. "You know as well as I do that if Steve is left alone for longer than five minutes he starts doing charity work. Besides, I need to run next door to place an order for your meeting next week and it will much faster if we divide and conquer and then meet back in the middle."
"Pepper-" Tony whines but he's cut off when Pepper speaks again.
"Besides," she says with a conspiratorial little smirk. "The sooner we get home, the sooner you get your surprise."
Tony, being just as bad as a five-year-old at the promise of a reward for doing something, instantly perks up at the suggestion. "A surprise, huh? I kinda like the sound of that. What kind of surprise?"
Pepper just smirks again. "Well, it may or may not have to do with a little black something I picked up on the way home the other day. But the longer we stand here talking about it, the longer it sits on the floor in the backseat of the car and not the floor of the bedroom."
Tony coughs a bit at the mental image that suddenly invades his head and feels a flush of blood rise to his face. "Well, when you put it like that…"
Pepper gives him another smile and pecks him on the lips. "Go find Steve and I'll meet you both in the car."
"Aye, aye, cap'n," Tony tells her with a mock salute, watching as she chuckles at him before turning and walking back toward the door. It's only after she's disappeared through the sliding glass doors that he turns around and grudgingly tromps into the store.
OOOOO
It wasn't finding Steve that was the problem, it was the fact that Tony absolutely hated navigating his way around the grocery store. The aisles were too long and too crowded for his liking and he couldn't go five steps without an eager, too-chipper employee popping out of the shadows and asking him if he needed assistance. No matter where he was in the store, they were right behind him, waiting and watching and ready to jump out like minimum wage vultures the minute he looked lost.
He'd made the mistake of sending Steve off, alone, in the grocery store and was instantly regretting that decision. Seeing as how times had changed dramatically in the past 70 years that Steve had been froze, the younger man tended to examine every single product on the shelf before making a decision. On good days, he only did it once; on bad days, he'd pick up the same item three or four times before he finally made a decision. It was a long and tedious process but Steve was nothing if not thorough in his examination of the products in the store. None of the others agreed to go shopping with him anymore thanks to it.
And now, he was alone and loose in the store and it was Tony's job to track him down. It was going to be like finding a blond needle in a red and white painted haystack. Tony was tempted to just install a tracking device on him when he wasn't looking but Natasha threatened to break both of his thumbs if he did that so that idea was quickly tossed out the window. Still, he could at least send Steve off with a pocket flare the next time he decided to go on a fantastic adventure through the grocery store. It would make finding him a hell of a lot easier too.
Tony is just about to give up and pull out his cell phone to call him when he rounds a corner and comes face-to-face with Steve and a little old lady in the aisle. The elderly woman is clinging to her basket like it's the only thing keeping her from falling to the floor and Steve is reaching up above her head to the top shelf to grab the 12-pack of paper towels.
"Here you are, ma'am," he says with a smile as he turns around and places the paper towels in her basket.
"Oh, thank you so much, young man," the woman gushes, face face spreading into a wrinkled smile. "I never could have reached those without your help."
"My pleasure," Steve tells her with another smile, looking up and finally catching Tony's eye. "Oh, hey," he says, waving slightly.
Tony walks forward, quelling the urge to pull out his phone and add another tally mark to the "Steve's Good Deeds" list Pepper started on his phone. She was right, Steve really couldn't be left alone for five minutes without volunteering to do some kind of charity work.
The woman sees him approaching and smiles brightly at him. "Such a nice young man you have here," she tells him, approval literally coloring her voice as she speaks.
Tony frowns a bit at the implication but shakes it off. "Yep, like a great big boy scout, this one."
"It's so rare to find young people with such nice manners this day and age," the woman continues with a glance back at Steve who's looking equally parts 'aw shucks' and embarrassed. "You did a good job raising him."
Tony quirks an eyebrow because this is the second time she's implied that Steve was his son. Still, he can't exactly snap back at a senior citizen so he simply shrugs in response. "Yep, his mother and I are very proud of him."
"As you should be," the woman tells him with a smile. She turns back to her basket and grips the handle. "Well, you two have a nice day," she tells them just before tottering off down the aisle.
Tony allows five seconds to pass before he walks down the aisle and snatches Steve by the elbow. "Steve, I sent you to find groceries, not get your 'aiding the elderly' badge."
"I know," Steve counters as he reclaims his own basket a few feet away. "But she needed help and I couldn't just let her struggle to reach up there on her own."
The older man rolls his eyes with a bit of a sigh. "God, you give even Mother Theresa a bad name."
"Who?"
"Nevermind. Come on, we need to get going. We're supposed to meet Pepper at the car."
"Okay," Steve says as they continue walking, pulling out a list (an honest to God list!) from his pocket and crossing out a few items. "I have almost everything, we just need to get-"
"Excuse me," a woman calls out, catching their attention as they pass by. She's sitting behind a table with large banner proclaiming 'East Valley High School Choir' across the center of it. "Would you be interested in taking part our raffle? We're selling tickets for our students to go to a competition next month and you have the chance to win some really great prizes!"
Before either of them can respond, she hops up and gestures to the large black and steel grill behind her. "This is our grand prize," she tells them with a grin. "A grill like this normally runs a couple hundred dollars but if you win the raffle it's completely free!" She turns her attention back to them with another winning smile. "It's a great gift for dad gift too," she says with a wink at Tony but her attention is directed at Steve.
Tony blinks twice before he realizes this the second time in less than ten minutes someone had implied that he was Steve's father.
"Would you be interested in purchasing a ticket?" The woman asks, glancing back and forth between the two of them and smiling brightly.
Steve is about to say something but Tony cuts him off, grabbing him by the elbow and steering him away from the table. "Sorry lady," he says over one shoulder as he walks away. "Not interested in choirs or grills, thanks for the offer though."
At the woman's bewildered look and Steve's glare, Tony sighs and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a $20 bill and walking back to drop it on the table. "Have a nice day," he tells her before dragging Steve away again.
Once they're out of earshot, Steve looks at him in confusion. "What was that all about? She was just trying to help out that school."
Tony sighs; he really doesn't feel like explaining the situation to Steve so he settles on something equally simple. "Fundraisers and raffles like that are rigged; only half of the money actually goes to the students, the rest goes to the school district. Giving her cash directly makes it more likely that it will go to the student and not somewhere else. Make sense?"
Steve puzzles over this for a second before nodding slightly. "Yeah, I guess that makes more sense. Good call."
Tony accepts the compliment without a word, happy enough that he didn't have to explain his implied paternity to the younger man. Today had taken a sharp turn down the rabbit hole and Tony was more than ready to get out of the general public before it got worse.
They approach the cash registers and are greeted with a smiling attendant asking if they had found everything they needed. Tony gives a mumbled reply as Steve engages in the typical check-out small talk with the clerk while they place their items on the conveyor belt. The younger man looks down into the basket suddenly and frowns.
"Shoot, I forgot the fabric softener," he mutters more to himself than Tony. He steps away from the basket and starts walking back down the main aisle. "I'll be right back," he calls over his shoulder as he makes his way back into the heart of the store."
"You've got two minutes," Tony shoots back, continuing to pull things out of the cart and placing them on the belt. "If you're not back by then, I'm leaving you here and you can walk home."
The attendant chuckles softly as she scans the items that pass across her register. She places them in plastic bags beside her and hands them to Tony to put back in the cart. "The joys of grocery shopping, huh?" She says conversationally as Tony places the last of their items on the belt.
"You don't know the half of it," Tony says with a sigh, watching as the woman scans a box of trash bags, paper towels, Windex, dish soap, and a few other necessities they needed for the Tower. It was nothing but the basics for now, they'd conquer the food shopping later in the week once everyone was back from their various missions and research trips.
The woman loads the last of the items into a plastic bag and hands it to him, hesitating to ring up the total until Steve returns. She glances at the bags with half-interest and gives him a soft smile. "Dorm room shopping?"
Tony doesn't quite catch the question as he pulls out his credit card. "No, apartment actually."
"Ahh, I gotcha," she says, taking the card and placing it next to the register. "The basics are always the hardest to buy because you never realize what you need until you don't have it. We ran into that problem when my oldest moved out."
Tony looks up from his wallet with a kind of disbelief plastered across his face. Seriously? Seriously?!
The woman is undeterred and continues on talking, completely oblivious to Tony's expression. "It's hard sending them away for the first time," she says a bit wistfully, looking back out into the store. "I think I was more prepared for it than my husband was; poor thing, it hit him harder than he expected." She gives him a knowing smile. "Might want to watch out, you never realize how much you'll miss your kids until they leave."
Tony wants to respond with something, anything, to the fact that this woman was not only implying that Steve was his son but that he's sending him away for college for the first time. And even worse, that's he's going to develop empty nest syndrome from the whole thing!
He's just about to open his mouth when Steve reappears with a bottle of fabric softener, handing it to the attendant with a smile. She scans it and places it in a bag, handing the bag to Steve and then running Tony's credit card.
Tony is still too dumbfounded to accept the receipt when she hands it to him so Steve takes it instead and drops it inside one of the bags. Tony still doesn't move when she passes the credit card back to him so Steve takes that as well, raising an eyebrow at the older man. "Tony, you ready to go?"
"Yep." The word comes out sharp and fast like a cobra strike and the attendant actually flinches just the tiniest bit when he says it. She recovers quickly and wishes them a nice day but Tony makes it a point to adamantly ignore her as they turn away from the register.
Steve hands him his credit card as they step away. "Here you go, pops," Steve says casually, flippantly, like he didn't just lend every amount of credence to the woman's assumptions. "Can't walk around leaving your money everywhere."
Tony takes the card wordlessly and has to literally fight the urge to peg Steve in the shoulder for the remark. He doesn't get, he wouldn't understand, and Tony really just doesn't have the mental faculties available at the moment to explain. Not only that, if he's completely honest with himself, his pride is smarting a bit from the fact that three people in less than an hour assumed he was old enough to be Steve's father. Seriously, ow.
They walk out into the parking lot and meet up with Pepper just as she's opening the passenger side door. Pepper notices the strange look on Tony's face as they approach but wisely says nothing, choosing instead to help Steve load the groceries into the back of the car. A few minutes later, they're packed and ready and driving back toward the Tower.
As the store disappears in the rearview mirror, Tony can't help but feel some of Pepper's earlier agitation creeping into his thoughts. He brushes it aside as much as he can, concentrating instead on the idea of a little black something being on the floor of his bedroom very soon after they get back to the Tower.
OOOOO
It's about three days later when Pepper comes waltzing into his lab with a peculiar little smile on her face. She pecks him on the lips gently and places a glossy new magazine on his desk. Tony's eyebrow quirks for a second as he reaches across the table to pick it up.
"You said they only follow the beautiful people, babe," Pepper tells him with a grin as she leans over him to read, resting her chin just on top of shoulder. "And you are beautiful."
The center story of the magazine, the one that takes up two full pages of colored photos and black and white ink, has a headline that reads: "Is Tony Stark Fostering a Secret Lovechild?" And there, in the middle of the article, is a picture of he and Steve at the grocery store and walking out into the parking lot next to one another.
"'Sources claim that Tony has re-connected with a long lost son'?!" The man in question blurts incredulously. "'The resemblance is uncanny'?! How can it be uncanny? We're not even related!"
Pepper just smiles and kisses him on the cheek. "Welcome back to the world of the beautiful people, hot stuff."
Tony barely hears her as he continues to read through the article. "'Undeniable proof as a witness hears the mysterious young man call Tony 'pops'?! Oh, come on!"
Hope you guys liked it! :D