Okay my beauties, this is going to take a while for I have a few announcements.

First: I am discontinuing NejiGaara in this particular fic because for one it doesn't really need to be here and for another I'm writing it as a separate fic. So of course, it doesn't really matter. The reasons being that the King of Chocolate just turned up at my house and was like 'Paige, babe, you're killing me here. I need more fucking limelight' and I replied with 'Okay Itachi, what's in it for me?' and he smirked and the rest I won't share for your own benefit.

Second: Just to clarify, I realise the ending of last chapter may have been slightly misleading, but for the record, ItaSasu will NOT be happening in this fic. Itachi does not and will not harbour any romantic or sexual feelings towards Sasuke AT ALL, as you will see from the start of this chapter. But if you liked that idea, yeah so do I, it's just not happening in this one ;P

Reply to Guest: This made me giggle. I'd stop wondering if I were you. Looks like you walked into the wrong corner of Fanfiction, it ain't for the fainthearted. But it makes me happy to know that there are normal people out there. :)

DISCLAIMER: When Itachi and I had sex he also told me that the deal I made with Kishimoto was nullified because he doesn't share his sex toys. I then proceeded to tell him I did his brother. I then got in trouble. The morale of the story is I still don't own Naruto.

"Itachi" said Kisame, as he followed the Uchiha through the darkness, "Where are we going?"

"To head Kakashi off" said Itachi, as though it were obvious, "We can't have him finding Sasuke and Naruto like that, now can we?"

Kisame narrowed his eyes. "You want to tell me the real reason you didn't look away? Because you and I both know you're not that fucked up."

Itachi smirked. "Sometimes I think you know me better than anyone, Kisame. It was Sasuke's curse mark. It appears to display unusual behaviour in different circumstances."

"What does that mean?" demanded Kisame impatiently

"Orochimaru's obsession is going too far" answered Itachi, "He's spying on him through the curse mark"

"So he is aware of Sasuke's relationship with Naruto?" asked Kisame

Itachi laughed. "Not only that but he can see right into Sasuke's soul. Whatever Sasuke's true feelings are... Orochimaru has full access to them."

"Well that's a relief" sighed Kisame

"Excuse me?" shot Itachi coldly, "Did I hear that right?"

"I didn't mean that" said Kisame, "I meant thank god you're not turned on by your brother..."

Itachi clicked his tongue. "Who's fucked up now?"

Kisame chuckled. "Your devotion to Sasuke astounds me. Anyway, what are you going to do about Kakashi?"

Itachi considered for a moment. "You're going to head off Orochimaru because I know for a fact that he's headed towards Sasuke's cave right now. But be careful, he's strong. The commotion should wake the others and give them time to escape. My plan will fail if Naruto doesn't get out of there in one piece. As for Kakashi... well that's none of your business. I'll handle him."

Itachi held out his hand towards Kisame and waited. Realized what Itachi wanted Kisame pulled out an Akatsuki coat and placed it in Itachi's hand. Conveniently, it happened to be in Kakashi's size.

Kakashi looked at the entrance.

"So Naruto's in there..."

"What's the plan?" asked Yamato suddenly. Jumping Kakashi turned to face his monitor. When Tsunade had assigned Kakashi's old teammate to watch over him Kakashi had been annoyed given that Yamato was once his subordinate. Nevertheless, he couldn't complain too much. It was for his protection, right?

His mind flashed back to Itachi. It wasn't as if he could be stopped anyway.

Kakashi wasn't sure if he even cared.

"Kakashi?" called Yamato, "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine" said Kakashi, focusing again, "Here's what we'll do..."

Kakashi looked to face the hideout once more. "I'll go in this entrance, and make my way through. You stay here in case of any trouble. If I need you I'll send for you. I'll stay low until I find Naruto and Sakura and then I'll do whatever I can to get out again. That's all the planning I can muster given the elusive circumstances. You got that?"

No answer.

"Yamato?"

Kakashi turned round to see that Yamato was unconscious. Unconscious and slumped in a heap on the ground. Kakashi took out his kunai and took a defensive stance.

"Who's there!" he barked

"Boo"

Kakashi spun to find himself looking upon Itachi, who was smirking triumphantly.

"Itachi" spat Kakashi, "What did you do to him?"

Itachi didn't answer, but rather threw something, a spiral of red and black which gently fell to the floor.

"Here's the way this is going to work" said Itachi smoothly, "Yamato has been in my Tsukuyuomi for 30 seconds now. Do you know how long that is?"

Kakashi didn't answer.

"It's five weeks" smiled Itachi, "Five weeks of torture. You're going to make a choice Kakashi. Either put on the cloak and come with me, and I will wipe the memories of Yamato leaving his psyche undamaged, or... refuse, and I will release Yamato with his memories intact, but his mind... destroyed."

Kakashi growled. "You bastard"

"Every second you waste thinking about it leaves him in there longer" smiled Itachi, "Apparently I was taking so long. Our leader requested I have done with it already. So, are you coming or not?"

Kakashi had no choice. He wouldn't let Yamato suffer because of him.

"I can't just leave him in this state" snapped Kakashi

Itachi grinned. "Naruto will find him on his way out, I'm sure. And let's not forget that pretty little pink girl and her medical ninjutsu. You already know what you're going to do Kakashi... put it on."

Kakashi snarled and grabbed the coat, roughly pulling it on.

"Brilliant" smiled Itachi, "Now follow me..."

Kakashi took a look at Yamato's lifeless frame before reluctantly following behind Itachi. Suddenly, Itachi spun around and grabbed Kakashi's arm. They started spinning, and then they were somewhere else.

"Where are we?" demanded Kakashi angrily.

"This is one of the Akatsuki's many hideouts," informed Itachi, "This is the one you will be stationed at. You are not to leave unless given a mission by our leader, Pein."

"So what you're saying" spat Kakashi, "Is that I'm to wait here like a little bitch until some guy tells me to do something"

"You won't be alone" said Itachi, "There are others besides you stationed here"

"Others?"

Itachi nodded. "Me, Kisame, Hidan and Kakuzu. Hidan and Kakuzu are currently staying in another on a mission. We have another hideout not far from here occupied by Deidara, Sasori and Zetsu. I have no idea where Pein and Konan are and I don't care. It doesn't concern me."

"So what I live with you now?" demanded Kakashi

A ghostly smile bathed Itachi's face. "Yes I suppose you do"

Kakashi took a deep breath. "I may wear this cloak. I may be here. But I will never be one of you. The first chance I get I'm leaving."
Itachi looked at him. "I didn't want to have to say this but if you attempt to leave I'll be forced to kill off everyone you know one by one until you submit. Forgive me if the act sounds unappealing but I'd rather not waste my time wasting irrelevant people."
Kakashi frowned. Something was up with Itachi. More to the point, he hadn't imposed on Kakashi since they'd ran into each other. Wasn't this what Itachi wanted?

"I know what you're thinking" said Itachi quietly, "But it's really quite trivial... I'm extremely tired from using the Mangekyou Sharingan earlier. Come, I want you to sleep with me."

Kakashi noticed for the first time that Itachi's eyelids were drooping. Not wanting to complicate the situation, Kakashi followed him into a room that contained nothing but a bed and lay down beside the Uchiha, who seemingly fell asleep before his head even hit the pillow.

Brightness met Kakashi's eyes as a hole in the roof of the cave allowed sunlight to hit his face directly. Was it morning? Kakashi rubbed his eyes and sighed.

Shit, he'd joined the Akatsuki.

Tsunade would kill him. Literally.

He went to sit up but a hand flew out and hit his chest so that he slumped back down.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked Itachi, sleepily.

"I'm hungry" snapped Kakashi

"I'll give you something to eat" teased Itachi

"What?" shot Kakashi

Itachi just chuckled and his eyes shot open lustfully. Swinging his leg over he sat across Kakashi's chest and cocked his head to one side. His hair was loose and hung around his face and Kakashi noted how long it was. How beautiful. Itachi leant down and planted a kiss on Kakashi's lips. As usual it lacked any romance, but what did he expect? Kakashi couldn't help but kiss him back with uncharacteristic enthusiasm.

"You're playful today" noted Itachi, pulling away, "It's a good job we don't have to leave until noon"

"We have a mission?" asked Kakashi tentatively

Itachi grinned. "We've got to bring someone in."

"Who?"

The grin widened. "Naruto Uzumaki."

No...

I've noticed I really enjoy torturing Kakashi. I think it's my way of punishing him for fucking Obito over, who knows.

Shit. I need to write a fic about Obito.

I fucking LOVE Obito.

Shit. Wait. He hasn't turned up yet.

Muahahahahaaha.

I ain't saying nothing.

Just thought I'd inform you all that I was in Waterstones yesterday, upstairs where it was all quiet, when my phone rang, blasting out the Naruto Tailed Beast Song (you know, the one where they're all chibi and kawaii) and some guy (really fucking hot guy) turned around and laughed and said 'Dattebayo!'

I contemplated throwing a sack over his head and taking him home but then I remembered. Life isn't an anime. I can't do weird shit like that. So I hugged him, as protocol for meeting ALL Naruto fans, and left.

Review little grasshoppers. And stay perverted or I'll just be alone.