AN:// OH I'M SORRY FOR UPDATING SO LATE, BUT THIS ONE IS IN SAKURA'S POV
AGAIN BECAUSE I JUST FELT LIKE IT... THIS IS SAKURA'S REFLECTION ON HER
THING YEA..
Lost
I couldn't feel myself as I stepped out of the car. I didn't look at Syaoran twice, I knew, I brought myself into this. I knew Miaso felt something for me, but I walked off with him that night, and my world changed... I didn't feel like my perky self any longer. I went upstairs to my apartment, and straight outside onto the balcony. The stars were actually shining tonight, and I thought it was a perfect, beautiful night. I couldn't bring myself to love it though, all I felt was a dirty, DIRTY feeling. Down to my every last bone. When he entered me, I felt lost, I felt dead. I was no longer, me.
I couldn't even find refuge with my eyes closed, I dreamt about Miaso, his evil smile, my legs spread apart, tied to the bed. I felt so ugly that moment, even though he found me quite sexy, I could see it in his eyes. I wanted to hide my nudity so much, but my arms were handcuffed to the head of the bed, and me, me..... I was lying there crying through a tape. More images of his smile crept into the image, and I remembered the look in his eyes. He didn't even care how horrible what he did was affecting me. He just wanted into me, he didn't care how I felt afterwards, or that I did not agree. In my dreams, I felt him go into me, I felt like I was reliving that moment all over again. A moment I wanted to repress, but sadly, I could not.
The next morning, I found myself still out in the balcony. I remembered, I couldn't find enough energy to walk back in and go to sleep. I lounged outside, my insides shook at the thought of my dream. I couldn't escape him. I called Jen, informing her I would not be going to work. I didn't want to see him today, I didn't want to see him ever. I went to my room, and laid on the bed. Images of me being in the dusty house arose once again, and I, I couldn't rest, I couldn't do anything without the feeling of him all over me.
Days passed, and I still couldn't forget the day, I haven't gone to the ML Headquarters for days. The phone ringed all the time, literally every 10-15 minutes. I figured it was from Jen, Arisu, Yumi, or even Syaoran. Everytime I think of Syaoran, my heart hurts. It was my fault that he had to come and rescue me, I brought it on myself. I felt so selfish asking him for a divorce, telling him I hated him, and loved him at the same time, then him saving me from the evil. I still couldn't bring myself up to talk to him though, I haven't talked to anyone. Every night I went to bed sighing to myself, wishing I could turn back time, and bring Syaoran to me. My eyes slowly drifted and I was in my mind again. Tonight's dream changed from the usual....
.
.
.
.
I was at home, in Tomoeda with Tomoyo, Eriol, and Syaoran. Laughing, and happy, kissing Syaoran, and watching Tomoyo giggle with happiness. Eriol with his mysterious look, smiling over me and Syaoran. I felt warm for the first time in a week or so, and I laughed with the man I felt I loved. Suddenly, in the dream, there was a terrible earthquake. It shook so violently, I reached out to grab Syaoran and I held onto him, as it shook harder and harder.
Just as soon as it started it stopped, but Syaoran was no longer in my arms. He was laughing, and the image of his naked body pressed against that black haired girl. He laughed harder when he noticed I was watching them. I heard her groan in pleasure, and I wanted to run away. As his laughter carried through as a ran down the hall, and straight into Miaso. Miaso grabbed me hard, kissing me, touching me, violating me. He started laughing now, and the sound of Miaso and Syaoran's laughter filled the air. I cried and cried, no one came....
I woke up in a cold sweat, I cried soft tears. The dream was a warning. I could feel it, I didn't want to believe, but I knew it was true. The two men, I thought I could see a future with broke my heart.
.
.
.
If I wanted to be safe I knew, I could never be with Syaoran. No matter how much I wanted, or how much he wanted, in the end, I would get hurt. I always get hurt...
.
.
AN:// I know this is short but I just wanted to update for you guys as soon as possible! Im sorry! Anyways review, and I'll try to update again, but school sucks man!
AGAIN BECAUSE I JUST FELT LIKE IT... THIS IS SAKURA'S REFLECTION ON HER
THING YEA..
Lost
I couldn't feel myself as I stepped out of the car. I didn't look at Syaoran twice, I knew, I brought myself into this. I knew Miaso felt something for me, but I walked off with him that night, and my world changed... I didn't feel like my perky self any longer. I went upstairs to my apartment, and straight outside onto the balcony. The stars were actually shining tonight, and I thought it was a perfect, beautiful night. I couldn't bring myself to love it though, all I felt was a dirty, DIRTY feeling. Down to my every last bone. When he entered me, I felt lost, I felt dead. I was no longer, me.
I couldn't even find refuge with my eyes closed, I dreamt about Miaso, his evil smile, my legs spread apart, tied to the bed. I felt so ugly that moment, even though he found me quite sexy, I could see it in his eyes. I wanted to hide my nudity so much, but my arms were handcuffed to the head of the bed, and me, me..... I was lying there crying through a tape. More images of his smile crept into the image, and I remembered the look in his eyes. He didn't even care how horrible what he did was affecting me. He just wanted into me, he didn't care how I felt afterwards, or that I did not agree. In my dreams, I felt him go into me, I felt like I was reliving that moment all over again. A moment I wanted to repress, but sadly, I could not.
The next morning, I found myself still out in the balcony. I remembered, I couldn't find enough energy to walk back in and go to sleep. I lounged outside, my insides shook at the thought of my dream. I couldn't escape him. I called Jen, informing her I would not be going to work. I didn't want to see him today, I didn't want to see him ever. I went to my room, and laid on the bed. Images of me being in the dusty house arose once again, and I, I couldn't rest, I couldn't do anything without the feeling of him all over me.
Days passed, and I still couldn't forget the day, I haven't gone to the ML Headquarters for days. The phone ringed all the time, literally every 10-15 minutes. I figured it was from Jen, Arisu, Yumi, or even Syaoran. Everytime I think of Syaoran, my heart hurts. It was my fault that he had to come and rescue me, I brought it on myself. I felt so selfish asking him for a divorce, telling him I hated him, and loved him at the same time, then him saving me from the evil. I still couldn't bring myself up to talk to him though, I haven't talked to anyone. Every night I went to bed sighing to myself, wishing I could turn back time, and bring Syaoran to me. My eyes slowly drifted and I was in my mind again. Tonight's dream changed from the usual....
.
.
.
.
I was at home, in Tomoeda with Tomoyo, Eriol, and Syaoran. Laughing, and happy, kissing Syaoran, and watching Tomoyo giggle with happiness. Eriol with his mysterious look, smiling over me and Syaoran. I felt warm for the first time in a week or so, and I laughed with the man I felt I loved. Suddenly, in the dream, there was a terrible earthquake. It shook so violently, I reached out to grab Syaoran and I held onto him, as it shook harder and harder.
Just as soon as it started it stopped, but Syaoran was no longer in my arms. He was laughing, and the image of his naked body pressed against that black haired girl. He laughed harder when he noticed I was watching them. I heard her groan in pleasure, and I wanted to run away. As his laughter carried through as a ran down the hall, and straight into Miaso. Miaso grabbed me hard, kissing me, touching me, violating me. He started laughing now, and the sound of Miaso and Syaoran's laughter filled the air. I cried and cried, no one came....
I woke up in a cold sweat, I cried soft tears. The dream was a warning. I could feel it, I didn't want to believe, but I knew it was true. The two men, I thought I could see a future with broke my heart.
.
.
.
If I wanted to be safe I knew, I could never be with Syaoran. No matter how much I wanted, or how much he wanted, in the end, I would get hurt. I always get hurt...
.
.
AN:// I know this is short but I just wanted to update for you guys as soon as possible! Im sorry! Anyways review, and I'll try to update again, but school sucks man!