Cameron and Nikki both stood up and simultaneously yelled "What?" before Cam covered his mouth in horror whilst Nikki walked over to her aunt.
"What happened, Ava? When? I mean – how could he have … he was at the … the centre…"
Right after saying this Nikki realised how pointless her argument was – as she had only too painfully remembered yesterday, it wasn't usually difficult for Cameron's dad to escape from the notice of his carers at the institution.
Ava swallowed hard and looked Cameron straight in the eye as tears began to flow hotly down his cheek.
"Cam … it was very early this morning … they've found traces of whisky in the car. He collided with a disused building… god. I am truly sorry." Her shoulders sank and she sighed. "I don't know what to say."
Cameron roughly brushed his hands over his wet cheeks and cleared his throat.
"And, uh … does- does my mom know?"
"I think the police have contacted her."
Nikki watched in tears as Cameron began to hurriedly gather up his stuff and pull his jeans on. He rushed over to her, and she squeezed him tightly, whispering in his ear:
"I'll be right here Cam, when you need it. I'll be here."
She kissed his cheek and held his gaze.
"I'll call you Nik, I just…I gotta go …"
She almost smiled a little.
"Stop apologising, baby, I understand. Of course I do!"
Cam leant down gently to kiss her lips, and then rushed out, still apologising as he went.
As soon as his feet had crossed the threshold, Nikki collapsed into her aunts arms whilst Ava stroked her hair tenderly. More than anything, Nikki was feeling a confusing mix of sadness, guilt and anger. A thousand thoughts were whirling around her brain.
What if Cam hadn't been with me last night? Why does he even care about Kyle anymore? Why am I so jealous? Why can't I just be sympathetic instead of judging Cameron? And why can't we just have a normal relationship?
On top of all this, Kyle's car accident inevitably caused old feelings which she had hoped were gone and buried to resurface – about her parents, and the resentment she had felt when they met their untimely fate.
"I miss him, Ava. I miss them. Everyone just goes away. Cam and I were getting on so well … things are going great. And I feel awful for thinking that … for thinking that …"
Although feeling nervous, Nikki felt she had to spit it out to try and achieve some kind of peace of mind.
"I keep feeling like Kyle is even ruining things for Cam, and for me, now that he's dead."
It sounded more shocking to her now that she had said it, and she immediately regretted it as her aunt remained silent for a few moments.
"Oh god, Ava, just forget I said that. I didn't mean it. And it's a horrible thing to even think."
Ava wrapped her arms around Nikki even more.
"No, it isn't. And you're not the only one who was thinking it. You know, for once it was nice to see you and Cam almost … settled. But hey," she said, seeing the sadness on her niece's face. "It's just a blip. But you have to let Cameron grieve. Kyle was his dad … and we need to respect that."
88888888
Three weeks later, and the only time Nikki had seen Cameron was at Kyle's funeral, where they obviously hadn't had much of a chance for chatting.
No call, no nothing. No contact whatsoever. Nikki was trying to hold on waiting for him, but now her patience was wearing thin.
Having found herself a job as a sub at the local elementary school, she and Lucie were still living with Ava, but after what had almost been a month of silence from Cameron, she was seriously considering packing up and heading back to Miami.
The only rational explanation she could muster in her mind was that Cam, after the sudden and painful loss of his father, had begun to freak out about being a dad to his own daughter… which made Nikki's other problem all the more awkward.
The day after the funeral, she had vomited violently at around 6am and knew immediately what was up. Morning sickness had been exactly the same with Lucie, and the pregnancy test she had taken that morning had confirmed that she was having another baby. Whilst initially she had been overjoyed – she and Cameron certainly had a knack for accidental pregnancies – her heart had quickly sunk as she remembered that they weren't speaking any more. The worst part was that it wasn't even an angry silence. She just felt so abandoned, and it broke her heart every time Lucie asked where her daddy was only to be met with a hopeful "maybe we'll see him soon, sweetie," from her mother.
A month ago, Nikki would have been delighted to tell Cam that they were having another baby, but recent events made her feel like she was in the same situation as she had been five years ago – having to hide her baby away and move back to Miami.
She decided it was for the best if she didn't contact Cameron. Maybe this was his stupid, 'jellyfish' way of telling her that he had chickened out of his responsibilities and that he wasn't ready to resume their relationship, yet again.
Hopefully they would meet again, but as Nikki flopped down onto her bed and sobbed for the third time that week, she saw her dream of a perfect family with the man she loved fading further and further away.