CHAPTER TEN – Pondering Civility
Disclaimer & Story Warnings: The characters and the world of the HARRY POTTER universe belong to JKR. The plot is mine. This story plot is rated MATURE. If you are not 18 years or older, this story is not for you. You have been warned!
Hermione was up early the next morning, and was alternating between looking up random things in the books laid out around her and scribbling notes on the parchment in front of her. Unlike the previous weeks there was no stack of papers to grade, and she was beginning to think it might be a few days before Professor Snape calmed enough to resume any sort of contact with her. All the while she played the events of the past evening over and over in her head, specifically the moment when Severus reached around her and froze when he realized how close he was to her. Her thoughts were interrupted when a knock sounded on her door.
"Come in," she called, her eyes wide at the idea that he would be showing his face so soon. She braced herself for Severus's presence. But relief soon followed when the Headmistress let herself in instead.
"Hermione dear, how are you feeling? Snarky said you wished to speak with me," Minerva said, coming forward to give her a quick little hug. She looked Hermione over and nodded to herself with approval at the improved look of Hermione's health as she sat down and conjured a full tea service. "I must say I'm very pleased to see you looking so much better. I must apologize for not visiting sooner; I have had endless meetings with the Ministry and the School Governors of late, as well as dealing with the usual school matters," she commented.
"Yes, I'm feeling much better, thank you, and I hope you realize how grateful I am for the trouble you went through with these rooms. I know it must have been quite a project to fix them the way you have for my comfort during my...stay," Hermione said a tad uneasily. "Yes, I did wish to speak with you, about Professor Snape," she added with a sigh. "We had a bit of a row last night and it's reminded me how much I really don't know about him. Honestly, it's very confusing to me how I should behave around him as things stand," she stated.
"Well, why don't you tell me what happened last night first and then we can go from there?" Minerva said, curious as to what Professor Snape could have done to upset one of her favorite past students, someone she had always known to be very well versed at handling most situations herself. Hermione related the few encounters she had had with Professor Snape since her arrival back at Hogwarts and started to tell the Headmistress about the events of the previous evening, only to have Minerva stop her when she mentioned the spell that had hauled her up by her ankle. "He cast Levicorpus on you?" Minerva asked, her eyes wide as she brought a hand to her heart in shock.
Hermione just nodded and Minerva set down the teacup that had been in her other hand and shook her head. "I remember when that very spell was turned on him and how horrible that day was when his friendship with…Harry's mother…came to an end in front of most of the school. He fell victim to it a few more times before he graduated, but to my knowledge he has never used it himself since that day," Minerva commented. Taking a quick sip of her tea, she contemplated his actions for a moment, a frown gracing her features. "I know that you understand how difficult and different things are with Sev—Professor Snape. He is a very complicated man who has been through so many terrible things these past twenty-some years that neither of us can truly comprehend, much less survive as well as he has done. However, such behavior is uncalled for and I will be sure that you receive a proper apology from him for last night. He may have issues he is still overcoming but that is no reason to lash out at you after all you have done for him," Minerva stated with a grim expression.
Hermione shook her head. " No, please don't force him to apologize. I realize he should not have done that and more than likely he realizes that himself. I just need some advice from you on how to not exactly deal with him, but behave around him so that he doesn't lash out when I cross some line I'm not even aware of crossing," she said. "Like last night, when he accidentally brushed against my shoulder it's like he was almost shocked by that simple touch. It makes me wonder just how secluded he has been all these years that a simple brush against someone else sets off his temper in such a way," Hermione explained.
Minerva nodded with understanding. "Yes, he has always been a very solitary man. The few people who could possibly be counted as his friends are what we would term mere acquaintances. He has been isolated for so long that now, with the wizarding world a relatively safe place, he is completely out of his depth when it comes to social niceties. It will take a long time for him to just relax in the company of other people," she commented. "I understand this may seem a bother under your confined circumstances, but I had hoped that over the next year of spending time with you he may relax a bit—in time, that is. I'm not looking for a miracle, but under the circumstances you are actually the perfect type of person that I believe could help him adjust to the new world we live in, for you both have so much in common when it comes to academia," she said, looking at Hermione to gauge her reaction.
Hermione set her own teacup down and leaned back against the couch, eyeing her previous Head of House with something akin to bewilderment. "He doesn't like me, Headmistress. He never has. How could I possibly 'bring him out of his shell,' as it were?" she asked, her face a mask of shocked confusion at the idea.
"I'm not saying I have a whole plan for helping you with such a thing, Hermione. I'm only sharing my hopes for what is possible over the next year. Yes, you saved his life, but what kind of life will it be if he stays the same old miserable, sneering Snape we have all known? I don't know exactly what to tell you, or how you might go about this. The only thing I know for sure is that you mustn't push him, and you must be patient," she replied, before smiling ruefully and adding, " Having spent the whole of your school years keeping track of Messrs Potter and Weasley, I have no doubt that your patience can withstand the daunting task of helping Professor Snape let his guard down a bit and relax."
Hermione chuckled, thinking of the many times her patience had helped her deal with the many moods, outbursts and such from Harry and Ron over the years. Both of those boys could try a saint, she thought with a smile. Then she sighed and said, "Giving Professor Snape a second chance at life, helping in any way I can so that he can enjoy his newfound freedom, is why I went back and gave him that antidote," she stated, looking the Headmistress in the eye. "He deserves it, more so than most of us, for all he has done. I just wish I knew him a bit better," she added, looking at her feet, a look of wistful concentration on her face.
"I was his teacher for seven years and then his colleague for over twenty,"_Minerva said. "I still don't know him very well. Maybe with time a miracle can happen and you might be able to break through a few of those walls he has built around himself," she commented. Both of them were silent and spent a few minutes sipping their tea while they contemplated the enigma that was Professor Snape.
Shaking her head, Hermione looked at her Headmistress as another worry she had came to mind. "Professor, I wonder if you might tell me what you did or said to Harry, Ron and my parents. I don't remember too much of my arrest or my arrival back here, but I do remember the Unspeakables said I couldn't contact anyone and that I was to remain here. What did you tell those who are going to worry?" she asked.
Minerva sighed, set her cup down once again, and sat back with her arms on the sides of her chair. "That was more difficult than it was to set up these quarters for you stay in, though I think the story I spun for all of them worked quite well, mostly with the boys and the Weasleys," she said. "As far as they all know, shortly after completing your N.E.W.T.s you were recruited for a very prestigious and not well known apprenticeship with the Department of Mysteries," she explained. "Harry and Ron, of course, were quite upset that you were taken away and unable to contact them, but in so many words, they fell for it. Your parents, though they believed every word, were quite upset at the idea that you would have no way to contact them. I tried to explain it as best I could, likening it to a research and development division of that Muggle intelligence agency MI6. After I assured them you would not be involved in any dangerous spy activities they calmed down some, but I take it they will not be happy until this year is done and you may have to apologize quite profusely for your absence. They didn't expect such a thing to happen after…after what happened during the final year of the war," Minerva said, handing Hermione a handkerchief as she watched a few tears spill over her former student's cheek.
"Thank you for handling that, and I want to officially apologize for all my actions have cost you. I know you must be somewhat disappointed in me after everything I've done and caused," Hermione said, looking at the floor.
Minerva gave a hmmmp. "Don't you dare apologize. Yes, it was dangerous and a bit crazy, what you did, but it was also heroic and the right thing. I am just glad we were able to keep you out of Azkaban for the full sentence; I daresay a year spent here under confinement is a small price to pay for such a gift as saving Professor Snape's life, my dear," she said, smiling lightly. "I think besides helping Severus a bit further, this year will give you plenty of time to read and study and decide what you wish to do with your future. I know you chose not to follow Harry and Ron into the Auror program at the Ministry, but there are so many areas of further study and training to choose from. Maybe having a year to carefully weigh your options will be the best thing for you," Minerva stated. "I will be sure to provide you with any books, pamphlets and materials I can to help since you are without your wand," she added softly.
Hermione smiled lightly as she considered how much she missed her wand and how…wrong…it felt not having it. "I think this happening to me, of all people—being without my wand, that is—will be a lot easier since I spent half my life in the Muggle world without one. It will help me appreciate the gifts I was born with," she replied. Suddenly, though, another thought came to mind and her face held a frown as she asked, "I wonder if you might find out, when you can, how Crookshanks is doing. I left him with my parents before I came back here for the summer and worked on restocking the Hospital Wing. I know he must be going crazy with my continued absence," she stated, feeling sad at how much she missed her familiar.
"He was quite upset but is doing well with your parents. He is a very smart cat, after all. I'm sure he understands that if you could, you two would be together," Minerva answered. "I've promised to keep your parents informed of your well-being as it becomes known to me, so I will be sure to pass on your love to your cat as well next time I visit them," she offered.
They were silent for a few moments before Hermione's curiosity once again forced her to speak up and question things. "Do you mind me asking what is going on with the Ministry and the Board of Governors, that you are meeting with them so often? I don't really remember Professor Dumbledore meeting with them so much while he was Headmaster," she said, tilting her head a bit as she looked hopefully at the Headmistress.
Minerva let out a tired sigh and replied, "We are trying to formulate a plan to help prevent further prejudices against not just Muggle-borns, but Pure-bloods and the Muggle world. We all have various ideas but we are trying to decide what would work best to prevent another war like these past two. We want to promote understanding for everyone," she said, sounding exhausted by the daunting task they were trying to accomplish. A contemplative look came over her face and she asked, "As a Muggle-born, would you have any ideas you might contribute to the discussion? We both know you cannot attend these meetings, but you have always been a very thoughtful and resourceful witch and if you have any ideas you wish to share, I would be more than happy to hear them. We are not making any progress. Now that I think on it, not one witch or wizard who attends these meetings is Muggle-born—and a Muggle-born's perspective might be just what we need to accomplish such far-reaching goals," she said, looking at her former student with an eager glint in her eye.
Hermione smiled and said, "That sounds like a wonderful thing and just what the Wizarding World truly needs. Nothing really pops to mind at the moment but I will definitely think on it. I'll send Snarky to fetch you if I think of any ideas that might contribute to the discussions," Hermione said, smiling.
"Thank you, Hermione. I look forward to hearing your ideas," Minerva replied happily.
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Severus's face was creased into a very mean scowl as he stared at the parchments and scrolls in front of him. For over two hours he had been sitting at his desk, trying to figure out what to do with them. The parchment themselves were worn with use from the many times he had opened them over the years, with notes and possible formulas scrawled across the lines. Before him was the most promising of his potions research, scribbles and ideas he'd made sure to write down when he had a few moments to spare, which wasn't often. Most potion masters would have compiled a hundred times the amount of research papers he had by the time they were his age, but with his past duties to the Order and to Voldemort, he had never had enough time to devote to research.
Part of the problem, as he saw it, was that with the potions and research such as he had before him, more than two hands were needed to work out the problems. Potions could be a very dangerous subject in general; when you entered into the realm of experimentation for the sake of the unknown, it was extremely dangerous and required more than one brilliant mind to ensure success without bodily harm.
With that thought, his scowl deepened. The majority of potion masters had a handful of assistants or apprentices, and some even worked beside other masters. Severus was not one to share his work equally with anyone, so he knew that having at least one gofer to order around would be preferable. But in his situation he was unable to inquire about obtaining assistance from a recent graduate. With his responsibility of keeping Hermione's true whereabouts unknown he could not introduce a new person into the castle, especially one who could get suspicious when Severus disappeared often and would not elaborate on his whereabouts.
So that left him with one option, and he was loath to consider it at all. I already have the unhappy pleasure of working with her on the first through fourth years' homework and going for walks to help her cope with her imprisonment; how am I supposed to voluntarily ask her to aid me in my own personal research? he wondered grumpily.
Slouching a bit in his chair, he steepled his fingers and tried to work out the situation in his head. Obviously I would have to invite her into my personal lab, since it would risk her exposure if she were seen in the student labs. She would need her own workspace and would be in need of constant verbal communication with me to ensure she didn't hurt either of us, depending on what she was assisting with. Bloody hell, he thought as his debt to her nudged him once again.
She did save my life, after all. And despite her over-eager attitude, she wasn't all that bad at the subject, he admitted to himself with a mixture of irritation and reluctance. After much internal debate as the hours on the clock above his desk ticked away, he decided there was no way around it. As he finally resigned himself to what lay before him, he sat forward and started to write out a schedule that, taking into consideration his time spent in classes, would give Hermione the time to grade his first through fourth year papers, set aside two nights a week for walks outside of her rooms, and also help him with his work in the lab, all the while wondering what the fates had gotten him into.
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Hermione had been walking around her room and the lonely corridor as she contemplated the many things she and Minerva had discussed as well as Snape's behavior the previous evening. As she once again approached the door that led to the main stairwell of Hogwarts she suddenly paused, hearing voices on the other side of the door. Many voices. Thinking of what time it was, she figured it was between classes and she was hearing the students as they moved about the castle on the way to their next lesson. She looked at the door, feeling a bit of longing for the company of people, even few moments of being lost among the many in a crowd. She paused for a moment before sitting on the floor with her knees to the side, leaning her ear against the door to hear the flurry of the students who moved up and down the staircases in their rush between classes. Letting out a sigh, she sat there for several minutes listening closely but the door was too thick for her to hear what anyone was saying. Closing her eyes, she tried to forget she was alone and imagined she was in the midst of the hustle and bustle on the other side of the door.
After several moments Hermione started as she felt the door she had been leaning against grow warm. Her eyes opened and she skittered back on the floor in fear. Where the door and wall had once been there was nothing; she could actually see the stairs, the students, the paintings, and the hustle and bustle. Afraid that she had somehow cast some wild wandless magic, she thought of how horrible it would be to go back to Azkaban. But as the moments went by and no one took any notice of her she realized that whatever had happened, no one could see her or the third floor corridor. Raising herself from the floor, she walked slowly to the now one-way-invisible wall and door and reached out. She snatched her fingers back as she felt the jolt of the wards surrounding the door and briefly saw a white shimmer.
Her heart started to calm and she sat back on the floor and watched the students in their House robes for the next few minutes until the flow of students trickled to none as they disappeared before the start of class. Five to ten minutes after the last student had walked by, the wall and door gradually appeared again and the stairwell was once again hidden from sight. Saddened that whatever had happened had ended, she stayed where she was and thought back to her studies of the castle over the years, trying to remember if she had read about one-way walls appearing. Sitting on the floor staring at the door, she failed to hear Snape arrive through another door further down the corridor and stop when he realized she was there.
"Just what are you doing?" he asked, startling her out of her thoughts.
Hermione turned her head as she scrambled to her feet and brushed the dust from her backside. "I…umm…was just walking around the room and the corridor, thinking, and I got distracted and sat down to think a few things through," she said, not daring to share the mystery of the wall at that moment. "I wasn't trying to leave or anything, I was just thinking," she added lamely.
Severus's face was blank, not revealing his curiosity about why she had been staring at the door. He knew she would not be so stupid as to try and leave the corridor, but he also knew that she was hiding something. He could almost feel it. Keeping this in mind to unravel at a later date, he spat, "Follow me," and walked into her large living room. He walked over to the small dining table and waited for her look of confusion to clear as she rushed over to join him there instead of in the the more relaxed living room area. As soon as she sat down he pulled out his wand and waved it above the table, conjuring several stacks of parchments.
Hermione watched as he checked the stacks briefly, wondering if he was going to ignore what had happened the night before. She almost started to ask him what the parchments were about, because at a glance she knew they were not homework for her to grade. One stack had what looked like a list, one had what looked like very complicated Arithmancy equations beyond any she had ever studied, and one had what looked like snippets of facts from some very potent potions ingredients. He finally finished organizing-or stalling-and started to speak, bringing her attention from the parchment stacks.
"As you were previously told, the reason you are grading the first through fourth year papers is not only for the sake of my sanity or to give yourself something to do. Helping me in this way frees up my valuable time so that I may pursue my own personal potions research. As you questioned me about, I have not published or achieved much in my years since gaining my Mastery of Potions. This, of course, was due to the way my was time spent during both wars. Before you are some of the things you should learn if you are to be of…help, so that I can start to truly research and experiment. Masters of Potions who work in the unknown hardly ever do so alone because of the inherent dangers of such work," he said, wanting to leave the room already as her eyes brightened in understanding. "I would therefore…" he said, hesitating for a moment, "…ask if you might consider becoming an assistant to me in my…work." It sounded as if he was having to force the words out of his mouth.
Hermione stared at him, a smile on her face and her eyes alight with happiness at the idea that he was offering her such an opportunity. "Sir, I—of course, sir," she said, babbling. "I would be honored to help you in any way I can, I just…I can't leave these rooms, right, and I wonder how I can help you when there is no potions lab except the classroom, which would be risky if anyone were to discover me…." She stopped when he held up his hand.
"Cease your babbling and I will explain," he said,_cutting her off and sounding irritated as he tried to keep his temper in check. "This castle has many passageways that even Potter's old map never knew existed. I have been at this school in total for nearly thirty years if you count my years as a student, in which I explored and discovered many of Hogwarts' secrets. Though naturally as a member of staff I was granted greater access within its walls. There is another potions lab, my personal lab that is connected to my office and the classroom lab, yet no one save myself and the Headmistress is able to enter. I…know that while you spent your summer here creating your antidote, you stayed in my rooms," he said, his eyes glinting angrily, showing her exactly how he felt about that. "The wall between the fireplace and the entrance from my private office is also a doorway to a passage that connects to several others. One such passage leads to the door that I use to enter this third floor corridor without being seen," he stated.
Hermione tried to lessen her smile as she watched a nerve tick a few times below his eye, knowing it must be costing him a lot to not only ask her to help him in his personal work, but give her access to his private rooms and lab so that she could. "Sir, I very much appreciate this opportunity and I know it will not ideal for you, with me being around. I understand that I am overly curious and have annoyed you with my eagerness over the years. I promise that I will try to reign myself in so that I don't…annoy you as much," she avowed, looking at her clasped hands, avoiding the stern look on his face.
After several moments of silence Professor Snape let out an aggravated sigh. "Very well, but before I even show you the way through the passageways, I need you to look these over. The Arithmancy formulas I highly doubt you will be able to comprehend, but I want you to study them and I will quiz you to see how much you understand. The ingredients, as you will find, are some of the most dangerous and delicate ingredients that I have in my lab, all of which will be used at one point or another in my work. Read the list, study their descriptions, what they can and cannot be mixed with and all the other details you might find about them in the books supplied on your shelves. I will give you one week to do all this and prove that you will be of help in my work. You have to know those ingredients inside out before I will let you set foot in the laboratory," he said, looking hard at her as she nodded.
"The list is of my varying schedule for the entire year, which, if you prove worthy of being my assistant, you will have to work around. If this works out, each evening you will be given the first through fourth year homework to grade before morning classes, which will require you to adjust your sleeping hours dramatically. But I am getting ahead of the situation here, as you need to look these over. One week, Miss Granger," he said, standing and making his way to the door. He stopped and looked back at her. "It is Monday, so I will be back here next Monday evening at eight; we will go on a walk to gather ingredients and I will quiz you. Be ready," he said, and he left, snapping the door shut a bit forcibly.
Hermione looked at the complicated and challenging work in front of her and smiled as she picked it all up, determined to get started right away at her desk. He is trying to be civil, in his own way, she thought happily.
A/N: Wow... that original chapter was around three thousand words... now it's around 4,700 lol. I actually cut out half of this chapter and rewrote most of it, obviously adding a lot lol. Now I need to look at the next chapter I had written and see what is usable. I do hope you enjoy and please read and review!