Author's Note: *runs and hides* I know, I knowwww! Super super late update! I'M SORRY! :( But uh, there's sappy stuff in here? Does that make up for it? Well...some sappy stuff and then something you guys would probably hate but ha, uh yeah. And I'm sorry it's super short. Keep the amazing reviews coming! :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one associated with BTR. If I did...well, I'll leave that up to your imagination.

Chapter 10

"I'm scared," are the first words out of James's mouth when he finds Logan sitting behind his desk, head in his hands. He doesn't know what gave him the will to go and find Logan, and finally admit to that, but he's done it and he can't take it back. The words have been said, and he's sure that they are the words Logan has been waiting to hear all day, or maybe even for four years.

"I knew that already," Logan sighs.

Huffing, James flops down onto the loveseat in the corner of the room. He rubs a hand over his face, suddenly tired beyond belief. It has been one of the most stressful days of his life and he would give anything to just be able to snap his fingers and have everything be better.

"James," Logan starts, "you don't have to tell me you're scared. You don't have to explain anything to me."

James abruptly sits upright. "Explain anything? Logan—" He huffs, again, this time in annoyance. "Logan, I do have to explain. This entire day has been pretty stressful, for the both of us, and it shouldn't have to be."

There's a moment of silence in which James thinks Logan is going to get up and leave, probably decide they shouldn't be friends anymore. But then Logan is sighing and getting up to come sit next to James. "So what are you so afraid of?" And it's such a simple question but it has James getting all flustered and frustrated and just—

"I'm scared that we aren't going to be where we used to be," he admits. "I'm scared that everything that has ever happened between us—good and bad—is going to just disappear and I'll never have you in my life again." James sucks his bottom lip between his teeth to stop the sudden tears that are threatening to ruin his composure. He's held it together all day. Why should now be any different?

Logan takes one of James's hands in his own. He holds it, palm up, and stares at the lines, tracing them with a finger as he does so. An involuntary shiver races down James's spine at the simple motion. It's so Logan that he wants to almost cry or pitch a fit that would make a five year old happy. Why can't he have something so simple?

"James, I—" Logan pauses, dropping James's hand. James almost tells him to do it again, keep tracing the palm of his hand, but he doesn't. "You're never not going to have me in your life."

It's such a sweet reply that James does cry.

A beam of sunlight hits him in the eyes the moment James wakes. He stretches and yawns, throws an arm over his eyes to block out the light. When he tries to shift around into a more comfortable position he finds that it's almost impossible to move. Confused, he looks down and right into messy brown hair.

His heart does a somersault. He freezes and it's suddenly hard to breathe as the events of last night come rushing back in the form of a pounding headache. He squeezes his eyes shut, tries to take a deep breath. But it's not working.

He made out with his drunk best friend. He had sex with Logan. James is positive that he could be having a heart attack right now. So he closes eyes and just tries to breathe and calm down. However, that doesn't work very well. The entire night is playing in his mind like a broken record.

The sex was—well, it was sex. It was awkward and they fumbled around, but eventually the clothes came off and it just happened. James thought he knew what he was doing; he thought last night was something he wanted, has been wanting. He's been confused for awhile now when it comes to his sexuality and trying to figure out who he really is. Then Logan happened and sex happened and his mind is one jumbled up mess of confusion.

James groans. The noise makes Logan shift in his sleep. It's then that James realizes they're both still naked and Logan is practically wrapped around him; one arm draped across his chest and both legs wrapped around his own. Swearing softly, James tries to maneuver his way out of Logan's grip.

He eventually manages to get Logan to hug a pillow. And if Logan looks absolutely adorable hugging the pillow, hair mussed up in fifty different directions, cheeks tinted pink, then James doesn't notice. He sighs and shoves a hand in his hair, grimacing at how gross it feels. He sits on the edge of the bed, cradling his head in his hands. What has he done?

He should wake Logan up so they can talk about this. But he doesn't want to do that. Talking about it would make it even more real, talking about it would mean that he, James Diamond, had sex with his best friend. Logan mumbles something in his sleep. James tries not to crawl back under the covers and wrap himself around Logan and go back to sleep.

With a heavy sigh, James gets up and searches for his clothes. When he's dressed and semi-presentable he makes sure he has everything before leaving the room. He doesn't look back until he's in the hallway and he doesn't think twice about leaving. He just leaves.

And, as he waits for the elevator with a heavy heart, he tries to believe that he's doing the right thing.

After a few minutes James eventually calms down enough to pull Logan into a hug. It's kind of awkward with both of them sitting, but he manages to shove his face into the junction between Logan's neck and shoulder, and just breathe. The events of the day have really caught up with him; he can't take much more of this.

Logan pats his back awkwardly. James huffs out a laugh. "What're you laughing at?" Logan grumbles.

"You. You never were the cuddly type," James says softly. "Except for when you get drunk. Then you're very cuddly."

Logan groans loudly. "Shut up, James. That was only a couple of times." James laughs again and pulls away from the embrace. He swipes a hand across his eyes to make sure there's no more tears.

"Can I ask you something?"

Logan sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Sure. Go for it." He smiles. James's heart does a little flip.

He opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by the power flickering. In a second the lights are back on. The heating unit kicks on a few seconds later and James hears Logan's sigh of relief. Logan gets up, heading straight for the phone to see if it's working. James watches as Logan puts the phone to his ear, then lets out another relieved sigh before quickly dialing a number.

"Kendall, it's Logan. Can you hear me?"

James hesitates before deciding to get up and leave the room. He can ask Logan everything he wants to ask later. They have time.

They have plenty of time. James is sure of it.