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"Who the hell let the old grannies in?" Naruto asked, beginning to feel paranoid under the oldest woman's gaze.
"Who the hell let your monkey-lookin' ass in?" the oldest woman snapped.
"Who the hell are you?" Naruto screamed, feeling slightly offended at the insult.
"My names Sophia," she responded. "This is my son - I mean, daughter Dorothy."
Dorothy rolled her eyes, wanting to smack the wig off her old-ass mother. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Uzumaki."
"Wait, how do you know my last name?" Naruto asked.
"Because, Naruto..." Dorothy begun. "We are here to exterminate you under the request of Devon."
Dorothy pulled a pistol out of her bra and aimed it at Naruto. Dorothy's plump red lips twitched up into a sadistic smirk.
"Wait, Dorothy! Please don't kill the deformed little faggot!" Rose piped up from behind her, trying to smack the gun out her hand.
Rose, like a dipshit she is, slaps the gun out of Dorothy's hand, and the gun falls out, but the weapon discharges a bullet which heads directly for Chingy's head.
"Chingy!" screamed Eminem. "You old saggy titty bitches!"
"Oh shut the fuck up, punk!" yelled sophia, who flashed Eminem.
"Oh my god! I'm blind!" the rapper screamed loudly.
Naruto stood there like a lil nigga.
Sasuke kept standing there, fingering his asshole and thinking that he may have to take a shit.
Naruto kept wishing that it was his 9 inch inside Sasuke's tight anus, much like the way Steve did when he fucked Blue on that unrated episode.
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~flashback~
It was one fine Wednesday morning and Naruto was bored as a mothafucka who just came out of school. Naruto went into the sitting room and sat on the couch, when all of a sudden he felt something hard hit his ass."Ouch!" he screamed. "I hope Sasuke isn't that rough when he gets my tight, crusty asshole."
He pulled out the cushion and saw that his black didlo-shaped bong was there. "So THAT'S where I put it!" exclaimed Naruto, and, surprisingly, there was still a little bit of weed left. "Oh, score!" He pulled out his lighter and lit his bong, inhaling the wonderful taste of that blueberry yum-yum. He only took one puff and he realized that he had already smoked all the weed. "Dammit!" he yelled.
Naruto threw his bong out the window and it hit a black tabby cat. He had seen this cat around often, and it was a real bitch. He had given her the name Abby, because when he was high, he used to chant Abby Tabby like a misbehaved 4 year old.
Abby screeched and she yelled "I'll fuck you up, nigga!"
Naruto poked his head out the window and said "Oh Yeah? Well, what the fuck are you gonna do, you black nigga titty ho bitch?"
Abby threw a rock and it hit the tip of Naruto's nose. "You dush!" he screamed, and slammed the window shut.
The door of their house opened and it showed Steve wearing a gimp suit.
"What the fuck!" screamed Naruto, filled with shock.
"Today" began Steve, "we're gonna forget Blue's Clues and do something out of the ordinary. I'm gonna rape Blue."
Naruto gasped. "He's gonna fuck that fucking weird-ass dog? Who's animated? How the FUCK is that possible?"
Naurto saw Steve in a jump-suit.
Steve grabbed blue by her floppy ears and dragged her into his bedroom. He threw Blue by her ears and she hit the ceiling fan, breaking on contact.
Naruto was speechless, how Steve could do something that fucked up?
Steve then begun to have a feeling inside his ass; it felt good and wet. His lips curved upwards into a sadistic smile as he imagined cherry blossoms falling around him. Blue could only watch as Steve hovered over her, waiting for what was gonna happen. She was in the evil clutches of Steve.
Steve then squatted in front of Blue, pulling down his pants, showing his pale, lucious booty. Blue's eyes widened in fear once she realized what was gonna happen to her. Steve begun taking a huge shit on the little blue dog. Blue could do nothing but scream as dookie coated her blue furr. The dookie smelt horrible. Naruto looked closer and discovered that the dookie had corn, worms, and even birds inside Steve's dookie.
"What the fuck? You eat BIRDS?" Naruto bellowed in horror.
Steve ignored the blonde boy, and continued taking a dump on the puppy. Blue suddenly felt a disturbing feeling within her... She felt the need to fart. Blue let out a tiny fart, earning a chuckle from Steve. Some of Steve's shit fell inside of Blue's ear! She whimpered and squirmed as she felt the worms devour her brain.
She twitched one final time before she died, her eyes closing softly. It was too late.
Naruto could only watch, mouth gaping like a fish out of water.
Steve turned around, and his eyes met the dead body of his once beloved pet. His eyes were filled with sadistic pleasure. He enjoyed the sight of his dog dead. He didn't know why, but he got an excitment out of killing things that were dear to him. He loved the pain, he loved the blood, the loved the smell of her dead corpse. One thing was missing, though... Steve couldn't put a finger on it.
He felt the need to connect with her. Literally. Steve giggled like a little school girl once he realized he has yet to fuck her. He pulled his 2 inch penis out of his pants, and began mercilessly fucking Blue's dead body. He slid in and out her, grunting once he finished. It wasn't until then he remembered the blonde boy was watching. His eyes met the blonde's before smirking.
Naruto's eyes stayed faxiated upon Steve's. He wasn't quite sure what to do. For fuck's sake, he just witnessed a dog getting shitted on, killed, and raped! His lips quivered as tears threatened to fall. The blonde's eyes slowly trailed down to where the dog's dead corpse was. "How... how could you?" Naruto bellowed, falling to his knees.
"I couldn't help myself." Steve stated emotionlessly.
Naruto trembled as Steve walked past him, leaving the room. Naruto vowed to get revenge upon Steve. One day... one day...
One day...
~end flashback~
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Sasuke nudged Naruto in the shoulder, breaking him out of his trance.
"Are you okay?" Sasuke asked, raising a brow.
"Yeah, I was just thinking about... something..." Naruto trailed off.
"About my dick?" Eminem piped up from behind them, wearing glasses over his blinded eyes.
"What the fuck? No! I don't want your small dick, Feminem." Naruto said angrily, slapping the glasses off Eminem's face, knocking him backwards into the 50% off bin. Sasuke looked mortified, covering his mouth with his hands like a true faggot.
Eminem was stunned. No one in his life as ever pushed him. Except back in middle school, when he got his ass beat every single day by some Mexican dude named Deangelo Bailey. (AN: No lie. He really did. Don't believe me? Search the song called "Brain Damage.")
"Bitch, I'ma kill you! Just you wait 'til I find my glock!" Eminem bellowed, his firey temper getting the best of him. His face got really red, and he huffed angrily. Eminem tried standing to his feet, but failed, falling to the floor, knocking over a shelf of perfume.
Sophia laughed so hard at the white rapper's unfortunate events, that her dentures flew out and hit Sasuke in the eye!
"Ow, damnit you old bitch!" Sasuke cursed in pain, covering his eye with his hand to stop the bleeding.
"Oh my God!" Naruto said very gayishly, kneeling next to Sasuke. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, yeah... I'm fine, faggot."
Naruto huffed in annoyance at Sasuke's behavior. But, he was willing to put up with it. Naruto wanted to become Sasuke's dirty little house wife. He'd wash his clothes, clean his dishes, sweep the floor, comb his hair, clean up his un-godly shit everytime Sasuke took a shit on the coffee table. Yeah, he'd always be there for Sasuke Uchiha. He'd swear by it!
Naruto heard the door to Victoria's Secret open, making a soft "bing" noise. He turned to see who had entered the store. He saw an old woman who looked like she could be in her late 70's, followed by 3 children. She was an old black lady, holding the hand of a little bald boy with a peanut-shaped head with big-ass sneakers. Behind her followed a boy of about 11 years of age with dread locks. Not like Bob Marely dreadlocks, but pretty damn close. Then an older girl trailed after the boy. She was about 13 years of age, with her hair in some funky-ass balls.
"Grandma, why are we in a store filled with panties and bras?" said the girl in her ghetto-fabulous voice.
"Because, baby, granny needs to find some g-strings to impress grandpa." the old woman said, giving a light chuckle.
"But... granny, grandpa has been dead for 5 years!" the girl said.
"I know, honey." was all the old woman said in response.
The little girl blinked in confusion before turning to the little boy with the peanut-shaped head. "Lil Bill, keep yo' bald-ass in front of the store. I'm gonna go flirt with the cashier in the back and perhaps we can get illegally married in Mexico."
"I wouldn't marry yo' ugly ass." Lil Bill stated.
"What the hell does that gotta do with anything? I wouldn't wanna marry yo' bald-head ass either!"
"See, I got hair..." Lil Bill said, pointing to a tiny hair behind his earr.
"No you don't!" the girl fired back.
"You look like one of the X-Men." Lil Bill said, snapping his fingers in a very gay way.
His sister only blinked in confusion.
"You're so ugly you look like you got super-powers. You got super-powers, April?" Lil Bill said, his big ashy lips glistening.
The girl that was apparently named April could only scoff at her brother's stupidity. "You've done lost your motherfucking mind in real-life!"
"Shut up, little niglets!" their grandmother yelled, beginning to slap Lil Bill into the floor.
Naruto decided it was time to intervine. He walked over to the old lady, pulling her away from the little peanut-looking mothafucka that was laying on the floor, embarassed by his grandmother's antics.
"Whoa, lady! Calm down! They're just little kids!" Naruto reasoned, setting the old lady down.
"You're right, honey. I'm so sorry for actin' like a fool in public. My name is Alice the Great. What's yours?" she said with a smile, extending her hand towards the blonde.
"Uhm, hi Alice. My name's Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki..." the blonde said, taking the extended hand.
"This here is my granddaughter April," she said, pointing to the chubby little girl wearing the pink over-alls. "-and that is my grandson Bobby," she motioned to the boy with the dread-locks, "-and the little boy with the peanut head is Lil Bill."
"Lil Bill?" Naruto said, snickering.
"Yeah, nigga. You gotta problem?" Lil Bill screamed angrily, his buck-ass teeth visible.
"Yeah, I DO gotta problem. Your name is fucking hilarious." Naruto fell backwards laughing so hard that he farted extremely loud, causing him to shit his pants. Naruto immediately stopped laughing, his cheeks flushed with embarassment. He sat up slowly, feeling extremely embarassed.
"U-Um... that wasn't... that wasn't what you thought it was... I swear..." Naruto stuttered.
"Dayyyyum! That shit stanks!" Alice the Great bellowed as she pinched her nose, trying to avoid the stench of Naruto's un-godly ass.
"T-That wasn't me!" Naruto whined, tears forming at the corner of his eyes.
"Yeah, it was, you faggot! Karma's a bitch, ain't it?" Lil Bill screeched, giving him the birdie.
Naruto was about to give a reply when suddenly the front door opened, revealing that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were back! Naruto arched a brow as they approached them, eyeing the little boy with the peanut-shaped head.
"Why are you guys back?" Naruto asked.
"We are back because... wait... wait, what the fuck is that smell?" Donatello said, covering his nose, nearly gagging.
"Alice the Great took a shit in her drawers!" Naruto lied, pointing to the old lady who was diddling Bobby's ass while no one was looking. She jumped as everyone's attention was directed towards her, quickly pulling her finger out of his round, juicy, tight ass.
"Uhm... no I didn't!" Alice the Great said, her voice suddenly very ghetto.
"Yeah, you did, old-ass nigga!" Naruto screeched, wanting to slap the damn wig off that old-ass woman.
"Whatever! Anyway, we came for the little peanut-looking niglet..." Donatello said, smirking at the little boy with the big sneakers.
"W-Why do you want me?" Lil Bill asked, suddenly scared for his anus.
"Because... we find you very irresistable and we need you in our life..." Donatello said, speaking for the rest of the turtle group who inwardly agreed.
Leonardo scooped the peanut-head in his arms and dashed out of Victoria's Secret.
"Lil Bill! Noooo! Someone save him!" Alice the Great pleaded with the people around her.
Naruto piped up all hero-like from behind Alice the Great, "Don't worry, old lady. I'll save him!"
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AN: I'm black. So don't call me a racist, pleeze. I'm just laughing at myself. It's good to do so once in awhile. I don't own Naruto, Little Bill, The Golden Girls, TMNT or Blue's Clues.