Monday morning

The next morning, Jack headed for the kitchen at about 0600 to start the coffee. He hadn't been surprised to see that the guest bedroom was empty. How long it had been empty, however, was the real question. They had gone to bed about ten the night before after a silent, but companionable dinner watching the end of the game. He had slept well for the first time in a week, and hadn't heard any sounds of distress from Daniel's room.

He glanced around the living room and didn't see any sign of his friend. It was still rather dark outside, so he thought he had a pretty good idea where he was. After the coffee was finished, he poured two cups and pulled on a jacket, heading outside. There were still a few stars visible in the early morning sky. He was not surprised to find Daniel sitting up on the roof, head back against the chair, staring up into the blackness.

"Coffee." He said, having made the rather challenging climb up the ladder with two mugs gripped in one hand.

Daniel reacted as if he'd been shot. Obviously he'd been a million miles away. Or however far exactly Abydos was, Jack thought.

"Sorry." He said softly.

Taking a deep breath, Daniel rubbed his eyes and accepted the coffee wordlessly.

Jack sat down in the other chair and sipped the steaming coffee, looking up at the breaking dawn. They sat in silence for almost twenty minutes. Jack found himself subtly trying to sneak glances to see how Daniel was doing this morning. From what he saw, it looked like Daniel had gotten about as much sleep last night as he had been getting every other night this week. Insomnia was nothing new to either of them. They finished their coffee, still in silence, until Jack finally decided to break the silence and head in to get breakfast.

Sliding forward, he said, "I'm gonna start breakfast."

Daniel nodded, glancing at him briefly, not moving from where he was slumped in his chair. Jack didn't say anything more, but headed down the ladder. He knew Daniel wouldn't move until he was ready. He headed inside to start some eggs and bacon.

Daniel sighed after Jack had gone back inside. Somewhere, deep down in the darkest, most secret place in his heart and mind, he had always known he wasn't going to get Sha're back alive. It was his worst nightmare, but it had also been the logical outcome as much as he hated himself for thinking it. He had known the chances were basically nonexistent.

So why was it so hard now that it had actually happened?

That was what didn't make a lot of sense. He'd been subconsciously preparing himself for this for almost three years. So why was he having so much trouble accepting it and moving on? He focused on the ripples of pink and orange in the dawn. He'd been without his wife for longer than he'd been with his wife. It didn't make sense that his grief should be so disproportionately debilitating. He had absolutely no idea what to do with himself. He didn't want to talk, didn't even really want to work. And he couldn't sleep. He'd laid awake for several hours before dozing off to a troubled sleep. He finally gave up and had been sitting under the stars since about 0300. He hoped Jack didn't know exactly how long he'd been up. He rubbed his eyes again and decided he'd better head inside. He really did want to get to the safety of his office. A safe place to bury himself in as much work as he could find. As quickly as he could find it. He headed down the ladder and inside, feeling achy and sore all over. His head was already starting to pound.

Jack was pulling the juice out of the refrigerator when he heard the front door open. He looked up in time to see Daniel stumble and drop heavily into a chair at the table. His head went down on his arms on the table immediately. If Jack didn't know exactly how bad that meant Daniel was feeling, he would have laughed at the sight that was suddenly becoming commonplace. Instead, he just felt more than a little depressed. He brought out the plates of food and sat down across from Daniel.

After a moment, Daniel picked up his head and accepted the plate Jack gently pushed his way. They ate in silence, Jack correctly feeling that Daniel was not at all looking for conversation this morning. An hour later, still without any conversation, they walked into the SCG. Hitting the buttons for the level that Sam's lab was on, as well as the one for Daniel's lab, Jack leaned back against the wall, trying to think of something to say. The silence was starting to drive him crazy.

When the door opened at his floor, Daniel said simply, "Thanks."

"You bet." Jack watched him make his way slowly toward his lab. Mentally, Jack wrote himself a note to come back in time to drag him to lunch. He rubbed his head as the elevator moved to Sam's level.

He headed down the hall and paused at her door. She had safety glasses on and was doing something that shot sparks all over. He waited till she was done, then said, "Carter."

She looked up and smiled, "Morning sir."

"Whatcha doing?"

"Trying to refine the power generating capabilities on this transphase eradicator rod."

"Ah." He nodded, then suggested, "Bigger and better?"

"More like faster and more powerful."

"Excellent."

She stepped around the desk and pulled off her glasses. He knew she was done with the simple pleasantries. "How was he this morning?"

"Hard to say for sure, Carter. He said one word to me all morning. I don't think he slept very much at all. He did eat a bit for breakfast though."

Sam nodded. "You think he's ok?"

"Not really. I'm gonna make sure I grab him when we head to lunch…I think he needed some time on his own for now."

Sam studied him for a moment. "He's here?

"Yes."

"What…why?" Sam was more than a bit confused and concerned.

Jack sat down heavily on a stool. "He said he needed to do something, get busy and stop thinking. I didn't really want him to come…he still looks half dead…but if you'd heard him last night, and seen his face…"

"He really needs this."

"Yes."

Sam nodded. "Ok. So lunch then? Eleven?"

"Perfect. I'm gonna hunt up T." Jack headed for the door. "I wonder if he'll teach Bra'tac to bake brownies?"

He heard Sam's snicker as he left the lab.

Sam took a deep breath as she neared Daniel's office. The Colonel had been pulled into what looked to be a very long string of meetings. Teal'c was training a new set of recruits. It was just after eleven and she was ready to grab lunch. She was more than a little nervous heading in to see Daniel. She wasn't unaccustomed to grief, but it certainly wasn't something she was altogether comfortable with. And as close as she felt to Daniel, she wasn't really sure how to help him.

She gave a perfunctory knock on the open door, but went in without waiting for a reply. She found Daniel sitting at his desk, holding his head, his glasses discarded on the desk. She walked over and touched his arm. "Daniel?"

He looked awful. He didn't move, but he finally whispered, "Sam."

She said softly, "Are you alright?"

"No."

Sam was shocked at the response and felt fear twist her gut. If he was admitting he wasn't alright, that meant something was very far wrong. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

She sat down across from him. "Daniel, you just said you weren't alright. Still have a headache?"

"Yes."

"Should I get Janet?" Reaching out to touch his arm, she said softly, "Is it worse than before?"

"About the same." He whispered. He wished she hadn't come. He'd buried himself in some reorganizing of files that tended to become sadly neglected. That had worked for about an hour until his head started threatening to explode again. He'd just been sitting quietly for the past two hours or so hoping the pain would recede a bit. It hadn't really helped. He hated that everyone was so worried about him. He just wanted to be left alone long enough to neatly bury everything.

Sam was still sitting quietly, waiting. He knew she was trying hard to help, they all were. He put his glasses back on and forced himself to sit up and look at her. He couldn't manage a smile, but said, "I'll be ok."

Sam nodded, "You will be, but there's no reason you need to sit here and suffer." She didn't want to seem harsh, but she knew he needed a gentle push. "Daniel, you've got a migraine. Janet can help. You just need to let her, and get some more rest."

He looked away. "I know."

"So."

Taking a deep breath, not even sure if he felt up to the trek to the infirmary, he said, "Ok."

"Thank you." She said seriously, standing up. She felt greatly relieved that he was willing to go. They made their way slowly and silently to the infirmary. Once they reached Janet's domain, Daniel went straight to the most convenient bed and immediately lay down. Sam waved over the nurse on duty and softly explained the situation.

"Dr. Frasier left some orders in his chart in case he came in." Gina said, "I can give him an something for the migraine and for the nausea. Janet is in surgery right now, but she'll be back here in a bit."

"Thanks, Gina." Sam smiled as the nurse hurried to get the medications.

Janet was only slightly surprised to hear crying from her office and the sound of tissues being pulled violently from the box. She closed the door behind her as she entered. "Sam." She said softly.

"Janet." Sam sniffed, wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Janet sat on the edge of her desk and smiled. "Gina told me what's going on. I just checked and he's still sleeping."

Sam nodded, "He's been out for about an hour now."

"I wasn't expecting to see him today." Janet said.

Sam shrugged, "He told the Colonel he had to get back to work, to stop thinking about it."

"Well, I can certainly understand." Janet blew out a puff of air, trying to get a stray hair out of her eyes. "But he's not ready to be stressing himself out like this. He needs to lay low and get as much rest as he can for the next week or so. He is recovering from a very serious head injury."

Sam smiled briefly, "I know that, you know that, and Colonel O'Neill knows that…but getting Daniel to cooperate is something else entirely."

"Well, maybe this will help him see he needs to take a little more time." Janet rubbed her eyes. "You want to get lunch, Sam?"

"Yeah, actually I do." Sam stood up. "I'm really not looking forward to telling the Colonel about this."

Janet smiled. "Just do it quickly and get out of the way…and you'll be fine. Daniel will be the one who's going to be in trouble!"

Jack sighed for the thousandth time and glanced at the clock meaningfully. It was after seven. This training session/debriefing for all SG team leaders had taken all day! Good thing he'd made sure to have Carter on Daniel watch. She'd promised to even take him home by 2 if Jack wasn't out of the meeting. So at least that was one less thing for him to worry about. At last, the meeting was adjourned and he stood up stiffly and headed for the most convenient door.

He wasn't expecting to see Sam standing there waiting for him. "Carter."

"Colonel." She answered back.

"Daniel home?"

She hesitated. He narrowed his eyes, "You look suspiciously like someone who has something unpleasant to say. Spit it out."

"He's in the infirmary, sir."

"He's what! Why? What happened?" He took off at a steady pace toward the elevators, Sam nipping at his heels. A thousand thoughts were running through his mind, none of them good. What could have happened?

"Sir, it's ok. He's ok. His migraine flared up and he agreed to see Janet." She said breathlessly as they came to a stop in front of the elevator.

He hit the button, then turned to look at her, "That bad?"

"Yes, sir. He was miserable. He's been sleeping since about noon. Teal'c is with him now."

The door slid open and they went in, Jack feeling the knot in his stomach unclench somewhat. "At least he's sleeping."

"Yes, sir."

"I knew he shouldn't come in today."

"Of course, sir. But I think that Daniel wouldn't have seen it or accepted it if he hadn't gone through this. He's stubborn."

"Too stubborn for his own good." Jack growled slightly.

"Sir." Sam started softly.

"Relax, Carter." Jack smiled tiredly, "I'm not going to chew him out about it. He's suffered enough."

She smiled back and nodded.

They ran into Janet in the hall outside the infirmary. She smiled, "Hello, Sam, Colonel."

"How is he, doc?"

"Better. He slept most of the afternoon and evening. He just woke up about twenty minutes ago and informed me unequivocally that he was leaving as soon as you arrived, Colonel."

"Ah." Jack raised his eyebrows and nodded. "So you gonna release him?"

"Yes. As long as I don't clap eyes on him in this mountain for another week." Janet nodded.

"Ah." Jack repeated, "And did you tell him that in unequivocal terms?" He waved his finger, "Cuz otherwise I see arguments in my future."

Janet smiled magnanimously and Jack felt a slight chill thinking she really must have been a dictator in a past life. She said, "Oh, I don't think there will be any arguments, sir." Jack swore he felt the temperature drop by ten degrees from the menacing tone in her voice. "Daniel and I had a long talk a few minutes ago. Meaning I talked and he listened. He was amazingly agreeable. He will not give you any trouble and he will not be coming back to the SGC until next Monday at the earliest. He is to do nothing but rest and try to sleep for the rest of the week. I have instructions and a new pile of meds for you to take with you. I can drop by after work on my way home a few times this week if needed to check on him. Any questions?"

"No, ma'am." Jack felt like he needed to salute…or beg for mercy.

"Ok then. You may go in and get him out of here. Call me if you have any concerns." She reshuffled the files in her arms and continued down the hallway.

Jack shook his head, "She must have taken a class on intimidation in med school."

Sam snickered.

"I mean it. I need her to teach me some tricks for dealing with Daniel."

They headed into the infirmary. Teal'c rose from where he had been sitting next to Daniel's bed as they entered. He said softly, "Was your meeting a valuable one, O'Neill?"

"Oh you could say so." Jack shook his head, keeping his voice low. He studied Daniel and took Teal'c's seat.

Daniel had his eyes closed and was laying back against the pillow, the head of the bed up a bit. The dark circles under his eyes were beginning to seem like they were going to be permanent. He was pale and looked exhausted. Jack said softly, "Hey."

"Jack."

"How are you doing?"

"Fine."

Jack exchanged knowing looks with Sam and Teal'c. "You want to get out of here?"

"Yes."

"Ok."

Daniel slowly slid his legs over the edge of the bed and dragged himself to a sitting position. Jack could have sworn he lost what very little color had been in his face as he sat up. Sam practically jumped onto the bed to throw a steadying hand around Daniel's shoulders as he swayed. Jack stood to his other side, ready to catch him if he went over any farther. After a moment, Daniel very slowly and shakily stood up. Jack noticed he still hadn't opened his eyes.

"Ready?"

"Yes." Daniel forced his eyes open. The dim light was painful and he instantly put his hand to his eyes.

Jack grabbed his sunglasses from his pocket and nudged Daniel's arm. "Here."

Daniel took them with a badly shaking hand but didn't reply.

The drive was very quiet. Jack felt exhausted and tense. He glanced over at Daniel who had slumped against the door as soon as he'd gotten into the truck. He still had the sunglasses on and Jack suddenly realized no one had thought to grab his glasses out of the infirmary before they left. Oh well. He shouldn't be needing them if he was going to be doing as much sleeping as Janet intended him to be doing.

A few minutes later, he pulled into his driveway. Turning off the truck, Jack paused a moment. There was no movement from beside him. Finally, he said softly, "Daniel."

"Hm?" was the mumbled response.

"We're here."

Daniel pushed himself off the door with effort and rubbed his eyes, knocking the sunglasses. He pulled them off and looked at them in total surprise. "What?"

Jack smiled, "It was bright earlier. How's your head?"

"It's killing me."

"Looks like it does. Come on, let's go in."

Jack was around the truck and waiting for Daniel by the time he got the door opened. Jack shook his head to himself. He still looked like he was ½ dead and he was a lot less steady than he had been when they'd gone in earlier. A guiding hand under his elbow, Jack led Daniel to the door. Once inside, Jack was ready to head to the spare room, but Daniel broke away and went straight to the couch. Jack kept his mouth shut watching as Daniel lay down, rolled over onto his stomach, and pulled the pillow over his head.

Jack headed for the kitchen. Surely, there were some leftovers in a dark corner somewhere. He made himself a makeshift, late dinner and slipped out to the living room, quietly sitting down in his armchair. He didn't turn on a light and didn't bother with the television. He had a feeling that Daniel didn't really want to be alone which was why he'd headed for the couch versus the bedroom. But he also felt that a silent companionship was the best thing to offer at this point.

He had just finished his dinner and was considering what to do next. He was more tired than he ought to be. Yawning, he rubbed his eyes. He considered flicking the television on but hated to do so knowing how bad Daniel's head was hurting. So he sat back and decided to take a nap. He hadn't been quiet for long before he heard a very soft voice.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?" he opened his eyes and looked over at the couch. Daniel had pushed the pillow off his head, but he was still lying down on the couch, eyes closed. He looked a little more relaxed than earlier.

"Did Janet send any medicine?"

"Yes." Jack said. He headed for the kitchen and grabbed the pill bottle from the counter and a bottle of water from the fridge before walking over and sitting on the coffee table. "Bad?"

"Bad enough." He forced his eyes open and looked at Jack. "I'm sorry."

Jack frowned, "For what?"

"For being such an idiot. I shouldn't have gone in today."

"No, you shouldn't have. But that doesn't mean you're an idiot, Daniel. It means you needed to do something. I understand. I'm sorry you're feeling so rotten. Here."

Daniel didn't seem inclined to move at all, so Jack pushed the pill into his hand, and then handed him the water bottle. Daniel barely lifted his head. "I should go home."

Jack snorted. "You can't even lift your head to take a drink. What you need to do is sleep."

Daniel closed his eyes. "I slept earlier."

"You were drugged."

"Your point?"

"You need more than a few hours."

"I know."

"Why don't you go to bed."

"I'm fine here. I don't want to move."

"You gonna try to sleep?"

"I'll try."

"Want anything else?"

"No. Thanks."

"Ok. I'll be around if you need something. Get some sleep." Jack said, dropping the blanket down over his friend. "Pills and water are on the table here." Turning, he flicked off the lights and headed to the kitchen. He cleaned up his dishes and headed to bed himself. Even though he'd slept well the night before, he could feel the gnawing buildup of sleeplessness from the previous week catching up with him.