shots in the dark

X: Kai
don't be scared, i'm still here

"What's that?" As they round the bend, Kai can see a shabby shack up ahead, the roof covered by a dusting of snow. Kai pulls his jacket tighter, squinting against the wind, and jerks his head in the direction of the shack.

Jinora nods, pursing her lips, and Kai creates a path through the snow for them to reach it, Jinora following close behind. With freezing fingers, Kai pulls the door open, the hinges almost frozen over due to the cold. Kai steps over the threshold and into the shack, shaking the snow off his coat, already feeling relief from the meager shelter it provided from the wind and snow.

Quite a few of the shack's wooden beams, originally support for the roof above them, are lying broken on the floor. Kai knows they'll be useful as makeshift torch since they can't light a fire inside. There's a window with a few cracks in it, but it's still pretty solid, all things considered, and it'll be good to have a view of the outside too.

"It's nice to get out of the cold for once," Jinora notes, snow sprinkled in her hair, which is now almost back to its original length when it was pulled back in the bun. She sheds her coat, dropping it on the creaking wooden floor and sits down on top of it, using it as a sort of cushion. "Your lighter still works?"

Kai fishes the shiny metal box out of his pocket, sliding off his thick gloves. "Just barely." He busies himself with gathering a few of the wooden beams while she unpacks silently. It strikes him for the first time how odd it is they don't have to say a word to each other. He sits back on his haunches, thinking hard. When had they stopped using words? When had they started not needing words?

"Kai," his head whips around to look at Jinora, who looks a little worried, "are you okay?" He realizes he still hasn't lit the fire yet.

"Fine," he replies, flashing her a smile, but he fumbles with the lighter once she turns away from him. Cursing under his breath, he gets the fire started, and soon, the shack is full of warmth and light. He stares into the flames, thinking hard, his heart pounding, barely glancing up when Jinora hands him whatever they're eating for dinner, only to manage give her a silent thanks.

When had they mastered the art of silent communication? This has never happened with anyone else. Why her?

He steals a glance at her, the fire illuminating her face and casting shifting shadows. Her hands are clasped in her lap, which means she's worried. Her brow is furrowed, which means she's lost in thought, her teeth peeking out from under her upper lip and biting down hard on her lower. He wonders what she's worried about. Maybe her nightmares? He just wishes she would tell him, then at least he could offer proper support and help.

He moves over and sits beside her, hoping he can convince her to open up, when she points at the window. "Look."

Kai follows her line of sight to see the stars sparkling, even through the dirty glass of the window. They are bright and beautiful, the only lights in a cloudy sky, the moon absent for the night. "The stars are beautiful tonight," he says, nodding appreciatively.

"I can see some of the constellations," she tells him. "See those stars there, that's a platypus bear. And over there," she cranes her neck in his direction, her fingers lying over his own. Heat rises to his cheeks. "Is Avatar Wan, see?" He forces himself to focus on the stars, spying out the tiny dots that form the traces of a picture thousands of years old.

"I see," he says, smiling at the way her eyes shine in the moonlight. Her hand is still on his. He swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I think I can see... the Lovers of Omashu...?" he guesses.

Jinora removes her hand to tilt her head, squinting to make it out. "It looks like you're right," she yawns, and then flashes him a smile.

"Hey Jin," he begins a few moments later, but then he realizes she's dozed off, still sitting upwards. The poor girl must be exhausted. As a Hunter he had gotten extra training, but she's been shoved right into this with no physical preparation at all.

Kai drags himself to his feet, ignoring how much his body aches, and drapes her sleeping bag carefully over her shoulders. A quiet sigh escapes from her lips. He smiles gently. "Sleep tight Jin," he whispers, looking down at her tenderly.

For a second, he wants to lean down to press a kiss to her forehead, and is halfway there when he realizes what he's doing, straightens up and curses. No. Too close. Much too close.

He sits as far away from her as he can, looking anywhere but at her throughout his night watch shift.

It's the next night when Kai wakes up on his own, the first rays of sunlight hitting his eyes as the sun rises, and he realizes Jinora isn't there. Panic rushes through him as he scrambles to his feet, his hand already closing around his gun. Where the hell is she? Did she leave him? She - she wouldn't leave him. He's sure of it. And her stuff is still here... Then what happened?

Worst case scenarios are running through his mind as he wrenches the door open. There's no time for a coat, and the cold morning air stings at his bare arms. His heart is stuck in his throat, making it harder to breathe. What if she went outside for some reason and zombies got her? What if she's dead? Or Turned? His body's trembling as he scours the snowy trees for a trace of her. What if -?

"Jinora!" he yells desperately, throwing caution to the wind. Vaguely, his mind thinks that if there's Clackers around, he's as good as dead, but it doesn't stop him from calling out again. "JINORA!"

"Kai!" Jinora's voice is coming from behind him, along with the sound of branches breaking. There's some snow in her hair but she's unharmed and waves of relief crash over him as he half-stumbles, half-runs over to her.

"Jinora," he breathes, his voice cracking, and he pulls her into a tight hug, resting his chin on her shoulder and burying his face in her hair. He's still shaking, his heartbeat slowing down gradually. The horrifying images of what could've happened to her are still too fresh in his mind but they're fading away. She's warm and solid, breathing with the gentle rise and fall of her chest against his own, so wonderfully alive. His eyes are prickling with tears.

Slowly, Jinora hugs him back, her slender arms wrapping around his torso, her fingers linking together at the base of his spine. He tightens his grip. "Kai, honestly," she says, sounding dumbfounded, "I'm fine."

"I thought I lost you, I can't lose you." It spills out of him, all raw emotion and fear and relief, but once his brain catches up with him, he withdraws immediately hanging his head and averting his eyes from her face, staring at the snow. He's suddenly aware of how cold he is without a jacket. Snow is falling softly, the wind making the snowy branches sway. The dawn is silent and crisp, and there's a lump in his throat.

"Kai," she says finally, her voice breaking, and he can feel her eyes on him. "Kai - you're - you're not... going to lose me. I..." Her hand, warm and small, drops onto his shoulder, forcing him to face her. "Kai," there's a tinge of sternness in her tone, and Kai manages to meet her eyes. There's a sad smile on her face. "Kai, I'm..." she takes a deep breath. "I'm scared of losing you too."

His eyebrows shoot upwards. She...?

Jinora's smile grows, but there's no humour in it. "That's what my nightmares have been about, these past couple of times. I just didn't want to admit it, but um... it makes sense I guess."

Kai blinks, filing away the information. Her screaming, her tears, and the fear in her eyes... Was for him? His eyes sting. He stares at her wonderingly, unsure exactly how to feel. He feels like he's been doused in cold water, yet a warmth is spreading through him anyway.

"I mean," she's clearly trying to pass it off nonchalantly it, and Kai chooses to pretend to believe it. "You are sorta my best friend." She wets her lips nervously, looking away.

Kai awkwardly pats his hands against his sides for something to do, trying to find the right words. "You're my best friend too," he says finally, smiling a little at her.

She beams at him, and is it his imagination or does she wipe her eyes? He can't really tell, because he's trying to indiscreetly wipe his own. "We should probably get back inside," he says after a while.

"That's probably a good idea," she agrees, and lightly slaps his arm. "You must be freezing." He can see her add it to a list of things she's realized, like how he didn't hesitate to give up personal comfort or his basic wellbeing if he thought she was in danger. She flushes, although her cheeks might be pink just because of the cold.

"Why did you come out here anyway?" he asks as they make the short walk back to the shack.

"I heard a noise," Jinora explains, "thought it might be some Clackers, or Speedsters. We'd need to move right away if it was right, those wooden walls aren't exactly very strong, they could easily be broken down, so... In hindsight, it would have been wise to wake you up, but I know you have trouble falling asleep to begin with and I didn't want to disturb you if it turned out to be nothing."

He takes her by the shoulders, leaning down to her eye level. "Just, promise you'll wake me up next time, okay? I couldn't stand it if - if anything happened to you."

Jinora places her hand over his own, raising her head high. "I will," she promises, giving him a small smile, and it reaches her eyes.

Kai breaks into a grin. "Good, good." He opens the door of the shack. "After you?"

"What a gentleman," Jinora teases, her smile widening.

Kai chuckles. "Just because it's the zombie apocalypse doesn't mean I'm going to abandon all my manners."

"Oh really?"

"You don't have to sound so surprised Jin," he tries to sound annoyed but doesn't quite manage it. He's pleased with the grin on her face, and laughs harder when she snorts, when a thought presses uncomfortably against his heart. "But um, Jinora?"

Jinora's brown eyes flit over to him, boring into his own. Kai has to scrounge up some scraps of his courage to continue, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Expressing his feelings has never been his strong suit. "I just want you to know that... I um, I care about you. Erm, a lot. And I don't want to lose you either. So, um... yeah," he finishes feebly. For a second he thinks Jinora might laugh at him, but then she pulls him into a hug and when she pulls away there's a tender look in her eyes.

"Thank you for telling me Kai," she smiles, her eyes shining with invisible stars, and he thinks for a moment, that everything truly will be okay.