I'm a little shit, I know. There aren't enough apologies in the whole of creation for how sorry I am. Thank you for sticking with me, thank you for reading, following, reviewing, for thinking of this story.

This chapter, I've got mixed feelings about it. I would really love to know your thoughts though.

The obsidian circular blade was spinning hypnotically, sending a humming vibration up her arm. She could feel its strength, pulsating at the tips of her fingers, eager to start biting through tissue and bone, to fulfill its purpose. It was almost as if it had a life of its own, even if only as an extension of her own two hands.

The room was dead silent, the black blade's soft whir the only noise she could hear. She let out a sigh, realizing she had been holding her breath, along with everyone else in the hall.

She hesitated, as she knew she would. "I can't do this," she whispered to the form in front of her, divinely majestic in its defeat. "I cannot do this." Louder this time, directed to no one in particular, although there were dozens of pairs of eyes in the room watching her closely.

"Do you hear me? I WILL NOT DO THIS!" she finally raised her voice, putting down the saw. Nobody moved. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the woman in front of her tensing and turning her head just a fraction of an inch towards her.

"Oh, I assure you, you will." Although in an all-too-familiar voice, the response came from somewhere behind her in a flat, emotionless tone that made her shiver. "Otherwise we'll have to find someone… way less qualified to complete the experiment. With unforeseeable consequences for your… patient, as you can imagine."

She wanted to yell and fight to her last breath, to be reckless and not give up until she'd make them all see how wrong this was. But logic prevailed. That and the soft voice of the Valkyrie telling her once again that everything would be alright. Just do it, Lauren. It's gonna be fine, don't worry.

"Nothing will ever be fine again, Tamsin," she whispered, picking up the saw once again. With one last breath, she brought it to the Valkyrie's wings, watching the blade spin wildly, ever hungrier, tearing through feathers and skin and bone without mercy. She swallowed hard, clenching her jaw, doing her best not to pass out.

But then it started, louder than a siren, more piercing than the sharpest sword, a screeching yell unlike any other sound she'd heard or felt before. And the realization that the source of the terrible blood-curdling wail was the Valkyrie tore through her with such violence that she felt her insides roil and her bones shatter. As if the black blade was cutting through her own flesh and soul.

She woke up to a splitting headache and the muffled sound of voices from the next room. Her head started throbbing violently the moment she attempted to open her eyes, a decision she regretted as soon as the first ray of light hit her retina. Her whole body was feeling sore as if she'd just been through a 10-hour marathon, but all that pain became insignificant and subsided to a nauseating, paralyzing headache the moment she opened her eyes.

A concussion. She was pretty certain it was a big one judging by how her head was feeling. Taking deep, even breaths to avoid a panic attack because of the pain, she kept her eyes shut and tried to calmly assess her situation using her other senses.

It felt like she was in some sort of hospital bed, an IV line stuck into her right arm and the steady beeps of medical machinery next to her bed being the strongest indicators. The air did not smell like a hospital though. The clothes she felt against her skin and the blanket did not feel like standard medical issue accessories either.

How long was I out?

The voices she could hear in the next room went on uninterrupted. She could have sworn one of them was very familiar but the sound of swords clattering and battle yells from the outside made it impossible to tell for sure.

Plucking up courage, she decided to make another attempt to open her eyes. It still hurt like hell but she had to. She was ready. Tamsin wouldn't be afraid, the thought popped up catching her unaware.

Tamsin. Oh dear gods…

Taking another deep breath, she allowed the pain to wash over her, through her until they were one, and in what she considered to be a successful act of mutiny, she pulled her eyes open, grinding her teeth to avoid passing out from the pain.

The room she was in was definitely not in a hospital. It looked more like a cottage, cozy looking furniture and decorations adorning every wall. It was definitely somebody's home, not a sterile hospital room in an equally sterile Fae clinic or prison. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't remember how she had got there and more importantly, where 'there' was.

She vaguely remembered the Valkyrie's yell and the black saw, the smell of blood and burnt tissue, but everything was yet in a haze. She recalled the gas bomb, coming from nowhere, hiding them from the eyes of the other Fae. Unknown soldiers storming the hall, firing at Bo's guards. Chaos breaking loose and amid all that confusion, a guard pointing a gun to her head and barking at her to kill the Valkyrie. The man didn't get to repeat the order before a bullet tore his skull open and he fell face forward, into a lifeless heap at her feet. Behind him stood another one of Bo's guards, face covered completely, gun still in hand. He gave her a quick nod before launching himself back into battle, and the last thing Lauren noticed about him, strangely enough, was his black painted fingernails.

What Lauren remembered quite clearly was the Valkyrie's transformation before the 'experiment.' They had to make sure her wings would stay out during the procedure so she had injected Tamsin with a custom designed drug concoction based on un-inhibitors, to force out the Fae within her. She watched in awe how the transformation began, excruciatingly slowly, as if the Valkyrie was fighting it with every fiber and nerve in her body. She continued watching as Tamsin's jaw hardened in an expression of steel determination, how her slumped shoulders were pulled backwards and her back straightened, almost unwillingly. Her muscles tensed and rippled under her skin, testament to the fierce fight within her, to keep her Valkyrie down, buried deep inside where it would be safe. Where her very essence would not be threatened. The movement was primal and raw, spurred from a pure survival instinct against the foreign drug that spread through her bloodstream, biting and pulling, tearing her apart.

Lauren did not look away as Tamsin's cheekbones contorted and retracted, making room for sharp edges and nothing else but skin and bone, while her green eyes were taken over by darkness, sinking to the back of her head until all that was left was a terrifying mask of death and nothingness.

When her wings shot out her back, arcing magnanimously as if ready to embrace the whole world and Lauren with it, a small gasp escaped the doctor's lips, coming out louder than intended. Perhaps because the whole room had stopped breathing altogether, sharing in Lauren's awe at the magnificent creature before them. For Tamsin's Valkyrie, even forced out, even in hospital garb and strapped to a table; stripped of any semblance of dignity, was still a sight to behold.

It was, without a doubt, the most beautiful thing Lauren had ever seen. It was also the most heartbreaking.

"She is a ticking time bomb, old man. We have to do something before she blows up and takes us all with her!" Uncharacteristically, Evony was pacing nervously around the Blood King, who was fighting a headache of his own and the last thing he needed, really, was the Morrigan on his back.

"I'm perfectly aware of the risks without you constantly nagging me…" he began patiently, yet letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Are you? Need I remind you that she killed one of our own back there? One of our most skilled, experienced commanders? Twisted his neck like a twig!" Evony snapped her fingers demonstratively.

"We still don't know why she did it. I'm sure there must be a perfectly logical explanation…"

"I'm dying to find out what that may be," she threw her hands up in frustration.

"Careful what you wish for, Evony."

"Aren't you a funny little man?" she scoffed. "Fine. Logical explanation or not, there's still something off about her, as if she's… more unhinged. Mind you, she was never one for patience. Nor one for too much logic either, while we're at it. She was all anger and rushing head first into the worst possible decisions. That's what made her such a valuable… asset. With the proper guidance, that anger of hers proved quite a resource."

"I can only imagine."

If Evony noticed the sarcasm lacing Trick's comment she did not show it in any way. "And now, on her last life cycle… everything has been amplified… it's making me all tingly and itchy! There is so much power within her, I can practically taste it."

Trick really doubted that, but he politely refrained from making any comments for fear of not aggravating Evony further by mentioning her recently acquired human status.

"Can you imagine how this war would have turned out if you had an army of Valkyries living their last life? That granddaughter of yours wouldn't have stood a chance!" she sneered.

Trick ignored her, something he had become remarkably proficient at since spending so much time together. "Tamsin is not just any Valkyrie, if that Baal Shem's book is correct," he said quietly.

"Indeed she isn't. I don't know if I should be excited or terrified about seeing her in all her glory once we remove the block. Have you talked to her about any of this yet?" Evony asked, drawing closer to the window to look out at the troops training. Among them, sun shining bright in her hair, stood Tamsin. A sword in each hand, she was sparring with three soldiers at the same time and by the look of it, she was winning without even breaking a sweat.

"I have attempted to, yes. But she has refused to hear me out every time," Trick explained, joining Evony by the window. "She has been refusing to talk to anyone since she got back. All she does is train with the troops, and when she's not doing that, she's taking it out on the punching bag. Well, she's already on her third, actually."

"So she hasn't said anything at all?"

"No, apart from yelling at me for approving the rescue mission," Trick sighed again.

"I know she can be a bit… hotheaded, but she does know that our intervention saved her wings, doesn't she?" Evony said impatiently. "Probably her life as well."

"That's a small comfort given what she has to go through next, don't you think?" Evony shrugged. "Irrespective of that, she is still quite angry, and she claims that they were very close to solving the problem once and for all before we 'butted in and ruined everything.' And that's all. Not another word."

"They?" Evony raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"She and Lauren."

"Interesting…" she hummed.

Before she could continue though, the door opened and a very determined but feeble looking Lauren wobbled inside, trying to walk straight and failing spectacularly.

"Lauren, you're up! You shouldn't be, let's get you back to bed," Trick rushed to her immediately to help keep her up.

"Welcome back, Dr. Lewis," Evony added, in her practiced bored-to-death tone.

"T-trick? Evony?" her voice was coarse and every word seemed to hurt more than the other. "Where am I? Where's Tamsin?"

"Easy, Lauren, you're safe here. You've suffered quite a concussion, I'm afraid. You really shouldn't be up." Trick offered helpfully.

"I'm fine… I think. Monster headache, but it's good to be back." She paused, her eyes darting between Trick and Evony, looking for a sign, anything to let her know everything was fine. She promised everything would be fine. "Tamsin?" she insisted, dreading the answer.

"Oh, she's alright!" Evony cut in before Trick had the chance to reply. "And I'm sure Trick is dying to talk your ears off and that's all very nice, but now that the prodigal daughter has returned and apparently without any irreversible damage, somebody better go tell the enraged Valkyrie in our back yard before she blows the whole place up."

Lauren exhaled a breath she did not know she was holding in, relief washing over her face.

"Do you volunteer?" Trick smirked at Evony.

"Do I have a choice?" she replied dryly and walked out.

It didn't take Trick long to start questioning her about the rescue mission. He spoke fast but measured, as if he was afraid he wouldn't know when to stop.

He seemed to have aged a lot since she'd last seen him, the missing hand and haunted look on his face betraying the hardships he'd suffered since leaving. Lauren always thought that she had it bad, feeling the woman she loved slipping away from her, slowly becoming something else, unrecognizable and terrifying. But seeing Trick like this, almost a shadow of who he once was, made her realize what it must have been like for him to turn against his own blood, against the only family he had left.

An overwhelming feeling of shame washed over her again, shame at having been blind and foolish, shame at all the things she had done at Bo's behest. Shame at what she had done to Tamsin.

She listened to him talking about the rescue operation, about how they couldn't get Kenzi out too because they were cut off by Bo's reinforcements and they had no other choice but to flee. "Well, at least we got the two of you out," Trick said, promising that Kenzi would be safe as she had no involvement or knowledge of the mission. Lauren had the distinct impression that the promise was more to himself than to anyone else.

Her memory of the rescue operation was spotty at best, on account of her having been knocked unconscious pretty early on. But what she remembered very clearly, and what Trick kept on asking her about, was how Tamsin ended up killing one of the officers who were part of the rescue team.

When the Blood King asked, she made a long pause, as if struggling to remember. She didn't have to, she recalled perfectly well how the Fae officer shoved her out of the way in his hurry to get to Tamsin, that he knocked her down and her head bumped violently against the table. Things started to get blurry then, but even so she remembered clearly how the Valkyrie tore through her restraints and jumped off the operating table, in a wild fit of rage. She launched herself at the officer and snapped his neck in one single move, without hesitation. The ultimate punishment for having laid his hands on Lauren. The last two things she remembered before slipping into unconsciousness were the puzzled look on the officer's face as the last flicker of life disappeared from his eyes, and Tamsin's strong arms picking her up and cradling her against her chest.

"I'm sorry Trick, I don't remember anything at all after I bumped my head," she said eventually, in the calm, professional tone she was generally using with patients. She wasn't sure whether he believed her, but he didn't insist, despite the disappointed look on his face, and she was grateful for it.

Tamsin couldn't remember much of what had happened during the rescue mission either. She was already under the effect of anesthesia and the stimulant Lauren had given her, so everything was in a haze. She remembered only vaguely how one guard started shooting the others, and a commando unit seemed to materialize in the middle of the hall out of thin air. That's when all chaos broke loose, smoke bombs and gunfire everywhere, amid angry shouts and the loud sound of metal clashing against metal.

She was still tied to the table, her movements limited, so she could not see much to her left or right. She saw Lauren next to her, shocked into stillness when one guard collapsed dead at her feet. She remembered seeing Bo and Dyson fighting back to back, trying to push against the attackers.

From behind the haze covering her eyes and mind, she remembered a vaguely familiar figure approaching them and then all of a sudden knocking Lauren down. The movement was quick, but violent, and Tamsin cringed when she heard the broken thudding noise the doctor's head made when coming into contact with the metal table.

And that's when she lost it. She tore through her restraints as if they were nothing and flew off the table, her bloodied wings still spread apart behind her, grabbed the man by the throat and without hesitation twisted his head backwards, grinning in satisfaction at the cracking noise it made. It was only later - after the haze was partially lifted by the smell of blood and battle, mixed with the unspeakable pain shooting out from her nearly torn wings, that she realized who that man was. One of the top commanders of her army, a man she herself had trained, and a loyal servant to the Blood King. But back then, adrenaline coursing through her veins, she didn't care. The only thing that mattered was that he had dared to hurt Lauren and he had to pay.

She rushed by the doctor's side and felt panic gripping her every limb when she noticed the blood spilling from her head wound. She roared again, and fought back the panic, a little voice at the back of her head urging her to get moving and take Lauren to safety. So she lifted the woman as gently as possible in her arms and, taking advantage of the general chaos of battle, she retreated quickly under the cover of her rescuers' fire.

Tamsin hadn't actually planned on leaving the compound, she just wanted to leave Lauren with her troops and instruct them to take her back to Trick. She wanted to go back for Kenzi. She wanted to go back and finish Bo, now that their other plan had just been blown to hell by the rescue mission.

But she couldn't. Not because the Succubus had called out reinforcements the size of a small army. Not because she was still drugged and hurt and not sure she could successfully take on a single trained soldier, let alone a whole battalion.

No, the reason she couldn't go back was the woman in her arms. Her face pale and her hair red with blood, Lauren had somehow managed to cling herself so tightly against the Valkyrie's body that there was no way to put her down. So Tamsin just tightened her grip and kept running, only vaguely aware of the other troops retreating and falling into pace around her, forming a protective wall between her and Bo's guards. She wanted to yell at them for wasting their time with her, but in that moment, and in all honesty, Tamsin couldn't have been more grateful for the help.

And as she ran, there were only two things that kept her going, forcing her to push through the pain, the drugs and the exhaustion. One was that the woman in her arms had to be kept safe by any means necessary. And the other was the taste of her lips.

It happened just before they left the small examination room to head to the big hall where the Valkyrie was to be stripped of her pride in front of Bo and a select audience of elder Fae. Right before they headed out, the drug already flowing through her veins and making her head spin.

"We can't do this! We have no idea what this will do to you, how it will affect your biology…" she had tried one last time. As if it could make any difference. As if they had a choice.

"Relax, doc. It's gonna be fine. I've lived without these things for so long, losing them ain't gonna be a big deal."

"How do you know? And how the hell can you be so goddamn calm?"

"I'm not calm, Lauren. I'm fucking terrified," she admitted silently after a long pause.

And that's when she kissed her. It was the briefest thing, really, no more than a peck. But Lauren's mouth was light and sweet and pushed against hers with just the right amount of pressure. It only took a second, their lips barely moving at all, and Tamsin couldn't remember ever wanting something else to never end. Never. Not even her own life. Not even the universe.

It ended as fast as it started, and Lauren pulled away, smiling awkwardly, the beginning of a blush coloring her cheeks. For a second, it seemed that she wanted to look down in embarrassment, but she didn't.

Tamsin was stunned. She had been kissed before but that, right there, was something else altogether, and she wasn't sure she knew what. She felt it deep inside her though – something stirring at the contact, something ancient and massive, drawing ever closer to the surface. For the first time in all her lives, Tamsin thought that this was what love must feel like.

When Lauren finally moved and opened her mouth to apologize, the Valkyrie smiled back and shook her head. She held the other woman's gaze for a while and then let out a deep sigh, putting all her unspoken feelings and hopes in that one, simple exhalation.

She didn't want to dwell on it any longer for fear her resolve would be shattered and she would end up giving Bo the satisfaction of seeing how afraid she really was. "Let's go, doc. It's showtime!" she grinned and jerked herself upwards, ready to walk out.

She didn't look down as she felt Lauren's hand reaching for her own and giving it a reassuring squeeze. Please don't let go.

She was still in bed, drinking a cup of water under Trick's watchful eye when Tamsin burst in, Evony following briskly behind her, obviously having a hard time to keep up if the beads of sweat on her brow were any indication.

The wide grin that appeared on the Valkyrie's face when she saw Lauren awake seemed to light up the entire room. Ignoring Trick completely, she just rushed to the human's bedside and extended her arms into what ended up being a very awkward hug, as she almost stopped halfway, not sure if Lauren would return the gesture. She had no reason to worry, as it turned out.

They hugged briefly and then just stayed there, looking at each other and smiling, oblivious to Trick's and Evony's raised eyebrows and unspoken questions.

"Hey doc, don't do that again, okay? You scared the shit out of me."

"It's not like I knocked myself out intentionally, Tamsin," Lauren shot back, and the Valkyrie snorted proudly.

"Yeah, you never know with you scientists," she smirked, eliciting a small chuckle from the doctor.

"Are you… How are…" Lauren began again after a brief pause.

"I'm alright, Lauren, really. I'm healing. Everything's fine," she smiled again, reassuringly. "I promised."

"Ahem," Evony finally cleared her throat loudly. "Well, if you'll excuse us, Trick and I have something else to attend to and as much as we're enjoying this tear-wrenching reunion, I'm afraid it cannot be delayed."

"We do?" the Blood King started, before Evony elbowed him firmly in the ribs to shut him up.

"It is not my fault you are becoming senile," she shot back, giving Trick a stern glare as if daring him to contradict her one more time. Luckily, he seemed to get the message. "When you two are done, you know where to find us. We've got work to do," she added and turned back on her heels, practically dragging Trick behind her.

"Surely we could have talked now, no?" he insisted as they walked out of the room. "I mean, we have pressing concerns that need to…"

"I swear, old man, sometimes I really wonder how come you've survived this long. Give them a moment. All these years and you still wouldn't know love even if it hurled a cannonball in your face."

He looked at her for a few good seconds before the meaning clicked into place. "Oh? …Oh! But I… but I thought Lauren… Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure. I've dated Eros, remember? You tend to pick some stuff up when you're going out with an ancient love Fae."

Trick nodded pensively. "If that is indeed the case, we either got very lucky or very unfortunate. Regrettably there's only one way to find out," he sighed gloomily.