A/N: Aww poor Jenkins. Writing him is starting to make me feel attached. Okay, one awkward elevator kiss coming up.
WARNING: flashback scene to the Krogan is short but a bit gory.
Shepard was assigned to the first group to take Liberty that evening. She bought the group a round of drinks at the closest bar before hurrying back to the ship. She had already said her goodbye's to Arcturus and wanted to explore more of the Normandy before take off.
The groups were arranged randomly and she was a bit sad, to her confusion, when Kaidan was assigned to another. At least she did not have to put up with Jenkins. She was sure he was a good soldier and a nice person, but like Joker, he was best in small doses.
Anderson noticed that she was back early when she entered onto the Command deck. He was a little disappointed that she had not stayed out longer with the crew, but understood her frustration with crowds over the past three years. After all this time, she was still not used to the attention she garnered. He did not miss the days after the First Contact War when his novelty drew the same reaction. "It'll pass," he thought as he made a mental note to relay the message to her the next time they spoke.
Later that evening, she went into the port side lounge to check on her fish. She had made a place for him on a shelf next to some playing cards. The room was packed full of shipmates exchanging introductions. "Great, more crowds," she thought slightly irritated. The ones on the Citadel had filled her quota for the year. She mustered a fake smile at the salutes as she continued towards Alexander.
He was a beautiful emerald green with fins that fanned out in all directions. There was a darker green mixed in that added texture and depth to his scale covered body. His small black eyes stared at her through the glass. An air bubble escaped from his tiny fish lips. He was already two years old and she was not sure of his life expectancy. The thought of a fish funeral made her laugh internally. Even she did not understand her fascination with fish.
"He's beautiful," a kind deep voice said to her from behind. "What's his name?"
She turned around to see who had spoke before answering, "Alexander the Great. He's a little fish so I thought he needed a big name."
"I always had fish growing up. It was the only thing I could keep a live," he admitted with a slight chuckle. The man standing before her towered over everyone in the room. "Petty Officer Greico, Command deck technician, ma'am," he said with a salute. He was one of the late third to come aboard and they had not yet met.
"I'm afraid to ask, but you don't handle the life support systems, do you?" she said flashing him a smile.
"No ma'am, scouting systems," he assured her.
"Good to know, Greico, good to know," she said turning her attention back to Alexander. She pushed the button for the food dispenser and watched as he attacked the flakes that were released. "So, what's your story?" she asked him without looking.
"I'm a colony kid, ma'am. I grew up on a farm, but never had the knack for it. I was only allowed to keep the fish." He laughed again under his breathe. "I got out of there as quickly as possible. The Alliance was my ticket out and I repay her any way I can."
"I hear that, Greico," she said turning to face him. His dark brown skin soaked up the ship's light. He had dark brown eyes that stood out on the whites. "So, how do you like the Normandy?" she asked momentarily distracted by his straight white teeth.
"It's an honor to serve abroad a ship so advanced, and an even bigger honor serving under you and Captain Anderson," his voice lowered in response to his feelings of inadequacy.
"You'll do great," she said.
She scanned the room and her blood pressure skyrocketed when she saw Kaidan in the crowd. "When the hell did he get here?" she thought. Two of the marines that she had bought drinks for earlier made their way into their conversation.
She floated in and out of her thoughts struggling to pay attention to their words. Fish. Colonies. Kaidan. Drive Core. Guns. Lips. Guns. Yes, guns. Back to her guns. They fixed everything.
She excused herself from the conversation and headed for the elevator, refusing to make eye contact with Kaidan on her way out. She pushed the call button and waited. She felt the heat coming off his body before she saw him. He had walked up next to her without making a sound.
They stood there in a peaceful silence as the elevator landed. The door opened and a man stepped off as he let out a quiet "ma'am". In unison they entered the lift. The door closed. They were the only ones inside.
Shepard quickly brought up her omni-tool. The dark orange hue painted the metallic walls. She had stopped the elevator in between decks. He was momentarily puzzled by the security breach. This faded to admiration of her hacking skills when his temperature rose. A low annoying beep echoed off the orange tinted walls. The VI implored them to stay calm as diagnostics were performed. She smiled wickedly.
"We need to talk, Kaidan," she said lowering her arm and turning to face him.
"Yeah," he said. It was the only thing he could manage to say. He looked into her eyes before grabbing her by the waist and pulling her in for a deep kiss that left them both breathless. She could not resist. Her better judgement was overruled by her endocrine system. Her resistance was vetoed by his velvet lips.
After they regained their composure she pushed him away before saying, "We can't do that again." The sadness in her voice made his heart sink. "I am your commanding officer. We don't know each other and I am not willing to risk our careers on hormones and lust. Regs are there for a reason and I won't break the rules for selfish gains...There is just too much at stake for me."
She shook her head in disgust of her feelings. "Shepard's are cool and collected, not hot and bothered," she said mostly to herself.
He agreed with everything she said. "We are on the same page. The past should stay in the past. It's just that when I saw you...I...I don't know...I just wasn't expecting to see you again. Not so soon anyway. And not as my new XO," he said as his eyes fell to the floor in shame at taking her in his arms. "It...it was a momentary laps of judgment and it won't happen again, Commander."
They stood there in silence for a minute.
"Can we start over? Clean slate? Just a Lieutenant Commander and her Staff Lieutenant working together on the most advanced warship in the Alliance?" she asked with a directness only a natural leader could pull off.
"I mean, it's not like we are in love. It was just one drunken night on shore leave," she said attempting to lessen the validity of their experience.
"I'd like that," he said smiling. He raised an eyebrow and added a sly "ma'am".
She sighed in relief and began to release the elevator. "That could have went a lot worse," she said quietly. He nodded in agreement. With that, all the awkward tension melted away. They remained in silence until the elevator door opened up onto the Storage deck. There was a line waiting on the other side.
"Someone's getting fired," she joked to the crew standing around. "Joker, have someone check the elevator. Alenko and I were just trapped inside," she said to the pilot through her comms.
"Yeah, we lost video and audio on you too. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll locate all the bugs, Commander," he replied.
"What are you trying to say, Joker?"
"Oh you know...'Commander Shepard expects nothing less than perfection,'" he chided in a mocking voice.
"That vid was taken out of context," she said unamused. "Commander Shepard expects nothing less than perfection FROM HERSELF. I can't expect others to live up to my impossible standards, Joker. I just expect them to give it their best," she said with confidence and understanding.
"Whatever you say, Commander," he said as the comms dropped off.
She rolled her eyes as she made her way to the weapons' locker. Kaidan followed a step behind. She took out her pistol and began her rhythmic routine. The two marines talked shop about weapons' upgrades and biotic amp interfaces. The tone was comfortable and respectful.
They were both thankful that the awkwardness had dissipated. Several crewmen came and went, joining the conversation in an attempt to get to know their new XO. Most got bored of soldier talk pretty quickly and meandered off in search of something more exciting.
After about an hour, Jenkins came down in search of her wisdom. He had just gotten back from Liberty and smelled of alcohol and sweat.
"Did you really kill a Krogan on your last op in the Local Cluster?" he asked, his eyes wide with utter amazement.
"It was me or him, Jenkins. I had no choice," she said, cringing at the image burnt onto her memory.
The reminder of her rifle blowing a hole through his giant head went spinning through her mind. The mist painted the wall behind him with blood and other particulates as the bullet punched through the back of his skull. The crackle echoed in the small room.
After he hit the ground, his dark orange blood went oozing out of the orifice taking bits of brain matter and tissue with it. The liquid also trickled out of his mouth, nose and ear. She watched as a river of death formed on the ground at her feet.
"It took me weeks to get the blood off my boots," she said nonchalantly after describing the gory details. Her forwardness shocked everyone within earshot. She secretly enjoyed freaking people out, and it brought her much pleasure to see the eyes of her subordinates nearly pop out of their skulls.
"Where did you hear that from, marine?" she asked with a hint of surprise in her voice.
"Some guy in the bar said that he witnessed it," he answered. "Thanks, Commander! You just won me fifty credits from Corporal Lowe."
She shook her head and said with delight, "I wouldn't bet against me!"
"Neither would I," Kaidan chimed in without thinking or looking up from his gun.
"But I would be more careful with whom you trust, Jenkins. Samson was the only witness and he's been dead for over a year," she said with sadness in her eyes. "Unless the dead have risen, you've been had."
"Yes, ma'am," the young corporal said with a quick salute before hurrying off to collect his prize.
"I have to get to bed," she said excusing herself from the group that had formed around the weapons' table. She took the elevator back up to the Quarters. After checking on Alexander and hitting the head, she hopped into her bunk.
The cushions were still stiff. It would take a few months before they were broken in. She was so glad that she did not have to hot bunk in the sleeper pods that she would have happily slept on the hard metal cot without them. The conversation she had with Kaidan repeated on a loop in her head as she drifted off to sleep.