CHAPTER 10: HELPLESS

It was hard to imagine that there was ever happiness in Wayne Manor.

No matter how many times Chloe visited, she could never shake the sense that it would do Bruce a world of good to walk out of this place and never look back. While this thought could never be more than wishful thinking on her part, Chloe could not help but think that Wayne Manor was also a monument to the grief he was unable to let go, the grief he had evolved into his great crusade.

Even when she walked through its palatial hallways and studied the fine art that adorned the walls, the dead eyes of Waynes past scrutinized from their portraits just as deeply as she did them. Wayne Manor was haunted by ghosts, not just of Bruce's ancestors but also by his parents, Thomas and Mary Wayne. To some degree it was also haunted by the eight year old boy who died the same night of his parents. His death was not a physical one but he had died just the same. Sometimes, Chloe was convinced if you listened hard enough, you could hear them still.

A week had passed since Chloe had arrived at the Manor with Clark, Lois and Valerie, escaping the abduction attempt at the farm. Chloe had been unable to go into work at the Planet since then, convinced by Bruce that if someone was trying to get to Clark, they would almost certainly use her as bait. Citing her current problems with tabloids as a reason to take early vacation, Chloe had thus remained at the Manor keeping Lois company while Clark recovered from the near fatal shooting he had suffered.

She also helped Bruce with their search to uncover the truth about their abductors and learn the truth behind Hank Cobb and the DeSaad Corporation for whom he worked. Unsurprisingly, there was very little on record that did not depict the company as anything more than what it claimed to be; a leader in biomedical equipment. However, Bruce was convinced there was more to it and though he wanted to go investigate the company himself, Chloe managed to talk him out of this course for awhile.

Particularly since Clark's powers had not returned.

It had been a week since the strange blue projectile was removed from Clark Kent's body. Bruce's studies of the material, compared to samples of green meteor rock, confirmed the truth he suspected in Smallville. Apart from minor differences in its chemical composition that caused variety in colour, the blue crystal was indeed kryptonite. Their enemy not only knew Clark's weakness but they also knew he was from Krypton. While green kryptonite could severely irradiate and kill Clark, it appeared blue kryptonite might be to render him powerless.

Although he had removed most traces of the crystal from Clark's body during the 'surgery' performed on the kitchen table of the Kent farm, Bruce was unconvinced that he had removed all of it. The composition of crystal was far different from lead. It fragmented more easily and used as a projectile, there could be shards throughout the Kryptonian's body. Bruce believed that they were small enough to be broken down by the body's natural processes but that could take time.

And Clark powerless when there were people out there who knew his secrets made him extremely vulnerable.

"Interesting," Bruce remarked as he was hunched over the eyepiece of the near-field scanning optical microscope inside the large cavern beneath the manor which Chloe secretly called Bruce's Peter Pan cave.

"What?" She looked up from the computer screen, pushing her steel rimmed glasses further along her nose, waiting for him to respond.

"I think I understand why these rocks affect Clark the way they do," he said blinking to adjust his focus after staring through the eyepiece for so long.

"How so?" Chloe asked. Her curiosity piqued. "I mean we always knew that they were pieces of Krypton but why would they affect him in that way? Wouldn't it mean all Kryptonians would be sick when it was part of the planet?"

"Not necessarily," Bruce faced her. "The specific level of a radioactivity probably came about during the planet's explosion. Clark said that the entire solar system was destroyed. If that's the case, the sun would have also been destroyed and anything in its path would have been hit with an unbelievable amount of radiation. To you and me, its just rock but to anyone from Krypton, this will kill him. "

"So you actually have to be born on Krypton for it to work," Chloe nodded in understanding.

"Exactly," he answered. "It wouldn't affect a Kryptonian born on Earth."

"There's a frightening thought," she retorted, thinking of how many Kryptonians they had encountered over the years that weren't friendly. "Oh wait so when Zod showed up, that's why it wouldn't work on him."

"Right, Zod's body was from Earth not Krypton."

"So how does that help Clark?" She asked, impressed by Bruce's analysis but they needed to help Clark regain his powers.

"I'm not sure," Bruce shrugged. "The chemical bonds of blue kryptonite seem to break down faster than green. If he has any of it in his system, he might be able to purge it from his system so he can return to normal."

"You know we got the red kryptonite out of him by a Kryptonian device we got from the fortress. Clark returned it there after we were finished with Zod. Maybe we should try and get it."

"Let's give it a few more days to see if he comes out of it on his own." He replied. "these people knew enough about him to get the kryptonite. Let's not risk an ambush if they know about the fortress too." He pointed out.

"Great," Chloe sighed before jumping at the screech of something overhead. Looking up, she could see the slight flutter of wings in the shadows and immediately felt her skin crawl. The computer system that Bruce had at his disposal was unlike anything she had ever seen. Utilising a quantum computer that massively sped up searches and optimisation calculations, it was guaranteed to make the current computer systems obsolete in a matter of years. She hadn't seen anything like this outside of a government facility or MIT. It was a dream to use, however, Bruce's choice of where to keep it left a lot to be desired.

"Why can't you get a dog like everyone else?" she asked, trying to hide her fear of the bats she couldn't quite make see, clinging to the stalactite ridden ceiling.

"If you don't bother them, they won't bother you," he said nonchalantly as he removed the samples and returned them to the sample container on his work bench a few feet away.

Chloe frowned and returned her attention to the screen, "I can't find anything on this DeSaad Corporation and even less on Cadmus," she announced. "Everything down to their memos are legitimate. Doesn't look like they're up to no good, everything's a matter of public record."

Bruce shrugged as he returned to her side. "They're trying pretty hard to be normal which makes me wonder what they're hiding."

"They might not be hiding anything," she said, playing devil's advocate.

"Oh they're hiding something, when someone tries that hard to look normal, it usually means they have more secrets than anybody. "

No kidding, Chloe thought.

Clark had gone without powers before and depending on the situation, he had been both pleased and unhappy without it.

During that period when Jor-El's punishment for his disobedience had resulted in a loss of powers, Clark had been dating Lana Lang and it was the only time in their relationship, he could honestly be himself around her. Thus, he hadn't minded so much. He had even settled down to a conventional life until it became apparent that the world needed his powers more than Lana needed a normal boyfriend.

Later on such episodes only proved further how much his powers were needed to protect his loved ones and sometimes, the danger they found themselves in had little to do with him. Like the situation that had been wrought upon him because of Valerie Beaudry. Clark didn't blame her of course, nor did he blame Lois for bringing Valerie to the farm. However, it did drive home how helpless he was to help them now that he had lost his powers.

Although his wounds from the gunshot had completely healed, Clark felt weak. Worse than that, he felt helpless. Although he was grateful to Bruce for opening his home to all of them, Clark longed for the farm, hated the possibility that his secret in the wrong hands could prevent him from going home again and even more daunting, was the fact he was unable to do a thing about it.

Although it was contrary to everything Jonathan Kent had taught him, Clark felt himself slipping deeper and deeper into a fit of depression and like everything else in his life of late, he was powerless to stop it.

Lois entered their room in Wayne Manor to find Clark exactly where she left him, in front of the television set looking more depressed than she had ever seen him. There was an irrefutable order to their relationship – he was the eternal optimist while she was the hard nosed cynic. They worked so well together because of this and watching him with this growing resentment in his eyes frightened her.

"Come on Smallville," she said standing in front of the TV while he was stretched out across the bed. "Let's get out of here. You've been cooped up all day, let's take a walk around the manor, and see what kind of Wayne dirt we can scoop out?" She teased.

"I thought you weren't doing the tabloid thing anymore," he grumbled.

Lois flashed him a withering look. "You're funny." She retorted and tugged at his foot when she sat at the edge of the bed. "Come on, move your ass. I'm not letting you lie around all day, moping. While, Chloe and Bruce are busy trying to figure out what DeSaad Corporation has to do with those creeps trying to grab you and Valerie, I thought we'd hit the streets. They have a branch office here in Gotham."

"I'm not moping," Clark said defensively as he rolled off the bed, trying to escape the argument. "I just don't think it's a good idea that it's a good idea for us to try and confront these people, not in the state I'm in. Right now, all I am to you is a liability. If they spot me while I'm with you, God only knows what they're willing to do to get to me. I won't let that be the reason that you get hurt Lois."

"Oh give me a break!" Lois exclaimed, not about to buy into his self-pitying nonsense. "I've been getting into trouble on my own long before I met you Smallville." She said with no small amount of exasperation. Getting off the bed, Lois crossed the distance between them and took his hand.

His love for Lois defied logic, defied description. He hadn't known he could ever be happy until he admitted he loved her. The idea of any harm coming to her, because of him, was a possibility that Clark Kent only entertained in his worst nightmares. Those men had almost killed him and they had murdered Valerie's parents without a second thought. He had no illusions as to what they would do to Lois if she got in their way.

"Maybe so Lois," Clark said quietly, "but this time I won't be able to get you out of it."

With that, he brushed past her and left the room before she had a chance to convince him otherwise.

"Self pity doesn't become you Clark," Bruce commented when Clark finally emerged from the guest room in the hallway outside.

Bruce hadn't meant to eavesdrop. He had come to find Clark in order to report the results of his analysis of the blue kryptonite. Upon approaching their door however, Bruce's acute hearing picked up snippets of conversation that told it was an inopportune time to intrude. He had stepped away when Clark's abrupt departure caught him out.

"I thought I'm the one with the great hearing," Clark remarked, feeling immediately guilty that his despondence had a witness other than Lois

"Or was." He added with more than a hint of bitterness.

"So that's it?" Bruce looked at him, "your entire worth is based on your ability to bend steel bars? There's nothing more to Clark Kent than that?"

Clark frowned and started walking down the hall, away from Lois and hopefully Bruce. However, no such luck, the master of Wayne Manor followed. "Of course not," he answered after a moment, "but I am being realistic. I don't have your training and the way those guys want me, all I'm going to do if Lois is seen with me is to make her a target. I won't let her get hurt."

"So don't," Bruce retorted firmly, understanding Clark's fears but not about to encourage it either. "If you don't want to be helpless then don't be." He challenged the younger man.

Clark paused and stared at Bruce, "How do you suggest I do that?"

Bruce grinned, "By learning to not be helpless."

This was all her fault.

Lois had brought Valerie home to the farm when she should have taken the girl immediately to cops when news of her parents' death became known. Instead, Lois had held on to Valerie, partly to help her and another part, much to her shame, for more selfish reasons. Valerie's story had dangled in front of her like a carrot and Lois had seen the opportunity for the story Pauline Kahn had challenged her to write.

As a result, they were now fugitives from their lives, not just her and Clark but Chloe too. Not only was there the chance he could be crippled permanently but Clark's secret was known to men who were willing to exploit it for their own ends. She had almost lost the love of her life and Lois wished she had considered the consequences of her actions before it was too late. Perhaps she might not have done things differently, it wasn't in her or Clark's nature to turn away anyone in need but they might have been more careful about it.

Her guilt wasn't rational, she knew it. It was borne out of the anguish of seeing Clark in so much pain and self-doubt. He was the one who was always making her feel better when things were at their darkest. It wasn't that long ago that Clark had told her she could do anything and Lois hated it because she couldn't offer him the same hope. She had to fix this. She had to find the men who had killed Valerie's family and tried to kidnap Clark so they could reclaim their lives again.

Getting dressed, Lois made a discreet departure from the Manor, using one of the many cars Bruce had in his garage and headed to Gotham. If nothing else, she was going to find out what DeSaad Corporation was all about and maybe even find a clue that would lead her to Cadmus.

"This is your answer?" Clark complained as he stared at Bruce across the padded floor of the Manor's fully equipped gymnasium.

The boxing helmet on his head felt uncomfortable and made Clark feel as if his field of vision was severely limited. Of course, he soon realised that this was largely because he was accustomed to having telescopic and x-ray vision at his disposal.

"Its one answer," Bruce remarked, also wearing the same helmet with his hands taped up for protective. "You're accustomed to your strength and your speed getting you out of trouble. Since you don't have those powers to rely on anymore, you're going to have to do things the old fashioned way."

"I know how to fight," Clark said defensively and then had to admit secretly that the number of times that he had encountered an opponent who matched him for strength, he hadn't exactly kicked ass. In fact, a lot of the time, he was often the one on the receiving end of a serious beat down.

"Really?" Bruce smirked, "then throw a punch at me."

"I'm not going to hit you Bruce," Clark protested, glaring at the man as if he was crazy. "This is stupid and a waste of time."

"Is it?" Bruce retaliated, not about to let Clark off the hook so easily. "You're so used to having these powers, you don't even think about the possibility of being hurt. You could have handled that bullet a dozen ways other than throwing yourself in front of it and still saved Chloe in the process. Only you didn't and that Clark is more dangerous than you not having powers."

"Chloe was in the path of that bullet," Clark returned, feeling somewhat foolish now that Bruce had put things that way. "I wasn't going to let her get hurt."

"I know that," Bruce answered. "I respect you for trying to save her life but you don't think – you react and that makes you predictable. You need to learn patience, to study the situation and realise the best way to get something done isn't necessarily the fastest. How many rooms have you run into over the years with meteor rock because you didn't take five seconds out to see inside before barging into it? How many times has Chloe or Lois had to come save you because of that?"

More times than he'd like to admit, Clark thought. "You're making me feel like dumb ass." He pointed out.

"I'm only trying to show you that it doesn't take unusual powers to keep a person from being helpless." Bruce explained sympathetically. "Power enhances a person Clark, it doesn't make them. You're one of the best people I know and yes, not being able to do the things you can, must be terrible but you have to get past thinking that's all you are. Otherwise you'll be no good to Lois or yourself."

Clark absorbed Bruce's words because they were good words and not unlike something Jonathan Kent might tell him if he were here right now. Clark missed his father very much at that moment but he was also grateful to the friend who dared to make him listen, even when he didn't want to.

"I think I'm ready to hit you now," Clark retorted with a smile.

"Dream on, farm boy." Bruce grinned.