You guys know the rule! 10 comments before I upload again. So read away my darlings!
P.s. So I apologize if there are any spelling/editing errors. I stupidly cut my finger pretty badly so typing is going a little more lowly and painstakingly (literally haha) than normal.
They were mainly silent on the way to Olivia's apartment, for the majority of the car ride Olivia had closed her eyes and put her hands palm down over her belly until she eventually fell asleep, trying to see if she could discern any faint movements or flutters of her baby, despite the doctors warning that it would be harder to feel movement because of the bruising and swelling, externally and internally.
Parking the car, Elliot walked around to the passenger side and started to unbuckle the seatbelt, sliding her off the seat and into his arms. "Elliot Stabler, if you try and carry me up to my apartment so help me you will never be able to father any children ever again" Olivia woke and said in a voice that was only half-kidding. He held her a moment longer, debating whether or not to continue this argument, he knew he had to lose some to win some…but still, he had the urge to ignore her protests and carry her up the 8 flights of stairs. Reluctantly he put her down and grabbed her bags out of the trunk before she could try and take one herself.
Only a few steps up, Olivia was regretting her decision. Despite the fact that she stayed in fantastic shape, she was exhausted by the time she was halfway up the first flight of stairs, her abdominal muscles already aching and her stitches pulling slightly. But she could feel Elliot's eyes burning a hole in her back, watching her with an intense vigilance for a misstep.
But only 4 stairs after that she was leaning slightly on the handrail, trying to inconspicuously support the weight of her belly with one hand. Elliot saw the faint wilt of her shoulders and settled a hand on her hip. She turned to him with anguished eyes and nodded. As he swept her up, she sighed heavily; "you were right El, but I don't need to hear the 'I told you so' speech right now". He shifted her slightly in his arms, balancing the bags on the crook of his elbow. "I didn't want to be right Liv, I just want…" "what's best for the baby I know" she retorted, turning her head away from his gaze – embarassed that she was so weak, that she needed him.
When they got to her apartment, she pulled away from him and walked toward her bedroom, avoiding his eyes. "I'm just going to take a shower" she called out over her shoulder. Looking at herself contemplatively in the mirror again she took off her clothes, letting them drop into a pile at her feet.
Her dark shoulder length hair was shot through with strands of honey and cinnamon red, framing her face – pale and scared as, wet from the shower, the beading droplets caught the light of the crystal candle holders she had put in the bathroom; brown eyes wide and mistrustful above the bruise coloured circles under her eyes that mimicked those on her body. Her small breasts had swollen almost a whole cup size so that they spilled out of her bra, filling her hands with their new heaviness when she felt them, the areolas changing colors to a deeper blushed tan.
She cupped her belly with her hands and turned slightly from one side to the other, examining her distended profile's reflection. It was still just a small curving bulge underneath her clothes – just having become enough for strangers and people on the street to guess she was obviously pregnant instead of fat. She ran her fingertips over her bloated stomach, lightly tracing around the bruises the surgery had left. Yes, her belly was still small. But she was fiercely proud of it, and overjoyed that in spite of the scare of the last few days it would continue to grow bigger yet as it swelled with her baby.
She slipped on an oversize t-shirt and pulled on a pair of shorts over her underwear considering Elliot was around. She padded out to the living room and looked into the kitchen, where she saw Elliot serving out portions of something onto two plates. He was so breathtakingly masculine, so strong and yet when he touched her it was with such tender reverence at times it made her want to cry, not that that was hard to do these days.
He caught her staring at him and his somber face broke into a smile. "Go, sit down, I'll be out in a minute with dinner". "This is my apartment you know" she grumbled almost underneath her breath, but the next moment she regretted her words. He was doing so much for her, even if she didn't necessarily want his help she knew for the moment she needed it, the least she could do was be a bit grateful.
"I didn't know how much you'd feel like eating so I just kind of threw together some soup and sandwiches, that sound okay?" he came out of the kitchen with two trays, setting one down on the table beside the couch for Olivia, and balancing the other on his knees as he sat on the recliner. "Sounds perfect"; she tried to smile up at him even though her stomach was rebelling at the sight of the food.
She made herself eat half of her tomato soup and grilled cheese, telling herself it was for the baby before easing back onto the couch cushions so she was curled up on her side, hugging a pillow around her stomach. "Are you done?" Elliot gestured to her half-finished plate and she smiled up apologetically, "yeah, sorry – between the baby and the swelling I don't think there's much room for food". "No problem" he smiled back and took the plates back to the kitchen, stuffing the other half of her sandwich into his mouth as he did.
He came back after loading the dish washer with a hot water bottle; he offered it to her and she groaned in thanks, taking it from him and pressing it to her cramping belly. Even as the warmth soothed away some of the achiness, she couldn't help but remember how much better Elliot's hands had felt last night in the hospital as they had stroked her and her baby to sleep.
Elliot flicked on the television and plopped down on the couch beside her, she rested her head on his leg and he gathered her closer so that her head was in his lap and he worked his fingers down the back of her head and neck, unraveling the tension that had gathered in her spine from carrying around the extra baby weight.
She moaned slightly in contentment as his capable fingers deftly released a knot. Abruptly his hands stopped and stilled, "does it hurt? Liv I'm sorry" he started, but she shook her head slightly as his hands started their work again, "no, it feels so good" she said in a breathy moan. Elliot felt himself grow hard as she arched her head and neck slightly, writhing in his lap at the sensations flowing through her solely from his touch.
"Olivia" now Elliot groaned as she turned into the hard length of him, teasing him as she realized what was happening. "We can't, not until you've been cleared at your 20 week appointment. Then, believe me sweetheart, I will ravish you." She laughed throatily, sitting back up so that she was upright.
But the moment her feet hit the floor, her stomach rolled and her mouth soured. She closed her eyes and breathed through her mouth, willing the feeling to pass. "Elliot" she whispered, not wanting to jar her roiling stomach by talking normally. He turned his head to see what she wanted and saw that her face had taken on a greyish tinge. He grabbed a plastic wastebasket he'd found in her cupboard earlier and placed it between her knees.
She had closed her eyes and was breathing shallowly, still fighting the rising nausea. Suddenly her shoulders shuddered and she threw herself forward involuntarily with the force of her heaving. Elliot had gathered her hair back at the nape of her neck and was rubbing her back soothingly.
"I'm sorry" she croaked out in a moment's respite; "Liv, don't be sorry. I know you don't want to be sick." He kept rubbing her back as she threw up again, "I'm sorry that your tummy's so upset. After all, it is kind of my fault" he added as an afterthought.
Normally Olivia would have bit back with a sarcastic remark, but as she hung her head over the garbage can, she just felt too miserable. After she seemed to have thrown up everything that was in her stomach, Elliot smoothed her hair back again, "will you be okay for a moment?" she nodded dumbly and he got up from the couch.
He came back a moment later with several damp cloths which he used to wipe her face and mouth, getting a fresh one for the back of her neck which had broken out in a sheen of cold sick sweat. Her stomach seized up again, but there was nothing left to bring up.
After another couple of moments though, the cool roughness of the washcloth and the soothing murmur of Elliot's voice brought her back to the present. She hadn't even realized she'd been crying, or that tears had escaped her eyes until Elliot brushed them away with his thumb.
Still curled into his shoulder, Elliot lifted Olivia up and carried her into her bedroom; sweeping back the covers to lay her down on the cool cotton before covering her back up again. He left again for a few minutes, and Olivia felt his absence, feeling the emptiness resonate in her ears and mind and much as she cursed herself for it, her heart. Elliot returned from washing out the garbage can and stopped at the entrance to her door.
"Elliot?" he walked over to the side of the bed where she lay curled underneath the blankets. "Wou – could you stay with me?" she asked in a small voice. "Just until I fall asleep", her fingers worried the hem of the blanket as she bit her lip. "It's just, I – that the cramping goes away when you're holding me. But on second thought, never mind. I'll be fine Elliot, good night".
She expected him to walk back out but instead he reached out to turn the hall light off and kicked off his shoes before settling himself down beside her. She snuggled into the firm breadth of his chest and he pulled her closer. He lay a hand over her expanding waistline, gently stroking his fingertips across it in a downwards motion.
Pulling aside the fabric of her t-shirt so his knuckles grazed her bare flesh, he started to rub her belly in slow soothing circles, hoping to settle her stomach and keep whatever meager amount of nutrition was in her stayed there.
His other arm cradled her shoulders and she sighed as she dropped off to sleep, laying her cheek in his palm and holding it there with her own hand, while its twin held her baby – protecting it even in slumber.
Elliot felt the release of her body as she drifted into exhausted sleep and kept up the motion of his hands, waiting until the faint jerky contractions of her upset stomach had stopped before allowing himself to close his eyes.
He was there when she woke in the night, sick and shaking from a dream. Neither of them were strangers to nightmares, it was a basic part of the job description when you worked in the unit they did. But still he rubbed her back and belly, murmuring soothing words until she was able to sleep again.
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