OK you guys, the reaction to the last update was EPIC! I got like 25+ comments for the last chapter alone. Seriously, best. Christmas present. EVER! (And thanks for telling me what you got too, although i'm sad to say there were few to no kittens. Bad times.) Thank you so much, you made me feel super special, and i hope you continue to like the fic.
Next, i have an entire week off work next week, and i have defeated my writer's block. How, you ask? With a kick-ass sex dream about Quinn Fabray in which i played the part of Rachel Berry. I'm tellin' ya, i felt like a BAMF for the rest of that day. Anyway, expect updates and general excitement.
To answer some of your questions, yes, "Sarah" and "Amanda" are aliases. I know that i've had some experience of people phone-raping me, and it's super rude and happens to everyone. And if you're having an illegal covert affair, textual evidence is not good when someone is going through your phone without you knowing. And Rachel Berry is nothing if not thorough about stuff like that.
Also, i'm not sure if i'll be bringing in other love interests; this is already going to be like somewhere between thirty and fifty chapters as it is if it all goes the way i'm planning at the moment. Angsty jealous chapters will drag it out even more. But we'll see ;)
Anyways, this chapter is slow on the action/progression, but heavy on the emotion again, so i hope you enjoy it.
Chapter Nine.
The next three weeks or so before the Christmas vacation were the sweetest hell Rachel had ever lived through. She couldn't sleep at night, for possibly the first time ever, because each time she drifted off she would wake up sweating and too hot. She would kick off the covers only to be freezing cold two seconds later. She knew it was the guilt getting to her, the guilt of not only doing something wrong, but actually breaking a law, and in a major way. She could ignore it during the day, but at night her subconscious would call her out. But every time she was close to telling Quinn that she couldn't carry on (even if they were only texting each other) she would receive the sweetest message, from "Amanda" and her heart would melt.
You look beautiful today Sarah. I wish I could hold you in my arms.
Hearing your voice makes me glad I woke up this morning.
The kids in your classes have no idea how blessed they are to have you as their teacher.
But it wasn't as if the Quinn was just talking to her. She was listening, responding. Close to the end of the last week, Rachel's first parent-teacher conferences were coming up, for the seniors, and as confidant a woman as she was, part of her felt as if she was one of the students herself, and trying to talk to a less capable student's parents about why their pride and joy was failing seemed like a daunting prospect. On the evening, she received a text from "Amanda" (who was boredly skulking between each of her teachers as her parents heard "excellent student" "will go far" "Very polite" again and again). Before every student's parents came to sit down, Quinn would send her pointers, like Very religious/serious. Don't make jokes! or Has no respect for music, don't go into detail.
When she had a moment without stoney-faced parents sitting in front of her, she chanced a quick look at the girl, who returned her gaze with the slightest flash of a heart-breaking smile, before she turned back to the Spanish teacher talking to her parents in front of her. Rachel could see her nodding along, but noticed her fingers moving slightly. Seconds later she received another text. You are so amazing. You would have been fine without me. Rachel smiled as she looked down at her phone, quickly typing a message back. But I wouldn't have felt half as confident. And you could give anyone on Broadway a run for their money with the acting chops you're pulling out tonight. How do you look like you're concentrating? She waited a few moments, taking the time to check no-one else was coming her way before the phone buzzed again in her hand. Haha, years of practice. Like from birth. But you made a really good impression JSYK. I heard Karofsky's dad saying how great you are. The only other things I've heard him be positive about are football and himself. Rachel smiled at her little victory before a frown crept up as another text came through almost as soon as she finished reading the previous one. Shit shit shit! Be submissive. Rachel's brow dropped, wondering if Quinn was trying to push their relationship somewhere totally beyond where it had either the capability or possibility of going, before her eyes widened and she realized what was about to happen. She shoved her phone in her pocket and grabbed her pen, pretending to go over her notes so she looked remotely professional, before she heard a low cough. She looked up smiling, trying hard not to tremble as she stood and took the proffered hand of Russell Fabray.
"Russell Fabray. Pleasure to meet you." He said as they shook.
"It's a pleasure to meet you also Mr Fabray. My name is Rachel Berry, I'm Quinn's music teacher" Rachel said with a wide smile, breaking out her best Juilliard stage face for the occasion. He indicated to his left.
"My wife Judy". He said shortly. The woman stepped forward and also shook hands with Rachel. "It's lovely to see you again Ms Berry." She said demurely, and Rachel returned the sentiment. Rachel, not wanting to seem in any way preferential, greeted Quinn as she had greeted all the other students. She allowed her eyes to slip to her right for a moment, smiling as she asked "How are you this evening Quinn?" They all sat down as Quinn replied.
"Good thanks Ms Berry, and you?" Russell has her well trained, Rachel thought.
"Yes, I'm doing very well this evening thank you." She caught the tight-lipped beam that Quinn struggled to rein in from the corner of her eye as she turned back and addressed Russell.
"Well, Mr Fabray, I would firstly like to say that Quinn is an excellent student." Russell nodded, not approvingly, but as more of an acknowledgment. Seeing that Rachel had absolutely no hope of impressing him with his daughter's talent, Rachel decided to just go all out and see what happened. "She's acing all of her assignments, is a great addition to the classroom and is in fact helping me to get the rest of the class up to the standard they'll need to pass the class. I believe she must have had some previous experience?" Rachel smiled, but underneath she was a seething cauldron; the man was a drunk, judgmental and totally dismissive of his own daughter, the daughter that she just happened to be in love with. At that thought Rachel's stomach clenched. The opinions she had entertained about Russell Fabray, how horrifically upset he made his daughter, how scared, were only held back by the fact that Rachel's feelings for said daughter were totally inappropriate and illegal, if only because of her job. She took a deep breath, and shook off the thought that she should have left when she was reading Quinn's texts, as Judy replied for Russell, who seemed to be slowly turning redder, and unable to reply.
"Yes, Quinnie did have some piano lessons a long time ago, but she gave those up, didn't you sweetheart?" Quinn couldn't look up at Rachel or her mother, just nodded, whilst looking at her shoes. Rachel continued, her smile getting bigger the angrier she became.
"Well it certainly shows, Mrs Fabray. She is extremely gifted." She noticed Quinn smile again slightly but continued to stare down Russell, before delivering her final blow.
"She should really consider studying music at college, you know. She would go so-" Rachel was cut off as Mr Fabray's tongue loosened enough to reply. Loudly. Loud enough to catch the attention of the rest of the room.
"Quinn will do something worthwhile with her time. Music is not a career, it's a hobby." Judy quietly chided him as she noticed the rest of the room's occupants looking in their direction. He closed his mouth, and Rachel did an internal dance at being able to get a rise out of him so easily, even if it was in such a childish way. She smiled back at him demurely, unfazed, but her eyes were dark.
"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, Mr Fabray. I have found working with music extremely fulfilling." She stopped to look at Quinn, who was a little red. Realizing that it was possible Mr Fabray's anger would not remain directed at herself after he left, she tried to calm him a little for the girl's sake. "As I have said though, Quinn is an excellent student. She shows fine leadership skills in the classroom, is very intelligent and a quick learner. She must have had a great role model in her life." She wanted to punch herself in the face as she said this, trying to play up to his egotism, and Quinn finally looked up at her, with her left eyebrow raised in incredulity. Rachel resigned herself to finishing her brown-nosed spiel with a compliment towards Quinn rather than the odious man that thought he controlled her. She looked directly into Quinn's eyes. "I have no doubt in my mind that Quinn can do whatever it is that she wants to and find success." The smiled at each other before Rachel turned, regarding Judy, whose fear seemed to have dissipated a little, and finally Russell, whose redness was fading as he nodded, diffusing as quickly as he wound up. They discussed (in very little detail) what they had studied in class, with little to no input from the Fabrays.
Russel nodded cordially as he stood to leave, not actually saying anything to the brunette, but shaking her hand again. Judy stayed similarly silent. Quinn, however thanked her warmly as they stood, another closed-lipped smile on her face. "Thanks a lot Ms Berry. See you soon."
"You're welcome Quinn, have a good evening." Rachel smiled back. As the family walked away, Rachel flopped back to her seat in relief. She didn't realize how tense the situation had been until it was over. Between hating the man so much out of principle, trying not to show it, being in love with his daughter illegally, trying not to show that, and trying to undo what she had done, it was a roller-coaster 5 minutes. She realized she was sweating a little and decided to go and freshen up in the bathroom down the hall.
Quinn, noticing that Rachel was walking out the door, guessed where she was going. She excused herself from her parents, citing needing the bathroom (which was mostly the truth) before she turned and followed her down the corridor. The conversation with her parents was the closest and most intimate situation that they had been in since the evening Rachel gave her her cell number, and Quinn's hunger had been piqued. She entered the bathroom that Rachel had gone into a minute before, checking that only one of the stalls was in use before turning back and locking the main door. She went over to the sinks and leaned against the one directly in front of Rachel's stall. She crossed her arms over her chest and reclined back, crossing her ankles, a smirk on her face, as she waited for the woman to come out. Quinn heard the lock click and watched Rachel walk about 3 paces out of the cubicle, straightening her skirt, before she looked up and noticed she wasn't alone. Before she could react, Quinn began to talk.
"That." She punctuated it with a step forward, leaving only two feet of space between them. "Was amazing." She smiled and allowed her arms to drop to her sides as Rachel looked around the room, checking to see there was no-one else there before she smiled back.
"What was amazing?" Rachel said, unsure. Hearing this, Quinn allowed all bravado and pretense to drop.
"You. You were amazing. I don't understand how you can go from cute, being all nervous about a parent-teacher conference, to hot" Rachel shifted uncomfortably at the thought of Quinn saying she's hot "getting my dad to snap like that without any effort…" At this Quinn grabbed each of the woman's wrists, pulling them around her back, "to loving and protective in the space of about three minutes." When Quinn was sure the woman wouldn't move her hands from her lower back, she allowed her palms to graze all the way along them until each one was resting on the back of Rachel's shoulders. They stared into each others eyes for a moment before Rachel shuffled a little, knowing she should move. Quinn stilled her by shifting her hands from her shoulders to her face.
"I know I shouldn't have followed you in here, but it's been weeks since I've touched you. I just wanted that warmth, that perfume, that peace that only you have." Quinn said staring into Rachel's eyes. She allowed her arms to tighten around Rachel's neck as she pulled her in, Rachel's arms closing around her lower back. Heads to each other's shoulders, they just stood for a minute, basking in each others presence and nearness. Finally, Rachel lifted her head from Quinn's shoulder and nudged her head a little with her chin. Quinn looked up, and rested her forehead against Rachel's, their bodies flush against one another's.
"We should go." Rachel breathed. Quinn was still for a moment, then nodded in affirmation. As she was about to step away, Rachel's arms tightened around her waist to stop her from moving away. She looked at the woman questioningly before understanding as Rachel's soft, warm, beautiful lips made contact with her own for only the second time ever. It was sweet, and chaste, and made Quinn feel like someone had suddenly yanked her spine out of her back. When they parted a second later all either of them could think was that they wanted more, but they stepped away from each other, Quinn walking back out of the door before Rachel turned towards the washbasins.
The night before they broke for the holidays was particularly unpleasant for both of them. Just knowing that they probably wouldn't see each other for weeks was something neither one could overcome. Both tossed and turned the night before, wishing they could think of an excuse to see each other the next day. Rachel in particular was having trouble sleeping, and she was exhausted. She hadn't slept a full eight hours since the day Quinn confessed to her in the music room. Her immune system was taking a beating, and she knew that she had finally succumbed to something that night when her throat was sore and her sinuses ached. Sighing, and knowing she wouldn't sleep for hours to come, she picked up her phone and typed out a quick text to Quinn, only feeling slightly guilty that it was 2am because they had the whole vacation to sleep.
Urgh, I'm sick, and I can't sleep. Make me feel better? Scrolling down to "Amanda" she sent the text and hoped for a (not grumpy) response, knowing that it was possible she wouldn't receive anything as Quinn had started turning off her phone after they had said their nightly I love yous, due to Santana with her relentless morning phonecall assaults.
She lay on her back and rested the phone on her chest, feeling the weight of it as she breathed and counting the seconds. After about five minutes (Quinn always was a little fuzzy in the mornings, it must take her a long time to wake up), it buzzed in response.
Oh, baby I'm sorry (they had progressed into pet names at about 9am the day after they exchanged their first texts). If I was there I would hold you and rub your back. I would kiss you all over until you felt better. As always, Rachel's heart ached at how sweet the girl was. She had no doubt that she would fall asleep instantly if she was wrapped up in the blond's loving embrace. She closed her eyes at the thought, and wrote back. I wish I could just rest my head on your chest and listen to your heart beating. On reading this, Quinn's stomach clenched. She lay on her back with her eyes screwed shut, considering whether or not she should do what she had just thought of. Against her better judgment, she hit the green call button, held the phone up to her ear and waited.
Rachel hit the receive button and looked at the screen expecting to see another sweet text, only for her eyes to widen in shock as she realized that she had just answered a call from the blond. They had been texting for weeks now, but neither had the courage to actually call. Finally noticing that she hadn't said anything for at least forty five seconds but Quinn was still on the line, Rachel, panicking slightly, put the phone to her ear.
"He-Hello?" She grimaced slightly as her voice sounded rough and gravelly, and hurt her as it came out.
"Hi" Quinn whispered, not really knowing why as her parents were clear across the house and on a different floor. Both of them were silent for a moment; they had never had a conversation on the phone and it felt a little awkward, but Quinn realized that she wasn't doing anything to make the woman feel any better, so she broke the silence, although she still whispered as if the situation was too delicate for her to raise her voice.
"I'm sorry you're getting sick baby." she said lovingly. When Rachel heard her speak, and heard her call her "baby" for real, her heart wrenched painfully in her chest, and the only reason Quinn didn't hear her sob as her eyes welled up with tears was because her voice wasn't working as normal. She tried to steel herself to reply.
"I feel better just hearing your voice beautiful." Quinn's brow knotted in pain at hearing Rachel call her beautiful. She had never felt someone's words affect her so powerfully. She knew from the sound of Rachel's voice that it was hurting her to speak, so she decided to stop her.
"Sweetheart, put me on speaker and get comfortable ok?" Rachel wanted to ask why, but she was to tired and achy to question it, and she knew that nothing Quinn would ask her to do would harm her, so she put the phone on speaker and rolled over until she was on her stomach, putting the phone next to her mouth on the pillow, sighing her consent.
"Are you comfortable?" Quinn asked after the shuffling noises had stopped. Rachel just hummed her response, feeling exponentially more relaxed knowing that her love was there in some way. Quinn pursed her lips nervously at what she was about to do, hoping that she didn't totally offend Rachel with her singing. Taking a deep breath, she sang out the first thing that came into her head that she could sing a capella.
"Isn't very difficult to see why you are the way you are,
Doesn't take a genius to realize that sometimes life is hard,
It's gonna take time, but you'll just have to wait,
You're gonna be fine,
but in the mean time;
Come over here lady,
let me wipe your tears away,
Come a little nearer baby,
'cause you'll heal over, heal over, heal over some day."
On hearing the soft lyrics from the speaker of her cell, Rachel felt the tension float from her body. The song was soft and sweet, and with the phone right next to her ear she could almost convince herself that Quinn was there with her. Not hearing any complaint, Quinn continued. She actually thought she heard a sigh of contentment once or twice, which gave her more confidence. Singing to a Juilliard voice alum was pretty nerve-wracking, even if she was singing her sick girlfriend(?) to sleep.
As she finished the song, Quinn was silent for a minute, thinking that perhaps Rachel would have some kind of comment, but she heard nothing.
"Did that help a little?" She got no reply, other than heavy breathing and soft snuffling sounds. Smiling to herself, Quinn understood that Rachel was peacefully sleeping, and was glad that her plan had worked. She lay and listened to the woman breathing for a few minutes, before it began to lull her to sleep herself. She knew she had to get off the phone or risk her parents' wrath when her phone bill came through, although she wanted nothing more than to stay connected all night. She sighed softly.
"Sweet dreams baby. I love you." As the line disconnected, Rachel's brow softened and a smile plucked at her soft lips as she slept.
(Song used is Heal Over by KT Tunstall, but you probably already knew that...)
So i know the girls have been falling into a bit of a self-pitying funk over the past couple of updates, but don't worry, i'm going to try and make the next few a little more light-hearted, starting with the next chapter. As soon as i write it. Which should be soon :s
As always, tell me what you think, if there should be more pirate sea-battles or whatever. ;)