Chapter 10 - Deja Vu
Jacob hovered above her, kissing his way down the valley of her breasts, stroking the soft curve of her side lightly with roughened fingertips. "Why haven't you come to see me yet?" she questioned, barely able to breathe as he enclosed the peak of her breast between his lips.
Barely pausing, he spoke the words she did not want to hear. "I'm not ready," then assaulted her other breast with his mouth.
She gasped in pleasure, willing herself to concentrate. "Ready? What do you need to be ready for?" Bella looked at him with confusion, then tugged at his hair, demanding he meet her gaze.
Jacob crawled slowly up her body until his lips skimmed her own, kissing them softly, then looked at her with so much adoration that it made her heart bleed. Both love and anguish were clearly written in his warm, brown eyes. "Bella, I can't... the wolf, he's just so... what if I hurt you?"
The pain in his voice hurt, scratching at her heart like an open sore. Bella realized that he needed reassurance, a sign from her that she'd welcome him with open arms that never feared his touch. "You'd never hurt me, Jake... and neither would he," she added knowing it was the wolf which troubled him.
He smiled at her weakly, but was earnest in his plea. "Bella, you need to come to me."
"But why?" she asked. "I don't understand."
"Because, I have come to you for years. It's your turn. It's your choice." Jacob kissed her again, pulling her into his arms and then whispered in her ear. "Find me, Bella."
Then he was gone from the bed, an apparition standing by the window. "Come to me."
Bella blinked and then he wasn't there anymore. His voice was nearly inaudible now, barely a whisper of leaves rustling in the trees. "Come to me."
The bedroom curtains fluttered. A rush of cold, night air sent goosebumps running up and down her arms. Then one last time, his rich voice carried on the wind.
"Come to me."
She was in that place between dreaming and awake. The cool morning breeze tickled her cheeks. Jacob's lingering touch still warm upon her breast, the imprint of his face outlined on her pillow.
Bella did not want to wake.
Confused, she padded softly to the window, closing it tightly and stared out at the treeline. It had all been so real. Jacob, the wind, beckoning to her... come to me.
The window was closed when she went to bed last night, she was absolutely certain of it. It was raining when she crawled under the covers, thunder threatening in the distance. No way would she have been so careless to leave it open, except now, there was a puddle of water on the floor that made her second guess herself.
"No. No way I left it open. Not possible." Bella marched into the hallway, digging out towels from the linen closet to mop up the pool of water on her floor. "Great, not only do I have smutty dreams about a guy I haven't seen in years, but now I'm sleepwalking? Just fucking dandy."
Stalking down to the kitchen, she threw together a pot of coffee then drummed her fingers on the counter while it brewed the first cup. She had a feeling it was not going to be a banner day. The phone was already wailing incessantly. Bella ignored it. Anyone who needed to talk to her would call her cell. She needed to get her head together, clear the fog and figure out what had to be done today.
Fifteen minutes later, Bella sat at Charlie's kitchen table, making a grocery list and mulling over the dream she'd had last night.
Why haven't you come to see me yet? she wondered. Although Leah didn't say so, she was sure it was Jacob that sent her truck. It was highly unlikely that anyone else had done it. The only other possible suspect would have been Embry, but he would've mentioned it.
That was another thing bothering her. Embry's visit last night. It was odd to say the least. More and more questions were starting to form in her mind with absolutely no answers. Instead she began to concentrate on the things she needed to do that day. Ever analytical, Bella made a list.
1 Check in with work
2 Call Matt
3 Call Leah
4 Get lunch from diner
5 Talk to Charlie's doctors
6 Grocery shopping
Then she added one more item, crossed it off and added it again. Visit Billy. Though somehow Bella had a feeling she'd get stonewalled. Of course, she could go down there and act like the scared little girl who wanted to know about her father and what was going on with the investigation. Bella was sure that her father was heading it up from his hospital bed and of course, he would tell Billy everything. Forks wasn't large, but it had enough dirty laundry to fill a tabloid. The two men were worse than old ladies when it came to gossiping. Billy would know everything and she could use that as an excuse.
Bella dismissed the idea quickly. Billy would see right through it. Hell, the way he'd been acting, the man probably wouldn't even answer the door. Hmm... maybe I should just see if he can be here when Dad comes home tomorrow. Try avoiding my questions then old man. Try to catch him while he's at the hospital visiting. He wouldn't be able to say no with Charlie there.
Of course, the fact that Jacob might come along did factor into the equation.
Pouring herself another cup of coffee, Bella sighed heavily, rolling her shoulders. The clock on the oven showed it was a quarter past nine already and she knew needed to get a move on. It was going to be a long day. Begrudgingly she stalked back up the stairs to jump in the shower.
Half an hour later she was dressed and ready, just finishing drying her hair when a knock sounded from the front door. "Coming..." she shouted, rushing down the stairs. To her utter surprise it was Embry... again.
"Hey, come on in," she invited. "You caught me just in time. I'm about ready to head out for the day."
Embry appraised her from head to toe, from the high-heeled suede boots she wore to the dark green sweater that tightly hugged her chest. Bella felt herself blushing though she didn't know why. It didn't matter one iota what he thought of her and it wasn't as if she didn't dress like every other woman in the world.
"I don't think that's such a good idea. I probably shouldn't come in. Grab your coat and come outside with me for a minute."
"Okay."
Bella shrugged into her fall jacket and walked out into the bright sunshine. She tilted her face to the sky, sniffing the air appreciatively. Mother nature had washed the world clean, leaving behind the sharp scent of pine and falling leaves. Fall had the Pacific Northwest firmly in its grasp.
"So, you want to tell me why you're here?"
Instead of saying something, Embry just stood there eyeballing her. Sort of like he was sizing her up and Bella felt the irritation rising up in her. "Look, if you don't have anything to say to me, you should go. I've got a really busy day ahead of me."
Still nothing. "I think you should go. Obviously this is pointless."
He made no move to leave, instead crossed his arms over his chest defensively and looked her straight in the eye. "Who's Matt?"
Bella was stunned. "Are you kidding me?" she asked incredulously. "Look, I don't know why you're here, but I think it's time for you to leave."
"No. I'm not going anywhere until you answer the question."
"Listen Embry, I don't know what's going on here. Is this some kind of joke? Did Jake send you?"
Suddenly Embry's eyes went wide with shock, just agitating Bella all the more. "Listen, I've been back for a week." Bella pointed past his shoulder to her truck sitting in the driveway. "I know he knows I'm here. If Jake wants to see how I am he can come and ask me himself." Then turning on her heel, Bella yanked open the door and went back in the house, leaving Embry on the porch. If he wanted to follow her in and have a normal conversation like two adults he could. The time for games was over.
Bella stalked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water just so that she'd have something to do other than explode. Just as she lifted the glass to her lips, a whisper sounded behind her. "Tell me Bella, how have you been sleeping lately?"
The glass dropped to the floor, water spilling out everywhere. "Damn it, Embry! I know you're a wolf but can you try to make a little noise next time? Not all of us have super-hearing, you know."
He just stood there, staring a hole through her head and Bella found herself getting more outraged by the second.
"Well?" he asked.
"That's none of your business. It's mine. Now get the hell out of here Embry."
A growl reverberated in his chest. Clearly he was pissed off but at this point, she could have cared less. "You heard me. Get out!" Bella stormed past him, driving home the point that she was not in the mood for this.
Embry caught her by the wrist, refusing to let her go. "You should be more careful Bella. You don't want to rile up a werewolf."
Bella narrowed her eyes at him, trying futilely to wrench herself free from his grasp. "Oh really? Let me tell you something, you overgrown fleabag. You don't want to rile me up. I'm not the same weak little girl who lets herself get walked on. I've been a gone a long time and you don't know anything about me anymore!"
Embry's face softened under her angry glare. "Bella, I'm sorry. You're right. Jake, he doesn't know I'm here. I don't patrol for a few more days or else I wouldn't have come. Look Bella, your dreams. Listen to them. Just be careful."
The apology did little to ebb the tide of anger flowing off of her in waves. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" A sudden realization swept over her. "Have you been spying on me? Is that it? I would have never taken you for a creep like that, Embry Call."
"No Bella. I haven't been spying on you. You're smart. You've always been smart. You'll figure it out." Embry hesitated for a second, then to her utter shock, wrapped both of his hulking arms around her in a tight hug. "You belong here Bella. This has always been your home."
It was time for him to go. Embry led Bella back to the door, then walked down the porch steps leaving her stunned and confused by the hug when he, Billy and Leah had been acting so skittish around her.
Partway down the sidewalk, he stopped, looking at her from over his shoulder. "Dreams are important to our people Bella. Sometimes you find the answers to all of life's questions when you sleep."
Grabbing her laptop, Bella headed over to the local diner, praying they had wi-fi so that she could check in with work and respond to the hundred and one emails she was certain were waiting for her by now. She needed to send one to her mother since she and Phil were currently globetrotting and getting in touch with her by phone would be next to impossible. Even though Renee had gotten remarried, Bella knew that she would still want to know what had happened to Charlie.
Embry's visit had done nothing but add to her confusion. Truth be told, Bella felt like a mixed bag of emotions after everything that had happened that week.
oooOOOooo
It was lunchtime when she finally walked into the diner, unable to avoid all the people who wanted to know how Charlie's recovery was going. Ten hugs later she was finally booting up her computer and sipping on a coke while waiting for her order.
The door chimes sounded and Bella looked up to see Embry walk in. Her first inclination was to jump up and accuse him of following her, but he was with Paul, a wolf she didn't feel like tangoing with right now. Instead she kept her eyes glued to her work while the two men seated themselves at the counter.
Bella did find it odd that neither one of the men so much as looked her way. They knew she was there. After all, being wolves it wouldn't be hard to pick up her scent. The fact that they scanned the entire diner when they walked in was clue number two.
Assholes, she thought, wishing they could read her mind. Really, whatever this crap going on was, it was utterly ridiculous. If all this boiled down to what did or didn't happen between her and Jake all those years ago, they needed to get over it and move on. This is exactly why I don't want to deal with the tribe for the new gallery. I just knew shit would get ugly with me coming back here.
She knew it wouldn't have taken a genius to figure out that her leaving town probably didn't go over well with the pack. Especially considering that Jacob's thoughts were laid bare for all of them to see. Even if he understood the reasons she left, it didn't mean everyone else would. All that they would see were the images of that night. Arms and legs of two teenagers desperate for something, a way to cement their relationship, tangled up in each other. While it might have meant something to the two of them, the pack would see it as a strike against her. The vampire girl leaves the werewolf who saved her life in the dust. Nevermind that it was the best thing for both of them at the time.
If she were really honest, Bella was afraid of seeing Jacob. As much as she had changed and grown as a person, she was sure he had too. Along with that he may have found someone else to love, another woman to fill her shoes who could reciprocate that emotion without the past interfering. Added to that was the fact that he had yet to come see her or visit Charlie. It added to the apprehension she was feeling and left her to wonder the reason why.
Bella closed her laptop in disgust, paid the bill and walked out the door shortly after they departed. Stumbling angrily into the parking lot, she nearly dropped the take out container for Charlie when she noticed the two men arguing quietly in the corner of it. The wind picked up and both of them jerked to attention when her scent carried on the breeze. Paul looked at her with stony determination while Embry appeared impassive.
The day didn't get any better when she finally made it to the hospital to see Charlie. Bella found him waiting for her, fully dressed and ready to leave. You have got to be kidding me... "What's going on here, Dad?"
"I'm being sprung. The doc finally saw reason and said I can go home today. So, let's get out of here."
"Not so fast, Charlie Swan." Bella whipped her head around, startled to see Sue standing in the doorway. "For starters, you don't have your release papers yet. Second of all, I'm sure your daughter has things that she needs to do before she can take you home, right Bella?"
Bella shot her a grateful look. "Actually, she's right. I do. There is nothing in your house but cereal and beer. I need to hit up the grocery store unless you plan on starving. Clearly you've been living at the diner while I was away."
"Be sure to get him plenty of multi-grain items as well as salt substitute. I don't like his cholesterol numbers." Sue winked at Bella conspiratorially and as she walked out the door, whispered in her ear. "Just so you know, there's nothing wrong with his numbers. This is payback for being a lousy patient." Then she called over her shoulder loudly enough so Charlie could hear. "Oh and Bella, get him some metamucil and some ensure too. He's at that age."
It was all she could do to stifle her laughter when Charlie started groaning. I really hope they get together. Sue won't put up with his crap for a minute. Even down the hallway she could hear her father cursing when he opened up the take-out she brought expecting a juicy cheeseburger only to be met with bacons nemesis, the dreaded veggie-burger.
Grudgingly, she drove to the supermarket in an effort to fill up the pantry. Though the second she got into her truck, all Bella wanted to do was drive to La Push and find Jacob Black. It wasn't just that she was mystified by everything going on, nor that she was more than a little irritated with the pack right now.
I want to see him. Over the years she'd longed to feel his touch, to see his smile and hear his voice. There were so many things she wanted to tell him, share with him about her life and how things had changed for her. Adventures in bravery during college that she never thought herself capable of. He'd laugh at her failed attempts to dance at frat parties or the time she chickened out of a dare to jump off the high dive only to turn around seconds later and take the plunge. Jacob would be proud of what she accomplished and the work she was doing for Matt at the gallery. Damnit, Jake. Where are you? I miss you so much.
She had to fight not to turn the truck around and drive straight to the reservation. It was almost like she was being pulled in that direction. A strange kind of tug-of-war going on in her mind. If Bella had been able to put her finger on it, she would have known the reason behind it. Her heart, her home, the other half of her soul was running somewhere on four paws through the Olympic forest.
Walking through the aisles of the grocery store, Bella pondered it all. The situation at the diner had unnerved her. Paul unnerved her. The way he looked at her. As if he was seeing right through her. Like Embry had the night before. She felt an odd sense of deja vu. It was as if they were waiting for something.
Just as she had grabbed a carton of eggs, it hit her full force in the chest.
They looked at her the way Sam used to look at Jacob. Bella began to shake. They wanted something. Something only she could give.
Jacob.
The dreams.
Come to me...
Bella dropped the carton she was holding in her hands. Broken eggs leaked all over the floor. For the second time that day, the walls began to close in around her. She clutched at her chest, barely able to draw breath.
"Miss? Miss? Are you alright?" A gray-haired clerk stood next to her with a roll of paper towels. "It's just some eggs. No need to get upset. Happens all the time."
Closing her eyes, Bella centered herself, willing her frazzled nerves to calm down. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. SHIT!
Suddenly she snapped out of it, fell to her knees and snatched the roll of towels out of the store clerks hands. "I'm so sorry." She kept repeating it over and over again, although at this point it was a crapshoot as to who it was she was actually apologizing to.
The clerk laid a hand over hers, then looked into her tear-filled eyes with ones that reflected sympathy and understanding. Eyes that were warm, rich, and familiar. The color of melted chocolate. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
Bella cried the whole way home.