AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ah, fourth LONG chapter in a row since my year or so hiatus and I've got only ONE REVIEW since my mad updating spree (thanks baiser.moi). T.T And still I update...

EDIT: It was "in a row" back when I first started it. Sorry...

A Paradoxical Life

Chapter 10: Fantastic Feasts and How To Have Them

Sirius Black stood at the top of the tallest tower of Hogwarts, bright scarlet envelope in hand, taking in the beautiful evening landscape. He'd long since learned that this was the safest route to take to avoid a burning humiliation and deep resentment. The envelope had started smoking from the ends, Sirius dropped it on the ledge, sitting down with his back against the circular wall, hands clapped over his ears in anticipation.

A minute or so later, he removed his hands from around his ears. They were ringing in the sudden absence of sound. Yup, it was always the same. "Blood traitor...filth...disgrace to the name of Black..." the list went on. He could still remember the first Howler his mum had sent him. That was, perhaps, the most hurt he'd ever felt- or remembered feeling, at any rate. That was also when his perceptions of his loving mum first changed into the truth he'd come to realize.

He had written home excitedly the night of the Sorting Ceremony, unable to wait till morning before ringing in the good news to his mum that his fears really had been baseless. They weren't going to turn him away at the doors or, as cousin Andromeda had told him, make him do complex magics to test his worthiness. He'd been sorted into Gryffindor House, and lots of people had cheered for him. Scrawling a quick note in the haphazard penmanship of an eleven year old, he sent the owl he'd received as a present straight back home.

Two days later, to his confusion, it returned during breakfast in the Great Hall with a bright scarlet envelope tied to its legs. Everyone had stared, knowing that someone was going to be in for it. So it was impossible to NOT have been the talk of the next few days. The contents always read the same. He was suddenly a blood traitor, filthy scum, smearing the name of the honorable house of his birth. It appeared that suddenly, by being sorted into Gryffindor, he had committed some sort of crime that warranted immediate removal of all loving feelings from his mother.

That time, the shock had overridden his instincts to run and he'd sat there dumbfounded as she verbally whipped him. But he was no longer eleven and he no longer made such mistakes. He was fairly clear on the timing now. Usually she sent him these little reminders when she felt he'd be most humiliated, Halloween, Valentine's Day, September 1, his birthday, any day that there were likely to be lots of students to hear her and jeer at him later. But he'd figured her out.

So this was the best way he'd found, through trial and error. The height of the Astronomy tower ensured that most of her vocals were lost by the time they hit the grounds.

Stretching, he turned, sweeping the charred remains of the Howler into his palm. He sat on his knees, arms pillowing his head as he stared out over the grounds, Hagrid's hut, the lake, the Forbidden Forest, and over in the distance, Hogsmeade. He felt unusually deep in thought once again, and wondered what might've triggered these weird moods.

He thought about this being his last year at Hogwarts. He'd be on his own, after this. Where would he wind up? What about his friends? Remus was likely to get far in life, he was already mentally stable. He'd left the trappings of youth behind him soon after he'd been bitten, but he knew what kind of man he was. He knew his limits and what he wanted and there was just an aura of stability around him. It felt like he was already a man while they were still struggling to become so.

But even James was further along the road than he, Sirius was. As soon as Lily gave him the green light, they were going to get married and pop out little Potter Jrs. at the speed of light, he knew. The private joke made him chuckle, some. Yea, James would probably be 99 before he died, with a dozen kids and fifty thousand grand children. That oughta make him happy. And again there was the striking difference between James and Sirius: even though James wasn't above a prank or detention, he knew what he wanted from life (Lily), and where he wanted to go from there (marriage, kids, grandkids, the works).

Sirius Black would be an orphan, for all intents and purposes, after his stint at Hogwarts. Sure his grades were stellar, but who'd hire a wizard with a problem history longer than the Hogwarts Express? Plus there was the taboo of being shunned from an ancient and most noble house. Whatever the aura around the Blacks, theirs was still an old and respected house which commanded the ears of many important witches and wizards. Why did it mean so much to his Mum that he be a Slytherin? It was just a house. That didn't necessarily mean he'd end up like the rest of the family...she'd always joked (back when she was still lighthearted with him) that he was a softie. What made her think his Hogwarts House would change that?

Thinking on these things, Sirius admitted privately to himself that it was kind of a big deal that Fey was relatively okay. After all, she had Snape and Lucious in all her classes, in her dorm and at her table in the Great Hall. She still wasn't as bad as them, whatever he tried to make her out as. He really needed to get his act together- what prompted him to pick on her so much? He sighed and glanced down to where the book from earlier lay, with the bit of parchment placed on top of it.

She seriously thought him unpleasant enough to consider not going with Remus because of their friendship. He smirked. Well, no one could say he didn't leave an impression, eh? Getting up and dusting himself off, he opened the book at random, intending to stick the parchment in there for safekeeping until such time as he saw Fey again, but the heading caught his eye.

WHAT DID THESE WITCHES HAVE?

The witches featured in this book were not good girls. Nor were they inherently evil. It is all good and well to be either of the two, however, what these witches commanded was a respect- from wizards particularly. Not only because of their physical beauty, but their resilience and determination to never back down from a challenge. Furthermore, their determination to never be intimidated, least of all by wizards. There is something that wizards find irresistible in this. Perhaps it is from the thrill of chasing a witch he can never truly catch- particularly in regards to mental prowess-

Sirius found himself reading and feeling decidedly hot under the proverbial collar for some reason. What was this- a book from the loony bin? Still, he couldn't keep himself from reading the paragraph over, twice, and then the last few sentences again. The description certainly reminded him of someone in particular, but he felt certain that he was not "chasing" said witch. Certain. Something nagged in the back of his head and he returned to his perch to clear his head and leave no doubts.

"Okay," he voiced aloud. "According to this here queer book, the witches weren't good girls- well, duh, she didn't stick through her detention, and I caught her in the kitchens that one time... Let's see...'nor were they inherently evil'- ha! She soo is!"

Weren't you just thinking about how no, she's really not earlier? his brain reminded him.

"Ughh!" he groaned. He quickly glanced at the next section- respect commanding. Well, he certainly didn't respect her! So that was that.

What do you call wanting to thank her for tutoring Regulus? You thank people often, do you?

Grrr...his mind was really pushing his buttons. "What's next already? Hm...'Not only'...hm...'physical beauty'...err...right." He could just hear his brain smirking. "Whatever- next! Resilience and determination...well, she's got enough of that to fill a hippogriff! Damn it all if she doesn't act like she could care less about my jinxing skills, too. Brain, this is not looking too good now, is it?"

No, you dumb bloke, it doesn't. But it all really just depends on your perspective.

"She's Slytherin, remember?"

It's kind of disgusting that you, of all people, have been harping on about this from day one, isn't it?

Sirius didn't answer himself, or challenge the rest of the paragraph, but he and his head both knew he didn't have to. Some things were becoming clearer but he wasn't sure he wanted them to be. "Y'know, it was a lot easier when I just picked on her for being Slytherin."

Everything's easier before you grow up, his mind remarked sagely.

It was a decidedly different Sirius Black that sat down to breakfast that morning. There was no hefty grin on his face, he seemed determined to win a staring contest with his porridge, and he hadn't said a word to any of his friends beyond "Morning".

"Sirius is being weird again," Pettigrew noted through his third glass of pumpkin juice. At the mention of his name, Black blinked and looked up. He seemed to remember something off hand and turned to Remus.

"You get those robes ironed out again?"

"Hm? Oh, yea, why?"

"No reason. I would've done them if you hadn't."

Remus lifted an eyebrow. "Oh yea?"

"Yea."

"Cool."

They returned to their meal, although the werewolf cast several side long glances at his friend and exchanged a few with Potter. There was definitely something up with their mate, but Lupin wasn't sure it was an entirely bad thing. After all, it may just be that Black had finally (against all bets) hit his mental growth spurt, and his brain was now calculating things like other people's feelings into it's previously limited scope of consideration. As Black deftly grabbed the Prophet out of Pettigrew's grasp and turned to the comics section, Lupin reminded himself it was best not to hope too much too soon.

Breakfast was thus a relatively quiet affair. As everyone began to evacuate the Great Hall, Sirius glanced across the room to where someone was gathering her things up. "I'll catch up with you guys in a bit," he told his friends, then made his way through the crowds to the Slytherin end.

She wasn't expecting anybody, so as she swung her messenger bag over her shoulder, she turned swiftly and nearly ran into Black. Stumbling back slightly, she glanced up at him briefly.

"Hi," he said. He was feeling a tad more nervous than he let on, although that could've been his body's natural reflex to being surrounded by so many Slytherins at one time. She frowned an eyebrow at him and moved to pass him up. He moved with her, blocking her.

Rianna let out a mental sigh. He just kept getting weirder, didn't he? She looked down and decided the fastest way to end this and get to her dorm to get ready would be to play along. Honestly, he was like some little, spoiled brat. "What do you want?" she asked him.

"Nothing, I just thought maybe we should start over."

"Okay." She looked over his shoulder- partly to indicate that she felt the conversation was very much over and partly to assess whether she might make a run for it after all. There was a slight, frustrating pause. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well, what're you here for? Shouldn't you be wreaking havoc on some innocent kids or something? Preferably somewhere blissfully far away from the dungeons?"

"Don't worry- it's on my to-do list." He grinned and pocketed his hands casually. He looked for all the world as though he fully expected to spend a nice chatty evening delaying her. Maybe that was his plan- he'd make her super late and then she'd have puffy red eyes or bad hair or...or wrinkly robes or something. Lame as it sounded, she felt if he was desperate enough, he just might.

"Ahem, speaking of lists..." he trailed as he pulled out a bit of parchment from his robes. "I thought maybe you might be missing this." He handed her the slip of paper and his eyes were laughing at him much more than his grin.

She gave the paper a cursory glance and then did a double take. Her mouth nearly fell open and her heart rate sped up. How on earth did Black, of all people, manage to get his hands on this specific list? A list she'd made randomly and hardly remembered until now. Did every embarrassing thing truly have to happen to her?

"I thought it was pretty funny," Black commented, in an offhand sort of way. She really didn't need this right now.

Gritting her teeth, she attempted a strained sort of smile. "Oh really? Well it's just a list, nothing overly hilarious." She crumpled it roughly in her hand and shoved it into her bag.

"Yea, but it's a pretty particular list, isn't it? You do that for every little thing you're going to do?" He laughed as he infuriatingly fell into step beside her. He mimed writing in the air, "'Reasons to use the bathroom'...-"

"Ugh- you are so crude!" the firewitch shot at him as he laughed at his own joke.

"Yea, but I'm pretty funny too, eh?"

"No, you're not!"

"Well, I must be pretty something, you mentioned me what- three times on your list?"

She'd mentioned him four times, actually, but there was no way she'd be the one to tell him that. "You are something, but it isn't funny. It's obnoxious, immature, arrogant and great big prat. Good day." She turned down the last hall and climbed up into the entrance behind the shield, huffy and not in the good mood she'd hoped to be in.

Sirius nearly laughed as he watched Fey's retreating back. This was almost more fun than being a jerk. He had intended to apologize (again), but decided to go easy on himself- even holding a jinx-free conversation with Slytherin was kind of a big deal for him.

As he was returning to the Gryffindor common room, he passed his cousin, Bellatrix. The girl had a firmly cold look planted on her face, and this was partly due to their mutual disdain, but it was also partly for the benefit of the two friends that flanked her.

The male Black grinned. "Yoo hoo! Cousin Bellatrix!" He force-fed as much enthusiasm as he could, just for the sheer pleasure of her infuriation. He noted delightedly that his cousin's hand was straying quite welcomingly closer to her pocket, and there were a set of jinxes Sirius was itching to use on her.

"Why look, it's the lesser Black," a blonde, curly-haired friend tittered.

Sirius pulled his wand out at the same instant that he glanced condescendingly at the girl. He knew if Bellatrix thought his attention were misplaced for even a half-second, she'd waste no time in exploiting the opportunity.

The jets of light bounded off one another, the walls and random suits of armor. The headache-induced cacophony that followed would bring Filtch running. Being an exceptionally gifted student had its perks. For example, Sirius had long since mastered nonverbal spells, while average students like Bellatrix were only beginning to practice them.

As his venomous cousin emerged from behind one of her friends, whom she'd used as a human shield, Sirius hit her with one of his recently favorite spells. Immediately, Bellatrix's feet were swept from under her and pulled into the air as though by invisible ropes. She shrieked and dropped her wand, frantically trying to keep her robes from sliding right off her head. Her friends, though helping, were trying not to laugh at the spectacle themselves.

Sirius had no such manners, himself. He stared openly at Bellatrix hanging upside down, virtually in her underwear and laughed until he nearly cried.

"SIRIUS!" Bellatrix shrieked. "I swear- one day, I'm going to watch you die!"

The one addressed shrugged. "You can watch me in the loo, for all I care, cousin," he answered. "As long as I'm laughing my arse off while it happens, it'll be time well spent." As Filtch's wheezing and yelling grew louder, Sirius skipped away from the scene. Bellatrix's mates were quick to follow his example.

Smiling in satisfaction, Black gave the fat lady the password thinking thinking if Bellatrix and Snape got together, they could do a great many things upside down.

Disappointingly enough, a very tame and G-rated game of Exploding Snap was being carried out by Remus and Peter in the crowded common room. James was haphazardly scrawling something on a length of parchment looking none too happy.

"Homework?" Sirius asked politely.

James scowled. "Hardly. Eleven inches of lines because I laughed at your cheek in Muggle Studies. Honestly is that even allowed?"

The raven-haired youth patted his friend's shoulder. "Don't worry. Stuff like that won't be happening much now."

James rolled his eyes. "Highly unlikely. Ugh! I'm writing as big as I can without looking like I am. Hey, think she'll notice?"

While Sirius examined the lettering, the card castle on the next table exploded spectacularly, cutting Peter's eyebrow and nicking everyone else in the vicinity.

"It's fine, Prongs," Sirius commented, tossing the parchment aside, having just been hit with a brilliant idea. "Hey, let's celebrate Moony's final days as a man with a little Strip Goldfish!" he announced to the room at large. The other marauders, as well as the rest of the fairly packed common room raised their eyebrows, glancing at Remus in concern.

"Er, has he decided to switch teams, then?" Candace Dottry, a sixth year, laughed.

Remus sighed. He thought that perhaps even without lycanthrophy, his chances of a relationship would still be slim to none. With friends as tactfully flattering as his... But no matter, Sirius was explaining his weird self.

All eyes were on Sirius (as they usually were) as he replied, "Who knows- with all the attention he'll be receiving from the ladies, he may well have to resort to it."

"Sirius, if this is about Rianna, I already told you, we're only dates for the evening, it's nothing serious."

"Ah, yes, my friend, so one would think," Padfoot began wisely, slinging an arm around Remus's neck. "But you see, as soon as word gets out that good old Lupin is on the market, you're going to be swarmed with offers and yummy chocolates." As the room laughed and Remus rolled his eyes, Sirius continued, adopting a high, breathy voice and hanging on to Remus's neck with both arms. "Have you seen his gorgeous eyes? They're so sad and deep yet still piercing- what a sex bomb!"

Remus shoved Sirius away, scowling slightly. "You know it's really disturbing that you can say these things with a straight face and think of them so quickly."

"Think of them?! Nonono, dear Remus, these horrendous words are not the lovechild of my thoughts. You see, I have eyes. No, these traumatizing tidbits are things I'm forced to hear on an increasingly frequent basis from girls in every year." Frowning, he added, "I'm starting to think they do it near me on purpose, hoping I'll drop you hints- ...Oh. Duh."

"Oh, knock if off, Sirius, seriously."

"Oh, hey, there she is- look! You can ask her yourself right now! Hey little girl! Did you or did you not moon over Remus's eyes?" he inquired of someone over Remus's shoulder. The girl let out a squeal and raced up the girl's dormitory, face covered in her hands. Remus caught a glimpse of honey blonde hair before she disappeared behind a slammed door.

The poor werewolf raised his hands in a sign of submission and announced for the record that he never took anything Padfoot said seriously. "And now I, for one, am going to the library." Mustering up the remains of his dignity, he strode purposefully to the portrait hole and disappeared behind it.

"Well," Sirius yawned. "That's no fun. I'm going to bed."

"Didn't you just wake up about an hour ago?" James demanded.

"Yea. But a man needs his energy, you know. Plus if I end up stuck with Filtch, you know what that does to a person." He desperately hoped he wouldn't have to help Filtch. Sometimes, Sirius thought that perhaps the old caretaker had really gone 'round the bend. At any given detention, Sirius might look up, only to find his every action observed closely by a pair of fanatically gleaming orbs. Maybe he'd drop Dumbledore a few hints about having him replaced.

When Sirius dropped heavily on to the scarlet sheets of his four-poster, it was to deeper thoughts than Filtch's fanaticism. Instead, he mused on the coming holidays. He'd like nothing better than to take the Express straight to the Potters', but he knew his mum always had that welcoming banquet the day after. Every bloody Slytherin would be invited to that horrible affair. It would be the nightmare of nightmares. He wasn't fool enough to miss it- at least not until he was properly finished with school.

Sirius sighed and turned over, eventually drifting off to a light nap.

"For the millionth time, Moony, you look absolutely spiffy. Now, if you'd kindly move away from the portrait hole, we can all proceed as planned." The three marauders filed solemnly out of the Gryffindor common room: Remus in his worn, gray dress robes- immaculately pressed; James in his bottle green ones; and Peter in his slightly wrinkled blue ones.

"So, you never mentioned you had a date," Moony commented, glancing sidelong at Prongs as they made their way to the Entrance Hall. "And what's with the green robes?"

"I wanted to be open in case Lily changed her mind. And I got these robes specially for the occasion. See, they're the same color as her eyes. They'd totally accentuate how beautiful they are when we stand next to each other."

"You're a lost cause, mate," Remus assured his obsessive friend. "Who's she going with?"

"Pfft, ionno, some Chester Pharlan."

"Chester Pharlan? Who's that?"

"Pssh...how do you expect me to know? Some sixth year from Ravenclaw. About this high-" he indicated the general region of his nose- "dirty blond hair, ugly blue eyes, walks around looking like he's permanently sun burned."

"Tsk, tsk. You're slacking off. Don't you know his blood type and birthday yet?"

"Type O, February 22."

"I was being sarcastic."

"..."

As Remus walked down the stairs, his eyes roved the multicolored crowd for Rianna, but as he didn't know what she was wearing, he had to wait for her to wave him over. He had to admit, she cleaned up impressively.

Her (currently) black hair was piled on the back of her head in a would-be messy know, except it looked elegant. The hair itself looked damp, although he was sure it wasn't. Her asymmetrically colored eyes were lined heavily, but extremely tastefully in black liner, which tapered gracefully in the direction of her temples. It gave her a very catty look.

The lavender dress robes had floral embroidery in a darker hue cascading diagonally from one shoulder down to her waist. The same pattern was repeated at the long, tapering cuffs of her sleeves. The material was such that it accentuated all the right places and the full, flowing skirt of the robes moved pleasantly when she walked.

"Wow! You look- am-amazing, really!" Remus exclaimed, truly meaning the words.

She grinned and ducked her head. "I don't clean up half bad, do I? And might I say that you cut a dashing figure yourself? Excellent color, that steel gray." She nodded like a fashion guru passing judgment.

Just then a relatively gloomy James stopped dead in his tracks. "Whoa." He gave Rianna a quick once over, then raised his eyebrows appreciatively at Remus. "Lucky, lucky..." Remus sighed, although he did feel secretly pleased at his having somehow acquired such an attractive date.

"Shall we?" he asked, extending his arm to the young firewitch, who smiled and accepted. More than a few heads turned or did double takes as the pair walked into the Great Hall.

Lupin had anticipated escorting Rianna to the Slytherin table. However, instead of the typical house tables, plush picnic tables had been set up in varying seating options from two to a table to a maximum of eight. He lead her to a table for two near the perimeter and helped her to her seat before seating himself.

Rianna felt like a million galleons. She couldn't keep herself from grinning like an idiot. The stress of school was melting away. Annoying persons were kept at bay, the sky in the Great Hall was an enchantingly clear fantasy, the house elves had outdone themselves in the kitchens, Remus looked like an incredibly handsome gentleman and was a great conversationalist. Things really couldn't get any better.

"So I was reading this book a while ago, and apparently, there's a roaring black market of sham wizarding goods sold to muggles."

"Oh yea? How does that work out?"

"Well, remember that television thing we just learned about?" When Remus nodded, she continued. "Some wizards make these products, charm them, then have people demonstrate them in the television. But of course, the charms are either temporary, or only placed on the demo items."

The werewolf laughed and finished, "So that when the poor muggles order the items, they don't actually work as advertised. Sad story."

"It actually sounded pretty funny to me."

"Speaking of television, how exactly do they get themselves in there without magic? They're tiny box-type things, aren't they?"

"Yea...you know, I really don't know." Beat. "It may have something to do with wires," she concluded confidently.

Remus laughed. "Everything muggle has to do with wires! Excellent insight there."

Rianna chuckled, "Ah, well...it was worth a try. There was always the chance you don't pay attention in Muggle Studies."

It was nearing the end of the feast when Remus cleared his throat slightly. "Ahem. So, ah, Rianna, what're you doing over the holiday?"

She sighed. "Bleh, absolutely nothing. I bum out at home and mum always ropes me into cleaning house with her. The greatest adventure of my holidays is avoiding that fate." She pulled a face to show what she thought of the prospect.

"You know, if you'd like, I'd love to meet over breaks and such."

"Mmm?" Rianna asked coyly, wiggling her eyebrows. "ReemyWeemy, is that a date I hear?"

He laughed lightheartedly and shook his head slightly, "Noo..." The thousand floating candles really sparkled in his eyes as he glanced at her. She reflected that perhaps she'd never seen him look quite this happy before. He was always politely mild about everything.

"In the interests of our new found friendship and your sanity, I must accept the invite," she proclaimed grandly.

"Ah, but will you toast to it?" he wanted to know, lifting his goblet of pumpkin juice in question. They clinked and drank down the cool concoction.

Rianna was feeling quite grown up. The food was starting to disappear and soft music wafted down from the transparent ceiling. "Hey, wanna dance?" she asked as the tables began to glide against the walls.

"Err, I have a confession to make."

"You can't dance?" she guessed.

"Correct."

"Men always think it's a big deal or something. Trust me- it's like the easiest thing in the world. Especially slow dancing. You just revolve slowly on the spot, most of the time."

"Can we wait until the dance floor is a tad crowded first?" A slight, anxious note rang in his voice, endearingly.

"Sure, sure," Rianna assured him.

So they waited. And waited. It seemed no one wanted to be the first ones. The teachers glanced around nervously near the front, perhaps feeling they should lead by example and not wanting to. Dumbledore had his eyes closed, passive smile on his face as he enjoyed the pleasant music.

An irritated voice raised itself from near the doors. "Well, this kinda sucks, doesn't it?" Murmurs ran through the assembled crowd- there were about twenty teachers here! The crowd parted to reveal a bored looking (of course) Sirius Black.

He strode through the crowd, grabbed a girl at random away from her date and declared, "And now, Candace- we dance!" Rianna noted through her surprise that the girl looked quite flattered. She looked over at her date, shrugged and motioned to Sirius as though to say, "Well- it's Sirius Black! Sorry."

Black immediately swung her around, clasping her close enough that certain teachers pursed their lips and glanced away. From this vantage point, Sirius looked straight into the pleasantly shocked Candace's eyes and let out a sex purr. (A/N: Okay, everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about ;))

The room erupted into scandalous laughter, with various students checking to see how the teachers reacted. The shocked expression on Candace's face was only surpassed by the redness of her face. Sirius himself couldn't keep from laughing out loud. In this state, he began an obnoxiously quick cheek-to-cheek trot, which of course, sent everyone (including the dancing pair), into renewed fits of laughter.

By the time they'd dance-trotted up to the teachers' end, turned illegally sharply and dance-trotted back down to their starting point, they were doubled up in laughter. Black generously returned Candace to her date with an impressive bow, then scanned the room.

Rianna felt her sides seize up, and she covered her stomach with her hands as though to keep it from exploding. Beside her, Remus was in a similar state of helplessness, doubled over with his hands on his knees. It was strange, but she was actually glad that Black was here- this could be a record.

The firewitch thought he'd be hard pressed to outdo himself after that spectacle, but she thought wrong. Black looked around the Great Hall, did a double take and grinned.

The students immediately glanced in the direction Sirius was now striding towards and gasped collectively. Rianna felt her eyes widen. "He wouldn't," she intoned firmly.

"Merlin's Beard, Sirius!" Remus moaned quietly, knowing his mate much better than Rianna. He let his face drop into his hand, but quickly lifted it again, eager to see how this would turn out.

"The reason I think muggles invented telephones and televisions to pass the time," Sirius began dramatically, falling to one knee before the Muggle Studies professor. "Is because they don't have a beautiful woman such as yourself to dance with."

The room erupted in laughter, wolf whistles and many a "ooOOoooh's". The mortified Professor, for her part, blushed profusely, covered her mouth with her hands and shook her head, grinning like a schoolgirl.

In the next instant, she'd been swept off her feet by the scandalous student. With a nod from the highly amused headmaster, the music immediately became a boisterous waltz.

Rianna wasn't the only one who couldn't believe what'd just happened. "Good Lord, he's really done it this time!" Remus yelled in her ear over the noise of the students. But he was grinning and cheering no less than anyone else.

"See here, Black!" Professor McGonagall cut in sharply, giving Sirius a stern look. "You have a detention with me today, and I fully expect you to be there."

"Aw, no need to be jealous, Minerva!" Sirius laughed, as he and the Muggle Studies professor approached. Swinging one arm around her and the other around McGonagall, he added, "There's plenty of Sirius to go around."

"Merlin's. Pants."

Remus was right. Rianna believed- actually believed that Professor McGonagall was having a heart attack. The shell shocked look on her face would have lead anyone to believe she were merely an upright corpse. If the sight of Black dancing with her anyway hadn't been so amusing, there would have been an absolute silence. As it were, none of the students had ever seen McGonagall perform a dip before (personally, if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, Rianna would have said it was impossible).

Dumbledore tapped Sirius on the shoulder as he came up from said dip. "May I cut in?" he asked, blue eyes shining in a way that suggested he hadn't enjoyed himself so much in a looong time.

"Certainly," Black replied and twirled her into Dumbledore's arms. Nearby students could hear her fighting for coherence and spluttering with an absolute loss for words. Giving the two authoritative figures a wide berth, the rest of the student body blended onto the dance floor.

The music changed to something upbeat and Rianna turned eagerly to Remus, but he fidgeted with his robes and instead, complained that this wasn't a slow song and there was no way he was going to dance to it. "Oh, Remus- in light of our new found friendship! For the friendship!" she declared.

"Rianna, I don't think that's a good-"

"Okay, you can't look any more ridiculous than Black," she pointed out to her date for the evening. At his defeated look, the firewitch added, "You dance now and I will acquiesce to one of your demands as well. Then we'll be even, right?" The werewolf shrugged, grinned and let himself be lead away.

In all truthfulness he really didn't do much but stand around and maybe sway a little bit, bob his head a bit here and there, throughout that particular number. He tried to discreetly glance around at how the other males were handling it and found, to his relief, that few were better off than he was. There seemed to be a silent, mutual agreement between all of them that this was a torture they just had to put up with. Occasionally, two males would catch sight of each other, both feeling equally ridiculous in the position they found themselves. A curt nod of understanding was all that was necessary.

The only guys that seemed to be enjoying themselves were doing things that Remus would never even consider- not in a million years. For example, Remus noted with some level of concern that that was the second time Chester Pharlan had attempted to pull his date, Lily, to him from behind and rub his midsection against her. Remus almost felt like dying of embarrassment just from watching- where did that pimply weirdo get the courage to do something so bold?

Lily frowned and shoved him aside roughly, but Remus wondered if he'd gotten the point or not.

Rianna caught sight of something and nudged Remus, pointing with her eyebrows. Glancing up, Remus grinned as he watched a furious looking McGonagall drag a protesting Sirius Black out of the Great Hall. "That's too bad," the girl noted. "He's the one that started up the party, after all."

"Want something to drink?" Remus asked hopefully.

Rianna laughed, "Not particularly, but if you really want to use the excuse, go ahead." He smiled a thank you and headed towards the refreshments table.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I actually had most of this done a looong while ago, but the ending needed a little bit of work and plus, I'd lost motivation. I still haven't gotten reviews T.T Pwease...help this starving author! (I'm starving for reviews, btw XD) Also, there's definitely more to the dance and all but this was already getting super long, and I decided to split up the whole day into separate chapters. Review and the next one will hopefully come out sooner!