Love and Lost Love

Corbeau awoke just before dawn. In the weak gray light she could see the baby laying on Renji's bare chest as he slept. Her hand reached out to touch the silky soft head of her newborn baby girl. She smiled when the baby stirred making a contented sighing sound as her father's arms tightened around her protectively to hold her. Since those two were asleep and satisfied with where they were, she decided to go take a shower. The hot water felt great on her tired sore body after her long excruciating ordeal of bringing her baby into this world. She sighed loudly with gratification because the pain had been worth the precious bundle that lay in her husband's arms.

"Mama?" Renji called as she luxuriated in the heat of the water. "Someone needs you."

Upon hearing the baby's cries she felt a pain shoot through her full breasts. Her body was already responding to the baby's need as the milk began to leak from her nipples.

"Oh, my!" her husband exclaimed when he saw it. "Isn't that an interesting problem?"

Corbeau wrapped the towel around her waist, carefully taking the baby from him. She sat down in the bed with her back against the wall. Her attention was completely on the baby while her husband carefully sat down next to her to watch. He could be so childlike and cute sometimes with his insatiable curiosity. Once the baby was latched onto her correctly she looked at her husband who was staring at her face with fascination.

"Renji, what is it?" she inquired, reaching out to touch his cheek.

"You're just so beautiful, baby. I see you every day so sometimes I forget just how wonderful you are and how much I love you," he said, leaning forward to kiss her on the lips.

What a hopeless romantic! Oh, how Corbeau loved him. Her tough, savage looking husband with a gooey sentimental heart. The first time she saw him, she never would have imagined just how sensitive he is.

"Oh, darling, I love you too," she rejoined, kissing him again. She looked down at the baby in her arms realizing she had not yet had a chance to get acquainted with her newborn daughter.

The baby was soft and plump with skin that felt like the smoothest silk. A barely visible bright red fuzz covered her head. 'Just like daddy, how wonderful,' Corbeau thought. Her mind wondered what eye color the child had. She was hoping for a pair of brown eyes like her father's and not darker than black inky pools like hers. She never liked her eyes because they were so much like a raven's and different than human eyes. Oh, well, why quibble over eye color when she had wings for goodness sake. Wings. While she was moving the baby to her other breast, she carefully slid her fingers across the infant's back around her shoulder blades.

"Oh, no," she gasped when she felt the distinct hard protrusions under the delicate skin. Allete would be like her – she would have wings. Tears slid down her cheeks as she held the baby tighter against her body. "I'm sorry, my baby, I'm so so sorry."

"Corbeau, honey, what is it?" Renji asked, moving closer to her to pull her into his arms. He was confused and frightened by her actions. She should be happy; he had seen tears of joy and the ones she cried were anything but joyful. Those tears on her face were bitter and full of hurt.

"She's going to have wings, Renji. She's going to be like me," she sobbed, rocking back and forth gently.

"Oh, Raven how is that a bad thing?" He pulled her head down to his shoulder, carefully enclosing her and the baby with his arms.

"I know what she will have to endure. I know the pain she will have not just emotionally but physically. You can't imagine the pain our little girl will be going through when the wings start to grow," she wailed, looking down at the innocent child in her arms. She remembers the physical torture she suffered to this day. The bones growing and pushing constantly against her skin until one day they break through and the blood will pour until the skin is finally able to heal itself. Day by day, millimeter by millimeter, the bones continue to grow, sprouting feathers and shedding feathers as they get bigger. It's painful and terrifying all at the same time not just to the child but everyone around her.

At least her baby will have someone who understands, who knows what she is going through, and will be able to help her through it. Corbeau never had that. She was surrounded by fear, disgust, and rejection on a daily basis. Not just from strangers but by her parents, especially her mother. Her father took an interest in her that was purely scientific, treating her like just another one of his test subjects. She was one of his prized science experiments. At least Allete would not have to suffer that emotional pain.

Corbeau smiled with the thought that her baby would be surrounded by a huge loving family who would not only except her but they were like her. They were freaks and weirdos and physically deformed. They had been mercilessly teased and bullied and abused. They knew and understood what she is. They would love Allete and accept her with open arms just like they had her mother. After being rejected and despised by 'normal' people, they had formed their own separate society that lived parallel to everyone else.

"Baby, it will be okay. Don't worry. Things are different for her than they were for you," Renji murmured, holding her and the baby close.

"You are so right. Things will always be different for her and this is a good thing," she said, kissing her sweet daughter's cheek.

"So when do you want to have another one?"

"Ask me a few months from now."

Corbeau lay on her belly on the blanket playing with her six month old daughter. She blew on the baby's tummy while each melodious giggle from the child made her tingle with delight. She was so happy. A smile spread across her face when Ichigo appeared with his clone that was nearly two years old running at his heels.

"Oooh, Ayet," Isshin yelled running toward them. Ichigo had named the baby to honor his father.

Corbeau quickly sat up on her knees to hold out her arms to catch the orange haired ball of energy. She laughed as he gave her a wet kiss on the cheek then proceeded to wiggle out of her arms to get to the baby. "Be careful now. She's not as big as you are remember," she told the sweet little boy.

"I yuv hu, Auntie, I not hut hu," he said in his cute little baby voice. He had trouble pronouncing his L's and R's but at this age it was so precious.

Corbeau just wanted to pinch his chubby little cheeks as he smiled at her and blinked his big brown eyes.

"Hi, Angel," Ichigo said, kissing her on the cheek that wasn't covered with his son's drool. "She's so pretty. Just like you." He watched his son lie down on his tummy beside the baby and lay his head right next to hers. Allete laughed loudly and reached for his nose.

"I think he's in love. Should we go ahead and make a betrothal agreement, Dad?" she asked, giggling a little.

"I don't see why not. I think they would be perfect for each other," he responded with a smile on his face. The smile disappeared and he became very sad and somber looking. "Corbeau, I need to talk to you. Something bad has happened."

"What is it?" she inquired, leaning toward him. She chewed her lower lip anxiously when saw the tears forming in his eyes. "What is it?" she repeated when it seemed he was never going to speak.

"She's gone. When I woke up this morning, there was a note and all of her stuff is missing. Orihime left me," he stated in a low voice where only they could hear.

"Oh, no," she gasped, moving closer to put her arms around him. "Does anyone else know?"

"I talked to Renji first. Other than you two, no one else knows. Isshin keeps asking for his mama, and it just keeps breaking my heart. What do I tell him?" His eyes held hers pleading with her to give him an answer.

"I-I don't know, sweetie," she stammered, reaching out to wipe away the single tear that fell. "Did she tell you why?"

"Something about her lawyer cutting her off. A lawyer has been her legal guardian since her parents were killed years ago and has been taking care of her. He had been funneling money into an account for her the whole time she's been with me. I guess he thought it was a passing fascination for her and she would eventually come back home. He didn't want his princess to suffer in the meantime until she came back to her senses. She's headed back home. She said she didn't want anything to do with me or the baby anymore," he murmured tearing apart pieces of grass. He furiously swiped at the tear that snaked down his cheek.

"Oh, Ichigo," she whispered, laying her hand against his cheek. "I'll help you any way I can. If you need me to take care of Isshin for a while I can. Whatever you need me to do."

Corbeau was thinking that there surely must be more to this story. The two of them were so happy together. She could not think about Orihime's motives at this time because Ichigo was sitting in front of her needing her help. What could she possibly do?

"I knew I could count on you. Thank you." He leaned forward to kiss her cheek, then moved to her lips.

"Please, don't. You're hurting right now and I understand that. Don't make it worse." She watched the bright pink color rise up his neck and spread across his whole face.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Do you mind if we keep talking?" he asked, unable to meet her gaze due to the humiliation from his rash action. He was glad she was patient and understanding.

"Go ahead. Talk all you need to."

'Well, isn't this a pretty picture?' Renji thought to himself. He was pushing down the jealousy that threatened to boil over within in him. He stared at the touching scene that was set before him. His wife lay on her side with their child resting on her outstretched wing. His best friend's head was lying disturbingly close to her breasts as he lay next to her with his son cuddled against him. All four were asleep. He felt terrible for Ichigo since his wife had just deserted him and his child. The poor man looked so sad and weary even in his sleep.

"Angel," Renji whispered in Corbeau's ear after he knelt down beside her.

"Hi, honey. I'm sorry. It was nap time for the children, and we accidently fell asleep with them," she said.

Renji picked up Allete holding her securely against his chest. He rubbed his lips across here velvety head enjoying the ticklish feeling across his lips from her hair. After they stood up, he took her hand to lead her several feet away so they could talk without disturbing the other two.

"How is he?" he asked.

"Okay. All things considered. He's upset and confused. Wounded and hurting obviously. He cried some. He was even able to laugh a little as he reminisced. I wish I knew what to do to help him," she murmured, looking over at him. She was glad he was finding some peace while sleeping.

"Corbeau, stay away from him," Renji stated in a stern voice that surprised her.

"What?" she asked, completely confused. Ichigo was her friend too.

"Let me explain so you'll understand. He's hurting bad and at times like these it's not a good thing for a man and a woman to be alone. Things happen. Do you know what I mean?" he inquired, gazing into her eyes to make sure she did.

Corbeau nodded. She knew exactly what he meant. This was how affairs happened. If a man and woman are alone together and offered comfort when one is suffering emotionally, it inevitably makes them lovers and causes more broken hearts. It came close earlier. If they had been somewhere alone and secluded that simple kiss would have been the beginning of the end. Ichigo had just lost his wife. Renji had no intention of losing his.