Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE OUTSIDERS.
Soda/Ponyboy's POV's:
(A/N: Soda's voice is in italics. It just made more sense to combine them into one final chapter. Now maybe I'll even be able to move on to something new.)
I'd seen the piece of paper. I even knew without asking why Darry had left it there. But I just couldn't bring myself to go. I also couldn't ask Soda to do this again. It had been harder for him than I'd expected when we'd gone to see Johnny, and even though I'd never tell him this, seeing him break down like that had made it harder for me. But every time I passed the piece of paper, I could hear Dally's voice yelling at me, telling me not to go back into that church…
I know I have to go see Dally. I also know that it'll be just as hard as it was when I went to see Johnny. But Pony just walks around the house, avoiding the coffee table and avoiding eye contact whenever anyone gets anywhere near mentioning either of their names. I can't imagine that he doesn't want to go, but I just … don't want to ask. I feel guilty, but I just can't. After we left the cemetery that day we went to see Johnny, I think I knew that I probably wouldn't have gotten so bad if I'd been alone.
Two Bit came over late last night with bloodshot eyes, and even though he'd tried to act like he was drunk, I knew better. He didn't get that haunted look from drinking. There was only one explanation for where he could have been. And I guess that's what shamed into going to the cemetery myself the next day. If Two Bit could go… well, I didn't see how I could put it off any longer. Track practice was cancelled, so I just walked there after school. I knew Darry would probably yell at me if he knew I was out walking by lonesome again, but I didn't think a lot of Soc's would be hanging around by the cemetery, waiting to find me. They wanted to avoid that place just as much as we did.
For some reason, Two Bit showed up last night looking for all the world like he'd been crying again. I knew I was the only one who'd be able to recognize that look for what it really was, and so did he because he avoided eye contact with me until he was about to leave. Then he did something that made it all very clear. All he did was glance at the coffee table and then at me, but I knew where he'd been. And that's when I knew it was time for me to go too. Luckily, the DX closed early the next afternoon, so I just drove straight to the cemetery. It was time.
Somehow, it wasn't hard for me to find Dally's grave. Seeing his headstone, however, was an entirely different story. All of those feelings rushed back, and I felt like someone punched me in the stomach … suddenly, I sank to my knees. My head was spinning, and I could hear Dally's voice shouting at Johnny not to die. I rubbed the heels of my hands against my eyes, but that didn't stop the tears that I just couldn't seem to control. I kept my hands over my face, and I tried to slow down my breathing, but I knew that anyone walking by would be able to see my shoulders shaking. I just couldn't stop thinking that Dally had saved my life, and now I was here, mourning his.
I stopped short when I got to the grave. I don't know why I didn't think that Pony would find his way here by himself too. I don't know why I thought I'd be able to do this without him. I don't know why I ever thought I didn't want to. And as soon as I saw his shoulders start to shake and realized he was bawling again, I didn't know how I was still just standing there and watching him. I walked over slowly and dropped down on the grass next to him. He looked up with a start, but as soon as he saw it was me, he looked back down. I wrapping my arms around him, and he collapsed against me. I knew there were tears running down my own face, and so did he, but when we both stopped crying, I knew that we both somehow felt better. And I knew it was because without even planning it… we'd ended up here together.
I let out a shaky breath and looked up at Soda. His eyes were red and swollen too, but he seemed calm now, and I suddenly felt calmer, myself. And I knew why. No matter what happens, no matter how bad things get, I know I'll always have those people who just get it. A peace I hadn't felt in weeks came over me, and as Soda and I stood up and walked out of the cemetery, I knew we'd be ok. And I knew it because somehow… without even planning it… we'd ended up here together.