Well, this has been the most horrible chapter to write. Its been written and rewritten a total of 6 times now, and after a tantrum, a long walk around the hills and a long soak in the bath, I've finally decided to stop stressing over it and post it! So here goes nothing!

As ever the comments have been awesome from you guys but keep them coming! i love em soo very much!

Building Bridges

Chapter 10

Erin sat in silence in her own kitchen, her fingertips nervously curled around her coffee mug as her gaze remained fixed upon the clock on the wall. It was almost 11am. She'd sat here in this spot since 9am, waiting for the inevitable appearance of her daughter.

In the early hours when they had arrived home it had already been decided that school today would be pointless. There was too much to handle at home.

Yet here as she sat, her knees nervously bouncing up and down, Erin briefly questioned her decision.

If truth be told she was scared. She and Megan had to sort this out today, that much was for sure, but what would happen along the way would remain a terrifying prospect.

But she was about to find out.

She saw her out of ther corner of her eye, her head turning quickly to look upon the sight before her.

Arms folded, already defensive, Megan Strauss slowly made her way into the kitchen. She'd dressed in jeans and a hoodie, pulled her hair into a ponytail. Now she looked like the 17 years old she was.

"Hi." Erin spoke calmly, her eyes following Megan as she poured herself some water and lowered herself into the seat opposite her mother.

Megan simply nodded once, acknowledging her mother's greeting but not verbally responding.

"Did you sleep well?" Erin cleared her throat, watching as Megan shrugged.

"Fine."

"Good."

"For god's sake Mom would you just say it!"

"Say what?"

"Whatever it is you're just dying to say!"

Erin sighed, pushing her coffee mug away from herself a little. "You seem to have something you want to say yourself Megan."

"Oh no! No way Mom! You made this mess you fix it! You first!"

Pursing her lips Erin lowered her gaze, normally she would have put her daughter back in her place for speaking to her like this but she knew she deserved it, all of it.

"Look Meg, I know you have this deep anger toward me and I..."

"Anger? Damn right I'm angry Mom but you...you really have no idea do you?"

Words failed Erin in this moment, when she thought about it she really was making assumptions, she needed to listen to her daughter, especially now.

"You betrayed me Mom!"

The look in Megan's eyes all but broke Erin into a million pieces. The glistening foundation of the tears in her eyes, the shake of her voice, it froze Erin to her seat.

"When Dad's affair came out, who's side did I take? Your's Mom! I stood by you and what did you do? You walked out on me!"

"I did not walk out on you Megan! I moved out yes, I left your father but I never left you! You spent every weekend with me and you know it!"

"Do you actually think thats enough Mom! Weekends? You didnt even give me the courtesy to tell me yourself when you went into rehab I had to listen to Dad gloat about it!"

"What did you expect? It was bad enough having my co-workers stage an intervention did you honestly think I was in any state of mind to admit to my daughter that I'm an alcoholic!"

"I ALREADY KNEW MOM!"

Megan couldnt help herself, she'd opened the gate and now the horse was bolting. For weeks she had barely made it through each day. Her mind had been working overtime, full of a multitude of issues that she had no hope of making sense of. She'd been sinking just as much as her mother had but nobody had been there to see it, not even her father had opened his eyes long enough to notice that his youngest daughter was drowning.

"You really think I didnt know! I saw it Mom, I saw it every damn day! You think I wouldnt notice, the mood swings, the excuses, the shaking hands...I found the bottles in your home office Mom! I'm not stupid!"

"I didnt mean for you to...I'm sorry Megan."

With a sigh Megan sat forward in her chair, dropping her head into her hands as she took a deep breath to steady her emotions.

"I know you never meant for any of this Mom but...you know, you know that me and Dad dont get along we barely tolerate each other and still you left me there!"

"I was in rehab Megan not a fucking spa!"

Erin hadnt meant to swear at her daughter, the moment was intense and her frustrations were being unleashed.

"I know! I get that you had to get help and believe me Mom I'm proud of you for getting through it but whilst you got through your hell you left me in mine!"

"Hell? Really? Staying with your father was really that bad?"

Erin held her daughter's gaze with wide, disbelieving eyes, only infuriating her daughter even further.

"Yes, it was that bad! Every single day, Dad would leave for work before I even got up, he'd leave a list on the fridge of what needed doing, shopping, cleaning, you name it, I did it! He'd come home from work after I went to bed, review my school tests and reports that I had to leave on his desk, and then he'd lecture me on them every saturday. Ah the weekends, the time of the week I would actually see my father although he'd have that god awful mistress Bitch over and god dont get me started on her! Give it a couple of weeks, she's all but convinced him to pack me off to boarding school so enjoy me while you can Mom!"

"Boarding school?"

"Yep! He's got four perspective schools on the shortlist! He just cant wait to get rid of me! College next september is obviously too long to wait!"

"I know you and your Dad havent always gotten along but...I never expected that."

"Well like I said, little Mistress Bitch is calling the shots these days!" Megan folded her arms and slouched back in her chair. Like her mother she'd never played the victim, but there was only so much one person could take before they had to admit it.

"I'm sorry Megan."

"For what exactly?"

"Take your pick, theres a big enough list."

"You're supposed to be my Mom! Ok so Dad told you that I supposedly didnt want to see you, so what? That shouldnt have stopped you trying! All you had to do was call me, text me, send a god damn email Mom and I'd have told you the truth, but you couldnt even be bothered to do that!"

Erin ran her hands over her face, leaning forward slightly as she fought for Megan's gaze.

"I know, ok. I was, scared and guilty and...ashamed and I knew you deserved better Megan! Half the time I hated myself for letting you down for not having the strength and courage to pick up the god damn phone! the rest of the time I tried to convince myself that maybe you were better off without me. But, never doubt for one second that I love you, I have always loved you and I will love you forever! You're the best thing I ever did, you and your brother and your sister and every single day I am proud of you. I want you to be proud of me too, which is why I had to wait until I was better before...I couldnt let you see me like I was Megan, it was already hard enough!"

"I could have helped." Megan's voice was quiet, the tears had started now and she couldnt hold them back any longer.

"You did help, every single day you helped me Megan! You and Kate and Adam, just thinking of you all is what gets me out of bed every single day, I did it for you!"

"So let me in! For god's sake Mom stop trying to be superwoman! You dont have to do everything by yourself!"

It was all Erin could do to keep her own tears in, yet as she reached out across the table to grasp her daughter's hand in her own, she had to take an even bigger breath to steady her emotions.

"I promise you Megan, I promise you with everything I have that I will make it up to you. If you will let me, I will never let you down again."

Megan took another deep breath herself as she held tight to her mother's hand. They hadnt been this honest with each other in years and somehow she knew it would make them stronger.

"I need you Mom! I need you to be my Mom! I need you to never keep secrets from me and I need you to trust me! You have to let go of that control."

That raised a smile from Erin, for the irony alone. Control. Control was playing far too big a part in her life these days.

"I will work on the control thing. That's a definate promise."

That was it. Before either knew what had even happened they were both out of their chairs, some fierce gravitational pull had them both on their feet, their hands still joined they were somehow each dragged by the other into a tight embrace.

That was the moment Erin lost her control. The tears fell the second she wrapped her arms around her daughter. She never wanted to let go.

For how long they stayed like that they would never know, but eventually they drew back from each other, but only physically.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I dont want to go back to Dad's."

Erin turned to lean on the breakfast bar, watching as Megan shifted nervously only a few feet away from her. She didnt think of that house as home anymore. Megan had grown up in that house, but it wasnt healthy for her anymore. It suffocated her, smothered her, and she had to get out.

"You dont have to."

"Really?" Megan took two tentative steps towards her mother, smiling as Erin reached out to tuck a stray hair behind her ear.

"No point, you're already home."

"Can I watch when you tell Dad?"

Erin couldnt help the laugh that left her at Megan's words. The kid was still a joker underneath and it was refreshing. But as was about to be proved, she could still render her mother speechless with one sentence.

"So what's the deal with you and Agent Rossi?"

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