Chapter 10
It was early in the morning but Ronon was awake, he had refused more pain killers and couldn't sleep. He didn't mind the pain, it reminded him he was still alive and part of him felt like he deserved it. After everything he had done to his team - all the pain he had put them through. They had forgiven him but Ronon had not forgiven himself, and he hadn't been able to forgive Tyre until it was too late. They were times it felt like yesterday that John had given him Tyre's sword as he had sat in the same infirmary bed. Another wave of guilt washed over him. How could Jennifer (he had found out her name yesterday) think he was a good person when she hardly knew him. Yet she had seemed so sure, and the intensity in her eyes, her beautiful eyes. He sighed, and not for the first time in the last 24 hours ran his fingers over his knuckles that she had bandaged with such care. There was something about what she said that he wanted to believe. He wanted her to show him how to change, if of course he could, and there was only one way to find out.
Ronon became a model patient. Well, for Jennifer he was. He would sometimes glare at the other doctors when they fussed around him, but whenever she was around he seemed calmer and the others had started to notice. He stopped complaining about being stuck in bed, instead spending his time asking about Jennifer. At first he asked Teyla a few subtle questions, but before long he was harassing Rodney for information whenever he was about. He watched her when she worked, after a while he began to talk to her more, and even started telling her funny stories about old missions. He soon become captivated by the way she laughed, and tried harder and harder to see her laugh whenever possible. although he was content with just watching her, doing what she did best, helping people. Part of him wished he never had to leave just so he could spend his time with her, but there was a galaxy to save and whenever she wasn't about he found himself becoming restless.
Jennifer had been hurt by his earlier behavior, yet she was drawn to him, she started to spend a lot more time in the infirmary, with him. She wanted to ask him about what had happened, why he had suddenly become distant. There was just something missing, and not just with Ronon, Atlantis just somehow seemed different, but she couldn't work out why.
The dreams had continued. At first she had tried to ignore them, but it didn't work. She tried taking sleeping pills, but nothing was working, and if it wasn't for Ronon she didn't know if she could have stayed sane. Then one morning she woke up suddenly in a panic. OK things had gone too far. Sex, on a plane with Rodney? Something was defiantly wrong. She would never, ever imagine that in a million years. She had to do something, and soon, but what? She would go and talk to Teyla. She might be able to help. In the meantime she had to get that image out of her head, she looked at the clock by her bed. It was half 5, she got dressed and headed for the infirmary.