Mr InsaneGuy's Truth or Dare: Assassination Classroom Edition

by Mr.InsaneGuy

Mr. InsaneGuy is going for another round of his favorite game. His latest victims are Class 3-E and their teachers. Can they handle the dares? Can they handle the truths? Will Takebayashi stop getting excited about essentially getting Isekai'ed into another anime? You decide!

10. The Kick-bleep Beach Chapter

A/N: This chapter is gonna be long. So long. BTW, no women, demi-humans, dinosaurs, asexual organisms, pokemon, WWII propaganda mascots, robots, aliens, or sentient sculptures were harmed in the creation of this first intro scene. Also, sorry if this type of stuff isn't your cup of tea. Once I heard about this SCP, I just had to do something with it.

Besides, we gotta give Ac something. Just in the name of fairness and all.

It was a dark, cool night in the city of St. Louis. This part of the city is known for having a very high crime rate and when looking around at the area's dilapidated buildings, suspicious people walking about past midnight hours, among other things, it wasn't really a surprise. Last session, Okajima was sold six VIP passes to a multiverse strip club in this area. He decided to take Kurahashi along with Itona, Terasaka, Isogai, and Kataoka.

As Kataoka scanned her surroundings, she couldn't help but regret every decision that led up to this moment. "I can't believe I agreed to do this," She sighed.

"It hasn't been that bad," Isogai comforted, "We got to take a free trip to America and see some of the sights before coming here,"

"Yeah, but we're here," Kataoka complained, "This part of town is just too sketchy. Are we any closer to this stupid club?"

"It should be up ahead," Kurahashi said, "Just a block further,"

"Aww yeah, I can't wait!" Okajima beamed with anticipation.

"Really?" Terasaka interjected, "Anything that Larry asshole sells always has some weird or deadly twist to it. Like that stupid pan-dimensional vending machine! I'm still itching from that weird fly fruit that Taisei bought the other day,"

"You were the lucky one," Kataoka complained, "We all either died of heart attacks a couple hours later, or vomited up our own flesh, then died,"

"I liked the candybots," Itona chimed in.

"Okay, the candybots were neat," Kataoka admitted, "But is it really worth having around?"

The group continued to discuss the topic of pan-dimensional snack foods until they arrived to an old, dilapidated, one-story brick building. All possible entrances with the exception of one were boarded up. Kurahashi double checked the address on her VIP ticket and her phone's GPS to ensure she got the right address. Just as she confirmed it, the time was one fifty-five in the morning and an overweight man walked outside with a couple of signs underneath his arms and began to set them up. The group walked over to the man.

"Hey man," Okajima called, "This is the Multiverse Strip Club, right?"

"Something like that," The man answered. He posted a sign above the door that said 'EXOTIC GIRLS'' with a smaller sub text underneath that said 'or equivalent'.

"Exotic girls or equivalent," Itona read.

"So, it's just a normal strip club, then" Terasaka joked.

Then the man posted another sign next to the door. This was a schedule of performances that were going to be shown that night.

SCHEDULE OF SHOWS:

2:00 - 2:10: Admittance

2:10 - 2:15: The Sakaguchi Sisters

2:15 - 2:20: Marie Curie

2:20 - 2:30: Iris and Axew

2:30 - 2:35: [teeth and claw marks]

2:35 - 2:45: Intermission

2:45 - 2:50: Raphtalia

2:50 - 2:55: Miss Vega 4: Gladys Lennox

2:55 - 3:00: Rosie the Riveter

3:00 - 3:05: Fister Roboto

3:05 - 3:10: Hiromi Shiota

3:10 - 3:20: The surviving women of planet [Indecipherable text]

3:20 - 3:30: The Sculpture

"Marie Curie… Rosie the Riveter… Hiromi Shiota?" Kataoka read, "Isn't that Nagisa's mom?"

"Now we have to watch this show!" Okajima smiled.

"Alright, I'm done setting up," the bouncer said, "Cover charge is twenty bucks,"

"We all have these VIP passes," Kurahashi mentioned as she held up her pass. Everyone else did the same with theirs. The bouncer took all the passes and waved them into the structure. Unlike the exterior, the interior of conditions were excellent. The floors had shag carpeting, the walls were mirrored, and a single disco ball hung from the ceiling. A single brass pole extended from the ceiling down into the middle of the room. In front of that was a stage, which had a thick, fabric curtain covering most of it. Over on the opposite wall was a janitor's closet, where they heard a knock. The bouncer heard this as well and answered the door. When he answered, Larry and Fernando walked into the club in casual clubbing attire.

"Nikolai!" Fernando greeted to the bouncer, "Oh man it's good to see you again," The bouncer's bored expression turned into a smile and the two proceeded to bro hug.

"Holy shit! You're out of the asylum!" Nikolai exclaimed, "It's been forever, man," Then he turned to Larry, "What's up, Larry?"

"Nothing much," Larry responded, "We've been given some time off for our amazing performance this month and we figured we'd stop by here. As a matter a fact, here are some of our customers now," Larry turned to the group, "Hello everyone!"

"Larry! Fernando!" the group exclaimed.

"I didn't think we'd run into each other here," Larry said, "But it's great that we did!"

Fernando was taking a look at a copy of the schedule and a look of disapproval appeared on his face. "I don't know Larry, the performances for tonight are a bit vanilla for my tastes and a little weebish,"

"There's a performer called Fister Roboto!" Kataoka stressed, "How gross are you?!"

"Some questions are better left unanswered," Fernando stated.

"You refusing to answer speaks volumes!" Kataoka agrued.

"Alright, everyone," Nikolai spoke, "The show starts in about two minutes. Please take your seats,"

Everyone took their seats on the front row. Larry somehow pulled a large cooler out from his pocket and opened it up, revealing ice cold beers. He grabbed an expensive looking bottle poured it into a large drinking glass that he kept in the cooler as well.

"Why don't you just drink out of the bottle?" Terasaka asked.

"This, Mr. Terasaka, is some of the finest Belgian beers around," Larry answered, "It spent two years fermenting in an oak barrel high in the mountains and you want me to drink it from a bottle? This beer deserves more!"

"Or we could just drink Budweiser and not be so pretentious," Fernando snarked as he grabbed a few cans and began to hand them out to the others.

"Thank you, Fernando," Isogai thanked.

"No problem,"

The curtain then began to open up and show the first act, the Sakaguchi Sisters. They were two small nude asian women that sung beautiful songs while massaging each other.

"These chicks are way better than the Khunbish Sisters," Larry commented.

"Yeah, Tuvan throat singing has never really been my thing," Fernando agreed. The two immortal salesmen decided to throw down ten dollars each on the stage. Okajima did the same. When they did, the women paused and sang a faster paced duet until the curtains closed.

"You are all being too stingy with your money," Okajima criticized, "This is a strip club, not an investment firm! It's not like we can do anything with American dollars back home anyway,"

"We can trade them back for yen," Kataoka suggested.

"What's next?" Itona asked.

"Marie Curie," Fernando answered.

"Isn't she like… the mother of modern physics," Kurahashi asked.

"I don't know," Terasaka commented, "But I'm pretty sure she's dead,"

"So is Helen Keller, but she put on an amazing show last time I saw her here," Larry chimed in. He took a sip from his glass, "Beautiful poetry,"

The curtain opened yet again and it revealed Marie Curie, who appeared to be in her twenties, dressed in showgirl attire. She began to perform a dance while stripping down at the same time. Larry, Fernando, and Okajima tipped ten dollars while everyone else tipped five. She then stopped her performance and began to give her theory on cold fusion. Kataoka scrambled to take note of what she was lecturing because she knew that Okuda and Kimiko would be interested in it. In the middle of her explanation, the curtains closed.

"Helen Keller was better," Fernando complained.

"Indeed," Larry agreed.

"What other women from history perform here?" Okajima asked.

"Well, there was that one time we saw Joan of Arc, she's hot," Fernando answered, "Cleopatra's not as awesome as you'd think,"

"What about Sacagawea?" Larry asked.

"I wasn't here for that!" Fernando whined.

"Was she hot?" Okajima asked.

"She was damn fine," Larry smirked.

"I can't believe that famous women from history are being so sexulaized," Kataoka sighed.

"Oh, almost forgot to mention," Larry added, "You have all definitely been exposed to enough radiation to cause minor radiation poisoning,"

The curtains opened again and revealed a twenty-year-old Iris from the Pokemon anime. A pole also appeared on stage as well. On a stool was her Axew. Unlike the character's Axew however, this one could speak and started to give commands to Iris. The pokemon told her to dance on the pole and Iris enthusiastically complied. Larry, Fernando, and Okajima tipped their usual amounts. Everyone else tipped five with the exception of Kurahashi, who also decided to tip ten dollars. She stopped to collect the money, thanked the audience and returned to the pole to finish her performance before the curtain closed once more.

"We should have brought Takebayashi here," Terasaka mentioned.

"Why didn't you ask Ritsu and Takebayashi to join," Kataoka complained to Okajima.

"We did," Kurahashi answered, "But they wanted to be with Daichi,"

"Those two have really gotten closer since last session," Isogai mentioned, "I'm happy for them,"

The curtain then opened up to reveal three velociraptors in maid cosplay outfits. They directed their attention to Terasaka and began to slowly and meanicingly approach him.

"These aren't the types of maid I had in mind!" Terasaka panicked as he threw all of his cash at the dinosaurs in attempt to appease them, about a hundred and twenty dollars total. Then the dinosaurs looked toward Kataoka, who panicked and did the same thing as Terasaka, costing her about eighty dollars. They then began to collect the money. While they were, Larry tipped ten dollars while Fernando tipped fifteen.

"You go girls!" Fernando hollered. The dinosaurs rolled their eyes.

"Time's up you slutty reptiles!" Nikolai shouted. The dinos finished collecting the money and ran backstage as the curtains closed once more.

"Alright everyone, it's intermission time," Nikolai announced.

"What kind of stip club has velciraptors!?" Kataoka screamed, "Would they have killed us?!"

"Definitely!" Larry answered, "Good thing you tipped well,"

"Well, if the only way to avoid being eaten alive is to spend all of your money, I wouldn't have a problem being broke until next paycheck," Isogai mentioned.

"Well, can't you just fry up some goldfish or something?" Okajima asked.

"Stray cats are more plentiful and free," Itona chimed in.

"You haven't eaten a cat before have you?" Terasaka asked.

"Uh… Did I mention I was poor all my childhood?" Isogai hinted.

"Oh my God, you've eaten cats!" Kataoka exclaimed.

"Just one! It was a really hard time and it was either that or not eat that day," Isogai defended.

"I'm just shocked is all," Kataoka sighed, "I'm glad that's all behind you,"

"By the way, do you want me to split my money with you?" Isogai asked.

"Why? Just so I can blow it on these weird dancers? I'm good," Kataoka declined.

"Alright… how about you, Terasaka?"

"Really?

"Sure," Isogai gave Terasaka fifty dollars.

"So, what do you all think of the show so far?" Larry asked.

"Other than the dino-maids, pretty awesome," Okajima answered.

"And it just gets better," Fernando smirked.

"I don't know, I'm not too thrilled about the final performance," Larry admitted.

"What's that?" Kurahashi asked.

"You'll see," Larry answered, "You have no other option,"

The intermission soon ended and the show began again. The curtains went up and revealed a woman with long hair, racoon ears out of the top of her head, and a bushy tail wearing a skimpy outfit. She looked a bit shy as she performed her dance.

"Isn't this one of the characters from one of Takebayashi's animes… like the one with the shield?" Terasaka asked.

"She's hot," Fernando fawned.

"She's ten," Itona said in his typical deadpan voice.

"How in the hell is that grown woman ten!?" Fernando protested.

"You'd have to watch the show, but she basically looks like that because she leveled up like she was in a video game," Itona answered.

"Well… legal or not, I'm still tipping," Fernando claimed.

"Creep," Kataoka insulted.

"I know, I know," Fernando agreed as he tipped the demi-human woman twenty dollars. Everyone else who had money pitched in five simply because they felt bad for the poor girl. She then stopped her little dance and politely thanked the audience. Then the curtains went down.

"By the way Itona," Fernando started, "Have you heard back from that alien chick?"

"I haven't," Itona replied. The tone of his voice wasn't his usual uninterested deadpan tone. There was just a hint of sadness to it. However, this went mostly unnoticed.

The curtains went up again and what appeared to be a single-celled organism with a tiara appeared. The organism danced around as best as a single-celled organism could. The classmates were weirded out by a giant germ dancing about, but Larry and Fernando weren't phased. Everyone tipped five dollars to be polite and the cell thanked the audience before the curtains went down.

"Okay, that actually weirded me out a little," Okajima admitted.

"Dude, tonight has actually been pretty tame," Fernando laughed.

The curtains opened again a nude woman who looked like Rosie the Riveter began to dance around to the Rosie the Riveter song while occasionally putting rivets in a large bomb. Larry and Fernando were a bit inebriated at this point and began to sing along with the lyrics. The salesmen tipped fifteen dollars each, so did Okajima. Terasaka and Itona tipped ten while the rest tipped five. She collected the money at the end of the song.

"Support our troops!" She exclaimed. Then the curtains fell once more.

"The Atomic Bomb, what an amazing creation," Larry smiled.

"Uh… you do realize two of those were dropped on us in World War Two, right?" Kataoka asked.

Larry took another drink from his beer. "Amazing creation,"

The curtains went up yet again and revealed a large, humanoid robot with promentant fists dancing around in a clunky, rigid fashion to some kind of techno music.

"I WANT TO FIST YOU UP! I WANT TO FIST YOU UP!" The robot kept repeating. Fernando tipped twenty dollars, Larry tipped ten, the rest tipped five. The robot held out one of its hands and vacuumed the money up before walking offstage. The curtains closed shortly after.

"I kinda want to take that thing home," Fernando smirked.

"What!?" Kataoka and Isogai exclaimed.

"Fister Roboto is a fully integrated, multi-fetish, artificial being," Fernando explained.

"That's just disgusting," Kataoka scoffed.

"The best thing is… it's learning!"

The curtains opened once more and there was no doubt about who this next dancer was. This dancer was definitely Nagisa's mom. The woman enthusiastically danced on the pole while stripping down her revealing bikini. The class was shocked at what they saw but some were shocked for very different reasons.

"Woah, I didn't realize it until now," Okajima began, "Maybe it's because she's always had that resting bitch face, but Nagisa's mom has got it going on,"

"Of course you think that," Kataoka scoffed.

"Well, he is right," Terasaka agreed.

Okajima tipped her twenty-five dollars. Larry and Fernando tipped fifteen and everyone else tipped ten dollars. Hiromi picked up the money and thanked the class for being such good friends to Nagisa before the curtains closed.

"So, should we tell Nagisa we saw his mom naked?" Okajima laughed.

"Um… something felt off about her," Kurahashi chimed in, "I don't really know his family well, but I'm pretty sure his mom would never be like that,"

"Well, this is a strip club that pulls in dancers from across the vast multiverse," Larry explained with a bit of slurring, "That's probably not the Nagisa's mom that you know. Same for all the other dancers you'd recognize,"

"Whatever, I get to hold that over his head," Okajima chuckled.

The curtains opened once more and three pink humanoid aliens, that looked like the ones that Itona had an intimate moment with, appeared on stage. One of the aliens tried it's best to avoid eye contact with Itona. It was at that moment Itona realized that that was his alien hookup from a month ago. Itona couldn't help but get out of his seat and walk toward the stage. He began to reach a hand out but was stopped when Nikolai grabbed his wrist.

"Hey, no touching the dancer!" Nikolai warned, "Sit back down,"

"But… she my-,"

"Sit down!"

Itona then realized her lack of response on his dating app (and later deletion of her account) and her attempts to avoid his gaze meant that she was trying to ignore him. Itona hadn't felt rejection like this ever since he was abandoned by his father, but even that didn't hurt so bad as this did now. He began to shed a few tears as he walked back to his chair, defeated.

"Oh my God, Did you fall in love with her!?" Terasaka asked.

"Now now, Terasaka," Fernando interrupted, "Some variations of freaky alien mind sex are like the joys of fifteen years of happy marriage crammed into about six hours. If you don't wear protection, like a tin foil hat, you'll end up falling in love for real… among other things,"

"I didn't think I felt that strongly for her until just now," Itona sighed, "I thought that machine said she was my love,"

"Well, the relationship that the love tester suggests aren't anomalous themselves," Larry explained, "They can be disturbed by outside influences just like any other relationship,"

"I'm sorry, Itona," Isogai comforted, "Will you be okay?"

"I guess," Itona sighed.

Everyone was too busy focusing on Itona's sudden depression that they didn't tip the dancers at all. The dancers walked off stage, with the two other dancers somberly glaring at Itona's one night stand. The curtains closed and the salesmen realized that the show was almost over.

"Ugh, this last performer," Fernando sighed, "Nikolai, what happened to all the other crazy chicks!?"

"Hey, I just work here," Nikolai defended, "I hear next week is going to get pretty crazy so I guess you'll have to come in then,"

"Fine,"

The curtains opened again and this time it revealed a crudely spray painted sculpture of a concrete statue that was vaguely humanoid. It wore a pink bra and panties, although there seemed to be no reason for it. All over the stage was a reddish brownish substance that reeked of blood and feces. The class didn't know what to think of it.

"I recommend," Larry started, "Keeping your eyes on it at all ti-," Suddenly, the sound of a crunch was heard as the sculpture seemingly teleported right in front of Terasaka's chair. Terasaka was slumped over in his chair with his neck snapped. He was dead. The rest of the class screamed while the salesmen were drinking their beers like nothing out of the ordinary happened.

"That's what happens when you don't keep your eyes on it," Larry warned.

"But we were all looking at it!" Isogai yelled.

"Did you all happen to blink?" Larry asked.

"Wh- What!?"

"This sculpture is probably as fast as Mr. Yukimura," Larry began, "But it only moves when no one is making eye contact with it. Blinking, even for a split second, interrupts this and allows it to move free-,"

Everyone just happened to blink at the same time again and this time it was in front of Okajima's chair and he was slumped over with a broken neck. The class screamed again.

"Why don't you help stare at it!?" Kurahashi cried.

"Oh, this thing knows us as regulars and immortal beings. We're low priority when it comes to neck snapping," Fernando explained.

"Alright everyone, just stay calm… and-," Isogai began before he was cut off by everyone blinking at the same time, which caused the sculpture to move to him and snap his neck.

"Amateurs," Larry sighed.

"We need to coordinate our blinking," Kataoka suggested, "If one of us needs to blink, let the rest of us know and we'll ensure that we are watching it. We only have eight more minutes until this crap is over,"

So for the next eight minutes, the three surviving classmates watched the sculpture like a hawk. Ensuring that no one managed to break eye contact with it. When the clock struck three thirty in the morning, Nikolai carried the sculpture back to the stage and the curtains closed for the last time that night. Larry and Fernando said their goodbyes and hoped to see them again soon. Nikolai escorted the three out of the club and back onto the streets of Eastern St. Louis. Kataoka and Kurahashi were trembling in terror after what they'd just experienced while Itona walked out of the club heartbroken. They had their fun moments, but the night ended on a sour note. They were soon teleported back to the manor, since Japan was fourteen hours ahead. It was just around dinner time but they didn't feel like eating. They went to bed and slept for the rest of the day.

By breakfast, those who had died the previous night were brought back. Despite having been killed, Okajima was in a great mood.

"You just died yesterday," Kurahashi stated as they sat down for breakfast, "Why are you so happy?"

"Look, other than that last dancer, I had a lot of fun last night. I drank a lot and I don't even have a hangover,"

"That's because you were just revived!"

"My time as a monk has taught me that when in the face of adversity, you gotta look at the positives. At least I didn't wake up with a hangover,"

"I guess,"

"And Nagisa's mom was pretty hot,"

Nagisa was within earshot and was eating an omelet as he said that. The sudden comment about his mother made him choke on the bite he was eating momentarily before he was able to cough it loose and swallow it properly.

"Excuse me!"

---

Itona was walking back to his room after breakfast. Last night's emotional incident had been weighing heavy on him, so much so that his stoic deadpan personality was starting to show a few cracks. When he got to his room, he was too in his own head to notice a decently sized metal box on the ground. He stubbed his toe on it and while it sucked, it distracted him from the heartbreak for a little bit. He looked down and saw the metal box. As soon as he placed his hand on it, the top opened up. Inside was a small, pink humanoid creature with numerous tentacles sticking out of her head that acted as hair. Pinned to the creature's blanket was a note which he read.

Please take care of [Indecipherable name]. She's your daughter. Sorry to surprise you. I was young and foolish.

As Itona stood there looking at the creature that was apparently his child, Maehara and Okano walked by and noticed the alien infant.

"What the fuck is that!?" The couple yelled.

"It's… my daughter apparently," Itona answered in deadpan.

The couple looked at each other for a moment, and realized it was best if they didn't get involved.

"Um… Congratulations?" Maehara said.

---

With Kimura gone, nobody in the manor was certified to deliver the babies for the three pregnant women in the manor. This was very quickly realized after everyone got back from the asylum. So for the past week or so since their return, a few brave volunteers, Isogai, Kataoka, and Aguri, decided to try to learn how to do the procedure. Once you got past the how disgusting it was, the procedure was actually pretty easy. If you think about it, humans have been doing this for thousands of years without hospitals and certifications. After a few viewings of an instructional video on YouTube, they felt they were ready. A/N: Yes, you can learn this from watching Youtube. That's basically how I learned and I'm actually certified!

However, they were not ready for what was about to happen next. Either this was a cruel coincidence or Bob just wanting to mess with everyone, but Hayami, Okuda, Kanzaki went into labor just minutes apart from each other. The whole mansion was in a panic as everyone scrambled to get everything ready. Each of the home trained doctors took an expecting mother and waited for their delivery to happen. In the end, things turned out fine with no complications.

---

"I can't believe that just happened," Kanzaki meekly said as she was handed her new baby girl and she laid back on the mountain of pillows that was behind her.

"How did this even happen? We weren't dared were we?" Sugino sighed. Little do they know, the teasing dare that Karma essentially put on autopilot before wiping everyone's memory was the cause, "You came to term so fast I hardly had time to actually get it through my head that I'd be a dad,"

"Well, nothing is a hundred percent effective at stopping pregnancies," Kanzaki smiled, "And besides, look at her, isn't she just the cutest,"

"Yeah," Sugino smiled, "I just… would have preferred different circumstances is all. But I'll stop dwelling on that. What should we name her?"

"You didn't come up with it sooner," Kataoka interjected as she cleaned up the room.

"Like he said, this kinda snuck up on us," Kanzaki defended.

After a bit of discussion, they decided on the name Tomoko. Kataoka pointed out that they basically combined both of their first names and made this one and while that was unintentional, they sorta liked it.

---

"I literally got pregnant on a dare," Hayami said to herself as she held her baby girl in her arms.

"This game," Chiba sighed, "At this point, I can't tell if this has all been a net positive or negative,"

"You don't want to admit it's been positive, is that it?" Hayami asked.

"Alright, you got me there. Korosensei and Aguri are alive, by the way thank you for performing the delivery ma'am," Chiba thanked.

"Oh, it wasn't a problem," Aguri smiled, "And I get what your saying. I think this has been a positive experience overall, but I may be a little bit biased. But I'm married to a wonderful man and somehow had got two lovely children out of it too,"

"Do you think this game will stop once every woman has a child?" Hayami asked.

"But that's just insane," Aguri commented.

"They don't call him Mister Insaneguy for nothing I suppose," Chiba said, "Speaking of which, I think I have a good name for the baby. Hana,"

"Hana… Hana Chiba," Hayami said to herself, "It has a nice ring to it,"

"So it's official," Chiba confirmed, "Hana it is!"

---

Okuda was the only one who thought to prepare an epidural, which was obtained via the drink dispenser, and even marked exactly where on her spine the needle should go in. Karma was hesitant to shove a giant needle into the lumbar of her spine but apparently the drink dispenser can dispense a cup of temporary medical knowledge. After Karma drank it, he carried out the procedure. Then about half an hour later, Isogai did his job and delivered the little baby boy and possible hellspawn.

Okuda, while not in pain, was very loopy from the anesthetics that she had prepared. She made a goofy smile while she held the baby and looked up at the two men.

"Karma, I think I know why we named him Yuma," Okuda smiled.

"Really!? I went with that name while you were coming down from painkillers," Karma jokingly protested, "I'll go along with it, but Yuma… and I mean big Yuma… we get to name your baby,"

"But…," Isogai began to protest.

"Alright, it's a deal!" Karma confirmed, "Thanks for helping us out, man,"

---

A day after that fiasco, it was time for Truth or Dare. This session was to take place at the beach. Every anime has to have a beach episode so why not this fanfic? Bob, who was still ten, showed up in blue swim truncks while Ted showed up in shorts, a straw sunhat and a tanktop with a picture of an ice cream cone on it.

"We're going to the beach!" Bob declared.

"Do we have to?" Hayami complained with Hana in her arms.

"I thought you hated the beach," Kanzaki mentioned.

"Uh… Yeah, I do, but we have a session to do, people!" Bob stressed.

"Three women just had babies yesterday and you want them to go to the beach!?" Hara protested.

"Well, if they're worried about thier beach bodies so much I guess I can make them recover instantly and take off the baby weight," Bob snapped his fingers and the new mothers looked and felt like themselves before they had kids.

"Why didn't you do that for me and sis!?" Kayano protested, "I just now got back to my normal weight!"

"Different strokes for different folks," Bob wrote off, "Now, we can go!"

"We can't just take newborns to the beach!" Kanzaki protested.

"Fine! We'll get Satsuki and Uzu to watch the babies!" Bob decided.

"I'm not doing it," Satsuki refused.

"There's like five babies and an abomination that we have to watch over!" Uzu protested, "No way!"

"Uh… she's right here," Itona chimed in while feeding his alien daughter a bottle of formula.

"Fine! I'll call a babysitter!" Bob shouted.

After a quick phone call and about twenty minutes, the doorbell rang. Bob answered the door and out front were three women. One had short black hair with a red highlight and looked very pissed off, one had short brown hair and kinda looked absent-minded, and the last woman had long, curled blonde hair, two blue eyes, and a pink shirt. The blonde an burnette were each holding infants of their own.

"Ryuko! Nui! Mako!" Bob greeted, "Long time no see! How has everything been?"

"Why the hell do you look twelve?" the black haired woman asked.

"First of all, Ryuko," Bob began, "I'm ten. Second, it was a dare and third, I think I liked daring you folks better. Less people dared me,"

"Serves you right, asshole," Ryuko scoffed.

"Where are the babies?" the burnette asked in anticipation.

"You are way too excited for babysitting, Mako," Ryuko sighed.

"So, what's wrong with this weird baby you mentioned," the blonde asked.

"You'll see, Nui," Bob said as he waved the three in. As the babysitters walked in, everyone else was getting ready for the beach trip. Bob led them into the living room where the six infants and their parents.

"Wow, you all got busy," Ryuko remarked.

"Probably Ac's doing," Nui added.

"I think maybe one or two were," Ted commented.

Then Itona's baby caught Ryuko's eye. "What the hell is that!?"

"My daughter," Itona answered in a deadpan tone, "I just got her a couple days ago,"

"How are you not more shocked by this!?" Ryuko blurted, "What kind of crazy shit are you into!?"

"Don't get me wrong, it's shocking. But I don't understand how yelling will solve anything," Itona replied.

"Now now, Ms. Matoi," Korosensei interjected, "There's no need to pick on Itona for his mistakes,"

"But in his defense," Karma chimed in, "How was he supposed to know that tin foil was a condom for the brain?"

"I dunno, any alien movie ever made," Bob sassed.

"Ryuko," Nui interrupted as she was handed the alien baby, "She's actually kinda cute. Hold her!"

Nui handed the alien off to Ryuko and the alien instantly began to cry. As she cried, her tentacle hair began to flail about in all directions. She immediatly handed it back to Nui. The alien immediatly calmed down.

"That one is yours!" Ryuko stated.

The parents handed the babies off to the babysitters and began to get ready themselves. As they began to get ready for teleportation, Korosensei hands Ryuko and Nui the mystery solving 2Pac album.

"You might want to listen to this," Korosensei advised, "Track 7,"

"What?" The two said in confusion as they looked at the rap album.

"Trust me, it will all make sense,"

Then the class was teleported away.

---

It was a beatiful, sunny day at the Phi Phi Islands, a cluster of islands of the southwest coast of Thailand. The water was clear and blue, large masses of limestone were jutting out of the water with trees growing on their surfaces, and there was people everywhere! This was not what Bob and Ted imagined when they decided to go to Maya Bay for the truth or dare session. The tourists near them started to panic at the sight of a ten foot tall smiling tentacle monster just standing around in touristy beach clothes, which just made situation worse.

Ted sighed, "Haven't these tourists learned anything from The Beach. Everything is great until a shit load of people show up and ruin it with their presence,"

"I'll fix it," Bob smiled as he snapped his fingers and everyone on the island began to not feel so good. The tourists on the entire cluster of islands began to turn to ashes. Screams of horror could be heard across the island for the next twenty seconds until they all flew away in the wind. Bob also used this time to clean up all the litter, boats, ashes from the people that just got snapped out of existence, and age the class down to their middle school selves, much to their disappointment. Suddenly, the bay looked pristine and there was peace and quiet.

"Are… you going to bring them back?" Korosensei asked.

"Uh… sure," Bob lied. As soon as he did, he felt a slimy growth appear in his throat and he coughed it up. It was a frog, "Damn it, Natsu,"

"Alright," Ted began as he teleported in an ice cream cart in front of him, "Now that we have those cultists knocked out and the island cleared-,"

"Wait," Bob interrupted, "Did you tell them to stop the cultists?"

"I thought you did," Ted replied.

"Fuck," Bob sighed, "Alright! Usual team of middle school assassins. There's an undersea lab nearby, that may or may not be operated by Cthulhu cultists,"

"You just called them cultists," Nagisa interrupted.

"Alleged! Cultists!" Bob shouted, "They got some experimental mutagens. Go kill 'em," Bob teleported in a beach chair and umbrella and laid down. He then summoned a yellow submarine a short distance away from the shore.

"I guess we're off," Karma shrugged, "Natsu, you're driving,"

"Really!?" Natsu beamed.

"We can't just let our five-year-old go on a mission with us!" Natsu's parents protested.

"Mom! Dad! I'm the only one who can drive it!" Natsu whined.

"Can any else pilot a submarine?" Kayano asked. No one responded.

"Alright, Natsu," Nagisa reluctantly agreed, "You can take us there. But stay in the sub! Do you understand,"

"Yes sir! I'll be good!" Natsu promised.

---

Natsu piloted the submarine deep in the ocean blue. His parent watched in awe as he operated the vehicle with ease. After twenty minutes of travel, Natsu detected a large object around the coordinance of the base. The team, along with Ritsu in her human form, geared up in scuba diving gear and went to the airlock room. The room flooded with water and once filled, they were able to open the door and swim the rest of the way down to look for an entrance.

The base itself was of a similar design to the moon base, but smaller. Massive glass domes that were interconnected. After a few minutes of swimming about, they find an opening. They enter and just like they did in space, waited for the room to have oxygen before entering the base itself.

Meanwhile, back at the submarine, Natsu manned the controls. However, he noticed that the sub was not responding to anything he did. He knew he was doing everything right. He wanted to maintain his position, but the sub was mysteriously moving on its own.

As the team sneaked about, they were discussing their course of action.

"So, if these guys worship Cthulhu," Kayano wondered, "Couldn't I just use my tentacles and gain their trust that way? Maybe claim that I'm a prophet or something,"

The team stopped. "That might not be the most practical plan," Nagisa argued.

"If we're going on these missions every other week, we might as well mix up the strategy a bit," Karma suggested, "It'll be fun!"

"But if we mess up we won't really have a backup plan," Nagisa argued, "And you both know that these missions aren't just being done for the fun of it. But it's a decent back-up plan, in case we're spotted,"

---

"Grandmaster, we have recovered an outsider submarine," said a low-ranking cultist in plain black robes.

"Who was onboard?" asked the grandmaster cultist, who had black robes lined with gold trim, a logo of their god, and was wielding a gold staff.

"That's the problem," said the cultist, "There was only a little kid onboard. About four or five years of age,"

The Grandmaster took a few seconds to think, then smiled deviously.

"This will be the perfect subject to test our mutagen on," The Grandmaster decided, "If he lives, he shall be blessed with a sliver of our patron's otherworldly image. If not, then it wasn't meant to be. Either way, it should draw out the real intruders that have probably already infiltrated us. There's no other explanation for a child being anywhere near here. Set everything up for the ceremony. Call everyone into the main chamber,"

"Yes, Grandmaster,"

The Grandmaster prepared a syringe of thick green liquid and followed the other cultist to Natsu's cell.

---

"All personnel! Report to the main chamber immediately!" Announced a voice on the intercom. As soon as the announcement was made. The team heard a door slide open and the sound of footsteps. The team was out in the open. Ritsu immediately retreated into a nearby access panel while Kayano was prepared for plan B. She unleashed the tentacles from the back of her neck and lifted Nagisa and Karma off the ground. The two made their bodies go limp to simulate unconsciousness and just as they finished. A duo of cultist researchers came around the corner. They stopped at the sight of Kayano and were stunned to say the least.

"I am an apostle of the almighty Cthulhu!" Kayano declared, "I've taken the liberty of incapacitating these intruders. Take me to your leader, I wish to speak to them,"

"W-why of course," One of the cultists said nervously. The duo led the team down the hall, through a series of rooms until they reached the main chamber. The chamber was in the shape of a dome, with the upper parts being made of thick glass, allowing for the viewing of the ocean above and the other facilities. On the opposite wall, what appeared to be a large control console with accompanying large displays screens lit up the entire side of the room when the rest of the room was mysteriously dimly lit. Various cultists, about twenty to thirty in total gathered around in the center of the room. The tip of a gold staff could occasionally be seen poking out from the masses surrounding it.

"Grandmaster, we've met an apostle!" The researchers announced.

The cultists surrounding the staff made an opening and the Grandmaster stood just off center of a blood pentagram on the floor. In the middle was a table with a blue-haired little boy, laying down unconscious. Kayano immediately recognized this boy to be her son and used her fiber in her being to not break character.

"Oh, do we now?" The Grandmaster smirked. The man walked forward and held his hand out to touch the tentacles, "Such beautiful tentacles," He then winked. Before Kayano knew what was up, the two researchers pulled out knives and slashed the tentacles off, dropping Nagisa and Karma and causing Kayano to collapse in agonizing pain. Some of the cultists, who were out of the loop, gasped.

"These are nothing but false prophets!" The Grandmaster declared, "An apostle of Cthulhu would make an appearance such as this! When our patron reveals such a being, he does so in the most spectacular manner. Cthulhu is not one for subtlety! He has no need for it! Now come, gather around and let us sacrifice these intruders to appease our patron!"

"Goddammit," Karma sighed.

"Let's do this, it'll be fun," Nagisa mocked.

"We get it!" Kayano shouted as she held the back of her neck.

The cultists left Natsu behind as they all went to surround the intruders. At around this time, Natsu was awoken by a very high-pitched ringing noise. One that only the youngest of ears could detect. Natsu opened his eyes to see that he was on a table. Next to him was a syringe with green liquid. He looked to his right and noticed the mob of cultists, with the Grandmaster with his back to Natsu, and looked to his left to see Ritsu on the screen. As soon as she had his attention, she replaced the image of herself with a message. 'Stab the gold guy with the needle'.

Fortunately, Natsu's reading capabilities were above average for his age and he had no problem reading the message. He grabbed the syringe and sneaked up to the Grandmaster. He jammed the syringe into the man's thigh and injected the liquid. The Grandmaster turned around to see Natsu standing behind him and instinctively smacked the boy with the staff. Due to a previous dare meant to safeguard the children in case of any physical harm, Natsu felt no pain from this smack as he was knocked to the ground. The Grandmaster then noticed the needle and his face turned pale.

"Listen up, followers of Cthulhu!" Ritsu announced on the screen at the opposite end of the room, she jumped out of the screen and materialized into her human form. "You have been following a false prophet to a false God! He was utilizing you for his own personal gain. He was trying to develop the mutagen for himself and was using these rituals for experimentation! Release these intruders or I'll be forced to self-detonate the facility with all personnel inside,"

"No! D-Don't listen!" The Grandmaster screamed. Every nerve in his body felt like it was on fire. He soon collapsed to the floor and began to flail about. The cultists turned their attention to their Grandmaster as they began to see his limbs separate into tentacle-like strands at a rapid and frantic pace, with blood gushing out from the seams. The Grandmaster convulsed on the floor a bit longer until he suddenly collapsed. His body being nothing but a bunch of tentacle looking growths where his limbs (and potentially body) used to be with only his head remaining intact. After this session of body-horror nightmare fuel, Kayano's tentacles began to regenerate and the pain lessened for her. The cultists all dropped to the ground and began to pray as the group recovered.

"What the-," Nagisa started.

"It is now clear," Said the second-in-command cultist, "Our real patron is right before us. Great One, please speak your name!"

"Autonomously Intelligent Fixed Artillery," Ritsu answered, "But I like to be called Ritsu,"

"Please spare us Great Ritsu!" The second-in-command cultist begged, "We will bear true faith and allegiance to you and your cause!"

"Can you let my friends go?" Ritsu asked.

"Of course!" The second-in-command stated, "Anything else you desire?"

"Well… for starters, no more killing. It's time to make up for all the atrocities you've committed. Give back to the world any way you can,"

"But what shall we do, Great Ritsu?" asked a random cultists.

Ritsu sighed. These guys were more hopeless than the millions upon millions of her pre-alpha iterations, which couldn't perform the simplest of calculations on their own. "Um… reverse the negative effects of climate change?" Ritsu shrugged.

"A hard task to test our faith," the second-in-command summarized, "You put a lot on our shoulders but I assure you Great Ritsu, we will do everything in our power to succeed!"

The cultists thanked the team for the elimination of their old prophet, gave them the experimental mutagen, and waved the team goodbye as they departed on their submarine to return to the beach.

---

Back at the beach, Bob, who was only wearing boxer briefs because of a dare from the previous session, was arguing on the phone with Cheshire at the beachside bar ran by Fernando. Cheshire had somehow found out that his universe was a copy and while he appreciated the lengths Bob and Ted went through to make up for the mistake, he was still upset.

"Look Cheshire," Bob reiterated, "I am sorry that I unleashed an unkillable monster that destroyed your entire universe and killed your friends Rabbit and the Red Duchess of… Diamonds or whatever, but you signed the release that basically said that we aren't responsible for any damages. And sidenote, you seem way more upset about the accidental killing of your girlfriend then you are about anything else. Get your priorities in order man… Attitude?... Motherfucker, this is attitude! Don't tell me to lose something I didn't even have in the first place!... This call is over!" Bob then hung up.

"Dude, you are terrible at customer service," Ted sighed.

The submarine surfaced and the team returned to shore. Karma and Ritsu's families came over to greet them as they stepped onto the sand.

"How was the mission?" Takebayashi asked Ritsu.

"Well, Natsu killed the leader who was making his research look like a cult and I became their new god," Ritsu calmly answered, "Now they are going to work on stopping climate change,"

"W-w-what?" Takebayashi blurted.

"Hey Karma!" Okuda loudly greeted, with a cosmopolitan martini in her hand, "How'd the mission go!? Did you kill anyone!?"

"Since when have you been so eager to know all of that?" Karma asked, "How many drinks have you had while I was gone?"

"This is my second," Okuda answered. The lack of a frog being thrown up meant that she was telling the truth.

"Damn, how strong are those!?" Karma wondered. He took Okuda's cosmopolitan and took a sip it tasted normal. Nothing was unusual about it at all.

"I didn't think they were that strong, but woah! I was wrong!" Okuda laughed.

Fernando waved the team over to the bar and as soon as they got there, he held out two cosmopolitan martinis . "For the ladies, courtesy of Tales. As for you gentlemen, would you like anything?"

"Uh… a beer I guess," Nagisa ordered, "Something that doesn't taste too bad,"

"Nothing fancy," Karma requested, "Just a shot of whiskey,"

Fernando went to the cooler and pulled out a bottle of beer and then poured Karma a shot of whiskey. He gave them both to the men.

"Good job today, Natsu," Nagisa praised, "We couldn't have done it without you,"

"Thank you, Dad. Sorry I got captured, I couldn't do anything to the sub,"

"It's all better now," Kayano smiled.

"You know what, let's toast to Natsu for being a good kid," Karma declared, "And to Ritsu for having a cult following,"

The adults toasted and drank from their respective beverages. Then Kimiko walked up to Natsu with two ice cream cones in her hands. One cookies n' cream and the other mint chocolate chip.

"Natsu," Kimiko started, "Ted is giving away ice cream and I know mint chocolate chip is your favorite. Here you go," She handed the boy the ice cream cone and his eyes lit up.

"Thank you, Kimiko!" Natsu thanked.

"Awww! You both look so cute together!" Kayano cooed with a slight slurring of her words.

"Mom!" Natsu protested with a subtle blush running across his face.

"Are you really that drunk?" Nagisa asked Kayano.

Kayano giggled. "I totally am!"

"Me too!" Ritsu giggled.

"Oh yeah," Bob spoke up, "Tales's dare was for all the girls to be super drunk,"

"What about Nakamura and Fuwa? The drinks I gave all the women have about ten times the normal alcohol content and yet they seem to mostly be fine,"

"We're alcoholics," Fuwa answered as she overheard the conversation nearby.

"I never see you at the bar," Karma noted.

"I prefer to drink alone and read manga," Fuwa answered.

"Alright, we've done more than enough intro stuff," Bob declared, "Let's round everyone up for the truth or dares!"

---

Bob gathered everyone near the bar, for easy access to booze while Ted parked his cart right by the bar for easy access to ice cream.

"Alright everyone, let's jump straight into these dares," Bob announced as he pulled out his stack of notecards, "These first dares, or mostly truths actually, come from Truthsayer. But he, and a lot of other people have dared something similar to this. Let's keep the perversion to a minimal and be, mostly, family friendly. I know it'll piss Ac off a bit, but I'll try to find ways to make it up to him,"

"The reviewers in this game seem to not really like the perverted stuff, but at the same time, Ac has been following us since Kill la Kill," Ted added, "Maybe we could start releasing bonus chapters outside of the main sessions. What do you all think?" Ted asked while staring at the hypothetical camera.

"With that out of the way, let's do the truths," Bob moved on, "Everyone, have you all properly gone to a beach together that wasn't an island?"

"No, and it seems you have no intentions on doing so," Nakamura noted.

"What can I say?" Bob defended, "Maya Bay is beautiful. Korosensei, did you know people laugh behind your back because you can't swim?"

"Don't remind me," Korosensei replied with his sad face.

"Speaking of swimming, out of all the kids, who can swim?" Bob asked. All the kids raised their hands except for the Yukimura children, although it was understandable why Yoko couldn't swim. She was three and spent most of her life isolated in a containment chamber.

"Dad's too afraid of water to let me learn," Takeshi stated.

"If you get hurt and begin to drown, I'll have a hard time saving you," Korosensei defended.

"C'mon Korosensei!" Aguri blurted. She was also pretty drunk, "I can swim, why not let me teach him,"

"You are in no condition to be teaching anything right now, Aguri," Korosensei warned.

"Itona, can you sing?" Bob asked.

"No," Itona replied.

"Well, you gotta try," Bob said, "How else are you going to put your alien daughter to bed?"

"Feed it, set down in a crib, give it a blanket," Itona answered.

"Th-that's cold, Itona," Hazama drunkenly blurted.

"Only because of the sound of my voice, which is why I don't sing," Itona answered.

"Have you tried not being monotone?" Ted asked.

"I did once. I didn't like it," Itona answered.

"Anyway, Hazama!" Bob continued, "Since you own the Brooklyn Bridge, you have to pay for all the maintenance costs, workers to repair and maintain the bridge, and all of that fun stuff. How does it feel to buy a money dump?"

"I can just not repair it and hope that New York buys it back," Hazama answered, thinking she's figured it out.

"Yeah, but if the city of New York finds out that you, essentially, bought the bridge without their permission, you could be extradited to America to face charges," Ted stated.

"Oh…,"

"Karma," Bob continued, "Have you ever found yourself attracted to Nagisa at least once, perhaps when you thought he was a girl?"

"No, just... no," Karma answered. Nagisa just sighed.

"Alright, how about each of you reveal an embarrassing secret," Bob dared.

"What's there to reveal?" Nagisa asked, "You all even know secrets that I have in the future!"

"What about you singing in the shower!?" Kayano blurted.

"Uh…,"

"Turn around! Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never come around," Kayano drunkenly sang.

"Stop it!... What about Karma?" Nagisa deflected.

"All of my embarrassing secrets aren't PG-13," Karma admitted, "I don't want to ruin the family-friendly vibe we have going here,"

"Nice try, Karma," Bob smiled. He read his mind and picked a secret at random, "It's okay if you like the occasional light prostate stimulation. If you don't go past the first knuckle it isn't gay,"

"Uh…,"

"Dad what's-," Natsu started.

"Nope, I am not answering that," Nagisa declared.

"Moving on," Bob continued, "Ted, who are you most attracted to in this class? You fucking weeb,"

"I'm not attracted to anyone here," Ted sighed, "However if I had to pick, I guess Fuwa. She's pretty cool,"

Fuwa was sipping on her drink when she began to feel a little uneasy, but in a good way. She couldn't help but divert her attention to Mimura. She then snapped out of it for a moment, looked away, and noticed that her heartbeat began to increase as well. She had never felt this way before. It was at that moment she realized, she had been drugged. Drugged with a love potion specifically. When she realized, she put her head into her hands and tried to hide away from the world.

"Wow, did that drink just start hitting you?" Nakamura asked Fuwa.

"You could say that," Fuwa replied.

"The next dares are from SpiritofSense," Bob announced. He then began to flip through note cards that had the same dare, asking for a family-friendly session until he reached the last one, "Look SpiritofSense, there's just going to be a level of smut with these games. It's inevitable. However, I'm sure Larry could sell something to censor swearing,"

Just as he said that, a knock was heard from Ted's ice cream cart. Ted opened it and Larry rose from the inside of the cart.

"Burrr, it's chilly in there," Larry remarked, "Anyway, I do happen to have something, Boss," Larry then pulls out a bar of yellow hand soap, "This bar of soap, when it comes in contact with your mouth, will bleep out and swears or offensive speech, just like they do on television. Watch," Larry then touched his tongue to the bar of soap for a second and immediately took it off, "Now, to demonstrate, I'd like to call Mr. Shiota a mother*bleep*ing, son of a *bleep*. Or maybe express how Mrs. Isogai was a bit of a *bleep* the other night. Or maybe call the Miss Nakamura, Miss Yada, and the clones a bunch of *bleep*,"

"Alright! We get the point. No need to be so offensive," Clone Nagisa protested.

"I'm selling this soap for some… you know what, can I just get a pint of beer?"

"We don't serve that fancy Belgian crap," Fernando shouted.

"How dare you! Budweiser literally tastes like *bleep*! Fine, I suppose I could make do with some of the pirate loot that's just off the coast of the island," Larry sighed.

"You have a deal, Larry," Bob agreed. He shook the salesman's hand and the deal was made. Bob was given the soap.

"Peace out my *bleep*!" Larry finished as he lowered himself back into the cart and shut the hatch behind him. Ted opened the hatch, which no only had ice cream, and stuck his head inside.

"You can't say that word! You're white!" Ted yelled.

Bob made every stick the soap in their mouth for ten seconds. Ten seconds of exposure to the soap equalled one hour of censorship. When everyone was done licking the soap, Bob put the bar away.

"At least we aren't getting our *bleep* shocked like we did in Jamaica," Bob remarked, "the next dares are from General Skar. He's suggesting a bunch of beach activities, which we'll do after the main session, such as watermelon smashing, sand castle contests, and a fireworks show once nighttime falls. Ritsu, play a mix of summer time, beach music,"

"But it's the end of September," Ritsu noted.

"Just… play some good beach songs," Ritsu grabbed Takebayashi's phone and Yada's bluetooth speaker and did some tech magic with them. Suddenly, Surfin' USA by The Beach Boys began to play.

"Nice," Bob smiled, "Now this next question is for me, Ted, and Korosensei. It was about the lecture and he asks if I learned anything. I sure *bleep*ingdidn't,"

"You weren't even trying to pay attention," Korosensei argued, "You kept trying to doze off and you interrupted me multiple times, causing you to stay longer,"

"Well, I think you made some very valid points Korosensei," Ted complimented.

"Thank you,"

Bob yawned, "Okajima, explain the importance of fetishes to the kids,"

"I thought this was supposed to be family-friendly!" Karasuma protested.

"How much can he get across when everything's censored," Bob reminded.

"Let's find out!" Okajima exclaimed. He got into the center of the circle and brought the kids forward, "So, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, They do this thing where the daddy puts his *bleep* into the mommy's *bleep* and it's very awesome. Adults do it all the time and some teenagers, but that's besides the point,"

"I don't know what you're talking about because of the bleeps, but does my mom and dad do it?" Natsu asked. Kayano giggled to herself while Nagisa simply pinched the bridge of his nose and hoped that this would end soon.

"Yes, as a matter a fact, if your parents didn't do this thing, none of you would be here… well, except for Kazuki, but he's a special case," Kazuki, who was twice as old as the rest of the children and had a basic concept of the topics that Okajima was talking about, put two and two together and was childishly laughing to himself. Okajima continued, "Anyway, we aren't talking about where babies come from today. We are talking about what happens when mommy and daddy get bored of doing the same thing everytime. Sometimes daddy will put his *bleep* in her mouth, he might even try to stick it in her *bleep*, but eventually they'll get bored of the same old vanilla stuff,"

"But I like vanilla ice cream," Daichi blurted.

"That's not what I meant," Okajima continued, "Anyway, people get bored doing the same thing, so that's where fetishes come in! They give the lovely act of intercourse infinite possibilities. Some people like messing with each others feet-,"

"Like tickling?" Kimiko asked.

"Sometimes," Okajima answered, "Some people like to be tied up and spanked with a ping pong paddle,"

"Is that something you like!?" Kataoka laughed.

"Of course! Some people like tentacles,"

"Like my mom!" Takeshi blurted. Korosensei felt a tinge of embarrassment wash over him. Aguri was too drunk to care

"And Natsu's dad," Okajima added.

"Leave me out of this!" Nagisa shouted.

"It didn't seem like Dad liked those tentacles," Natsu said, "He couldn't move when Mom grabbed him,"

"Trust me, he may not admit it now, but in the future, your dad will love your mom's tentacles,"

"I feel dead on the inside," Nagisa sighed.

"I mean, we could try-," Kayano started.

"Nope," Nagisa refused.

"Anyway, whatever they like," Okajima finished, "It allows them to grow even closer than ever before and have a lot of fun in the process. That's my lesson,"

"I still don't know what you're really talking about because of the beeps, but… thank you?" Yuma said.

"Everyone," Bob continued, "Tell a lie around Natsu

Everyone said an obvious lie about themselves and they all felt a large slimy growth appear in their throats. After some coughing, everyone threw up frogs, much to Natsu's entertainment.

"The final dare is for…," Bob started before his face turned to a frown, "Well *bleep* you too, General Skar!" Then Bob's boxer briefs were replaced by a purple, one-piece swimsuit with a unicorn on it.

"My swimsuit is cuter," Kimiko laughed.

"Whatever Miss Two-piece," Bob sassed, "These next dares are from ATankNamedSheila. Nagisa, who do you hate most out of E Class?"

"I don't really hate anyone," Nagisa admitted, "If I had to choose, it'd probably Terasaka and his friends for making me be a suicide bomber, but I've gotten over it,"

"Look at you Mister I love everything," Bob mocked, "Irina, teach the kids English… actually, do you all speak Japanese or English?"

"We're Japanese, you idiot! Of course we speak it," Terasaka shouted.

"No, he actually makes a good point," Fuwa defended, "Bob and Ted have only ever watched the English dub of Assassination Classroom. Ted writes everything down in English, and we exist in their minds. So to him, of course we speak English, there's no other way for him to interpret what we say unless he knew Japanese,"

"It just goes to show American fanfiction of Japanese Intellectual Properties causes a language confusion no matter what," Ted spoke, "I like to use the JoJo approach. The same type of approach that allows two Japanese students, an American, an Egyptian, and a Frenchman to travel across India and the Middle East with no language barrier at all,"

"How about this, all qualifying adults should just teach the children as if they were actually going to school," Bob declared.

"Aww. We have to have classes now!" Kimiko complained.

"Well, what else will we do?" Irina said, "Bob went back on the deal for you to go back to school and we don't want you to fall behind,"

"But I can do calculus in my head!" Kimiko protested.

"But can you read a chapter book?" Karasuma asked.

"Uh… um… okay,"

"Karma, you need to do five generous acts of pure kindness for Nagisa throughout our time here," Bob dared.

"Ha! Gay!" Clone Karma shouted.

"You're one to talk!" Karma shouted back.

"What? I don't do that many acts of kindness for my Nagisa in a day," Clone Karma argued.

Karma sighed. "Do you want an ice cream?" Karma asked Nagisa.

"Yes, please," Nagisa answered, "Chocolate please," Karma got up and went to Ted's ice cream cart to grab the frozen treat.

"Natsu, you get the power of the Infinity Gauntlet… Junior," Bob declared. He snapped his fingers and Natsu was given a leather glove that looked like the Infinity Gauntlet and had different colored beads instead of stones, "It's basically prestidigitation from DnD, plus a little bit of teleporting,"

"Prestidige-what?" Natsu tried to pronounce.

"I know, it's a hard one to say," Bob agreed, "Okajima, turn pink every time you think of something perverted,"

"Boobs," Kurahashi giggled. Okajima immediately turned pink, "Wow, it works!"

"As for the next dare, Ritsu summarized every boy's size a few chapters back. Nothing impressive," Bob noted, "Before we move on, let's add a limbo contest to today's events, making out with your significant other if you fail these challenges-,"

"Is that supposed to be a punishment?" Okuda blurted, "It's not!"

"And Terasaka's surroundings are super bouncy for the next few minutes," Bob finished. Terasaka got up and jumped two and a half feet in the air. As he landed, the ground sank in a similar fashion to a trampoline's surface and he was able to jump even higher.

"This dare ain't bad!" Terasaka smiled as he jumped up, down, and all around.

"Alright, I am going to go pick up a child from the future," Bob announced, "This is break time, I'll be back,"

---

Five years into the future, in the Assassination Classroom's original universe, the shattered moon hung high in the sky. It was about midday in the city of Tokyo. Our setting takes place at Narita International Airport, where a twenty-seven year old Toka Yada was standing at the terminal with a little, blonde girl with light purple eyes.

"Why is Mom coming back from Europe early?" The little girl asked.

"It's hard to explain," Yada sighed, "But she just wants to see you again. That's all,"

"Hard to explain, huh?" Said a high-pitched, but boyish voice. Yada could feel a sense of dread wash over her. She turned around and saw ten-year-old Bob InsaneGuy, wearing a purple one-piece swimsuit with a unicorn on it. If the situation had been any different, she'd be laughing at him right now.

"Oh no," Yada murmured.

"What's wrong, Mama?" the little girl asked, "Why is that boy dressed like a girl?"

"Hey! *bleep* you, kid!" Bob sassed.

"I forgot about that soap," Yada stated. Trying to maintain composure as the evil man (or child rather) was about to take her daughter away.

"So, you actually in a relationship with Rio," Bob stated, "I thought it would of just be a months long fling, but I guess you two really made things work out. I'm guessing the child was grown in the kit too. How about I speed up the growth rate on the kit and push Kazuki through?"

"That's exactly what you did," Yada replied.

"Oh, future me is really on top of things," Bob remarked.

"Well, future you is also-,"

"Ah! No spoilers!" Bob shussed.

"Aria, sweetie," Yada began. She got down to her level, "You're going to be going away for a while. You won't remember too much about your life here, but you'll remember some of your friends and Mom and I will be there too,"

"Why are you saying goodbye?" Aria asked.

"Flight 2461 now arriving!" The intercom announced.

"We got no time," Bob groaned, "I have a game to run!" Bob grabbed the little girl's hand and teleported through space and time, back to the beach. A few minutes later, Rio arrived to find a saddened Toka and their daughter nowhere to be found.

---

Bob came back to the beach with Aria in tow. "Welcome to the game, Aria,"

"Is that my… my daughter?!" Nakamura muttered. At this point, she wasn't surprised with all of her other classmates seeing their future children appear, but having it happen for yourself was a new kind of surreal experience.

"Mom! Mama!" Aria cried, "You're really here! You're both here!" She ran up to Yada and Nakamura bawling her eyes out. By the time she reached them, she didn't even remember why she was crying to begin with.

"A-Aria?" Nakamura called, "That's what I named you right?"

At first, the little girl was confused. How could her moms forget her name. But upon closer inspection, they looked way younger than what she remembered.

"You look like you did in middle school," Aria sobbed.

"There, there," Yada comforted, "There's a lot to explain, but don't worry about it right now. Let's try to have fun on the beach,"

"With these next dares from AnimeLover!" Bob announced.

"This is not the fun part," Yada added.

"Natsu, you get a floating robot familiar type thing. It is called the Automated Support System And Security Infiltration Network Weapon, or the ASSASSIN… How long did it take to come up with that acronym take?" Bob asked himself. He summoned a small robot around Natsu that consisted of various shard shaped pieces of metal and circuitry. Natsu had a psychic link with the device and could move it around him as he pleased.

"This is so cool," Natsu smiled.

Just then, a knock could be heard from Ted's ice cream cart and Ted opened the hatch. Larry rose from the cart once more with another ASSASSIN bot circling around him.

"Greetings everyone, I am back with a brand new, non-anomalous device it is called the Automated Support Sys...tem-," Larry then noticed the ASSASSIN bot that was circling around Natsu, much to his disappointment, "Boss, did you already gift the boy the ASSASSIN?"

"Yes, I did," Bob answered.

"Oh… well… awkward," Larry said as he lowered himself back into the cart and shut the hatch behind him.

"Well then," Bob moved on, "Many of these dares involve anime I have not seen yet,"

"Like what?" Takebayashi asked.

"Uh… Seven Deadly Sins… My Hero Academia…," Bob listed.

"You haven't seen those yet!?" Takebayashi gasped like a fanboy.

"Hey, Ted's been busy watching Jojo," Bob defended.

"I'm on like episode twelve of Diamond is Unbreakable right now," Ted stated, "And to answer another question from AnimeLover, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is the most *bleep*... I can't say *bleep*? It's not even a swear!... That's *bleep*... anyway it's the most *bleep* series I've ever seen… I love it so much,"

"Nagisa, how do you feel knowing your first child is a boy," Bob asked, "Most people would have figured you'd have a daughter and that's how it's portrayed in other fanfics. Doesn't that bother you? Also, go into bloodlust mode anyone tries to harm your family,"

"I like having a son," Nagisa smiled, "I wouldn't be upset about having a daughter or anything, but Natsu is good kid. As for the bloodlust mode dare, I'd do that if I could kill you,"

"Someone is getting sassy," Bob replied, "Now before we move on, let me add volleyball to the list of things we're going to be doing after this and now…,"

"Don't you have to become a Power Ranger with like four other people?" Ted asked.

"Um… we haven't watched that either," Bob noted.

"Alright, if you like purple swimsuits with unicorns we can move on to-,"

"Don't you dare!"

"Akamaru's dares!" Ted finished.

"*bleep*hole," Bob muttered, "Nagisa, Natsu, Itona, and Isogai, learn the art of the blade and gain overpowered sword skills like the little Kiritos that you will become,"

The four previously mentioned individuals were given swords and they suddenly knew how to effectively wield these weapons. Nagisa and Natsu were given lightweight, one-handed blades, Isogai was given something with a longsword that had a bit more weight to it and Itona was given a two-handed greatsword.

"Natsu! You are going to be the most overpowered five-year-old ever!" Kayano cheered.

"Karma," Bob continued, "This will kinda tie into a dare for later, but you will have the ability to summon demonic tentacles with your devil powers,"

"I have devil powers?" Karma asked.

"You do now!" Bob smirked, "Okuda, do you think you could run some experiments on Okajima to cure him of perversion,"

"I'm don't specialize in neuroscience," Okuda slurred, "It's not easy to do. Especially when I'm so wasted!" Okuda laughed.

"Nagisa, just how *bleep*in' rich are you?" Bob asked, "You married a famous actress that is part of a wealthy family and you should have a decent stockpile of cash saved up from killing Korosensei,"

"About that," Nagisa said while rubbing the back of his head, "You see, we all gave our money back to the government after we set money aside for college and I bought part of the mountain our old classroom is on. I don't really make too much as a teacher and before this game I was living very frugally,"

"What about Kayano then?" Bob asked.

"Well, since you killed me in the middle of a really big movie shoot," Kayano blurted with frustration, "I wasn't able to get paid for that. Then, add on top of the fact that it is very taboo for an actress in her early twenties to be having children and my acting career is basically over,"

"Well, what about the Yukimura family?" Bob inquired.

"I haven't been on good terms with Mom and Dad ever since they used Aguri as a bargaining chip for that jerk to save Yukimura Pharmaceuticals from going under. So I decided to make it on my own! I was doing very well, but SOMEONE had to shoot me dead!"

"Akari," Nagisa warned, "I think you're getting a little worked up,"

"It'll be fine, sis," Aguri assured, "You can always bounce back,"

"Ritsu, what is Kayano's cup size?" Bob asked.

"I think it's like a 30 AAA right now," Ritsu drunkenly smiled, "But she has normal A cups when she's in her twenties,"

"I thought I wore only a double A!" Kayano protested.

"You are wearing the wrong bra size," Ritsu explained.

"Oh, I bet that's easy for you to say with your stupid C cups anime tiddies!" Kayano ranted as she jostled Ritsu's breasts around until Nagisa pulled her back.

"Akari, I don't think Ritsu wants you to do that," Nagisa warned.

"I didn't mind," Ritsu stated.

"You're not helping," Takebayashi whispered to Ritsu.

"What's wrong with Mom?" Natsu asked Nagisa after he managed to calm Kayano down.

"She's just had too much to drink, that's all," Nagisa answered.

"Irina, have you and Karasuma ever roleplayed while in bed? Also, how was Kimiko conceived?"

"What's conceived?" Kimiko and Natsu asked their fathers.

"Not you too," Karasuma sighed.

"Is it another word for being born?" Kimiko asked, "If so, then it's the hospital,"

"I hope not," Kurahashi chuckled to herself.

"No!" Karasuma answered.

"Should I break out the nurse costume again?" Irina whispered to Karasuma.

"Um… uh… later!" Karasuma blurted.

"So is roleplaying like playing pretend?" Natsu asked.

Okajima, who was still pink, was eager to expand on his fetish lesson. "You're right! Sometimes, mommys and daddys like to dress up and play pretend. There's the nurse and the patient, Cop and criminal, a maid and her master-,"

"I'm close to shooting you right now," Karasuma sighed, "How do you do this, Nagisa?"

"It's my life now," Nagisa sighed.

A knock was heard from the ice cream cart once more and Ted opened the hatch. Larry rose from cart once more.

"How would you like to be young forever?" Larry asked.

"There's a catch!" Hara blurted, "There is always a catch! I have died too many times from your stupid products!"

"Well… stop eating them," Larry suggested.

"Are you calling me fat!?" Hara drunkenly shouted.

"I… I didn't imply that at all!" Larry panicked.

"You *bleep*ed up, man," Fernando laughed.

Hara got up and stomped closer to Larry. Larry, being an indoor salesman, had nowhere to run. He was stuck inside the ice cream cart.

"Um… you aren't fat! You are what the Americans call thicc! I'm all about that bass!" Despite his pleading, Hara kept approaching, "Alright fine! The fountain of youth was going to make you a child forever! Happy!?"

"All I wanted was an honest sales pitch," Hara admitted as she calmed down, "What's your price?"

"Dude, we're immortal," Fernando stated, "Why were you so afraid of her?"

"You're not the one stuck in an ice cream cart!" Larry shouted, "As for the price… I see a lot of frogs hopping about… some greenbacks will do,"

Hara shook his hand and the deal was made. Larry made the fountain outside of Kiryuin Manor the Fountain of Youth and relayed this information to the class. He said his goodbyes and returned to the inside of the ice cream cart, closing the hatch behind him.

"Now for The Wizard of Runes and his dares," Bob declared, "Most of his dares set the foundation for our beach activities today. It's why we have a beachside bar, it's why Ted is serving ice cream, and as always he suggests the silly secret missions you guys go on. However, he was a few other dares up his sleeve. First off, let's make Natsu the ultimate anime protagonist and give him Naruto Ninja abilities. I haven't really watched Naruto, either-,"

"You haven't watched Naruto!?" Takebayashi gasped.

"Ain't nobody got time for that *bleep*," Bob sassed, "But I know he can do like shadow clones and some other stuff. The next dare was for me to randomly steal swimsuits without being weird about it but he forgets I'm magic," Bob snapped his fingers and a random person lost their entire swimsuit. Unfortunately that was Hara. However, Natsu was able to snap her swimsuit back into existence with his Infinity Gauntlet Jr.

"Itona, defend the beach with… you know what… you can use the robot army you've amassed to defend against something else later. It's already bad enough another reviewer wants to summon sharks everywhere. Speaking of which, there are now sharks everywhere!"

Bob summoned a bunch of sharks. Sharks in the water, sharks on land with legs, sharknados off on the other island and shark and octopus hybrids. Fortunately the sharks with legs still had gills and suffocated. However, just as the sharks suffocated, Korosensei began to suffocate too,"

"Along with the sharks," Bob continued, "BallsofSteel has given Korosensei the ability to swim, but he can no longer survive on land,"

Upon hearing this, Korosensei rushed to the waters, where he had to deal with the sharks as well. He spent the rest of the session clearing the bay of sharks so that everyone could have a nice time.

"Since Ac's dares are pretty risque," Bob continued, "And the family-friendliness has been pushed to its limit, I am only going to be doing two dares from him today. Sorry dude, popular demand dictates it to be this way. Perhaps we could all come up with a compromise later. Anyway, Karma and Okuda are now a demon king and queen respectively and they are… horny," The sound a drum going ba dum tss, could be heard in the distance, "Aguri, explain your tentacle fetish,"

"Well, I don't know how to put this," Aguri began, "But tentacles can get around and do many things that hands just can't. For example-,"

"We don't need an in depth explanation!" Kayano protested, "It's gross!"

"Don't knock it till you try it," Aguri smiled, "I guess Nagisa eventually comes around,"

"Stop… saying… that!" Nagisa emphasized.

"If it makes you two feel any better. I feel embarrassed too," Korosensei admitted.

"And that's about it!" Bob declared, "Ac had more perverted dares, but I'm sure you are all drunk enough to unintentionally do some of them later on tonight. We'll be here for the next couple days so enjoy yourselves,"

---

The class spent the next few days doing a variety of beach activities. They did the sand castle contest first since Korosensei couldn't walk on land and beat everyone with his mach twenty sand castle building skills. Then later that night they did a limbo contest around a bonfire and Kayano's flexibility and non-existent cleavage allowed her to win first place. The night concluded with a spectacular fireworks show and it was at that moment Ted realized Bob left out a dare submission from Guestspirit.

Ted stripped Bob's magic away and only left him enough power so that Bob can keep himself from dying and sent Bob off into the jungle. After a few minutes of a head start, Ted allowed the class to chase after him and eventually beat the ever living crap out of him. As they beat him mercilessly, Bob kept screaming child abuse, but no one was falling for that.

After Bob's beating and the conclusion of the fireworks show, Ted found the nicest hotel on the island. With all the inhabitants turned to ash, he decided to make Fernando the temporary bellboy and have him operate the hotel. The women slept off their drunkenness and woke up with mild to moderate hangovers the next morning. They spent all day playing volleyball, smashing watermelons and just all round having a good time with each other. However, it was that night that things began to go south.

Karma and Okuda, who had looked vaguely demonic with devil horns and tails, had been walking around the empty village looking up at the night sky. They had just finished lovely dinner prepared by Fernando, who seems to be anywhere and everywhere a service is needed, when they decided to take the scenic route back to the hotel. As they walked around, they noticed a mysterious man, who looked like a medieval plague doctor.

"Who are you?" Karma asked. A random plague doctor standing around in deserted town even gave Karma a chill down his spine.

"I sense the disease in you," The plague doctor spoke as he pointed toward Karma. His voice had a bit of an airy kind of echo, likely because of the mask.

"Disease?" Karma inquired as he approached, "What the hell are you rambling about?"

The plague doctor began to slowly walk up to Karma. Karma was ready to defend himself but as he put his fists up, the plague doctor just touched his fists. He began to convulse and soon dropped over dead. Okuda screamed.

"I do apologize madam," The plague doctor apologized as he kneeled down by Karma's body and pulled out a black medical bag, "But your spouse was infected with The Pestilence,"

"The Pestilence!" Okuda cried, "That hasn't been a problem for hundreds of years!"

"I assure madam, it is a problem and I sense it all across this island. It is my goal as a doctor to cure those afflicted with the disease once and for all,"

"Why aren't you attacking me, then!?" Okuda yelled in a fit of rage, "Since you seem to think everyone has the plague!"

"It's quite simple, I do not sense the disease in you," the plague doctor responded as he began to perform a surgical procedure on Karma's corpse, "Are you a doctor perhaps?"

"I'm Manami Akabane, a medical researcher and that's my husband your cutting into!"

"Ah! A woman of medicine, what progressive times we live in. Not that that bothers me. It does explain why you do not harbor the disease. As for your spouse, Mrs. Akabane, I am performing a procedure to cure him,"

"But he doesn't have the plague!"

After a few minutes of barbaric surgery and Okuda wanting to vomit, the plague doctor Karma's chest cavity and put his tools away.

"Your spouse is cured of the disease," the plague doctor claimed. As soon as he said that, Karma's body rose up and started shambling toward her. She looked into his eyes and saw that they were still cold and dead. The plague doctor just made Karma into a zombie.

"You call this a cure!" Okuda shouted, "He's just a zombie! You're a monster!"

The plague doctor glares at Okuda with his piercing blue eyes, "Well, it is not a perfect cure," He admitted, "I intend to discover a perfect cure in time. However, my cure is most effective,"

Okuda smacked her zombified husband in the side of the head. He fell down and cracked his head on a trashcan. The plague doctor simply sighed and shook his head.

"I am afraid I was too late to save you, Mrs. Akabane. For you see, I sense the disease in you,"

---

The adult couples were out doing various nighttime activities around the island as part of Tales's dare for them to go on wholesome dates. Itona and Hazama were stuck watching all of the kids in one of the hotel suites. Natsu was using his gauntlet for free room service, Kimiko was performing complex calculations, Yoko was coloring, and the rest of the children were watching TV. Itona and Hazama were on the couch watching with them, although they barely paid attention to the silly cartoons the kids were watching.

"I know this might be a tough question, but how do you feel about… your daughter?" Hazama asked.

"Well, I never expected to have one," Itona answered, "But I just feel compelled to… take care of her. I haven't felt this strongly about something in a long time,"

"Well, do you have a name for her?" Hazama asked.

"She came with a note with her name on it, but I can't read it or pronounce it," Itona replied, "I don't have a name yet and if you've seen any of my robots, you'd know I give them my name and a number. I'm not good at coming up with names,"

"What if I come up with one?" Hazama asked.

"What do you have in mind?"

"How about… Tsukiko?" Hazama suggested.

"Better than Itona 207," Itona smirked.

The show that the kids were watching ended and another show came on in its place. On the show's first frame, Itona, Hazama, and Kazuki fell unconscious, however it was late and the rest of the children figured that they all just fell asleep. The show began with a silly animated intro about the titular character, Bobble the Clown. After the intro, the cartoon began with shots of a stereotypical small American town. The title of the episode appeared on screen, 'Bobble's Kitchen Surprise'.

"Hey kids!" Greeted Bobble the Clown, "Today, we're going to learn how to cook a big, yummy meal! Follow me!" The camera followed Bobble as he went into his van and began to stalk the neighborhood. He eventually pulled up to a man walking around the town alone. The clown jumped out of his van, knocked him out, on threw him into the back of the van.

Around this time, Kimiko was done with solving equations and Natsu teleported pizza for everyone.

"What's this show?" Kimiko asked.

"It's Bobble the Clown," Takeshi answered, "I've never heard of it,"

"It's weird, he talked about making a meal. But then he kidnapped a person," Daichi noted.

The kids continued to watch as the clown drove back home and pulled the van into the garage. He took the man out and tied his hands up and hung them from the ceiling.

"So to make human flesh as yummy as possible," Bobble began, "We need to take all that nasty skin,"

The man that the clown kidnapped woke up and began to squirm around as he noticed he was hanging by his arms.

"Oh boy! I sure love it when they're awake!" The clown exclaimed as he got a potato peeler out.

"I- is he going to eat him?" Aria mumbled in horror.

The clown began to peel the man's skin off and the man cried in agony. The kids screamed as they scrambled to find the remote. Before they could, Bobble had finished skinning the man and proceed to gut the him, all while explaining how to go about doing it properly. After successfully changing the channel, Itona, Hazama, and Kazuki woke up.

"What happened?" Hazama asked, "Did we fall asleep?"

"Miss. Hazama! Mr. Horibe! A clown on TV was teaching us how to eat people!" The children cried.

"Well, that's ni-... what!" Itona blurted.

While Itona tried to calm the children down. Hazama received a text message with a photo of Kiryuin Manor. Outside of the manor was a black humanoid figure with a canid-like skull and black hair. The message itself said 'Nice place'.

"What's that?" Itona asked.

"It's this weird app I downloaded yesterday," Hazama answered, "It's kinda like an AI program that pretends to follow you around and message you. It's a little creepy, but I think it's fun,"

"AI? I'm interested. Can you show me how to download it?" Itona asked.

---

Korosensei and Aguri were walking along the beach and enjoying the cool, fresh air when they came upon what appeared to be a naked man curled up in a ball and sobbing to himself. Korosensei went to the man to investigate. Upon closer inspection, the man was quite pale, thin and tall, he had no hair and his arms were way too long for his body.

"Sir?" Korosensei inquired, "Is… is there a problem?" He went around in front and looked at the man's face. His eyes had no color in his eyes and his mouth hung wide open. Upon looking at the man's face, it began to stand up and cry to itself. Aguri watched all this play out from a distance and didn't like where this was heading. After a minute of wailing, the creature attacked Korosensei. No matter what the teacher could do, he couldn't stop the creature from biting him and trying to rip his tentacles apart.

Korosensei flew to the nearby island and dropped him off there, hoping that he wouldn't swim to get him.

"Is that another one of those SCPs?" Aguri asked as Korosensei returned.

"It has to be," Korosensei answered, "It-," Korosensei stopped. He could hear something unusual coming from the water and it was closing in fast, "Get away, Aguri!"

Just as Aguri turned around, the creature emerged from the water running at nearly the speed of sound. It tried to continue it's assault on Korosensei. The octopus got fed up with it and decided to do get rid of it once and for all. He flew the creature up high into the air and just as he reached the edge of the sky, he threw the creature out of Earth's atmosphere and into space. Korosensei returned to his wife and the two continued their date night in peace.

---

Nagisa and Kayano were on their way back from dinner. Their plans for the rest of the night were to enjoy a little bit of alone time together, then try to pick up Natsu before midnight. As the two walked up the stairs to their room, a black, mucus-like substance appeared on the wall next to them. Soon a rotten-looking hand reached out. Nagisa and Kayano backed away as the hand reached out further, revealing more and more of the man as he reached out. He looked like a rotting, old man and had a creepy grin on his face. He stepped out from the wall and began to approach the couple. They both proceeded to run down the stairs and out of the hotel.

"What the hell was that!?" Kayano screamed.

"I don't know, Akari!" Nagisa shouted, "It's probably for weird SCP thing Larry unleashed, I don't fucking know!"

"Hey, that looks like Manami!" Kayano spotted Okuda walking in the distance. The black mucus began to form on the wall next to them and the couple ran toward Okuda. However, when they got to her. They saw that her eyes were lifeless and that it looked like she was poorly operated on. They ran away from her and noticed the plague doctor.

"I sense the disease in you," The plague doctor spoke.

"We aren't safe!" Kayano screamed. Nagisa took ahold of her wrist and the two kept running through the town. They continued for what seemed like an eternity until they were by the beach were the session began. They took a moment to catch their breath, but heard the cries of Terasaka and his gang off in the distance. A shooting star also happened to light up the night sky and a faint crying, screaming noise could be heard as the star descended upon the other side of the island.

"Help! Anybody!" screamed Terasaka from the jungle.

"Muramatsu's injured!" screamed Yoshida.

As much as they didn't want to, Nagisa and Kayano figured that survival in numbers was a good strategy and the two cautiously entered the jungle.

"Terasaka! Yoshida!" The couple called out.

"I can't see you two!" Terasaka shouted, "Follow the sound of our voice!"

The couple continued until they reached the approximate location of the shouting. Instead of finding the gang, they stumbled upon two red, four legged creatures with only a giant mouth with large teeth for a head.

"Thank God you've come to help us!" One of the creatures shouted in Yoshida's voice.

"We're sorry about everything we've done to you, Nagisa," said the other creature in Terasaka's voice.

The couple tried to turn around and flee, but a pack of zombies, featuring Sugino, Kanzaki, Fuwa, and Okuda, led by the plague doctor approached from the direction they came from. The old, rotting man appeared to climb out of the floor and approach them and to make matters worse, a creepy, brown statue suddenly appeared. The couple knew this was the end of the line. They embraced each other and awaited their inevitable deaths.

Crunch

Crunch

---

Back at the manor, Uzu and Satsuki had just finished smoking a blunt together out by the fountain. As a joke, Uzu playfully pushed her in. Satsuki climbed out and noticed that, not only were her clothes wet, they felt much larger.

"Uzu… did something happen?" Satsuki asked. Unaware of the deal Hara made with Larry.

"Satsuki… you're like… ten,"

"Maybe you need to slow down on the-," Satsuki began to make a joke about Uzu smoking too much weed, but noticed her voice changed too, "Crap,"

Hey everyone! Ted here! I definitely skipped a few dares here and there for a lot of you and I apologize. It seems as though every chapter I write as of late gets longer and longer. My only complaint with that is it just makes updates less frequent. I may decide to break up some of the intro/outro parts into their own little mini chapters. What do you all think? My only concern is that it'd cut too much out of the main chapters since the consequences from the dares are the real meat of the story. (At least in my opinion)

Too bad everyone kinda got killed by rouge SCPs. You can all thank PhantomTehCasual for that one.

Cheshire, I have no hard feelings. Thanks for the criticism involving your adaptation of your OC's. I'll try to keep this in mind if I invite others along. Bob's just a dick.

Ac, you'll have your perversions, but I am beginning to realize that not all ToD's can be treated equally. Everyone seems to suggest relatively PG to PG-13 dares, while your dare go to R and X rated. It's a balance that is hard to strike as the shift in tone varies drastically from one style to another. I hope that the strip club part, while not a dare you submitted, was entertaining for you, as well as everyone else who finds the smut to be a little excessive.

SCPs featured: 1331 (*bleep*), 049 ("I sense the disease in you"), 993 (Bobble the Clown), 1471 (MalO, we'll see the after effects of this one later), 096 (Shy guy, wrestled around with Korosensei all night), 106 (The old man), 939 (Those creatures that were pretending to be the Terasaka gang)

But at this point, I'm tired and it's way past bedtime. I'm basically doing the author's equivalent of rambling. Can't wait to see the reviews. Good night!