A/N: I had a project that I have to do for the last two weeks! I had this chapter written on paper, I just had no time to type it up. I'm so sorry that it took so long!
I'm re-writing Ten Years in Lost Memory. For more of an explanation click on my profile, I explained it beautifully there…
Well, here it is… just for clarification Hermione decided to take the shot but she hasn't told Ron yet, that is where we begin, they are in the Royal Library…
Chapter Thirty Three
March
Hermione was in heaven. She was in the biggest library in the known universe with the man of her dreams standing next to her.
Unfortunately, the man of her dreams was not as excited about all of the books.
Ron had hardly registered the look of happiness on Hermione's face before he was being pulled towards one of the huge aisles. She held Ron's hand as she scanned the shelves for a book written in English. Once she found one, she squealed in excitement and snatched it from the shelf. She led Ron over to a table, sat down, flipped the book open and began to read.
Ron sat next to her and watched her for a moment. They had so much that they needed to talk about. But the look of joy on Hermione's face kept Ron from bringing anything up.
Hermione had made up her mind about the shot, but she had not told Ron about it yet. She was worried that he would not want to go through with it. So, for a while she kept her decision to herself.
She read for several minutes before looking up at Ron. He was staring at the ceiling. From the movement of his lips, she guessed that he was counting the ceiling tiles.
"I've made up my mind, Ron," she said. Ron looked at her confusedly.
"About what?" he asked.
"If we want to help Harry win this war, we have to be strong enough to do it. As humans we don't stand a chance against Atu's armies. If we want to be involved, if we want to help him at all, we need to be Pagans. Harry's given us an easy way to do that," Hermione said.
"So, what have you decided?" Ron asked. He knew Hermione was right about everything she had said. In their current state they did not stand a chance against any Pagan, especially Atu. Even after everything she had said, he was readying himself to hear her say she was not ready for that step and that they would just have to stay out of the war.
Hermione put her hand over Ron's and smiled up at him. "You may not be ready to hear this, I'm not even sure I'm ready to say it. But it's true and unless you feel the same I'm not going through with this shot thing," Hermione said.
"What are you talking about?" He asked. Hermione looked down at her lap.
"I love you, Ron." She whispered it. That was the first time she had ever said it out loud. She was not even sure about it in her head until she heard herself say it. When those words escaped her lips she was sure. She knew they were true.
When Ron had been quiet for a moment, she looked up at him. He was staring at her in utter shock. It was a familiar look that made Hermione smile. "I love you," she said again. This time with more confidence. "I want to spend forever with you."
"You wanna…… You love…… Why?" Ron asked. He could not comprehend why anyone would love him. He was not rich or famous. He did not think of himself as particularly good looking. He could not give her everything she deserved. He was just Ron.
"I don't know why I love you, Ron. Or why I'm so sure it'll all work out for us. But I am. I am so in love with you. Just you." Hermione reached out and cupped Ron's cheek.
"I… I… I…" Ron was not great with words. He wanted to say the same to Hermione, but could not think of the perfect way to do it. And it had to be perfect.
"If you don't love me, Ron, don't say you do." She was whispering again and looking at her lap, willing herself not to cry.
"I'm not good enough to love you half as much as I do," Ron said. He gathered up as much Gryffindor courage as he could and held Hermione's face in his hands. "I love you, Hermione Granger. And if you'll have me, I'd love to spend forever with you…………" She broke out in sobs. Ron shifted uncomfortably in his seat and tried to think of a way to make her smile. "I can picture our future now, actually," he said. "We're sitting on the front porch of our beautiful little house. Both of us hundreds of years old. There I am trying to do a new spell and you're yelling at me because I'm doing it completely wrong as usual. And you keep saying that if I don't manage to do it right I'll take someone's eye out." Hermione laughed through her tears and hugged Ron.
"Do you want to go now?" She asked.
"Go where?" he asked. She laughed.
"Go get the shot," she clarified.
"Oh…" Ron did not want to look desperate. But the thought of touching Hermione in any intimate way drove him wild. He tried to nod casually, but failed miserably.
Hermione smiled coyly and pulled Ron out of the library.
----
Ginny lay in the Hospital Wing of the palace. She had told Harry about their baby in her letter to him. She was not sure that it was the right choice to tell him in a letter, but it was too late at that point.
Ginny wished that she was not afraid to tell her family. She really did not want to be alone right then. She wanted to be with Harry, but that was not going to happen. He had sailed off a week ago.
She watched him disappear on the horizon and fought the urge to jump in the water and swim after him. Instead she went with her gut and cried.
So far she hated being pregnant. She cried all the time, could not sleep or even sit still, she was even more hot tempered than she usually was, she was hungry all the time and she had to use the toilet every five minutes. But most of all she hated the fact that she had no one to talk to about it.
The doctor she was female, but had not had a child in hundred of years. Ginny needed someone. She wanted to talk to her mother about it, but she was worried that her mother would be ashamed of her.
Ginny got out of the hospital bed and walked over to the bathroom in the corner. She had to go again. When she came out she saw Lily sitting by the side of her hospital bed. Ginny had been having a hard time looking Lily in the eyes for the past week. Those compassionate, emerald eyes reminded her too much of Harry. She would often break down in the middle of talking to Lily.
Ginny looked down at her ugly hospital gown and bare feet. She sat down in a chair across the bed from Lily and examined her lap.
"Your mother's worried about you, Ginny," Lily said, breaking the silence.
"Worried? Why would she be worried?" Ginny asked. She knew damn well why her mother would be worried.
"She said that you won't go to the Fantle House for dinner anymore and that you've refused to see her on many occasions. I'd say she has every right to be worried." Lily crossed her arms. The truth was that Ginny worried that if she spent too much time with her mother she would break down and tell her. "To be honest, I'm worried about you too, Ginny. You're acting the way I did when James went away while I was pregnant. Every little thing that reminded me of him made me sob uncontrollably. I know you're worried about Harry, but this a bit of an over reaction," Lily said. Ginny choked out a sob and then wiped her face quickly. Lily reached across the bed and rubbed Ginny's arm. "You can tell me what's wrong. If it's personal I won't tell anyone," Lily promised. Ginny nodded and blew her nose in a tissue.
"I… I… I'm…" Ginny began. It had been so much easier to talk about with Lyra. Mostly because she already knew. "I think I'm- I mean I know I'm… Oh Gods." Ginny put her head in her hands and cried. Lily got up and hugged Ginny.
"Darling, if it's so bad perhaps we should write to Harry," Lily said. Ginny shook her head.
"He-he-he already kn-kn-knows!"
"And he still left?" Lily asked. She sounded very upset. "Leave him in the human world and he becomes a terrible boyfriend!" Lily mumbled to herself.
"No, I told him in a letter," Ginny said, shakily. "And it's really not a bad thing. At least it's not supposed to be. I'm just all alone. I never wanted to deal with this alone, I never thought I'd have to."
"Are you sick, dear?" Lily asked.
"No, I'm pregnant." Lily put her arms around Ginny, but could not help cursing under her breath. "I'm four weeks pregnant! Four bloody weeks of being always sad, always mad, always hungry and all alone!" Ginny pulled away from Lily and pounded her fists against the wall. She started to cry again and slipped down the wall. Lily sat down next to Ginny on the floor. "He should be here. He should be with me, not off on some ship. It isn't fair." Lily held Ginny in her arms and rubbed her back.
"Why haven't you told your parents, Ginny?" she asked once Ginny had settled down.
"I'm their little girl, their pride and joy. They will be so disappointed in me. They'll be so ashamed. I can't- I can't tell them!" Ginny exclaimed. Lily patted Ginny's hair and sighed.
"I'm not going to tell you what to do, darling. What I will say, though, is that your mother will love you no matter what you do. The only true unconditional love is from you mum. I believe that your parents will be mad, but I doubt they will be disappointed or ashamed. They love you. And if they look at this the way I am, it was a mistake, right?" Ginny nodded. "Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone makes big mistakes and this is a big mistake. You should know, Ginny that your mother will never ever stop loving you," Lily said. Ginny looked into Lily's eyes. She jumped when a knock came at the door. It opened and the doctor pocked her head in.
"Am I interrupting something?" the doctor asked.
"No, I'll be going," Lily said. She pulled Ginny to her feet.
"Please don't go, Lily. I don't want to be alone," she said. Lily nodded and smiled.
"All right, let's begin." The doctor closed the door behind her.
"Wait, I have to use the toilet," Ginny said.
----
Harry ran into James' room on the massive boat they were taking to Dystop. James looked up from the book he was reading to his frantic looking son. Harry thrust Ginny's letter into his father's hands and paced back and forth while James read it. James finished the letter, looked back at Harry and sighed.
"What am I going to do? I can't not be with her right now! She's pregnant and I'm on bloody boat going who knows where! She needs me, dad! We have to go back!" Harry yelled. James leaned back in his chair and tried to remain calm for his son's sake.
"We can't go back, Harry," James said.
"What do you BLOODY mean 'we can't go back'!" Harry yelled. "We have to! She needs me! I am NOT, I repeat, am NOT going to make her deal with this by herself! She is pregnant with my child! I have responsibility to be there for her! I can't just bail out on her now!"
"Which is exactly why we can't go back."
"Are you going to bloody explain yourself or are you going to force me to turn the boat around myself?" Harry said. He stared angrily at his father, hating the fact that James seemed so calm.
"Harry, you need to make sure that the world you're bringing your child into is a safe and good one. If you turn back now, you are bailing on, not only her, but your child as well," James said. Harry made an enraged noise and punched the wall.
"I can't do it, dad!" he yelled, more in defeat than in anger.
"Can't do what, Harry?" James asked.
"I can't kill him."
"Of course you can."
"No, dad. If I go into that fort, something goes wrong and I never come out again, what'll happen to Ginny and my baby? I can't risk them."
"Nothing will go wrong, Harry."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because me and very troop on this ship is going with you," James said.
"You don't even know what I plan to do," Harry said.
"Then tell me." Harry looked away from his father.
"Migdigus gave me some Corolith and I'm going to use it."
"Bloody hell." James and Harry stayed quiet for a while. They did not look at each other. Both were deep in thought.
Somewhere in Harry's mind he remembered what Babblesworth had said to him so long ago. He had said that Ginny would be his reason to look back, to think that he could not possibly go on. And Babblesworth was right. Harry did not think he could go on with his plan. There was too much at steak. He did not think that he would die, but the possibility that he might was too much bear. He could not leave Ginny alone with his baby, he would not.
"You're not going to die, Harry," James said breaking into Harry's thoughts. "The Corolith and the fact that you're Dien will prevent that."
"He is Dien too."
"Take his head and his heart, only old Dien can survive that. You're worrying over nothing."
"Nothing? I'm worrying over nothing? This is my child and the woman I will marry, and they mean nothing?"
"That's not what I said, Harry," James said calmly.
"Well, what did you said? I'm worried about them, and you said that I was worrying over nothing!" Harry said getting mad again.
"Don't lie to yourself, Harry. You are worried that you will die and be unable to take care of them. You will not die, so stop worrying," James said firmly.
"I don't think I can stop," Harry said.
"Well, as a father you never will."