Authors note: Soooo...The fic made it onto TvTropes, wow. I don't know what to say, but thanks a lot. That's pretty awesome, thanks for all the support, and the 15,000 views everyone. And I am very sorry if this chapter is horrible, me and my two proofreaders had a large back and forth between us all, and couldn't really decide on a lot of things. This is Fallen pens, dropping out.
"Ow! I thought you said it'd be easier to get out!" Lola whined, feeling her hair get tugged. Lisa stood on a stool while her slightly older sister had her head in the sink with the water running against her hair.
"And we're already nearly complete, but sadly the quick way is the painful way. Apologies," Lisa adjusted her glasses before returning to the hair dye removal. Why Lana, the sister who loved getting messy, used homemade dye bombs for some of her games was beyond Lisa's comprehension.
"Lisa!" Luan came rushing into the kitchen, Lucy following right behind her.
"Hm? Yes, Luan, is something wrong? If my computer shut off suddenly, it most likely had its safety mechanism triggered by a small power surge again," Lisa explained, expecting things to get more complicatedly chaotic for the Loud house.
"No, not that. I don't even care about THAT video anymore. Lucy and I saw a 'special' video you had saved away in your computer," Luan replied, not sure how to start. There was no calm way to approach this, but going full out demanding an aggressive was not her style and seemed unfitting for the situation at hand.
"Alright, I'll confess…" Lisa huffed, "I used a growth formula on the plants to see if they'd react any differently from one another, but it should not alter results whatsoever…"
"No no no no! Not that video," Luan was too afraid to say the exact words.
"The video of Lincoln and Luna having sex," Lucy flatly broke the ice. Luan face palmed, wondering how the gothic was able to be so tactless about matters. Lisa got knocked down when a shocked Lola leaped up from her hair washing session.
"WHAT?!" the beauty lover was in awe at the news. Luan really wished their gothic sibling had withheld the information for this exact reason. Now things were going to spread like wildfire, as usual for the Loud house.
"Well… I certainly won't judge you for watching it, but I am upset at the invasion of not just my privacy, but also our siblings'," Lisa adjusted her glasses after getting up, and began to dry off her hands now that she had finished cleaning the dye off Lola's hair.
"Lincoln and Luna were doing 'it'? Does that mean… Ohhhh god, my prince!" Lola was overwhelmed. Lucy nodded, her dark heart feeling just as equally torn up inside. It was not too shocking that Lola knew what the comedic Loud was talking about.
"Lola, you need to calm that anger down or else you might get an even 'shorter' fuse," Luan tried, and failed to lighten up the mood. nobody even gave a groan. Lola and Lucy seemed too upset to think about it.
"So can you tell us what's going on, please? I'm kinda scared what will happen when Lori finds out," Luan stated. Once one Loud found out a secret, it tended to spread throughout to the others like a hideous disease. they did not even want to imagine how the practical second mother figure to the family would react.
"You don't need to worry. Judging by Lola's daze from the shock, Lucy's depression from heartbreak, and your rather shockingly calm reaction, I doubt there is anything whatsoever to fear," Lisa reassured, trying to sidestep the situation entirely. She did not feel too confident in answering questions meant for Lincoln and Luna.
"THEY'RE WHAT?!" The house shook. It was definitely Lori's voice.
"Meep," Luan bit her lip in fear.
"Well. It appears the news spread faster than anticipated. At least we're not alone to face her anger," the child prodigy claimed, considering the aftermath of the eruption about to transpire. They could hear the door upstairs be forced open.
"That's about as accurate as a broken bullseye… Because we're the only ones that have to grab the bull by the horns in this situation," Luan retorted. Surely enough, Lucy had vanished, most likely into the air vents, and Lola had gone off to hide in another room.
"Oh, critical plutonium…" Lisa took her glasses off her face and began rubbing her eyes in frustration, Luan could hear Lori's stomps down the staircase.
"Lincoln! Luna! Where are you?!" Lori stormed into the kitchen to find the half terrified younger sisters of hers.
"They're still out. Uhh… I-is everything okay Lori?" Luan nervously greeted. Everyone heard about that fight upstairs from earlier today. The walls were thin enough for them to hear the commotion through them.
"No! Everything's NOT okay! Bobby just called me and told me who the father for Luna's baby is!" Lori exclaimed, seeming to have her rage mostly from the aftermath of her sobbing.
"Really? My, how fascinating… Well, I must return to my research. I'll be more than happy to hear about this later, preferably when things have calmed down." Lisa tried to leave, but sadly she had no escape. Not unless she wanted to dive out the kitchen window.
"We know, too…" Luan murmured fearfully.
"How long have you two known?" Lori glared hard. She was not letting them go anywhere until she got some answers. Clearly being furious at the fact this was going on behind her back.
"I just found out today," the comedian answered.
"Too long, evidently," Lisa avoided directly answering. Their parents were luckily not going to be back from work for another few hours. Otherwise things would be far worse.
"I can't believe it. He didn't care that I was getting on Luna's case because of her choices! He was only mad at me because she's having his baby!" Lori still could not say that without having a half second blank out in her brain from merely imagining it.
"Don't you think you're jumping the baby carriage here?" the comedian could not resist making the joke.
"She is correct. This is all a bit presumptuous," the young genius saw the opening to try and relieve the situation, and she was willing to take it like it was an open door to escape from a burning building.
"What are you two talking about? And no science talk," Lori could not tolerate anymore beating around the bush. Luan left it to their little sister to save them both from the rage of Lori.
"Lori, just consider this. There is a chance for Lincoln to be the father, indeed. BUT, you must take into account that he could be nothing more than another mere mating partner of Luna's. They could have used protection as well. There are too many possibilities to go after them so blindly, and IF you are wrong, all you will have done is made Lincoln and Luna despise you further by alienating them," Lisa elaborated to the best of her ability. To say she was lying was an understatement. Her words though seemed to ring deep in their oldest sister's mind. The mere thought of having any of their siblings, especially Lincoln, hating her was a depressing thing to imagine.
"So… what?" Lori growled, "You want to pretend that it never happened? What if they 'do it' regularly?"
"I miss when the most I had to worry about was the neighborhood raccoons sneaking into the basement…" Luan exhaled. How things could calm down and escalate at the same time in other regards was beyond her.
"There, there, Luan… Ah-hem! As I was saying… we should not ignore it, but we should also not explode the situation. Quite frankly, we aren't going to really know who the father is until that baby is born," Lisa surmised, her hair covering up the sweat beads breaking out on her forehead.
"She can just get a paternity test," the oldest Loud claimed, "She's definitely far enough along for it."
"She is, but the problem with prenatal testing, is that the invasive method runs a risk of causing a miscarriage, and the non-invasive way doesn't guarantee full accuracy. We must face the fact, Lori, that the most we can do is consult them and wait until the child is born," Lisa finished panting slightly from this entire talk, feeling ready to faint on the spot. Working under stress was no specialty of hers, and it was another reason why she loved science since it rarely demanded full attention.
"…fine… tell me when they get home. We're having a family meeting, without mom and dad," Lori declared. She was old enough to do so, and if they disagreed, she would surely tell their parents.
"Okay, we will. You don't have to worry, 'mom'," Luan joked. Lori silently headed out the kitchen to try and cool down. After a moment of silence, Luan hugged her brainiac sister for saving them.
"Wow, Lisa! You really are good in this type of trouble! I didn't even know about half of that stuff!"
"Yes, well… Don't take most of it into account. 70% of what I said was false… Now if you'll excuse me, I need a nap," Lisa, after making that reply, left the kitchen, not caring for the dye removal gear left messily on the kitchen counter. Unfortunately this gave Luan an idea.
"I know! This stuff is good for removing dye, but I can make dye with it... I know how to make everyone feel better," Luan gained a bright smile, though she had a bad feeling that almost nobody would be feeling good after tonight. She was hoping that maybe this would be the way to fix the inevitable aftermath.
"Lincoln's the daddy and Luna's the mommy?" Lily had been secretly peeking in from the side of the back door. She glared, while wondering to herself. She was not too happy with Lori's actions either. If their eldest sister was going to upset Lincoln and Luna further today, the two Lily herself loved the most out of their whole family, she was going to make sure Lori would regret upsetting them. The youngest Loud began to ponder a plan.
"Lily is going to be a good aunt! …What will make Lori more upset if she's mean to them…? …oh, I know!"
"Today went pretty well. Nothing could really sour my mood now," a happy Lincoln approached his home, where he noticed Leni and Luna standing on the porch, both in a conversation, seeming just as happy as him.
"Lincoln! You won't believe it!" Luna excitedly greeted, hugging him tightly before she could let him reply.
"Won't believe what? Did Charles find a box of antique coins in the backyard again?" Lincoln blindly guessed. Luna laughed at that innocent reply.
"No! The Recardia Record Label made a deal with her! They're going to upload Luna's videos online, and she'll get a better contract if they do great!" Leni eagerly exclaimed. The two had barely gotten home a few minutes before he arrived.
"Really? That's great! I think… But yeah! I've got great news, too! I got a part time job at a pet shop not too far into town," Lincoln was still not sure how to feel about this second record deal, but if Luna was certain this was not an underhanded trick by the company, he would fully support it.
"That's awesome, dude! I owe you a lot, too. I'd never be here if you hadn't given me my confidence, little bro. You're the best," Luna claimed. Lincoln gladly returned the hug for her, Leni deciding to join in as well.
"Oh, hey! You guys are home! You have some really good timing," they heard Lynn, who stood at the doorway. She had come to take the trash to the garbage cans when she saw them.
"Hey Lynn," Lincoln greeted as he ended the group hug between him Luna and Leni, "what's going on?"
"Lori wanted to have a family meeting. Lola and Lucy are acting kind of weirder than normal too," Lynn shrugged, not entirely sure what the meeting was about.
"A family meeting? But mom and dad aren't home yet," Leni could not see their parents' car in the driveway. Lynn looked as equally perplexed as them. It was a safe guess that this meeting might be about their parents, a fact that worried them all.
"Well, go round everyone up! We've got great news," Luna grinned as they all stepped into the home, more than eager for this meeting so she and Lincoln could announce what they had accomplished today that made things look up for them.
"Alright!" Leni agreed, going off with Lynn to help gather everybody into the living room. Lincoln noticed a disturbing lack of noise in the house. It was a terrible sign to him.
"Uh, Luna?" Lincoln coughed, grabbing her attention, "I'm not saying we should be worried, but I'm just saying whatever happens, we should take it easy."
"Hah! Don't worry about me, bro. It's not like this meetings about us," Luna insisted. That was what he always told her, not that she really could control her personal stress that well. They soon noticed Lori at the bottom of the stairs, having come down during their momentary distraction.
"You're both in trouble. BIG trouble."