Regrets
By Risa
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Author's Notes: Sorry about the long wait! I've been having exams the past two weeks and I've finally got a one week break before my exams start again. In any case, too much studying has already affected my brain, as seen from the John Donne reference in this chapter. :-) I hope you'll enjoy the chapter and thanks for all the great reviews!
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Chapter Ten
Phoebe stirred and turned in her sleep, snuggling against a body whose contours were so familiar to her. Startled, her eyes sprang open.
Please don't let this be a dream.
It wasn't. Cole was there, undeniably real. She stared at him, transfixed, scarcely believing that it was really him. Slowly, the memory of what all that happened the previous day registered in her mind. She sighed. What was she going to do now? Where should they go from here?
But God, she loved him so much. It had been so many long since she had been able to sleep so peacefully. But Phoebe was still uncertain. Did she want to go through everything again just to have it cruelly taken away from her once more?
Cole stirred and his eyes opened slowly. A soft, gentle smile appeared on his face when he saw Phoebe. "Hey," he greeted, reaching up his hand to touch her hair and cheek.
"Hey yourself," Phoebe said, grinning. Whatever worries and fears that she had could wait. Right now, Phoebe didn't want to do anything to mar the exquisite beauty of the night before.
"Last night – " Cole started.
" – was beautiful. Absolutely, incredibly, delightfully beautiful," Phoebe said, trying to steer away any talk about the future.
"But – "
"No buts," Phoebe said, her eyes pleading with Cole to understand. "Let's just enjoy what we have right now, okay? We can worry about the future later."
Cole hesitated. A part of him wanted to talk about what happened and not try to ignore reality. Another part of him agreed with her. Just the two of them, lying together in a quiet room… It was so easy to forget that there was a world beyond these four walls, that there any time beyond the present. What harm could it do? Cole thought, trying to shrug away his own worries. Just for a few hours… Softly, he quoted, "For love, all love of other sights controls, and makes one little room, an everywhere."
"Let us possess our world; each hath one, and is one," Phoebe quoted in return, grinning. "John Donne, 'The Good-Morrow.'" At Cole's look of surprise, she said, "I did his poems in a course once."
Cole pulled Phoebe tightly against him, as she leaned her head against his chest, sighing. "My father loved his poetry," Cole said quietly.
Phoebe raised her head to see Cole's look of sorrow and regret. Trying to turn his mind away from the sad memories, she said, "Tell me again why you love me."
"You should get a tape recorder," Cole said.
"Why?"
"It'll be easier to just record it, considering the number of times you've made me repeat it. That way, you can listen to it anytime you want."
"Cole!" Phoebe said, swatting him lightly. He laughed.
His laughter abruptly stopped when he heard voices and footsteps outside. "I can't believe that you left him alone in the room with Phoebe the entire night!" Paige said.
"Look Paige," Piper said reasonably, "Cole wouldn't hurt – "
"That's not what I'm worried about," Paige interrupted. Then the room door opened and Paige and Piper walked in. "Phoebe, are you – " Paige started, then stopped as she saw Phoebe and Cole in the bed, her eyes growing wide.
"Um… good morning," Phoebe said lamely as she pulled the blankets closer to her.
"Good morning?" Paige said, recovering from her shock. "Good morning? What the hell do you think – "
"Paige, let's give them some privacy, okay?" Piper interrupted, pulling Paige out of the room with her. She then poked her head back into the door and said, with some embarrassment, "Ah… Sorry about that. We'll…uh…we'll wait for you downstairs." Then she quickly left, dragging a still-shouting Paige.
"Oh dear," Cole said mildly, trying to restrain his laughter.
"I think we better get dressed," Phoebe said, sighing in resignation.
When the two of them came down to the kitchen, they received a glare from Paige and slightly uncomfortable looks from Piper and Leo. "I suppose the two of you slept well," Paige said sarcastically.
"Paige," Leo said before either Phoebe or Cole could respond, "we can talk about this later." Right now, he was more worried about his daughter. Whatever was between Phoebe and Cole could wait.
"So," Phoebe said as she poured herself some orange juice, trying to turn the subject away from Cole and herself, "you guys manage to do the spell?"
Piper nodded. "We managed to modify the spell you used to separate Cole and Belthazor using the name in the papers, changed a few of the ingredients here and there." She pointed to a bottle of blue liquid on the kitchen counter.
"How does the spell work anyway?" Cole asked.
"You know how when two strings are intertwined it's difficult to separate the two of them?" Phoebe said. "Well, this spell 'untwines' these two strands by differentiating the two different spirits through their different signatures. Every spirit, soul whatever, has its own unique signature and certain elements that go with that. This spell uses that."
"Okay," Leo said, "now that everyone's here, let's get to work."
They went upstairs to Melinda's room. They stood over the bed and looked down at the still unconscious Melinda before looking at each other slightly nervously. "Ready?" Piper said softly, clutching the bottle tightly in her hand.
They nodded. She took a deep breath and opened the bottle, pouring the liquid over Melinda. Then she took a step back, holding Leo's hand tightly as she watched. First, grey smoke appeared and Melinda began to struggle and scream. Her eyes sprang open, devoid of any reason or expression beyond pain. Piper began to cry and only Leo's grip on her hand kept her from going to her daughter. Leo looked at his daughter in fear and worry, sending a quiet plea to whatever powers that were listening to let his daughter survive this.
Suddenly, there was silence. The smoke was gone and Melinda was on the bed, quietly sleeping.
"Did it work?" Paige asked softly.
"I don't know," Piper said, as moved to Melinda. Her hand gently brushing the hair away from her daughter's face, she said, "Mel, wake up, Mel."
Slowly her daughter stirred and her eyes fluttered open. When she saw Piper, she smiled sleepily and said, "Mommy," before turning and falling asleep again.
"I think she should be okay," Cole said. "But let me give a call to Basil and get him here." He reached for his mobile. "Hey Basil," he said after a moment, "do you think you can come to the Halliwell Manor. We need to check if the spell worked." After another moment, he put away his mobile and said, "Basil says he's coming."
Within minutes there was the sound of footsteps up the staircase and Basil walked into the room. "How is she?" he asked.
"She woke up just now – she seemed normal," Piper replied.
Basil nodded, before he knelt beside Melinda, holding her hand in his and shutting his eyes.
"What's he doing?" Leo asked Cole.
"I'm not really sure," Cole said, "he might be checking for the presence of the demon – Basil's telepathic."
Basil's eyes opened after a few minutes and he grinned, "Yep, she's fine now. I couldn't find any sign of anyone else in her mind."
"I thought you said that the advantage of this… thing the demons did was that you can't sense the presence of the demon," Phoebe said, curious.
"You can't sense the demon if you're talking about auras. When the demon is combined with the human, the aura doesn't bear any signature of evil." Basil said, "But you can still detect the demon if you can enter the mind. Thing is, there aren't many people with telepathic powers and you wouldn't probe into someone's mind unless you had any reason to. Most of time, people determine whether a person's evil through the aura. This makes them difficult to detect until it's too late."
"Thank God she's okay," Piper said, smiling in relief. Leo placed his hands on her shoulders and said, "You go get some rest, you barely got any sleep. I'll watch Mel."
"Cole, can I talk to you?" Basil asked. Cole nodded and followed Basil out of the room.
"Some of our people reported back with some information a few hours ago," Basil said, passing Cole a large envelope that he had been holding. As Cole opened it and pulled out some papers, Basil continued, "They got the names of some of the main demons involved in this thing. We've got people going after some of these demons; the ones that you're supposed to deal with are in the envelope. Basically what you have to do is find the demon, find out whether there are any other demons involved that we aren't aware of and if there are any other surviving test subjects. Then, destroy whatever information pertaining to the procedure, kill the demon and report back whatever information you manage to get."
"Okay," Cole said, "I'll get on it as soon as I can."
"So how's it going with Phoebe?" Basil asked.
Cole looked at him, startled. "Why are you asking?"
"Just curious," Basil said. "If there's still a chance, go for it. Don't let yourself regret that you didn't try hard enough."
"I know," Cole said, sighing. "But I don't want to get myself involved again if a brief fling is all she wants. It's going to hurt too damned much." He ignored the mental voice that said, You're already involved too deep for your own good.
"Whatever happens, you do know that you can leave the neutrals whenever you want and the Committee wouldn't object? Because of free will and all that jazz?" Basil said, referring to the group of neutrals in charge of the running of the group.
Cole nodded. "Right now though, I don't think I'll be going anywhere."
While Basil and Cole were talking outside together, Piper asked Phoebe, "What was last night about? Are the two of you getting back together?"
"I don't know," Phoebe said with a sigh of frustration. "I still love him – that probably will never change. But I don't know… what if he becomes evil again? What if all this just ends up in more suffering and pain for you guys? What if I become evil because of him again?"
"You didn't, Phoebe," Paige said, "not really. In the end, you still came back and helped us." Phoebe looked at her with some surprise and Paige grinned. "I might not like Cole, but it doesn't mean that makes me blind to the truth." Then she sobered. "If you really love him, go for it. It's better than regretting all your life over what might have been. Whatever happens, we'll be there to help you deal. Again, this doesn't mean I've changed my mind about Cole, but if it'll make you happy…"
"Every relationship has its risks, Phoebe," Leo added, "even though this one has more risks than most. But what you do, your life as a Charmed One, has its own inherent risks. Besides, remember, Cole becoming evil the last time wasn't his choice. It was his desire to help us that eventually gave the Source the opening he needed. It's not something you can blame him for. Given the choice, I don't think Cole would willingly become evil."
"Whatever you decide, Phoebe, don't lead him on for too long," Piper said, "if you just want a short trip down memory lane and not anything permanent, tell him now. Don't let it drag on as it'll only hurt both of you more.
Phoebe sighed, "I know," she said quietly, "I guess it's time for me to talk to him. Perhaps it's something that I should have done from the start."
*~ To Be Continued ~*