Nor Dare I Question with My Jealous Thought
Harry quickly stood and followed the fast moving teen. He could not get the idea that Malfoy actually liked him through his brain. Of course he knew it, the blonde's actions made it very clear, but the fact that Malfoy actually, somewhat, admitted it made him giddy.
"Where are we going?" Harry asked again when he caught up.
"You will see, just be patient." Draco stopped at the corner of a hallway and glanced around to make sure no one would see them or follow them before moving again. "Hurry up would you?" He called over his shoulder at the slow moving Brunet.
"Why are you walking so fast?" Harry called back quickening his step to match Draco's.
"I don't want anyone to see us together, let alone follow us." Draco snorted as if it were obvious.
"Okay, we are going to need to work on that snotty attitude, Malfoy." Harry grumbled and sighed dramatically when he saw the blonde roll his eyes. They passed the ever moving staircases and walked out of the castle. As they passed Hagrid's warm and welcoming hut, Harry had flashbacks to the time when he thought he would never see the friendly giant again, let alone experience the warmth of the small cottage. Draco led him into the dark shadows of the Forbidden Forest and more memories floated up.
"Why are you taking me through here? I thought this place scared you." Harry asked, honestly confused.
"Sacred? Me, Draco Malfoy, scared? Ha!"
"Oh, brave are you? What about first year when you nearly jumped into my arms when we came across that hooded figure?"
"First of all, it was drinking unicorn blood, who the hell wouldn't get jumpy with that unexpected scene, especially when they are only eleven? And secondly, shut up!" Harry chuckled at the flushed Draco before him. He could get used to this. After some time, Malfoy finally came to a stop at a small clearing that looked almost exactly like the one Harry died in the night of Voldemort's defeat. The only missing thing was the fire pit and masked figures.
"Why are we here?" Harry asked, a little uncomfortable and on alert.
"It's my favorite spot." Draco smiled and Harry did a double take.
"Did you just smile?"
"Yeah, I have been doing that a lot lately." Draco sighed and sat under a great fir tree and patted the ground next to him. "Come, join me." Harry smirked and sat by his side. He leaned back against the cool trunk and closed his eyes, taking in the fresh pine smell of the forest.
"You know, a little further up there is a stream that the Thestrals hang out at." Harry opened his eyes to look at Draco, who looked back confused.
"Thestrals? What are those?"
"They are these fleshless winged horses that only people who have seen death can see. They are the ones that pull the carriages."
"You're lying."
"No really, follow me." Harry said standing and offered his hand like Malfoy did for him back in the classroom. Draco stared at it for awhile before finally grabbing it, but instead of letting go, Harry entwined their fingers and pulled him in the direction of the stream. Draco looked down at the clasped hands and tried to pull his free.
"You can let go, Potter."
"What if I don't want to?"
"What if I break your nose?"
"I'll turn you into a ferret."
"Then I'll hex you with pimples." Harry chuckled but still refused to let go, and Draco gave up his attempts to pull them apart.
When they got down to the small, babbling brook, Harry pulled out his wand and summoned some raw mutton. He handed the bloody meat to the repulsed Slytherin and carefully made his way to a herd of Thestrals. A small foal made its way to Harry, he extended a bit of the sheep and it picked at it with its beak. Behind him, Harry heard Malfoy gasp and smiled softly. When Harry failed to offer the baby any more meat, it walked up to Malfoy and nudged his hips with its head. Draco looked up at Harry with slight panic, and Harry almost burst out laughing. He couldn't blame Malfoy entirely for not trusting wild creatures after what happened with Buckbeak, but then again it was Draco's fault for not listening. Harry moved behind Draco and took the meat away from him. He then took off a small piece and handed it back to the startled blonde.
"Just hold your hand out like this, and don't flinch."
"But what if it bites me?"
"It won't." Malfoy studied Harry's face for a bit before turning back to the black creature. He slowly extended his arm, but flinched back when the head moved to grab the meat. Harry chuckled softly and took Draco's hand in his and held it out to the foal. The beak closed carefully around the meat and gobbled it down without hesitation. Draco smiled widely.
"I did it! And it didn't even attack me!" Harry smiled too when he saw the childish like wonder in Malfoy's eyes as he tore another piece of meat off and threw it up in the air, squealing with joy when the horse caught in the air.
"So what did your parents say?" Harry asked looking up at Draco form his lap under a dark green pine tree a few feet away from the grazing herd.
"About what?" Draco asked, stroking his dark hair.
"About you being gay." Harry regretted the question when he felt Draco grow rigid.
"They were not too happy." Draco responded quickly, avoiding Harry's eyes. Harry sat up, curious.
"What did they do?"
"Well, father first slapped me around with his cane for awhile," he lifted his shirt to show the long blue/black bruises crisscrossing along his ivory torso that were just barely beginning to yellow, "and has not spoken to me since. My mother was shocked; she has not said a word or looked at anyone for months."
Harry gritted his teeth when he saw the physical and emotional wounds on his new beloved. Controlling his fast growing disgust, he calmly asked "How did they find out?"
"Well, that slut Pansy and her father came to visit us after they were released from court. She and I were in my room when she tried to snog me. I pushed her away from me, and she tried to pounce. I then screamed at her to let me go and explained that I only like guys. She moved away, disgusted and I have not heard from her since. The next day, the whole community heard about it, and a few weeks latter it became headline news." Draco looked Harry straight in the eye with indifference, making Harry uneasy. Either Draco was trying to play cool, or it did not bother him. He hoped he was just trying to be strong.
"How are things with Slytherin after the incident?"
"Well as you can already tell, there is not a lot left. Most are either dead, in jail, or in hiding. There is not many who have the will power to taunt. They just don't care."
"Interesting…" Harry watched the Thestrals for a little bit longer before gaining the courage to cock his head and softly kiss Draco on the cheek. At first the blond just stared at him and Harry began to wonder if he was moving too fast before the other boy's lips locked with his hungrily. Harry moaned softly at the intensity and Draco nibbled his lower lip gently. Harry's lips almost immediately parted and Harry felt Draco's tongue drift easily in. He is not new to this Harry realized as Draco explored the cave of Harry's mouth with expert ease. Harry lifted his hands and entwined his fingers in the silky platinum hair, pressing his body against Draco's to deepen the kiss. Draco pushed Harry to the ground slowly; his own hands brushed down Harry's body and slipped under his shirt. Harry gasped softly at the sudden cold contact and Draco couldn't help but smile at the sight under him. Harry's original messy hair was even messier with grass sticking here and there from it. His lips were red and swollen, gold skin flushed and emerald eyes filled with lust and hunger.
"What are you staring at?" Harry panted, embarrassment sticking to each word.
"At this beautiful creature before me."
"Corniness does not suit you."
"Harry, stop talking." Draco kissed the Gryffindor before he could retort. Harry glared at him softly before melting right back into their kiss. After several minutes of kissing, the two separated when a large Thestral's head intervened. It looked at the two teens with its milky white eyes, almost as if it were giving them a lecture, or just glaring at them, and walked away, its tail whipping from side to side in a No-No fashion. The two looked at each other before laughing at the absurdity.
"We should start heading back." Harry announced, standing. Draco also stood and entwined their fingers again.
"Yeah."
Hermione and Ron were sitting together on the couch in front of the roaring fireplace in the Gryffindor common room, Ron's arm was around Hermione's shoulders as her bushy head rested upon his now-muscular shoulder, when their best friend came skipping in. Ron watched him, a frown tugging at his lips while Hermione grinned knowingly.
"Mate, are you feeling alright?" Ron called, pulling Harry back from his endless daydreaming.
"Me? Yeah, fantastic actually!" Harry smiled widely and swiftly glided over to his buds.
"Have a good time?" Hermione asked, a soft giggle chasing after the question.
"Brilliant! We went into the forest and saw the Thestrals together."
"Good time? We? What are you two talking about?" Ron asked, perking at the word choices. Harry stared at Hermione with half-wide eyes 'You haven't told him?' his eyes asked, 'No' the soft brown replied with guilt. Harry coughed, worry twisted his bowels, dried his throat, and his mind was drowned in endless questions and scenarios. Will he be okay with me being gay? If I tell him now, will he accept me with open arms or stare at me with uncomfortable disgust? What about Draco? Will he swallow his grudge and support me or will I lose my best mate?
"-arry? Harry!" Ron's concerned and irritated voice saved him from his thoughts.
"I- I- uh-"
"What he means is that, um, well you see there is this- person that has, uh, caught his- how do you say- eye or interest?"
"Harry, why haven't you told me? Who is the lucky girl?" Ron leaned forward, now excited and starved for gossip.
"I-I wasn't sure if you would approve." Harry looked down at the elaborate red and gold carpet, his tear filled hazel eyes following the elegant curved design.
"Approve? What are you going on about?" Ron asked confusion and hurt obvious on his rigid body. Harry was his best friend, his brother from another mother, why wouldn't he approve of Harry's new crush?
"Well, first, it- it's not a- a girl." Harry's body grew even tenser as silence followed the statement. He glanced warily at the red head and regretted it. Ron was staring at him intently, denial written in every dark freckle. "Not a girl?" Ron's voice cracked but remained serious. Harry quickly dropped his gaze and nodded silently, his heart threatening to burst out of his protective ribcage and fly out the window. Harry heard Ron inhale deeply and stand.
"Ron?" Hermione asked, but he ignored her.
"Who?" Harry looked up but did not meet the fiery gaze. "Who?" Ron repeated intensely.
"D-Draco." All Harry heard was Hermione's sharp squeal of surprise before a fast moving force knocked Harry to the carpet, dark crimson bleeding into the bright red. Harry lied there, stunned, when he felt something knock the air out of him. His body instinctively curled around Ron's foot as he removed it for another strike. Hermione wrapped her arms around Ron's waist, her warm tears soaking through his shirt.
"Ron, stop it! He's your friend!" Ron turned on her, and she backed away, the murderous glare in her loves eyes nearly turned her into stone.
"Friend? Friend! What kind of friend goes behind your back? What kind of friend snogs the enemy? And what kind of girlfriend keeps secrets?" The last comment made Hermione freeze. She could not respond, the silence confirming Ron's theory. "That's what I thought." He spat and walked away. Hermione flinched when she heard the door to the boys dorm slam shut. Her feet moved by themselves toward Harry, who was silently sobbing. He felt Hermione's arms around him, but he didn't look up. The pain of his broken jaw and ruptured spleen were just silent throbs compared to the horrible wrenching pain of his heart. He felt it die, bit by bit. He didn't know how long Hermione knelt there by him before she forced him to uncurl from his fetal position and called for Madam Pomfrey to come and fetch him.
Harry stared at the ceiling with indifferent and empty eyes. Madame Pomfrey glanced at the expressionless hazel as her wand slowly glided down his body, fixing the broken jaw, spleen, and rib. The eyes are what frightened her most though. Physical injuries could be healed with time, potions, and magic. But emotions could not. She knew that a deep and bleeding gash was deep in Harry's heart a gash so extreme that even the scar couldn't help much. Just keep him from dying. Once the corrections were made, she forced Ignis Medendi potion down his throat, made him comfortable, and watched him intently from across the room. He did not move for so long that if it were not for the slow steady rise and fall of the ghostly white sheets, she would have thought he was dead. All night Harry remained like that, memories of the good times with Ron flashed through his mind. Their first meeting on the train, their adventure through the Chamber of Secrets, learning about the truth of Sirius Black, their fight about the Tri Wizarding Tournament, the battle at the Ministry of Magic, their pact after Dumbledore's funeral, their journey to find the horcruxes and fight against Voldemort, the feeling of kinship on and off the quiddich field. How can Ron disown all those times? All those memories and sacrifices? Was Harry's love life that disgusting and immoral? He sighed as his mind cringed deeper into the darkness, leaving behind an empty shell of what was once the great Harry Potter.
Draco stayed by Harry's side as soon as Madame Pomfrey summoned him. Thankfully the school was starting Winter break so he could stay by his beloved for as long as he wanted. He stroked Harry's hand softly again and again. Spoke soothing words in his ear and kissed his lips lovingly, all to no avail. Harry remained stone-faced. His eyes empty voids leading to only darkness and despair. He only moved when Madame Pomfrey rolled him over to avoid bed sores. As days came and went, Draco found a deep glowing hatred forming in his heart. What was so special about the Weasel? He was just a poor red head blood traitor, an imbecile that would destroy anything regardless of whoever is involved. Take his dearest Harry as exhibit A. It was not just Ron who got under his skin, but this hollow shell that was lying in front of him. How dare Potter act like this when he's around! Many people would die for this opportunity, for this moment, and all Potter can do is cry inwardly over a stupid wizard! What does Ron matter? Really! He repeated in his mind, I'm here sitting like a lover about to lose his only soul mate, whispering soothing words, holding his hand, and all he can do to repay me is lie there and think about Weasel. He can't even look at me! I'm the one who loves him; I'm the one who will do anything for him! I should be the only one that makes Harry feel like this! Draco didn't know what motivated him to leave Harry's bedside one Thursday afternoon and hunt down that red head rodent. Maybe it was the hurt, maybe it was jealousy, or maybe it was both. Either way, the minute he found Ron waving good-bye to Dean, the furious broken blond marched straight up to him and gave him a left hook that he would forever have nightmares about. Ron was so shocked by the sudden assault that he just stared dumbly at the fuming Slytherin.
"You, you brainless insect!" Draco hissed in his face and kneed him in the gut. He grinned with murderous intent as the red head slumped to the cobblestone floor. He grabbed the boy by the hair and grunted when he felt knuckles meet his side. He stumbled back, his glare reflecting back at him through his rival's eyes.
"You git!" Ron flared back and charged. Draco quickly sidestepped and slammed the side of his palm into the back of Ron's neck. Ron groaned at the pain, but regained his composure. He grabbed the hand before it could retreat and forced Draco into a head lock. Draco calmly squashed Ron's foot with his heel and crippled him wait a thrust of his elbow. Ron released him and stared at him with pure hatred. They stood facing each other; body's arched in defense and pain, panting heavily.
"You ruined him." Draco growled, anger radiating off of him in thick waves of heat.
"Good. The fairy deserves it!"
"How did he deserve it? It was not his choice to be the blood line of Faeries!" Ron was caught off guard for a millisecond; confusion flickered through his eyes before he shifted back to a defensive state.
"What are you going on about, ferret?"
"What do you mean what do I mean? It is not Harry's fault that his mother was a descendent of royal Faeries and that he had to be the unlucky male! It was not his choice that he has to fall in love with a male because that is tradition! It is not his decision to date his childhood enemy or else he will die!" Ron stared at the blond as if he grew horns and a pig's tail.
"Fairy? Are you trying to convince me that the only reason Harry is dating you is because he is a goddamn fairy? Your even more of a crack job then I thought Malfoy!" Draco barred his teeth, the disrespect snapping his last string of patients. A lightning fast move and gesture of his wand sent the red head flying across the room and crashing into armor after armor that lined the walls of the hall.
Harry was still awake when he heard a familiar groan of agony. His mind slammed back into his cavernous skull and his eyes flickered to the door. Floating in the air a few centimeters away from Madam Pomfrey's wand was a withering Ron. Harry stared at them as they drew closer and noticed a third person following from behind, platinum blond head lowered in guilt and anger.
"Draco?" Harry whispered his throat dry from lack of use. The head snapped up and icy hurt filled blue eyes met his curious hazel. Draco stomped toward him and gave him a hard open palm slap across the face. The sound of contact bounced off the walls and seemed to have left the whole castle quiet.
"Now you wake up! After days and days of me sitting next to your bed, day in and day out, stroking your hand and whispering in your ear with no response, and you only decide to wake up to the groaning of that, that, rodent!" Tears filled his eyes and choked his words. Harry stared at him in shock.
"Dray, I-" The glare Harry received the minute he opened his mouth silenced him immediately.
"Don't you Dray me! Do you know how worried Madame Pomfrey was? Hermione? Me? Oh, wait, that is right. You only care about you precious Ron." A tear escaped and slid down the elegant pale face. Draco turned quickly, but Harry saw it.
"Draco, I-"
"Save it." Draco hissed and walked out. Harry looked at Madame Pomfrey. The witch settled Ron in and went up to him.
"What happened?" Harry asked, his voice sounding off in the last remnants of Draco's booming voice.
"Jealousy" was the only response he received.
"Is it true?" Ron's voice pierced the uncomfortable dark silence.
"Is what true?" Harry's annoyed voice nearly mimicked his feelings. Draco was right, Ron is not a true friend if he can't even except him the way he was.
"About you being a Fairy?"
"Yes." Harry heard bed sheets shuffling in Ron's bed and stole a glance at him. Ron was sitting upright and staring at him fully, a small grin on his face.
"Well this changes everything! You're not really gay, it's just a phase." Harry's blood slowly boiled at the statement, what does it matter? Gay is gay.
"What are you talking about, Ron?"
"I'm saying that you're not a cocksucker!" Ron laughed with relief and Harry stayed stone silent.
"And you're not betraying us, that git Malfoy is just taking advantage of that knowledge, but why…?" Ron mumbled to himself. Harry also sat up and glared at his once friend, how could he insult his boyfriend in front of him.
"Ron, I don't think Malfoy is planning any-"
"Sure he his! Harry, Malfoy is a fag, he feels abnormal things and thinks abnormal things, hell he is just plain abnormal! Wait that's it! He wants your ass that badly, probably that he is tricking you into believing that you and he are soul mates. Now things are starting to make sen-"
"Ron! Shut up!" Harry growled, his boiling point being reached. "I'm sorry that I'm gay, but I am. It is not just fairy blood or a phrase, it is just me, and if you, of all people, cannot accept that, then maybe we are not as close as I thought we were. You can break my bones, rupture my spleen, but if you say another word about Draco again, I will tear you from limb to bloody limb and feed you to the Thestrals!" Harry hissed and got out of the bed, wobbling from the lack of using his legs for a week and a half, and marched out.
Harry stormed through the empty halls, steaming as thoughts of hatred flowed through his brain. Can't believe I thought he was my friend! Of all the stupid things he has done and all the stuff I have put up with, this is his all-time-low! Harry was close to the fifth floor when he heard soft music playing from the direction the Golden Trio had met Fluffy in first year. Harry cautiously neared the door and turned the handle, surprised to find it unlocked. He softly pushed it opened and peered inside the empty room. Standing on the trap door that leads to the testing rooms below was a dark figure playing a violin. Harry paused as he recognized the melody, though could not place it. It was almost as if he heard it in a dream, or an early memory. The figure didn't seem to have seen or heard him, so Harry silently crouched by the small gap and closed his eyes, allowing the soothing music carry his thoughts and tensions far away where they could no longer bother him. All too soon, the song ended and the figure moved. Harry gasped when the light hit pale flesh and steel grey eyes, "Draco?" Draco tensed when he heard his name. He looked around and noticed the door was open a crack. He walked swiftly over and pushed it open to reveal a shocked Harry. Oh that is just great, the one person I do not need to see right now. Draco's jaw clenched visibly and the slender body began to trun away before Harry's gentle but firm hand grabbed his arm. "Draco, wait, please."
"I do not want to talk to you right now Harry." The moody blond grumbled glaring at the restricting hand.
"I understand that, but please hear me out-"
"Why should I? And besides, I'm sure you are dying to run back to your little Ron-sey." Malfoy hissed in a mocking tone. The fire blazing in the Ice Prince's eyes froze Harry.
"Fuck Ron."
"What was that?" Draco asked, staring at the brunet.
"You heard me. Ron is a big fat stupid git and why the hell his betrayal surprised me and bothered me so much, I will never know. But I love you and I feel awful, and I'm sorry. I understand if you do not forgive me right now… but please, I love you." Harry's hazel eyes seemed to look into Draco's soul and Draco couldn't resist. The pleading pain in the emerald green was too much. Draco pulled Harry close to him and kissed him with so much passion, he felt Harry's knees buckle. A pale hand on his back was all the kept him from falling and breaking the kiss. Draco pressed him against the wall for better support. "I love you." Harry whispered when they broke the kiss for air. Draco smiled,
"And I-"
"There you are Harry!"