Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun [Maximum], or Vash, Luida, Brad, Jessica, or any of the other characters in the manga / anime series. They all belong to Mr. Yasuhiro Nightow.

My own inventions include: Lumia, Larissa, Shyla Jones, Lisa Reeve, and the other Reeve family members.

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While the Winds Blew

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Lisa continued reading…

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Year 0139, mid-winter

It felt as if I had only just closed my eyes, when I heard Vash's voice from the doorway.

"Luida?" He called softly.

I could barely hear him over the howling of the storm. "Yes?"

"The power's gone out."

I sat up immediately. "The Plants?" I said, "Are they all right?"

"They're fine, just puzzled," he said. "They don't understand why the power requests decreased. I'd guess a connection came loose somewhere, probably caused by the storm."

I sighed in relief. "As long as they're all fine, we can repair the connection after the storm blows over," I said.

"It's winter, and it's getting colder by the hour," he said. "Do you have a non-electric, portable heater?"

"Yes," I said, throwing aside the blankets and groping in the darkness for my robe. "We also have candles and an oil lamp."

"It sounds like you're well prepared," he said. I could hear his smile in the way he pronounced his words. "You should join the girls in your room, and get the heater going. It might be a little cramped, but that will help all of you to keep warm."

"There was an organization back on Old Earth," I said, "whose motto was along the lines of, 'always be prepared.' Some of my ancestors took that very much to heart, and that became their legacy."

"That's a good legacy," he said. "I should check around, and make sure that everyone else has enough blankets, gets their own heaters on, and that sort of thing."

I followed him out of the door. "Wait!" I said. "I'll need your help with the heater. It's too heavy for me to move alone. If we wake the girls, it may be a long time before they go back to sleep."

"Okay, sure," he said.

I was thinking as hard and fast as I could. I did not want him going out there in that storm. Winds like tonight's had been known to blow people into the sand ocean. Falling into that ocean, especially during a storm like this, had always been a death sentence.

I asked for his hand, and he touched my shoulder. I led him to the storage room where the lamp, candles and heater were kept. First, I lit a candle, and then the lamp. I placed the candle into a sconce in the storage room. We quietly moved the lamp into my room, where the girls still slept. I had a decorative candle on a candlestick in the sitting area, and I lit that one also.

Now that we had a dim light to see by, we returned to the storage room and I pointed out the heater. We had to remove a few things that had gotten piled on top of and in front of it, but we got that tended and moved the heater into my bedroom. After wrestling it into the room, we placed it near the foot of the bed and turned it on.

He paused, looking at the sleeping girls, and smiled his sad smile. "The sleep of the innocent," he said softly. "I miss that. I hope that they shall always have it."

I reached toward him, not knowing what to say, but he had already turned away toward the doorway.

When he stepped out of the bedroom, I followed, closing the door behind me. I saw that he still wore the same clothing he'd been wearing when I turned in. I wondered if he'd slept at all. His eyes were still slightly reddened, from when he'd cried a few hours ago.

He put on his winter jacket, and began tying one end of a rope he'd found in the storage room around his waist. He walked to the door, and reached toward its handle. He held the coils of the rope over his left forearm.

"No, Vash," I said, running to him and catching at his arm.

He paused, turning toward me. He stood with his back to the door, waiting to hear what I had to say.

I took hold of the front of his jacket with both hands. "Don't go out there," I pleaded. "We can't risk losing you!"

He laid his natural hand along the left side of my face with surprising gentleness, given the number of calluses on that hand.

I saw his expression change from determination to a gentle thoughtfulness. He seemed more relaxed than he had been as he walked to the door, so I thought that I had persuaded him. My hands began to unclench.

"Thank you," he said, so softly that it was nearly a whisper.

Then he was gone, closing the door behind him to keep the storm out.

"No!" I said, as I realized that he'd gone anyway. I beat my fists against the door as tears streamed down my face. "No…" I sobbed, brokenheartedly, for some time.

When I finally regained my composure, I returned to the storage room. I picked up a candle holder, placed a candle in it, and lit the candle. Then I went to Larissa's room and started carefully removing everything she had stacked on the foot of her bed.

As soon as I had cleaned off Larissa's bed, I pulled off the covers and dragged the mattress to my bedroom. I opened the door and wrestled it through, and then placed it flat on the floor, between the portable heater and the wall.

Then I left my bedroom, quietly closing the door behind me. I moved the candle from Larissa's to Lumia's room, and took her mattress also. I dragged her mattress into my room and placed it on top of Larissa's, thus forming a makeshift bed on the floor.

"When you return," I whispered tearfully, not allowing myself to consider other possibilities, "you'll need a warm place to sleep."

I went back and forth several times. First I got his bag, and then a pillow, and finally, with a few more trips, all the blankets from both girls' beds.

When the makeshift bed was made up to my satisfaction, I went to the storage room and got all the extra blankets for my bed. I spread most of those over the sleeping girls, and then added one or two more blankets to Vash's bed.

When he returned, I would join the girls. First, though, I needed to see him return. I couldn't rest, knowing he was out in that storm alone. I couldn't join him, since he had the only rope, but I could make sure he learned about the bed I'd prepared for him in the only room in the house that still had any heat.

I checked the lamp and heater in my bedroom, and then I left that room and closed the door behind me. I went to the girls' rooms, retrieved my diary, blew out the candle I'd used in there, and returned the candle to its place in storage.

I chose from storage a quilt too small for my bed, and not needed for Vash's since he already had double blankets plus a few extra. I wrapped the quilt around myself over my robe and pajamas. I blew out the candle and left the storage room.

I went into the sitting area and flopped down on the couch that I had originally offered to Vash as a sleeping-place for this night. I looked at the clock and made a mental note of the time. Then I waited impatiently, while updating my diary.

Two hours later, my head was drooping. I'd nearly fallen asleep. That's when he finally returned. I know this because our sitting-area clock is an old wind-up "grandfather" style clock, from back on old Earth. It was not affected by the power outage.

Vash's hair and clothing were caked with sand. He looked paler than usual – even in the dim light of the candle. He stumbled, unsteady on his feet from weariness. It was a struggle for him, just coming in through the doorway.

"Vash!" I said, torn between anger and relief. I did not wish to cry under these circumstances, since that might seem weak to a man who was so incredibly strong. Being practical had served me in the past, so I hoped I could persuade it to serve me again. I bolted the door behind him.

"Quickly," I said briskly, "come in and get cleaned up so that you can rest comfortably." I untied the rope from around his waist, and let it drop to the floor. I took hold of his right arm and began pulling him toward my bedroom.

"I can't sleep with you and the girls," he protested, balking.

"I made up a separate bed for you," I said. "Come, the door to the bathroom was left open so you can clean up where it's warm."

His resistance melted away, and I led him in. I pointed to his bag, and his bed, and then to the restroom's door. All were plainly visible in the dim light from the oil lamp.

He stood still for a moment, as if somewhat dazed. Then he nodded. "Thank you," he said. He moved slowly and carefully to get his bag, and then he took it to the restroom.

I briefly returned to the sitting area, just long enough to blow out the candle there and retrieve my diary. After that, I returned to my bedroom and closed the door. I pulled back the covers on his bed, hoping that would make it look more inviting and comfortable. I sat on the edge of my bed, by the girls. I wrote more, further updating my diary.

I listened to the sounds of water running, and scrubbing, that came from the bathroom. I looked up when he came out. He was wearing his pajamas, and had a damp towel over his head. He must have left his bag in the bathroom, which was fine with me. He looked so very tired that it made my heart ache for him. He stumbled again.

I began to stand, ready to assist him if he needed it. One corner of his mouth quirked upward, but he shook his head. He staggered over to his bed without stumbling again. He pulled the towel off his head and spread it over the pillow. Then he lay down and sighed. A very few heartbeats later, he slipped his legs under the blankets. He pulled the covers up over himself, and finally seemed to relax a little.

Only then did I lay aside my quilt and robe. I finally allowed myself to get into my own bed, with the girls. I snuggled against Lumia, and tried returning to sleep.

The wind howled at a different pitch than the breathing of the five of us in that room. With a bit of effort, I could distinguish one from the other. I lay quietly, listening to the sound of his breathing. He was so exhausted that it wasn't long before his breathing became deep and even, like the girls' and for the same reason… he'd fallen asleep.

I sat up, carefully arranged the blankets so the girls wouldn't feel a draft, put my robe back on, and went over to stand by the makeshift bed where he slept. Even in sleep, his expression was troubled.

I knelt on the floor by his bed, careful to keep my robe clear of the heater.

Without meaning to, I began to gently stroke his hair as I watched him sleep. By some instinct or reflex, he moved his head slightly, as if to accommodate my hand. It reminded me of how a thoroughly tame cat will adjust its ears to encourage more petting. That thought made me smile.

As if summoned by my thoughts, our family cat appeared from wherever she'd been concealing herself. She rubbed against my other arm, demanding attention. So I stroked her soft fur, and enjoyed the gentle rumbling of her purr.

Old instincts, inclinations and impulses tried to resurface. I firmly squelched every one. Having Vash near, and seeing him sleep, seemed to be stirring up feelings long dormant… yet, apparently, never defeated. I cannot and must not ever become "the" woman in this dear, infinitely precious man's life.

Oh, I know that he's a little different from ordinary humans like me. I know he's a Plant with a much longer lifespan, and that his body will heal more quickly than mine. I know that he can communicate either telepathically or empathically (or perhaps both?) with other Plants when he wants to, including those inside of the glasslike bulbs. Most of the other differences went away, back when his blonde hair all turned black. I didn't care about those things, or at least I never cared about them for my own sake.

However, for his sake… It wouldn't be fair to him, if he came to love too deeply a person like myself who had only an ordinary human's lifespan. Every instinct has always told me that Vash is a one-woman man. If he found that one woman, only to lose her because her lifespan was drastically less than his own… no, I must not do that to him. It would be too cruel. Somehow, I must remain strong.

I can only be his friend, no matter how much my heart cries for more. Perhaps, at least tonight, I could soothe him just a little. It might help him to sleep more restfully.

His gentle heart… always filled to overflowing with such deeply altruistic, platonic and compassionate love for everyone… was also wounded, and constantly suffered from incredible pain that would overwhelm a lesser soul. I would not knowingly do anything that might add to his pain.

I wanted to keep him close, and comfort him, and shield him from further hurts. I wanted to help him heal, and also help him to rediscover how to fully enjoy his life during every hour of every day.

Yet I knew that was impossible… for me. Perhaps, some day, for another…

Vash was safe, for the moment. I couldn't protect him, but at least I could look after him, a little bit, while he was here.

His expression slowly relaxed as I stroked his hair. After I saw his face relax completely, I reluctantly disentangled my fingers from his hair, and stood. The cat meowed a mild protest when I moved, and then she hopped onto Vash's bed to curl up by his feet.

I returned to my own bed, and laid aside my robe again as I slipped my legs under the blankets.

All three girls slept peacefully, and I found myself smiling at them. "Take care of him, after I can't," I wished softly.

I finished updating my diary in the dim light from the oil lamp, and then I lay down to sleep.

…

Not even the slightest hint of grey light was yet seen through the window when I was wakened by a slight tug on the blankets. I was accustomed to sleeping alone (except for the cat), so I awoke mildly surprised that I'd not waked numerous times before. I'd half expected to rouse slightly every time that one of the girls moved. I must have been more tired than I'd thought.

I raised myself onto one elbow, noted that the winds were still howling outside, and saw Shyla trying to slip out of bed without disturbing any of us. She was moving carefully, only a little at a time. I gently tugged on Lumia's shoulder, and she rolled back toward me enough to let Shyla out of the bed with less difficulty.

Shyla smiled and nodded her thanks, and finished wriggling out from between Lumia and Larissa. She mouthed the word "bathroom" and then crawled off the bed to move in that direction. I gently encouraged Lumia, who was still deeply asleep, to move toward her sister. If I could get Lumia to move close enough to Larissa, then I could let Shyla back into the bed considerably more easily than she had left it.

I succeeded, somewhat to my surprise, without waking either daughter. I edged away from them, and sat up to look at my other guest.

The troubled expression had returned to Vash's face, though he remained asleep. He was turning his head back and forth, and his breathing was coming in gasps. Waves of guilt assailed me… I should not have asked him to talk about July before attempting to sleep last night. I began to ease my feet out of my bed, careful to avoid disturbing my girls.

Shyla returned from the restroom, and also looked toward Vash. I don't think she noticed me at all. She immediately went and knelt by his bed, and began stroking his hair.

I reached for my robe, got out of bed, and put the robe on. I went to join Shyla.

The makeshift bed upon which Vash slept was situated so that the wall was on his right side, and we were on his left. The cat was curled between Vash's feet and the wall. She had raised her head and flicked her ears backward, less than pleased at his restlessness.

Shyla was weeping. She nearly startled when I knelt beside her, but then her focus immediately returned to Vash. "He's having a troubling dream," she whispered. "It's hurting him."

"Should we wake him?" I asked.

She lifted her seat off her heels, and leaned over him. She put her arms around him, and rested her head on his chest. Tears continued to stream silently down her cheeks.

His reaction was immediate. He sighed in his sleep, and relaxed. He pulled his right arm out from under the blankets, and rested his hand on her head. His breathing became deep and even, again.

The cat also relaxed, and returned to resting her chin on the blankets over his leg. I knew she was purring, even though she did it too softly to hear, because I could see her fur vibrating. A cat's purr can soothe most of us ordinary humans; I hoped it would do the same for Vash.

I stroked his hair, as I had during the night, briefly allowing myself to enjoy watching him sleep. The early winter morning was cool, though, even with the heater going. Because of this, it wasn't long before I wanted the warmth of my bed again.

I saw that Shyla's shoulders were becoming hunched, as if against the cold. Her position had caused a gap between the too-short pajama top and the waistband of the bottoms. Small wonder the poor girl felt cold!

"He seems to be resting better now," I whispered. "Let's get back into bed and rest while we can. We'll have plenty of hard work to do, after the winds let up."

"I would," she whispered, "but…" her eyes turned in a way that I somehow understood meant that she didn't want to wake him by making his hand fall off her head.

I reached to his hand, and gently lifted it off her head. She somewhat reluctantly straightened, and I lifted his blankets enough to place his hand onto his chest in roughly the same position it had been when resting on Shyla's head. I spread the blankets over him again, smoothing them around his body to help him stay warm.

"I encouraged Lumia to move, so you can get in from the side," I whispered to Shyla.

"Thank you," she whispered back.

Shyla got in, and snuggled against Lumia's back. I removed my robe, and got in, and snuggled against Shyla's back.

I lay there feeling odd.

On one hand, I was glad that someone had the power to comfort Vash when he needed it. That new evidence of the growing bond between him and Shyla was, in some ways, comforting to me. I knew very well that Shyla loved him as dearly as I did.

On the other hand, it hurt that I wasn't the one who could so thoroughly comfort him. I thought I'd overcome my selfish wish to have Vash for myself. Unfortunately, it seemed I was mistaken in that belief. I still longed for him, more than I'd realized until I saw him and was near him again.

I must conquer this selfishness within me. If Shyla becomes the one who will be there for Vash, then I must be happy for both of them from the bottom of my heart. I must work on my attitude, so that it will be what it ought to be when the time comes.

I thought and prayed about these things until I fell asleep again.

…

When next I woke, there was still no light showing from outside. I could still hear the winds howling, but they sounded a little less violent.

I moved slowly, raising my head to check on the girls and Vash. He lay on his side, facing away from me. His breathing, and the way his shoulder moved as he breathed, suggested a relaxed, peaceful sleep. The same was true of Lumia and Larissa. Shyla, however, seemed tense. I gently touched her shoulder.

She turned her face toward me. There were shiny streaks, as if she'd been crying.

"Are you okay, dear?" I whispered.

She slowly and carefully turned toward me, trying to avoid disturbing Lumia. When she succeeded, she put her arms around me and held on as if for dear life. "I had that dream again," she whispered softly. "My destiny. I'm not ready, not yet…"

"I'm so sorry, dear," I whispered, putting my arms around her and gently stroking her hair. I loved this girl almost as much as I loved my own daughters. It made my heart ache to see her hurting like this. "I still hope and pray it's only symbolic," I added softly, "and that you'll learn how to save him, and still survive to enjoy his extended life too."

She nodded, and clung to me for some time.

We must have both fallen asleep, because I awoke later with my arms still around her as she slept. Lumia and Larissa continued to sleep, apparently undisturbed.

Vash, however, was peering at us over the foot of the bed. When he saw me looking at him, he briefly offered me one of his sad, gentle smiles. Then he stood and came to the side of the bed. He bent over, until his mouth was near to my ear, and whispered softly.

"Is she okay?" he asked.

"Bad dream," I whispered as softly as I could.

His gentle expression grew sadder, and he reached past me, with his right hand, to stroke her hair. His fingers encountered my hand, since I had fallen asleep doing exactly what he was doing. That caused his smile to return.

"She's such a sweet child," he said, still whispering softly. Then he glanced toward our daughters, and sighed. "They all are. I just know this one better than the others."

"My two are more mischievous," I said, still in a soft whisper. "I doubt Shyla ever led a man to a half-naked woman's bedroom."

That brought on a smile that briefly reached his eyes, along with a soft chuckle. "No," he whispered back, "I don't believe Shyla ever did that."

He looked at her fondly for a moment, and then his gaze shifted back to my face. "It sounds like the winds have decreased enough for traveling without a rope," he whispered. "I should change, and go see if I can find and re-connect whatever came apart that has left so many houses without power."

"Please wait a little longer," I whispered. "Let it grow calmer out. You warned everyone last night, so people should all be settled in as snugly as possible. A delay now will do no harm. Besides, the girls will be worried if they wake and you're not here."

He raised an eyebrow. "Only the girls?" He teased, still whispering. Were his eyes twinkling, or was it only a trick of the dim light that made it appear as if they were?

"We will all worry," I whispered. I felt some heat in my face as I admitted that. Still, it was truth. Any embarrassment was worthwhile, if it kept him out of that dangerous wind.

"All right," he whispered. He gently squeezed my shoulder, and then returned to his bed. He lay down, and I thought I heard the cat purring. It wasn't long before his breathing became that deep, even rhythm that meant he was asleep.

I relaxed, relieved that he was safe. Everyone else's gentle breathing lulled me, and I soon dozed off again.

…

The next waking must have been close to our usual hour for rising. Everyone was stirring mildly, yawning, and generally showing signs of either having been awake only a very short time, or else still being in the process of transitioning from sleep to wakefulness.

A very faint grey light managed to leak past the storm shutters and under the drapes, further confirming my idea that it was probably around the usual time for waking.

"Who wants first use of the bathroom?" I asked.

"I will," Vash said. "Then I can get my bag out of everyone else's way."

We all took turns in the bathroom, and everyone put on warm clothes.

Shyla knew a way to cook breakfast by using a metal pan on top of the heater, so we ate both well and gratefully. We had to use some care, to keep the cat from helping herself to our breakfast, but otherwise the meal went cheerfully.

"It's just like camping," Shyla said, when we thanked her again for making breakfast and complimented her on her ingenuity in using the heater. "I cooked like this for two years, while we journeyed through the desert."

I glanced toward Vash, who was grinning even though his mouth was full. When Lumia and Larissa asked, he nodded verification of Shyla's claim.

"If this means you two want Shyla to continue giving cooking lessons about camp recipes after she finishes teaching you other things," I said, "I have no objection. I enjoy her company, too."

Shyla blushed as both of my daughters indicated interest in learning camp-style cooking, in addition to the other cooking lessons she was already giving them.

I grinned at Vash, who was discouraging the cat from helping herself to the food on his plate by putting tidbits onto the floor.

After breakfast, Vash helped our village's maintenance crew to find and fix all of the disconnections. Full power was restored to everyone. He also helped to repair other damages caused by the storm.

I think everyone was grateful that the gentle "Humanoid Typhoon" had come to us along with the violent storm with the same name. His presence had been a boon, both from giving warnings when the power went down and from assisting with repairs afterward.