(prussia)
Alfred was back not long after, and - hoo, boy! - from the sounds of it, Kirkland was some pissed, alright! Last time Kirkland was that mad, it was Unsinkable's doing. He was impressed. And maybe a little jealous.
"What kinda magic did you do to him?" he asked, his eyes and smile wide, through the bars that separated their cells.
Alfred rubbed his wrist petulantly. "Jerk hurt my damn wrist. Oh, I dunno," he shrugged, "one minute we were talking perfectly fine and the next he got all up in my face about things."
"He didn't - he didn't, like, do anything, did he?" He didn't think Kirkland had had time for any funny business, it was a short meeting... and Kirkland had never, ever seemed like the type, not in the five years he'd known the man, but maybe he didn't know the Captain after all. Alfred was gorgeous alright, maybe the Captain just couldn't resist.
"Do something? Like what?" And the tone, oh man, that guileless tone. It'd been awhile since he heard something that innocent! That was priceless. And yet also really terrifying.
He breathed a sigh of relief; no, if Alfred was still that naive there was no way Kirkland touched him. That made him feel better about things. Of the pirates out there, Kirkland was one of the more moral. Which wasn't saying much. But it was nice to know his own judgment of character hadn't become so impaired. It was only a short stop after that to fuckin' Stockholm City and actually sympathising with people like Romae or some shit.
"Never mind, forget I said anything," he said. "So tell me what happened."
"Well," Alfred replied, "he sat me down at a table, told me I got taken by mistake, and then told me he wasn't gonna let me go home, that they were gonna sell me anyway. Apparently I'm really valuable or something."
"Look. You got Kirkland almost as angry as I get him on a regular basis. Pretty good work, approaching the awesome me like that, but so far I ain't heard anything that'd get him so riled. So what else didja do?"
Alfred looked a little ashamed. "I asked him if maybe we could make our own deal. He wouldn't sell me to the traders and instead ... he could just, y'know, keep me and I'd like cook and clean and stuff."
Cook. And clean. And stuff. "Uh. Do you know what you were taken for? I mean I know I was vague but seriously, do you?"
"Yes, I fuckin' know, alright? I fucking know what bondservants are for. Mayor of Lawton's got one. Man, you and Kirkland, acting like I'm a complete idiot here."
"Well you kinda are! Scheisse, you have no idea - you don't even know what kind of a man Kirkland is!" Kirkland mentioned something about a meeting with Avo Romae - Unsinkable's faaavourite trader, yippee - so he wasn't outside listening in or anything to Unsinkable destroying his character. But no matter if he was, he wouldn't give a fuck, let Kirkland hear, let him get angry. Unsinkable would be the one who got his goat for real (like it should be!). "And you went and offered him your body for free forever?"
"You've talked to him, you know what he's like, he's a decent kinda guy -"
"No, he ain't," he insisted to Alfred, "he, he really isn't."
"- well he's probably nicer than the others," Alfred mumbled, and he had to hand it to the kid, he was correct on that. Staying with Kirkland might be one of the nicest scenarios. "Okay, so it wasn't exactly a brilliant plan."
"Got that fuckin' right."
"But what else was I supposed to do?"
"Did he accept your offer?" Alfred was starting to sound pretty convinced about Kirkland. "Shit, kid. Did he accept?"
"'Course not," Alfred said. "He can't stop thinking about how much money I'm gonna make him. Which ... that, that means I go to the traders, doesn't it?" And Alfred began to blink furiously and tremble.
Well... In theory, yes. That was exactly what it meant. But if anyone could figure out how to get this stupid kid back home - and he should be nicer to him, it wasn't Alfred's fault he was here - it would be himself. Not for nothing did they call him Unsinkable - and he thought it was a damn cute name too! Much better than cumbucket or painslut - he set the standard on not being fit to sell. Not darling Avo Romae, not Antonio of Marigon, not even the renowned Francis of Bast. Or Hallar. Wherever the fuck the sleazeball lived now anyway. If the top three couldn't do it, then the awesome him could not be fuckin' tamed.
That didn't mean they didn't all try their hardest.
Anyway. If he could manage to avoid getting his ass sold for five long years and keep his sanity (he was pretty sure it was still mostly there) then he could figure out how to get this kid home. The least he could do was try.
"Listen, kid," he said, through the bars. "Lemme think of something, okay? You're really lucky I'm here. Somehow, Kirkland's got sick of staring at my face all the time - poor Captain don't know beauty when he sees it! But he's talking to me when he gets back from Romae's. Maybe I can swing something, okay? Something to get you back home."
Maybe he could, like, offer himself to someone finally and then figure out some way to tear off. Kirkland would get cash for him - a decent bit, he could play nice and docile bondsperson for an afternoon while buyers inspected his ass. And he'd never see Avo Romae again. Yeah, he'd get himself raped once or twice before he managed to clear away from whatever dummkopf bought him. But what made that any different from the past five years?
Alfred sniffled. "You'd - you'd do that for me?"
"I can't promise anything," he said, and that was true enough, "besides that I'll try."
Alfred nodded. "Th-that's enough. Enough for me. Even if you just try that'll be - well you know Kirkland better than I do. Gosh, I - thank you. Thank you so much."
"Don't mention it," he said. How in the world he'd manage to sway Kirkland out of The Money and remind the man about the morals that were buried deep, deep within him, he had no clue. "Say, you suppose those keys of yours unlock my ankle chain here?"
The more they talked, the more he became convinced it was the only thing he could do. It was true that he didn't stick his neck out for many people. He'd done it once or twice when he was fresh-caught and it had gotten him into some serious trouble. That was largely what had begun him cultivating his 'screw you Jack, I got mine' kind of attitude.
But. It wasn't really right. What he remembered from Schlessen was using broken bottles to fend off the wild dogs and crows who wanted to tear off pieces of Old Fritz' dead body, the day the crazy hobo finally passed away. What this kid remembered from New Joplin wasn't five cars and a mansion, but it was a happy if small home with parents who loved him dearly and were probably worrying themselves sick.
It was pretty clear Unsinkable could handle himself. Alfred, on the other hand, might've shown balls with that stupid dealmaking nonsense, but ultimately had no clue what he was doing.
Something about the kid's vulnerability grabbed him and shook him; made him want to step up to the plate.
.:.
When Arthur Kirkland appeared on the other side of the door several hours later, he and Alfred were still chatting away about everything and nothing. Alfred told him about his favourite movie stars, his favourite comic books, told him tales about the villain being defeated and the hero saving the day and winning the hand of the beautiful lady. You know. Shit you learn when you're five.
Like most of Alfred's naivete, it was endearing while also being completely terrifying. This kid would not last a day. They'd break him so easy they'd enjoy every minute of his downfall and he'd be gone forever in, like, hours.
"Come on, you," Kirkland said, "up you - hold on, I thought you were chained at the ankle."
"Magic!" he proclaimed, wiggling his fingers in Kirkland's face. Kirkland batted them away and grabbed his wrist, dragging him out the door and down the hall to the usual interrogation room.
"None of your nonsense now," Kirkland said as he let him sit down at the old table. Still had tea splotches on it from that time last week that Kirkland thought he'd be nice and bring in some tea. Ever the clown, he'd mimicked Kirkland's every move and acted like the Queen of Banningham, very pinched and prim and formal. It had made Kirkland redden with anger which made him bug the good Captain about it, and it went along those lines until he'd simply poked the bear enough that, somehow, the whole thing had become hilarious. Kirkland's loud, liberated guffaw didn't match the man's usual temperment at all.
He supposed that's what Kirkland meant by his nonsense. Fair enough, he had a legitimate topic of his own to discuss.
"Before you say anything," he said, because Kirkland already had his mouth open, "I have a totally awesome deal for you that you really definitely wanna hear."
"I thought I said none of your nonsense."
"It's not nonsense, I swear! Totally serious."
And then Kirkland gave one of those heavy sighs, and looked upwards as though there were some god constantly testing him and his patience and he was asking it why, why must you put me through these things. Naturally, he grinned back with the brighest, toothiest grin he could muster, because that sigh usually meant Kirkland was caving. It was getting easier and easier to make that man cave.
"I have a curious feeling like I'm going to regret this but you know what, sure. You go for it, because this will no doubt provide me my quota of one laugh a day which so far I very sorely need."
"Okay, so -" he began, already gesturing wildly with his hands - "here's the idea. You don't wanna sell the kid. I don't want you to sell the kid. The kid definitely does not want you to sell the kid. But you want money, and I get that. I totally get that. You also probably want to get me off your chest 'cause I've noticed something around here - I noticed I go from trader to trader to trader through you. It's basically the strangest cruise of the solar system ever. And you've been offering it to me for no charge besides the company of the awesome me! Which I gotta say, I appreciate. But that ain't businesslike.
"So why not kill two birds with one stone? You get rid of your problem - namely, yours truly - and finally drown the awesome myth that is Unsinkable. Sell me again to Avo Romae, he's real big on the taming of the shrew deal, we'll get you a nice price for it, I'll be good and kind and well-behaved and fuckin' everything, he'll sell me off to someone, no prob.
"But first, we gotta go back to the Nova sector and drop Alfred off at home 'cause fish is so far out of water it's stupid."
Kirkland's face was pale. And shocked, and more than a little horrified. He panicked a litle - shit, he's not buying it - "Listen Captain. I know you can get more money for Alfred, way more - you dress us both up nicelike and they'll pick baby blues and blond hair over, over someone like me anyday. But you - you just can't. You made a mistake in the raid and you picked up someone you weren't supposed to.
"Now I know you. 'S been five years now, I know you. I know your patterns and I'm a victim of your patterns, you remember Schlessen like I do. Well you don't ever pick up people in nice areas. You know the type, three-floor apartment buildings, well-lit streets, parks where people walk their dogs, reliable streetcars? This is where that kid comes from. You know what kinda up-in-arms is gonna come after you for taking one of those? Council doesn't mind you taking pieces of shit like me, street vermin low-lives with no prospects - oh hell, I don't know, maybe they pay you for cleaning up the streets. Turn 'em into courtesans for the high-class, it's a win-win god-damn modest fucking proposal.
"So you may have the money on the pros to this but the cons include the endless shit you're gonna get from the New Joplin bee-spah and another few more trips at least of dealing with me. And you just know I'm gonna make your life hell. Not that you'll need it with the guilty fucking conscience that I know you've got somewhere buried deep inside that wallet of yours."
Kirkland sighed again, much less heavily, and more sadly. "Wow," he said, "you've gone and proved me completely wrong, again. This may actually be the saddest part of today."
"Yeah? So do the right thing, Captain. Send Alfred home."
"Of all the complete bollocks you retched up, that wasn't the worst of it," Kirkland replied with a strange, warning tone in his voice, the one he used when he wanted you to tread lightly. "For you to even suggest my selling you to Romae ..." the Captain faltered and fell silent.
He let Kirkland think about it in peace instead of clown around like usual. Finally Kirkland began.
"I've just been at Romae's, as you well know. Does the name of Frederick Plinton of Tenickson mean anything to you?" He shook his head; he'd never before heard the name. "Frederick Plinton is a man who owns quite the large estate on the Luna Halleri Secondary Colony. Suppose we ought to call him Frederick of Luna Halleri but you don't usually do that for moons. And he's only after setting up. Anyway I'm getting sidetracked...
"In his daily life he's the Deputy Manager of Security Affairs for Agriculture and Resources on Luna Halleri. His interests include playing the violin, collecting coins and buying bondspeople. He has bought three so far and continues to buy more."
Three. Wow, rich guy. "So ... what, this is the guy you're gonna sell Alfred to?"
"Absolutely not," Kirkland said, aghast. "No. Unthinkable. In fact the story went rather that - well, Romae wanted to try selling you to him. The - look. The reason this man continues to buy more is because his interests may be completely banal but his pleasures are rather perverse. He's what we might call the limits of deviance. He, ah. He's into snuff."
He didn't get it. "The hell is that, some kinda drug?"
Kirkland shook his head. "Snuff is getting off on the act of murder. Killing someone. This is why he continues to buy more bondspeople. He hunts them, and kills them."
It very slowly dawned on him, and as it did his brain fogged with a vague sense of what? "You -" his voice was now so, so quiet - "you want to kill me?" He couldn't, he couldn't.
"Apparently Romae will pay up to ten million for me to hand you over - I'm sure Plinton will pay him even more but that's the way business works for you. And if you run the numbers, ten mil is more money than I'll get for selling him - Alfred, was his name?"
Oh my god. He could.
"You, oh, you can't," he whispered, because somehow he was incapable of saying anything aloud, "oh god, Ki- Captain, Arthur, please. Please, you can't."
Kirkland was merely quiet. "It's a lot of money. And as you yourself say. It's within my interests as well to get rid of you. Isn't it?"
"I didn't mean that. Oh, Arthur. Please, please don't - don't do it, I'll do anything -"
And Kirkland's eyebrow quirked up just so. "Anything?" he asked.
Anything ... could mean anything. Tread these waters lightly indeed, Unsinkable. But on the other hand there was someone out there who wanted to kill him! His heart pounding, he said, "Yes. I'll do anything you want if you just don't sell me to that one."
"Here's the deal I want to make with you," Kirkland said, leaning in, and without thinking, he leaned in as well, until they were very close, inches apart, and he could see very clearly the bright green irises of Kirkland's eyes. He let them bore holes into his own. Frankly, it helped him steady himself, get his breath back from that minor heart attack he might've had. "I'm not the one that took the kid. Alfred. I didn't take him. I didn't order it, we weren't even supposed to be there. It's exactly as you say; we don't hit those areas of town and we were expected in downtown Grand Cove instead of the suburbs. The one that took him was Desmond, and Desmond paid very dearly for that mistake already. So now I'm down a crewmate.
"Avo Romae tells me he has already told Frederick of Tenickson that there's a potential candidate, which means Frederick is pushing hard for it, which means Avo Romae isn't likely to leave me alone. That doesn't bode well for you as a slave.
"So I propose we upgrade you from slave... to boatswain. Because nobody except me touches a member of my crew." And leaning in so close like that, he didn't miss the crazy smile that slowly graced Kirkland's face, the one that said this plan is magnificent on so many levels. "What do you say?"
His mouth ran away from him, like always. "You... you mean it?" He didn't want to give Kirkland the chance to reconsider an offer like that! Being a pirate meant a sort of steady income, though not always a legal one, and actual rights as a freeman. No more brig, no more trading, no more being beaten, no more rape -
No more rape. Goddamn.
"Of course I mean it," Kirkland said softly. "You've been here so long. You're practically an institution yourself. And ... and I couldn't do it. Not even for ten million. Not to you."
Those words, those words - they raised goosebumps on his arms with the way Kirkland said them, and before he knew it he'd grabbed the man's cheeks in both his hands in bright, euphoric glee and planted one on him, directly on his lips, in between his murmurs of, "Thank you, thank you thank you, oh god, thank you."
"There's, there's just one thing," Kirkland spluttered, when he'd released him, and hah, what an awesome shade of eggplant the Captain - his Captain! - was turning. "Well, two."
"What's that?"
"First, never do that again," and though he kind of resembled a strange piratey lobster right now, Kirkland looked more amused than anything else.
"Done," he replied enthusiastically, too relieved to showboat by saying something about how he'd now have to content himself with a kiss that bad.
"And second. I don't fully trust you yet. Before I can, you've got to prove your loyalty to me, and you did tell me you'd do anything. So I'll have to hold you to that."
"Anything," he said, nodding almost spastically. Anything was better than certain death. Hell, Kirkland could take him right here and now if he wanted to. (Which he mostly thought because he knew Kirkland would never, ever do that.)
"Here's my plan about how to solve a problem like Alfred." In his shock from dealing with the prospect of being murdered to becoming a freeman, he'd completely forgotten about the boy. It was lucky his Captain hadn't. "Avo Romae is just as interested in Alfred as he is in you for different reasons. For Alfred's case it's because Romae heard about the loss of Desmond the bosun and worked it out that the boy I must've killed him over must be incredibly beautiful. Which, I'll admit, he is.
"Now Romae thinks he can get a good amount of money for him, more than he usually gets for an untrained bondsman, which is why he's willing to buy him off me for more than I would usually ask. I think I've managed to convince him, however, that if he auctions the boy at the Decennial coming up, he'll get double, maybe triple. Perhaps upwards of ten million. Or at least he'll get a lot more."
"He probably will," he agreed. "Then, you're gonna sell him anyway?" After all that?
"Sell him ... and then buy him back," Kirkland said. "I know someone who can make the three million I'll make off Alfred's sale to Romae turn into thirty, which ought to be more than enough to buy him at Auction and pay for the fuel back to New Joplin. We'll have to keep Alfred notified of this so that he behaves properly. I'll sell him to Avo Romae tomorrow. But here's where you come in. In about a week they'll have the numbers ready for the auction - everything's all organised in advance. I need you to go into Avo Romae's place on Hallar - we're on our way there as we speak - and find out what number Alfred'll be in the auction."
"I can do that. No problem."
"The catch is, if you're seen, well. Avo Romae knows who you are, what you look like. Everybody does, with looks like yours. If you're seen, he won't bother using me as a go-between. He'll simply kidnap you to satisfy his client, which makes him even more money as he doesn't have to waste any, buying you off of me."
"But I'm your bosun now, you said nobody could touch me but you!"
Kirkland coughed. "But you don't get your papers until after we figure out what number Alfred will be in the auction, so that we can rig it, and buy him back. You savvy? This is how I'm going to find you're loyal to me. Do this for me, and I'll give you your freedom. Have we got a deal?" he asked, holding his hand out.
And really, how could he refuse? A chance to help Alfred, and a new life.
.:.
Thank you for reading! I'll be back with more later this week :)