10. Ache
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She could see Aang in her sometimes, on the good days. She could see through her tough outer shell into her pure heart, only wanting to have fun. She had no worries as she gave a new childhood to the countless people that lived and died before her, within her. She could see it through her own selfish tears, the soul who didn't want to hurt anyone. She would watch her waterbend, saw how her daggers of ice suddenly turned to healing water. She observed the calm Aang always carried around.
She could hear the wisdom of many lifetimes in her sometimes, on the days that she is yelling at the world. She can hear her screaming for a point of view only she will ever understand, the sentries ignoring her pleas to be heard out, to be understood. She can feel the reincarnations approving, pressing, gently tugging her ideas along until she and all the rest have exhausted all possibilities for a won argument, and are forced to admit defeat.
She could smell the familiar scent on the wind sometimes, she could still experience the aroma of musk and fresh grass Aang always carried around. She would catch a whiff every once and a while, when the teenager was sweeping, when she was waterbending, or even when she was out in the barren South Pole, riding Naga out in the wilderness. She would catch a whiff every once and a while, whenever the young Avatar was in her element. She would inhale the scent, HIS scent, and smile, her heart remembering days long passed, memories from too long ago, and time spent with the one she loved.
She would see her, sometimes, and know, deep in her heart, that he would never disappear from the face of the earth completely, always in the form of a new body, ready to be supplied with his wisdom and power. She could feel his presence so strongly, sometimes, that she wanted to reach out and hug the young girl, to comfort her own selfish emotions the teenager would never fully understand.
She wanted him back, and whenever she saw her, the living reminder it simply wasn't meant to be, something stirred, deep inside of her.
She wanted to stay strong, for her, so that she wouldn't have to go through the same experiences that she had, so that maybe, just maybe, her soul would be spared by from the scarring beast that terrorizes mankind. She wanted to stay calm, at least for a little while, for her sake. She needed to give the girl some hope, a piece of proof that the world was saved once, and if it comes to it, it can be saved again.
It was on these days that she realized, as if she never knew, that the spirits could not return Aang to her. She realized that she would never see Aang in this world again. She missed him so much, too much for her own good.
She missed the airbending Avatar so much it ached.
-x-
She could see it sometimes, the pain in her eyes, on the bad days. She would stare deep into her waterbending master's bright blue orbs and try to understand the sadness that showed. She could see through her tough exterior, into her pure heart that only wanted to be a young girl again, to relive all the memories, happy and sad, and everything in between.
She could smell her tears on the wind, sometimes, on the days she didn't come to watch her earthbending training with Haru. She would catch an iota of the aroma every so often, making her slow her harsh movements and become spontaneously gentle with her 'chucking rocks.' She could tell something was bothering her, that she should know why her master felt like this. But she didn't. There was something holding the mighty Avatar back.
She would hear her sobs, sometimes, and know that there was something she would never understand between her past life and her waterbending master. She would hear a soft cry float to her ears and sadly calm her waterbending, dissolving the sharp ice spears into globes of shining water, twirling and spinning with the motions of her hands.
She knew that there really was nothing she could ever do to help, to ease the pain, to comprehend the turmoil that the aged woman was experiencing, but there was something deep inside of her, something that wanted to help, to soothe the pain.
She knew it was her own fault, really. She knew that her master was in this much pain because Aang was gone. She knew, deep in her heart, that Katara would always feel a hatred for her, somewhere deep inside.
She was so sorry that it ached.