I made a choice after that Tuesday, I was not getting a ride to school anymore.
Instead of going to school with Joe, I opted to take the bus. It had gotten so thick with tension at the house that I tried different ways of keeping away from Vanessa and Summer. It started after Brandon finally and politely asked me to the Winter Dance when Brandon started showing up at the bus drop off area at school first thing in the morning and then he would take me to class. All with being nice to me.
The moment I stepped off the bus on Friday I was greeted by the quarterback of the Union High football team. He smiled at me and I smiled back.
"How was this morning?" He asked.
"It was good." I responded.
Aside from an impromptu pillow fight with Joe, it was good. I got out to the bus stop on time and got to school on time as well. So it wasn't so bad.
In the four days that I have been at Union, I refused to tell anyone about my home life. I wasn't sure if Joe had said anything to anyone about me living with his family but I knew that I hadn't spoken about it with anyone. The best that some figured out was that Joe's parents were friends with my social worker Ms. Trent. That's how I knew the Anoa'i family.
"How is that story of yours going?" Brandon asked as he opened the door to the school open for me.
I shrugged in response. "I can't seem to get the right words to flow write. I start something and then I change the idea."
"I heard that it's for the Miami Sun newspaper." He said.
"Yeah, you know I lived in Miami before coming here." I responded. "That's where I was published last."
"Did you live in some of the nicer neighborhoods. I live in a gated community." He boasted.
"No, I've never really had a nice life. I mean some families tried to do good but with money being tight it was hard but some times I would sacrifice for the younger kids."
"Sacrifice, that means you went without gifts and stuff right?"
"Yeah, I did. About a few years ago, I was in this lovely home but there were several foster kids and the woman just couldn't get gifts for all of us. I mean sure we all wanted big name gifts but to me, those kids were like my brothers and sisters. So I went without, that way the others could get something from Santa."
"Santa, wow. What was the best gift you've ever gotten for Christmas?"
"That would have to be writing stuff. I got notebooks one year. I got a journal from someone, like the Salvation Army or some sort of Holiday aid thing."
"I got a car, you know. Best thing I could think of. Oh, yeah, definitely better than anything anyone else could get."
"This isn't a competition, Brandon." I said, stopping in front of Mr. Scott's room. "You asked me what I got and I answered truthfully. It's how you say these things that makes people look at you like a jerk."
"I'm not a jerk."
"That's up for debate. You make people think you're a stuck up snob because you have this football thing, that you're richer than the rest of us. Do you have to remind everyone?"
"Why is this such a big issue with you?"
"It's such a big issue because it makes me feel bad for being a pennyless foster kid. I least I'm happy with what I have. I feel blessed to have the people I am with and I would never give up what I have right now."
I really didn't like how Brandon thought about himself. He's better than everyone else because of what he has and what everyone else doesn't. I had hoped that he would at least change his view by being around me but apparently that wasn't enough.
"You like to make people feel bad about themselves. I mean, you said I looked like a lesbian the first time you saw me. Hello, I'm still dressed the same as day one."
Just then I hear a voice. "Hey, Annie, how's it?" Joe asked walking up with Kevin, Mike and Sam, again. "Is there an issue going on?"
Joe's first period class was a few doors down from my first period. It wasn't unusual to see him around this door first thing in the morning.
"It's okay. Brandon and I were talking about Mr. Scott's lesson for today. We have to memorize a section of a sonnet for class and recite it for everyone." I answer, glancing at the other football player next to me. "Oh, just so you know. I'm taking the bus home afterward school. I'm going cloths shopping later today."
"Oh, okay. I'll let Mr. Olsen know. I'll see you at lunch." Then he looked at Brandon. "See ya, man."
"You know it." He responded.
I looked at Brandon when Joe was a fair distance away. "What did I tell you about being a jerk?"
"What? I wasn't. I, hey, where are you going?"
I stopped as I opened the door to the room. "I'm going into the class room. Unlike some people, I actually want to learn something."
He followed me into the room. There were other kids, who looked up when seeing Brandon following me into the room.
"What is your issue?" Brandon stopped at my desk.
Mr. Scott looked up from his desk when Brandon spoke. I put my backpack down on the floor and stared up at him with confidence. This probably was not one of the looks girls would give him.
"My issue is that you don't give a flying flip for anyone else. It's all about you and you alone. Even when I told you that I have nothing, you seem to always mention how much more you have than me. It's not about money, it's about so much more than that."
"What, what is it then?"
"Empathy for others would be a start. Understanding how they feel. You would never understand what it is to be in my shoes because you always have something handed to you. You've never worked hard for anything. I mean, I go out before practice and help Mr. Olsen set up for your training practices, and I will help pack things up, all on my own without being asked. I think about other people, half of the time before myself. I gave up one Christmas for my foster siblings and you go off and tell me that you got a car, just as happy as can be. I don't know who is worse, Scrouge, The Grinch or you."
I ended my tirade when I sat down in the desk. I think I got Brandon mad because he stomped off towards his fourth row desk just as the bell rang.
"Is something wrong?" Sandy asked as we were getting ready for PE. "You look like you have your mad face on."
I looked at her as I was putting my freshly laundered gym uniform on. "I just had a fight with Brandon about his behavior."
"But you're not even dating him, are you?"
"I would like to think I'm his girlfriend but it seems like he's a little kid who just doesn't understand or give a flying flip about anyone else but himself. Luckily Mrs. Olsen gave us an end chapter test to make me sort of forget about it."
"I always thought he was cute."
"It's not about looks, you know." I responded. "If things were different I would actually have loved to be with Joe." That part I whispered as I glanced back at Jess and her close circle of friends. "But I think he's already asked Jess out."
"So are you still going to the dance?"
"I don't know. If Brandon doesn't change I maybe just call it off and give Vanessa her wish."
"What wish is that?"
"Let her have Brandon. I mean, those two seem to be the best choice for each other." I said as I slipped on my shirt. "And I would have to go out to find a dress, which I don't want to do."
"You don't want to get a dress?"
"I've been going with this look for several years, it's a habit I haven't tried to break. But later today I am going to be going cloths shopping so I might find some cloths that I actually like."
She smiled. "Hey, you're a bit of a famous person here. I mean, you have been published, you are friends with the football players and you have helped around school. You're a good person, regardless of the fact that you are a foster kid."
"No matter what good I have done, why does it still feel like nothing is good enough?"
"Good enough? What's not good enough?"
"Me, I'm not good enough." I slammed the locker closed. "I'm never good enough for anyone."
"You do so much…"
"But is it enough? Is it enough for someone like Brandon to appreciate? I mean, Vanessa already makes me feel like I am not wanted."
"But you are. You are worth it all, you are appreciated."
"Then why was I abandoned?" I turned to look at her, tears glistening at the edges of my eyes. "Wasn't I good enough for my parents?"
I finally said it. The emotions I had felt just flooded forward, and I had to sit down.
"Some times it feels like I get a foot into good point, I am kicked out of it. Vanessa makes me feel like I am worthless and imposing."
"But her parents are friends with your social worker."
"That may be so but, well it's complicated with how I am living right now." Feverishly wiping my face when Vanessa entered the locker room. "Anyway, I want to get out of here and get into lineup. I'll see you out there."
The auditorium was colder than usual. Of course the weather outside was muggy so they were cranking on the air conditioning.
"Hey, Annie." Kevin called out as he approached with Sam. "How's it going?"
"Wish it was better but it's not." I said standing where I was supposed to be for Mr. Olsen's class. "Too much emotional baggage."
"Kevin!" Sandy called when she came in. I watched her run up to the taller guy. "I'm going to be looking for a Winter Dance dress this weekend."
"That's cool." Kevin rubbing the back of his neck. "I uh…"
"Come on, Sandy, you shouldn't be talking about girl stuff to guys. It goes in one ear, bypasses the brain and goes out the other ear. That's just how men are made." I turned to look at the three guys. "Sorry, but that's just the biology of a male. Nothing against you three."
"Uh huh, sure." Sam said.
"I think we just got dissed." Mike added.
"Why don't you just kick us in the crotch and get it over with?" Kevin questioned.
"Because, cutting you down to size is a more effective way to prove our point." I quipped and nudged Sandy. "You have to keep reminding him that you need to feel special. But you need to prove that he is special to. So respect the knucklehead."
"Knucklehead? Oh that's good. Noogie time!" Joe caught Kevin into a headlock and promptly ran his knuckles over the crew cut head of his friend.
"Get off me, man." Kevin fought off the six foot three Samoan teenager. "Why don't you go ogle at your girlfriend?"
"You finally asked Jess out?" I asked Joe.
"Yeah. We're going to the dance together. Are you and Brandon still going together?"
"He's acting like an ass right now but I think I made him aware that he's a less than an ideal male."
Just then Mr. Olsen called out to get into place for roll call. So the four of us split up, Sandy going over to Ms. Taylor's side of the auditorium and then me to Mr. Olsen's side.
This day, though, instead of the two classes coming together in a class versus class game, we separated. Mr. Olsen's team went out to the Tennis courts, where we split off into groups of twos against groups of twos. So it was a two on two game of tennis. Wouldn't you believe it, Vanessa and I were on opposite sides of the net. A racket was in my right hand and a ball in my left.
"Come on, lets get this thing done." Vanessa called out to me.
"Don't worry, I want this as much as you." I mumbled squaring my body up into a serving position.
Tossing the ball up, I swung as hard as I could and smacked the ball over the net into Vanessa's side of the court. If she sucked at softball then she excelled in Tennis. Naturally fast on her feet, I'm guessing because of her cheerleader abilities, she easy ran up and smacked the ball back with a thunk. My partner, Jess, ran for it and hit it back over. It got volleyed back over to my side where I promptly missed it. That gave Vanessa the point.
"Nice try, Annie." Jess said, smiling at me. "That was one heck of a hit."
"You think that was impressive," Vanessa said stepping back to the serving corner. "Watch this."
The ball sailed straight at me and I was standing in the wrong place. One moment I was fine and the next I got hit square in the face with a fast moving tennis ball. I stumbled down, well, fell down with a thunk.
"Oh my God, Annie, are you okay?" Jess asked dropping her racket and coming to my side.
I held my eye, writhing in pain while my sneakers scraped the ground in an effort to get up.
"Mr. Olsen, Annie got hit in the face with a tennis ball." Someone called out as I managed to get to my hands and knees.
Vanessa stared at me, if it was in shock or otherwise I wasn't so sure.
"Grange, are you okay?" The teacher asked jogging up to me.
"Yes, sir. I'm not that good with tennis. It was an accident."
"Sure looked like Vanessa was trying to hurt you." Jess said, glaring at the other girl.
"No, she didn't." I tried to get the blame off of her. "It was an accident. I am not very good. May I go to the nurse's office to get some ice, Mr. Olsen."
"Okay. You can go. Jess, can you take her?"
"Sure. Come on, Annie." She placed her hand on my arm and then turned me to go.
Jess and I never really had much of any chance to get to know each other. Jess would hang out with Joe, but I was sort of stand offish when it came to those two together.
"I'll just get a black eye, it should clear up by the time when the Dance happens." I said as we were in the hall that led to the nurse's office.
"She did that on purpose."
"No she didn't. I was trying to keep my eye on the ball. Vanessa may not be the nicest person but this was totally my fault. I was standing in the wrong place at the wrong time."
Vanessa may not have been the nicest person, but I knew when to keep my mouth shut. And besides, I was sure that it was my fault that I got pelted in the face by a tennis ball.
I would really like your honest opinion on this update. Is this a good update or is it a not so good one. I am heading in a direction towards making Annie have uncertain feelings towards Joe but I'm not sure if it's the right direction for this story.