Author's Note

Finally! The long awaited update to Fran and Balthier's adventure! In this chapter, a new problem develops, and its up to everyone (sans Fran) to fix it!

Sorry about the year-long wait, but I have had a VERY busy schedule. And my free time always involves forgetting about fanfiction…

Now, without further ado,

Chapter 10: Ignore Penelo. She's Unimportant.

"This won't do at all…" Ashe paced up down in her sitting room. Balthier and Penelo were comfortably sprawled out on one of her chaise lounges. Vaan was on Fran duty (God rest his soul…).

"What are we to do, Balthier? The coronation is in three days, but Dr. Gurr says that Fran won't have calmed down by then. And she can't be absent…I would hate to lose any limbs or even my life due to her anger. But I can't have her there biting everybody's heads off." Ashe cast a worried look over at Balthier, who was wearing a pensive, dazed look.

Penelo spoke up. "Well I know of a recipe for panacea bott—"

"I've got it! We can sedate her! And tell her that she slept through the coronation, and that we couldn't wake her up!" Balthier seemed very excited about this proposition.

"No, that's the dumbest thing that I've ever heard." Ashe shook her head scornfully. Balthier deflated instantly.

Penelo huffed a bit, then: "We can just use a panacea bottle. I have a reci—"

"I know what we can do!" Ashe was the idealist this time. "We use Esuna on her! That cures everything, right? I mean we got blinded and poisoned and even turned to stone and it healed us. It can cure rabies, right?"

"No no. It's one of the only things that it doesn't cure. Look." Balthier strode to the bookshelf and pulled down a book labeled 'Magickse oof teh Yooneeverse'. He flipped to the 'E' section and found the page on Esuna. At the bottom, it read:

Deesclaihmer

Thees spelle cannoht heel thee folloowing eailmentes: Deth, Zoombee, und Rebbies.

"It's in old Rabanastranese, but I can still clearly see that it won't cure death, zombie, or rabies. What an odd combination."

"Well, all we need to do is use a panac—" Penelo began.

"I'VE GOT IT THIS TIME! We can use a panacea bottle! I have a recipe in one of these books!" Excited, Ashe began searching through the titles for a book that would give instructions for making a panacea bottle. Frustrated, Penelo rose and said, "I'm going to find Vaan." At that, she strode out of the room.

Balthier glanced up as the door slammed. "Was that Penelo? What's eating her?"

Vaan was trembling as he knocked on Fran's door. She beckoned him in, and he entered. Upon his entrance, he approached her nightstand and placed the tray he was carrying upon it.

"Here you go, Fran. Filet mignon, seasoned just as you asked with my pride, hopes, and dreams."

"That was sarcasm, you fool! Don't you know not to season filet mignon! If cooked right, the natural flavor should suffice!"

"I-I didn't actually cook it! What do you expect out of me? I was only doing what you asked?"

"And do you always mindlessly do as I ask? Have you no pride?"

"Not anymore, it's on your steak…"

"Out of my sight, knave! I want nothing more to do with such idiots!" Fran waved her hand imperiously as she foisted the tray onto her lap.

Vaan turned and began to exit the room. He got as far as the door when it flew open and smashed him in the face, incapacitating him. Penelo, feeling resistance on the door, naturally pushed harder, causing Vaan's unconscious body to be heaped behind the door, out of sight behind a velvet curtain.

Fran looked at the bulge in the curtain and shrugged. "Good evening, Penelo. I trust that your day has gone well?"

"Shove it, bunny-chick. I'm tired of everybody being so worried about you and ignoring me. I was a more prominent character than you, so why doesn't anybody pay attention to me!? Even Vaan won't look at me anymore! What has the world come to?" Penelo was shouting by the time she was finished.

Fran stared blankly at Penelo. "What in heaven's name are you talking about? You speak like this is some sort of game…"

Penelo's jaw dropped. "Am I the only one who got the memo!?" She shook her head, disgusted.

Fran removed the tray from her lap and rose from her chair. "I think that maybe you've attended a few too many pre-coronation balls and parties. You should lie down, Penelo. You're obviously crazy."

Penelo glared at Fran. "Me? Crazy? Look at you! You've run around for the past four days attempting to sterilize every male in Rabanastre! And I'm the crazy one, right?"

"Well, duh. What I did was perfectly normal."

Penelo screamed and tackled Fran to the ground. Or tried to. Fran gracefully moved aside, and Penelo soared past, directly out the window. Fran moved to the windowsill and gazed at the disheveled yellow and blue spot about forty feet down. "Serves her right."

The bulge in the curtain began to stir, and Fran replaced herself in her chair, and began to feast on her filet mignon once again. She made no mention of Penelo to Vaan. After a while, he left to join Ashe and Balthier, and she decided it was time for some beauty rest.

When Vaan stepped into Ashe's sitting room, he was greeted by the sight of a bubbling cauldron and two people dressed in black robes, chanting over it. The two figures stopped chanting and directed their attention to Vaan when he entered.

The first figure removed its hood, revealing Ashe's face. "Oh, uh, Vaan. H-hi…"

The second figure removed its hood as well, revealing the face of Balthier. Vaan shot them a puzzled glance, but they disrobed before he could ask why they were dressed in such a manner.

"What are you doing…?"

"We're brewing panacea! To heal Fran! It heals everything, you know!" Ashe seemed pleased with herself.

"Except Death, Zombie, Cancer, and Lazy Eye." Balthier snapped the book he was reading from shut.

"Panacea doesn't require such an elaborate ceremony, does it?" Vaan seemed skeptical.

"Well…no…but…I don't get out much, you see…" Ashe trailed off, looking downward.

"At any rate, its almost done. And you've drawn the short straw, m'boy! You will be the one to administer the treatment to the patient! Just…mix it in her soup or something!" Balthier seemed pleased with himself.

Vaan frowned. "Wait a second. If it was as simple as panacea, don't you think that Dr. Gurr would have prescribed that?"

Ashe's face darkened. "I don't believe that we asked for your opinion. Now, do as you are told by your queen."

"You're not my queen yet!" Vaan complained. However, as he did so, a small bottle was shoved in his hands and he was pushed out the door. As soon as he left, the chanting resumed. He sighed, and started towards Fran's room.