Well, with no further ado, here it is, Chapter 10 of Blood and Honor:End of all Hope
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I was originally headed to Kvatch before I would finally take my rest at the farm, but I was tired from the long journey that I had endured on the way back...and since home was between me and Kvatch due to the direction I was coming from, I decided that I would rather meet father first anyway. He would have been happy to greet me, that and I had one awesome story to tell about catching Master Jauffre s arrow. I knew that father would have had a hard time believing me, but what would have been more important was the lesson that Jauffre was trying to teach me along with it. I knew that father was going to be proud of me, especially for the message that I was going to be conveying to him.
A message from Jauffre that he wanted us to come with him to visit Cloud Ruler Temple this year, to begin the ceremonies of my initiation into the blades.
We were going to move to Bruma immediately afterwards. Before I left father had struck a deal with an odd old man who was looking to buy land. Someone by the name of Slythe SeringiOr at least that s what I remembered his name to be. Father told me that he was from Morrowind and that he was looking to escape the tidal wave of political changes that were causing many problems to the district of Vvardenfell from which he was born in. I didn t really meet him but once, he seemed to have his own sort of beliefs that were a bit more then just out of the norm. He called his religion Shetcombe. I m not so sure what it was all about, but he seemed harmless.
Just as I was in sight of the farm I stopped. A bad feeling suddenly overcame me. I didn t know exactly what it was but it was some sort of aura that I didn t like. The whole world seemed to stand still. The trees that were swaying in the late afternoon-early evening breeze came to a halt as the noise of crickets, and animal footsteps were replaced by silence. I realized that time was almost standing still to me as everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. What ever it was, it was a bad omen. The feeling was so overwhelming that I decided to untie my katana from my back and slid it into my belt on my left side to make it easier to draw. I feared that I was going to need it for whatever was waiting for me.
The oil lamp that father usually had hung out on the doorway was missing, and the door was wide open. Something was definitely wrong, I never knew him to be so careless. Not only that, but he never missed a day where he would hang the lantern just before the sun went down, it was the only strict habit he kept.
Taking a deep breath I began to move forward again, prepared for the worst or so I thought.
As I drew closer I kept my footsteps quiet, with one hand on the sheath of my blade, the other the grip. With each step I swept my eyes over the entire scene, keeping my head still as I made little half steps to avoid stepping too heavily. I made each breath that I took as silent as my body would allow. My ears picked up on every sound that was around me. The sound of the crickets chirping in the evening that I usually blocked out was now louder then ever. All of my senses were heightened at that point, or I at least was a much more aware.
I began to make out some sort of omniscient presence, or at least that was the only way to describe it. Like something was watching me, but I could not see it. A killer intent that was being projected into me was making me feel uneasy, A feeling that I was very familiar with during my years of training. Jauffre used to test me like that years ago. He taught me how to pick up on the Ki of those who intended to do harm. I guessed that this was the first time I was feeling it outside of his training.
It was extremely frightening. The anxiety that I was feeling was great, as I drew closer to home it started to gain in intensity. I could have sworn that death had passed through there. My house didn t feel like a home anymore, the life that our farmhouse usually blossomed with around this time of the year was replaced with a silent and eerie chill.
I was just a few yards away from the front door when I started to pick up on something new, a sweet, bitter, and stale smell. The air was thick, rather very thick for a summer evening. Somehow it was humid when it shouldn t have been. But that scent hung in the air, it was faint but I could tell it was there. It started to remind me of the smell of blood. BLOOD!!!...Suddenly at that thought I broke into a run, I feared for Father s life.
Father!? I shouted as I charged into the front door, but it was too late. No amount of training, or discipline could prepare me for what I was about to see.
I came to a skidding halt in the middle of the living room of our farmhouse. My eyes immediately met the sight of my father laying in his bed, laying face up, with his eyes closed, in a peaceful slumber. I realized what was happening...
I stood there in disbelief. I don't know how long I was still, as I had lost all perception of time when I saw him. When I could finally move again, I inched my way to where he was resting. With each step I took, I started to make out his condition in the dim light. He was pale, and perfectly still. No even a hint of breathing I kept trying to rationalize in my mind that he was just sleeping, and that he just needed rest, but I knew that I was lying to myself. He would never sleep on his back. When I finally stood over his bed, I strained my eyes to fight back what I knew I was seeing. I finally reached a hand, ever so slowly, to feel his forehead, hoping that it would be burning hot from a fever.
But instead, I felt nothing but the cold icy touch that death leaves on it's victims. In that moment, my life changed. I had tried to tell myself long ago when he was first taking ill to be ready for the instant when I would have no choice but to find him gone. But no matter how hard I tried to pound it in my mind, I was never prepared. He was dead, and I was alone for the first time in my life.
A huge wave of fear took over me, leaving me trembling as I withdrew my hand. I closed my eyes just as the tears began to swell up. I started to sob a little then let myself gently begin to fall backwards onto the floor. Laying on my back I cried in silence. I had never felt such sadness and pain, little did I know was that the pain was going to only get worse over the next month or so.
I wanted to try and think ahead as to what I was going to have to do by myself, but my mind was so overwhelmed with loss and sadness that I couldn't think straight. A huge wound in my soul had appeared, and there was no healer in all of Tamriel that could help me at that moment.
For several minutes I let myself lay there in silence, lost in myself with no way out of that painful hellish trance that left me as but a shadow of my former self. When I finally came out of my trance I still felt like I was in a nightmare. I was still hoping that it was just something I was going to wake up from. But no luck, I didn't stop feeling the stillness in the air, the emptiness in the room, and the sadness that seemed be that of the world grieving with me. I slowly stumbled out of the farmhouse in complete and utter shock, and dropped to my knees just outside the door with my head in my hands. With no idea what else to do I just sobbed into my hands.
Out in the distance I heard voices, coming from the direction of Kvatch.
No, I know that it's his handwriting, after all, why would he make a mistake like that when he wrote it? A familiar voice spoke to a companion.
But Lianis, I'm well aware that you've had legal troubles with the Dikata's before, I just want to make sure that everything is in order, so if you'll just... Salvian Mattias paused right as he saw me. ...oh no...
AH! Dairou! I'm glad you're here! Lianis said, I looked up from my hands to see Liani's ugly smiling face as he proudly marched his way down the path. I have good news!
Salvian Mattias, the Captain of the Guard in Kvatch, was trailing behind him as if he were some sort of entourage. However he didn't follow the the enthusiasm that Liani's was displaying I knew that whatever news Liani's had was only bad news. There just wasn't any other kind from that sick bastard. As for his smile, it seemed a bit too happy, like he was proud of something I knew that I wasn't going to like what he was up to this time.
What... I asked as I got up with tears still in my eyes. ...the hell are you doing here!? .
He walked up to me and held out his hand offering it to me to shake with a big grin on his face. I drew my hand away and sneered to show as much disrespect toward him as I could. Salvian flinched at the sight of my expression. He knew full well about our history.
Your father and I settled our differences just before he died, and now... He announced as he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a rolled up piece of paper that looked official. ...you don't have to deal with the burden of selling the farm!
What!? I shouted in surprise. I was not in the right frame of mind to deal with what he was about to pull off. If I could have stepped outside of myself at that moment, I would have realized that past that point, there was no rationalizing what I as going to do. He withdrew his hand when I didn't shake it.
Your father and I started talking right after you left, and well...we put our disagreements aside, I offered a truce first of course, but he happily agreed. We talked about old times that we had before you were born, and well, he was so happy to be friends that he rewrote the will just to make things easier for you! I will be getting the farm now, after all, I know you can't possibly deal with the burden of taking care of it yourself! He went on. My jaw dropped and my eyes went wide. I could not believe what had just came out of that no good, low life, worthless swine's mouth. He finally offered me the rolled up piece of paper in his hand. He even asked me to help him write out out a new will seeing as his previous one was not well thought out when it was written.
I snatched the scroll out of his hand and opened it up. It read in a more official tone then Father's real will.
I Hiryu Dikata,
On this date 3E 432, have revised my original will. I feel that I have found a more fitting candidate to my estate when I leave this world. That candidate's name is Lianis Venin of the Venin family. He has been like a brother to me for years and despite my constant antagonizing has found it in his good heart to forgive me for the troubles that I have caused him. I leave everything in my estate to him.
The Dikata Farm located east-northeast of Kvatch
The farming tools found on site of Dikata farm
Any small useful possessions such as stools, bowls, bottles, or dishes.
Any weapons found on site, including:Wooden practice swords, Knives, Axes, Maces, Long or Short swords, and especially the rare Akaveri blade.
I believe that I have given sufficient proof of ownership and that everything mentioned above should be released without hesitation and without any overhead from the probate courts to Lianis Venin. Anyone who wishes to contest this legal binding will shall be fined and given an appropriate sentence to compensate the good-hearted nature of the Venin family whom has been a loyal friend to the Dikata family for generations.
Signed: Hiryu Dikata
I could not believe what I was reading, I wasn't reeling from disbelief so much as I was enraged at the obvious lie that I was reading in my hands. Everything written in the deed about father's intent was obviously fabricated. Worse yet, Akaviri was even spelled wrong. My muscles started to tense, I didn't know anger like that before. The adrenaline in my blood started to flow through me like the whitewater currents, and the hatred that my heart had always known for that man started to burn like a wildfire. I looked up into Lianis' eyes with a look of obvious malevolence.
Yet somehow he his tone didn't change. He was still smiling proudly like he had just triumphed over me. His smile seemed even brighter because of what I had just read, which disgusted me even more. Salvian Mattias noticed my expression and immediately took the initiative.
Wait, Lianis, I'd like to have a look at that will first before you start... He said as he put a hand on Lianis' shoulder who in turn recoiled in anger.
I have you know that I can have the count relieve you of your responsibilities as Guard Captain if you get involved! He shouted at him, then turned to me, put on that disgusting smile again, leaned forward, and held out his hand. Now Dairou, if you will be as so kind as to hand me my blade that you are wearing on your side I can be on my way to having your father's funeral arrangements made.
The burning, boiling, hatred that I felt for Lianis before was nothing compared to what I suddenly felt. He thought I would hand over the one thing that father told me to make sure he never go this hands on...I snapped...
In one quick motion I drove every bit of my fist into his nose sending him stumbling backwards. Going on pure hatred I then drove my foot into his stomach, knocking him back several feet through the air. He landed on his side with a heavy thud. Mattias was so stunned that he didn't have time to stop me. I quickly ran up on Lianis and pinned him to the ground with my foot on his throat. He looked up at me with fear in his eyes for the first time. The blood dripping from his nose was somewhat poetic to me.
This... I growled as I slowly drew my katana. ...is for my FATHER!
I inverted the grip, then with both hands, held it high above my head...
But just as I was about to bring it down...
NO DAIROU DON'T DO IT!! Mattias shouted as he tackled me from behind. We both hit the ground hard. He tried to restrain my hands but my years of training in the grappling arts far surpassed that of the aging soldier. I easily slipped out of his grasp and made it to my feet in a hurry, all without losing my grip on my weapon.
My instinct of self preservation kicked in and I decided to take advantage of the moment and run away. If I had stayed, I would have been thrown in the city's jail and put on trail. I knew that would have meant that Lianis would have won, and I would rather go to hell then let that snake in the grass hold my blade with anything other then his throat.
But just as I disappeared into the tree line I heard Salvian Mattias shout, but not at me.
GET BACK TO YOUR MANOR RIGHT NOW AND STAY THERE, I CLEARLY SAW YOU PROVOKE THAT ATTACK. THIS WILL BE PLACED UNDER A THUROUGH INVESTIGATION UNTIL WE GET DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS, UNTIL THEN, YOU ARE UNDER HOUSE ARREST UNTIL I SAY OTHERWISE!!
I clearly heard it, but my mind didn't perceive what he said other then that I knew where Lianis was going to be.
Later that night...
I found myself hiding in the brushes just on the outside of the Venin Manor. Watching the shadows move in the windows, I picked out the smaller one as Anita Venin, his wife. The one that was throwing it's arms about was obviously Lianis, probably angry that he was not allowed to leave his manor. There was a guard posted at the front gate, but other then that, there was really no one watching it from the outside.
For all the wrong that I had been dealt, Lianis was going to pay with his life. He was the reason I was there, he was the one who had only a few hours to repent for everything he did. Forgiveness, however, was something that he would never know.
For several hours I waited for the silhouettes to die down from the excitement. From what I could tell it appeared that Anita was finally sleeping upstairs, while Lianis was downstairs sitting. I silently made my way from the brush that I had been sitting in to circle around to the side of the gate. The officer on duty didn't seem to be too thrilled about his station, and thus didn't pay much attention. I could sympathize with him, but I had no choice but to undermine his authority by evading his attention. After being able to jump the gate without making a sound I quietly tiptoed my way up to the entrance of the Venin manor. I quickly turned to look over my shoulder to make sure that the sentry had not seen me. Thankfully enough he was nearly asleep standing up. Perfect, if he did fall asleep, there was going to be no way that he could hear what was about to take place.
I gently placed my hand on the doorknob and ever so slowly turned it in a painstaking manner. I was careful enough to not allow the door to make a sound, and my caution was rewarded. As I slowly made my way in and started to close the door behind me, I could hear Lianis in the next room. He seemed to be talking to himself, or, for lack of a better word, rehearsing.
I knew that boy was up to no good! He ranted. For years he did his best to cause me and his father nothing but trouble. Oh...I'm sure that is father did love him, but he had no choice. He can't hate his own flesh and blood! No matter how bad of a boy his son was...always stealing from me in the middle of the night, or...or...or telling people lies about me.
I guessed that he was rehearsing what he was going to be saying to the count in the morning. In a hallway off to my right I could see his shadow pacing back and forth in the study.
He was right where I wanted him to be, out of the way, and out of sight. I figured that Anita had been drowning the sound of Lianis out trying to get some sleep. If she heard him scream then hopefully she would just shrug it off because he was already yelling pretty loudly.
I stalked my way down the hallway toward Lianis' shadow, careful not to make a sound, which was easy to avoid doing since he was stomping anyway. When I finally was just around the corner I knelt down and took a quick peek into the room. Sure enough he was doing exactly what I pictured, except for the fact that he was drunk. He was shouting poorly thought out accusations, flailing his arms about, and pointing at imaginary people. Typical of him, when there's no one awake to take it out on, he was pretending that there was someone to rant to. He looked absolutely disgusting to me. His ugly wrinkled face, snobby voice, stuck-up expression, pride, and tendency for drama only added to the infinite reasons I had for what I was going to do. He turned away from my general direction to yell at an imaginary opponent, which was all the time I needed to make my move. I stood up and boldly walked around the corner. He turned around just in time to meet my elbow as I slammed it into his nose.
His head was knocked back but he couldn't stumble because I suddenly had a firm grip on the jacket he was still wearing. I yanked him back to me and slammed him onto the floor with a loud thud, knocking the wind out of him. Without hesitation I jumped onto him and started pounding my fists into his face with the rage of a wolf attacking it's prey.
I felt all of my bottled up anger unleash itself as I rained blow after blow upon Lianis. If I gave him the chance to beg for mercy, I would have granted him none.
Lianis tried to throw up his arms to protect himself, but that only enraged me even more. So in anger I grabbed one of his arms and rolled off of him twisting it in a sickening position in the process. His eyes went wide as he tried to scream, but it was muffled from his mouth being closed since somewhere in beating his face in I had broken his jaw. Blood sprayed out of his mouth instead. I stood up and with my adrenaline fueled strength picked him up and slammed him up against the wall, holding him up by his throat.
Lianis looked at me with tears in his eyes, almost begging me to stop. But at that point I was beyond remorse, or reason. I hated every bit of his existence and the suffering that he had put father and I through was something that he could never compensate me for.
I slowly reached my hand to draw my katana from my back, as I did so Lianis' eyes grew wider while they watched my hand. I suddenly felt a taint of satisfaction as I watched the fear in his broken and bloody face paralyze him in my grasp. He couldn t scream so much as gurgle and whimper as my blade slowly left it s sheathe.
Finally, I held the blade up to his face, just under his nose, which caused him to struggle with what little strength I had not beat out of him.
You wanted this blade from the day you laid eyes upon it, I growled You thought that you would be able to take it didn t you. Take one last good look at it, it shall be the last thing you see now...this is for the lifetime of pain that you put us through...and this...is for my mother!
I released my hold on him, but before he could enjoy the freedom from my death grip, I plunged my sword into his stomach. He looked up at me with and more tears started to flow from his eyes. No sympathy could be found in my conscienceless at that moment, for I had used plenty of tears during my lifetime to calm myself from every atrocity that he had ever committed to harm my father and I.
Now you will have eternity to think about what you have done... I hissed
The agony in his face only made me more apathetic, I withdrew my blade to his relief, only to drive it right back in, this time, I twisted it to inflict even more damage. Gradually I repeated the motion, he tried to call out for help, but before he could make much noise I slammed my foot into his throat to break his windpipe. A gurgling sound erupted from his mouth causing him to spit up blood. He was in more pain then he had ever felt before, and I reveled in his suffering. I pulled my katana out of his torso and with all the bottled up anger in my heart, I unleashed a fury of cuts and slashes to every part of his body that wasn't already injured, in just a few seconds his entire body was covered in a crimson blanket of his own blood. In one final swipe, I brought my blade down across his throat, slicing his neck wide open causing his head to fall back hanging on only by his spinal cord. He fell backwards on to the floor, staining the entire carpet with blood.
My eyes flung open as I jumped up from the bed. It was only a nightmare from the recent past. Just another reminder of why I was there. I had made my journey to the Faregyl Inn, a small bed-and-tavern that was ran by a Khajiit who was very prided herself more in her Famous potato bread then her business. During the day I had tried to make conversation with her, which was easy except for the part about learning what I wanted. It was hard to get her to tell me about the Inn of Ill Omen when all she wanted to talk about was her bread. Which didn't impress me much by it's taste, but it was nice and filling as it was the first real meal that I had eaten in days. Eventually I got her to tell me about other inns that she knew about, which was also more then I really intended to know. Somehow she knew where just about every other in was on the western half of Cyrodiil. I didn't tell her that I knew about the Brina Cross Inn, just more ties that I had to break if I was going to be able to find my way into a new life.
When I had finished mentally recapping everything I had done in the last few days I stood up from the bed, carelessly letting the blanket drift to the floor. It was night, which was exactly what I had been waiting for, what I had slept most of the day through. I could hear the rain pouring down just outside the window of my room. Perfect!
I quietly slipped on my armor and attached my Katana to my back. After a few minutes of making sure that my armor was in place I stood up and began to walk to the door. As I strode across the room, I couldn't help but turn and look in the mirror that sat upon the dresser. My reflection was different from before, I almost didn't recognize myself. Normally I looked young and curious, or at least that's how I would have described it. But this time, I looked tired and pale. Dark circles lined my bloodshot eyes and I my face was just a tad bit thinner then before, almost as if I had died. My hair was unkempt save for the fact that it was being held away from my face by a headband that I had discovered in my inner pocket on my kimono on my journey there. It didn't have any kind of sentimental value, nor did it look very spectacular, but somehow it gave my appearance a little bit of dignity to what I had quickly deteriorated to.
I made a mental note to get some rest later. Not that I truly cared what I looked like anymore, but a healthier looking face was easier for most people to talk to then a pale and deathly looking creature like me. I figured that I would probably avoid suspicion better if I looked more appealing to the eyes. I pushed that thought into the back of my mind and slowly opened the door to the hallway. It was quiet, like I had hoped. I tiptoed my way to the top of the stairs and stepped into the lobby. The Innkeeper was fast asleep on a bed that was made behind the counter. Judging by the empty bottles next to her head, she was going to be asleep for quite a while. Everything seems to be going almost too well. I thought as I stepped outside.
In the distance I saw a flash of lighting followed by a crack of thunder. The mood for my mission that night was set. Tonight, more blood will be spilled. I thought to myself as I took off in the direction of the Inn of Ill Omen.
Day 1,
It's been so long since I tried to keep a journal. I didn't think I would ever find myself writing my thoughts down again, but here I am. Sitting here in a room at an inn, with a new clothes and finally a bath. It's much more comfortable then sleeping in the woods again or in some back ally, or worse, the sewers. Since I do have a couple days to think about what has happened, I might as well start off with how I got here. Nearly a month ago I was chased down by a bandit who wanted to rob me of more then money that I didn't have. He was much faster and stronger then me and overwhelmed me in an instant, but because I kept struggling he beat me with his club until I was all but dead. I still remember the fear I felt when he pulled my hair and threw me to the ground. The nightmares of being beaten while having my clothes ripped off still haunt me, in fact I am crying even as I try to write this. I'm going to take a moment to catch myself before I continue writing.
Alright, I think I can write without breaking down. Anyway, he was just about to...I'll be back...right before he could do what he was about to do, I bit him. I bit him hard on the neck, it was all I could think of to do from being so scared. When I did, he bled, I had never seen so much blood in my life, he bled all over himself and all over me, and what was worse, is that tried to choke me, but somehow he couldn't, his grip kept getting weak. Then I realized that I must have bitten his artery on his neck because when he stopped choking me, he just lay on top of me. Then it finally hit me that I killed him. I was in so much pain from shock and my broken bones that I passed out.
I awakened to find myself healed by a man in a dark cape. I was afraid for my life at first, until I realized that it was him who saved me. He told me that he would give me a new life and a home to go to, only after he told me to...well, I don't want to talk about that either...I'll leave that out for now, that's an experience I'd like to forget as well, but at that moment, I'd do anything to have a home to come to. What I did was horrible, and I want to forget about it, but at least it wasn't as bad as what that bandit would have had me do...hold on...okay, I think I can finish this journal entry without crying.
Anyway, Lucien told me to make my way to Cheydinhal after I finished my task, which is where I'm headed now. He gave me specific instructions on what to do when I get there, I have to look for an abandoned house, and make my way in. He said that it would be best if I were undetected when I attempt to enter.
I don't know for sure what all the secrecy is for, or why he had me kill that man, but I have nothing really to live for, so I can't really stoop any lower. I have no family, at least none who love me, and no friends, no home to come to, and no possessions to call my own. I hate being alone, I hate what my mother and father did to me, and I hate what I did, but most of all, I hate myself, for being born as I am. I would do anything to have someone to talk to, someplace to call my own. But this is all I have, and I've stooped pretty low in order to have a warm bed to sleep in. I hope that in time I can stop feeling this guilt, but for now, I'll have to deal with it.
Maybe someday I'll start over.
End of Day 1
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I don t quite remember the name that we use for this in the Bujinkan, but it is possible to pick up on the killer intent of those who want to harm you. This was tested on me by Sensei Shidoshi Andrew Russell. Look up any info you can about the Godan Test(5th degree black belt of Bujinkan Budo Taijutsu, not me) to get what I mean. I ve tested it myself, and have had it tested on me. I don t know how to explain it, but it s real. Skeptics can leave now or you can test it by sitting down in front of me with your eyes closed while I hold a live blade over you(no threat intended but that s how the test is, course the blade may be live, but it s not sharpened, you would pick up on my intent to kill you and dodge it without the used of your senses)
Well, another month, and another chapter, I hope that I haven't disappointed anyone. This chapter took quite a bit out of me to put together, especially after what I had been going through in the last month or so. I lost a four year relationship all because my girl cheated on me with some guy who she only knew for two days. It was tough, but I'm working my way through it. I'm actually doing very well thanks to the support that I've been getting from a few close friends of mine.
I know that my deviant art page has most of you wanting to know who miss XXXX is, well, now you get to read her journals. You'll get to meet her for sure in the next chapter.
Hope you've all enjoyed this story so far, now you see Dairou falling even farther from his former self now. Gotta wonder though...how far does one have to fall before they have reached the bottom?
I thank you for your reviews and I appreciate the time you take to read this, thanks for everything you guys.