CHAPTER 10

A long moment had passed since Ami had left the shrine. The remaining three girls and the black cat were still inside Rei's room. The scene looked not too unlike the one they had had a few days ago in Ami's apartment. Rei was sitting with her head down, her hair covering her face. Usagi was slowly stroking the miko's head, trying to comfort her just like she had been comforted herself during the earlier struggle. Luna was lying on a pillow staring numbly out in the air. Makoto was standing up, pacing back and forth on the floor and muttering quietly to herself just like she had done before in Ami's home – but this time it was of crushing sadness rather than anger.

"...and I... I turned her away," the tall girl whispered to herself. "I did not believe her. I told her everything she said was lies..." She pressed her hands against her chest. She bit her lip and sniffed, trying to hold the tears in. "...but it was different. She had made observations. She presented it to me. She tried her best to give me proof that she was telling the truth. She did not just ramble like she usually does..." She shook her head. "...but I turned her away. I told her she was being absurd. She must have felt so lonely..."

"It was not your fault, Makoto," Luna said. She looked at Makoto with as much comfort as a small, black cat could muster up. "No one of us could believe that something like this would happen. No one could predict that Ami would do something like that, and that Minako would take revenge upon Ami."

When Luna mentioned Ami's name, Makoto's eyes darkened. "That girl... That blue haired, manipulative little narcissist. I can't believe I thought of her as innocent..." Her hand curled up into a fist. "I always thought she was so sweet. But I should have known. After all, I have seen how much Ami bitches about being on top in everything she does. I have seen how annoyed she gets if she does not make it to the number one spot. I used to think of it as cute, but now I see what effects it can have on her and on other people."

She sighed and let her hands fall down on the side. She turned her head and looked at Rei and Usagi. Rei's head was still hanging down, her long, thick hair effectively hiding her face.

"Rei..." Usagi said quietly. "Please look at me."

She grabbed Rei's chin and gently raised her head, then brushed away the dark strands of hair. Makoto felt a sting in her heart when she saw the miko's face. She was very pale and her eyes looked dead tired. Ami's words had obviously hurt her deeply.

"Rei..." Usagi said again and stroked her hair. "Please don't be sad."

Rei looked at Usagi weakly. It looked like she was fighting the tears back. "How could she say something like that?" she said quietly. "How could she say something like that to me?"

Usagi looked at Rei with sad, hopeless eyes.

Rei shook her head and sniffed. "She cannot say something like that to me. She does not have the right to say something like that."

Rei lowered her head again. Usagi was biting her lip, a sad expression on her face. The two girls remained in silence for a long moment. Then eventually, Usagi looked up at Rei again. She took a breath and said: "Rei... I don't think she meant what she said."

The pain remained in Rei's eyes. "She had no right to say something like that..." she whispered.

Usagi put her arms around Rei and pulled her close. "Rei... I know that Ami had no right to do what she did. And I know that you feel terrible about it. But I ask you..." She took a breath. "I ask you to please forgive her."

Rei did not answer. She stared intensely at the wall, breathing quietly through her nose.

"I know I am asking a lot," Usagi continued, "but I feel so bad seeing Minako and Ami being so angry, and I couldn't handle it if you would break down too. So please... forgive her."

Rei continued staring at the wall without a reply, but tears were slowly forming in the corner of her eyes.

Usagi put her head on top of Rei's and stroke her shoulder with her hand. "Please..." she whispered into the miko's ear. "For me?"

Rei let out a sigh. A single teardrop ran down her cheek. Then she gave a little nod, then another. She wiped her eye with the back of her hand.

Makoto felt something thick in her throat. She kneeled down in front of Rei and Usagi and looked the blonde girl into the eyes. "Usagi..." she mumbled, trying to find the right words. "You are very kind and I really appreciate that. But I honestly feel that Ami went too far. I want to forgive her too. I really do." She sighed, guilt flashing in her eyes. "But I feel it's difficult to do that at this moment."

Usagi looked at Makoto with her blue, innocent eyes. "Makoto... To tell the truth, I think... I think we were maybe too hard on her."

Makoto looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean? She did something very bad against us. She deserved to be told off. We had to tell her off."

"I know..." Usagi said, her face filled with sadness. "But... I am not so sure that a brutal, direct approach like that was the best thing to do. Not with her."

"I don't understand."

Usagi looked at Makoto with pleading eyes. "Makoto, Ami easily gets afraid when you raise your voice at her, but she is always a very good listener if you take it easy. Maybe we should have said all those things in a more relaxed, explaining way instead of tossing it right into her face? Ami is probably not very used to getting scolded like that. It must have come as a shock for her."

Makoto swallowed. Usagi did have a point, but she still had plenty of anger deep within. "She said some really bad things to us," she said. "Particularly to Rei. And to you too. And she did this whole big thing against Minako. You just cannot forgive like that."

Usagi's eyes became really sad. "I know... but I want us to forgive her anyway. I cannot... I cannot stand all this sadness and anger..."

"You cannot forgive like that," Makoto protested, but her voice was starting to crack up. "You honestly cannot argue that we should forgive her just like that. It's not rational!"

"I know, but..." Usagi said and closed her eyes of sadness. "Makoto... Do you remember what Ami said to us during our argument?"

Makoto looked confused. "No?"

"She pointed out that all of us have done bad things sometimes. She said that none of us is free of guilt. And I think that she is right."

Makoto shook her head. "But that's..."

"Makoto," Usagi said and looked her friend deep into the eyes. "Have you always been a nice person to everybody? Have you never done any bad things that forced you to apologize to the ones you hurt? Have you always been an angel?" Usagi took a deep breath and looked at the others. "Has Rei always been an angel? Has Minako always been an angel? Have I always been an angel?"

Makoto stared at Usagi. She did not know what to say.

"We have told Ami what we think," Usagi continued. "She now knows that it was not okay. After all that, what more is there left to do? The only thing we can do now is to forgive her and welcome her back."

Silence spread in the room after Usagi had finished. Makoto stared at Usagi. She stared at her moon princess whom she loved so much. Tears were forming in the brown haired girl's eyes. It was moments like these that made her understand why Usagi was so loved by everyone.

Then a voice spoke up. "She is right."

It was Rei. She had raised her head and straightened her back and now looked at the others. She looked a lot more relaxed now than before. Her face had regained some color and life had come back in her eyes.

"She is right," Rei said again. "Usagi is completely right about this, and I have decided to forgive Ami." She took a breath and continued: "I know I have the right to be angry, but I don't want to go on with that. I want this to end. Now. If I would push it, I would only continue the negative circle. And who knows where that would end? Now we have two runaway scouts, and frankly, I am getting fed up with all the lies, deception and negative emotions that we have had the last few days. Besides, we need to have a strong team if we are going to protect the people. We cannot go on like this."

Makoto looked at the miko and then back at the moon princess. She exhaled deeply and focused to force the darkness out of her mind. Finally, she felt the relief fill her heart. She closed her eyes. "Okay..." she said. "I agree with you. I forgive Ami."

Usagi took her friends' hands. "Thank you, Makoto," she said to her tall friend, "and thank you, Rei."

"I am proud of your decision," Luna said. She walked up to the three girls and sat down in front of them. "This is the right thing to do. We need to sort things out, leave it behind and move on. That's what noble warriors would do."

"'Noble warriors'?" Makoto said with a bitter chuckle. "'Noble warriors'? We're just like a bunch of five year olds fighting over a box of candy." She shook her head. "We cannot even be honest with each other. We just lie, cheat and manipulate! If our enemies saw this, they would be laughing. We are the Sailor team, the defenders of our planets, and we can't even function together as a group!"

"Don't say that, Makoto," Luna said softly. She walked up to the tall girl and put her small paws on her foot. "You are the defenders of this planet, but don't forget that you are also a group of fourteen year old girls." She stroked herself against Makoto's leg and continued: "...and you are also very different from each other as persons. Your personalities, temperaments, and ambitions are all different. It is easy to understand that conflicts like these happen sometimes. But don't forget, Makoto, that the differences between the five of you are also one of your biggest strengths. It helps you a lot any time you are in combat, and most important of all, it makes the friendship between you so much stronger and so much more unique."

Makoto kneeled down and stroke the black cat's fur. The anger in her face disappeared. "Thanks, Luna..."

Luna's little speech, combined with the determination of Usagi and Rei, seemed to have an effect. The mood and the atmosphere lit up and they all started to feel a little bit of hope inside.

"Luna is right," Rei said. A small smile appeared on her lips. The first one in a long time. "We do have a lot of conflicts, and we do need to put a lot of energy into maintaining our friendships – probably a lot more than other people. But in the end, it is all worth it."

"I agree!" Usagi blurted out. "I know that Minako and Ami are good people deep down, and I want to make them happy again."

Makoto could not help feeling affected by the newfound confidence in her two friends. She felt herself lighten up a little inside.

Moments of silence passed as they sat still on the floor. After a while, Makoto put her face into a frown. She looked up at the dark haired girl next to her. "Rei, I need to check something with you, just to be sure. Have you sensed any kind of energy in Ami and Minako over these days? You know, like an evil force or something?"

Rei gave her a pained look. "I'm sorry, Makoto, I did not sense anything of that kind in them..." The miko sighed. "I know what you're after, but I'm afraid that what we are dealing with here is simply human nature, nothing more. This is the work of their personalities and nothing else..."

Makoto nodded quietly. Her gaze moved down to the floor again.

"So... what do we do now?" she asked after a few moments. "Does anybody have any idea what to do with Minako and Ami?"

Usagi sat up and looked at the others. "I think it won't be too difficult with Minako," she said slowly. "I know how she is, and what she thinks and feels. She always gets very upset at first, but then she calms down and regrets everything she has said and done. I'm sure that she's feeling very sad and lonely now. I'm sure she wants nothing more than to apologize to us. And I think..." She took a breath. "...I think she's afraid. Afraid that we will not take her back. Afraid that we do not want to forgive her. And I am sure that she would ask for forgiveness at once if we just welcome her back with open arms."

The others said nothing. They just watched respectfully as the moon princess told her feelings from the heart.

"However," Usagi said and looked a little bit worried, "I'm more concerned about Ami."

"How so?" Rei asked.

"As I mentioned before, Ami is not used to getting scolded like that, and it must have been a big blow for her. I don't know how she will handle these emotions."

"What do you mean?" Makoto said.

"The problem is... Ami is used to being alone. She is used to be without friends and to bury herself in her books. That's what she did all the time before we made friends."

She looked the others in the eyes. A small glimpse of fear appeared.

"I'm worried that Ami might go back to living a bit like she used to do before she met us. I'm worried that she might choose to grow cold and isolate herself from others. And if she shuts herself, it might be very difficult for us to make her open herself again."

They all looked at each other, worry showing in their eyes.

Makoto swallowed. "Does anyone know where Minako is? Can we find her?"

Rei looked at her with her big, dark eyes. "I don't know where she is, but I think I know a way to find out."

The other three looked at each other. They all knew what Rei was planning.

"I assume you want to be alone," Luna said.

"I'd prefer to, yes," Rei said. "I apologize for that."

"It's okay," Usagi said. She gave Rei one last hug and then stood up. "Do your best, okay?"

Makoto and Luna stood up as well. They gathered their things and slowly walked out, leaving Rei alone in the room.

The girl with the long raven hair slowly walked inside the big room. In the middle of the room was a huge fire, spreading its rays of light through the darkness. The girl stopped a few feet away from the smoldering flames. Her face was still, showing no emotion at all. Not even the heat of the fire could lure out a drop of sweat on her pale skin. Her dark, violet eyes reflected the sparks of the fire, highlighting the concentration that was burning inside her irises.

In a slow and smooth motion, she sat down on the floor in front of the fire. She crossed her legs and straightened her back. She put her hands together and held them in front of her chest. She then closed her eyes and began focusing. Her breathing became slower and more regular. She cleared her mind of all thoughts and let the rhythmic, cracking sound of the fire fill her ears.

Slowly, her attachment to the earthly world began to fade. Her mind opened itself to the spiritual energies of the planet. She began feeling a presence around her. The presence of thousands of souls. She could feel their hearts beat and hear their voices speak. They ran through her soul like a river of spiritual energy.

One with the world, she slowly began refocusing her energy. Through the gigantic ocean of souls, she tried to erase the noise of all the million voices. She blocked them out one by one, trying to focus on the ones that had a true connection to her heart.

After some time, the buzzing of the spiritual cloud thinned out. The dark noise of the cosmic energy faded and she began recognizing the voices she was familiar with. Slowly, she started to identify the presence of her friends in the big dark vastness.

Far away, she could feel the energy from one of the souls. She let her spirit reach out to the energy source. Slowly she made contact and let her senses grasp the energy, letting it take shape and form in her mind.

As the energy was flowing through her, her senses started to feel its basic physical properties. It was something smooth, something that was running. Moisture. Wetness of some kind. Then came the visual properties. Blue. The color blue touched her mind. And then, the sound of waves. She then felt the mental projection. The soul was weak, frail and timid.

The raven haired girl suddenly gasped and briefly lost her concentration. There were more feelings there. Anger. A big fog of anger clouded the aquatic spirit. The rage was fresh and breathing, pulsating violently in the dark space. There were also other feelings accompanying the anger. Fear, disappointment, feelings of betrayal, loneliness...

Rei tried to approach the spiritual energy once again, but to no avail. The soul did not want to be touched. The soul had locked itself into the cloud of anger, blocking out anyone who tried to connect with it. Rei exhaled and tried to recover her relaxed mood. She slowly let go of the spiritual energy and once again opened herself for the vast darkness.

Then she felt something far away in the darkness. A small, pulsating source of energy belonging to another soul. She slowly began focusing on the newfound energy. It was surprisingly weak. As she approached the spirit, she began feeling more of its features. Heat. Light. The essence of the spirit was something warm and bright. The colors of red and gold flashed before her mind. The energy was complex and unpredictable, but still endlessly powerful, like... Rei focused to find the feeling she was looking for. Love. Yes, that was it. The energy reminded her of the feeling of love.

As she took in more and more of the spiritual force, she felt that the strong energy was tainted with something else. A heap of other emotions swirled around inside the spirit, gnawing on its soul. Rei felt a shiver run through her mind when she felt its emotions. Torment, sadness, regret. The soul was in heavy pain. But the pain was not directed towards other spirits. The pain was directed inwards, towards the soul itself. This soul held a lot of guilt, and it was punishing itself for it.

As she moved closer and closer to the soul, she could feel something else. The soul was not turning her away. It was calling out for help. Beneath the murmur of the negative emotions, the soul was screaming for someone to help it. Rei focused and moved closer and closer. She slowly pushed her own energy into the other soul, embracing it, uniting with it, until she could almost feel the person's heartbeats. She moved closer and closer...

Then there was a bright flash before her eyes. And then she found herself on the wooden floor in her home, in front of the fire, panting heavily.

She slowly crawled up, trying to get a grip of herself. Her hands were shaking and her skin was soaked with sweat. She took several deep breaths, trying to get her pounding heart under control.

Once she had gotten her emotions in balance, she slowly stood up. The intense sensation she had felt when making contact with the spirit had scared her deeply. There was so much pain there. So much loneliness and despair that she for a split second had thought it would crush her. But regardless of how devastated she felt, she knew she had succeeded in her task. The soul had called out to her. The soul had connected with her. And most important of all: the soul had told her where it was hiding.

She shook her head and focused for a few more moments in order to completely regain her composure. She raised her head and took one last look at the fire in front of her. Then she turned around and walked out of the room.

She now knew where her friend was.