A Narnian King
(A man in silver armor, red cloth, and a lion symbol takes a sword from his sheath and raises it into the air.)
Loyal warrior to the great lion, Aslan.
(A Narnian Soldier clashes blades with a minotaur before pushing it over and slitting its throat.)
A Mirkwood Elf
(A blonde elf in foreign armor takes aim with a bow and arrow)
Sharpshooting warriors from the great Woodland Realm.
(A Mirkwood Elf fires an arrow at an orc, then turns and plants a sword into another.)
WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?
To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe.
No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…
The Deadliest Warrior
The fight club rang with the sounds of metal on metal, rooms were decorated with weaponry and dummies wearing armor that was worlds apart.
Today in the fight club, we've gathered doctors, scientists, and combat experts in a matchup between two of fantasy literature's greatest warriors…
A Narnian King: devoted, loyal ruler of the Great Lion's land…
VS…
A Mirkwood Elf: Pinpoint-accurate warrior from Middle Earth.
Narnian King:
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 147lbs
Gear: 35lbs
Armor: Plated Steel and chain mail
Mirkwood Elf:
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 130lbs
Gear: 25lbs
Armor: Plated Iron and chain mail
A white hedgehog inspected a pressure sensor in his hand, then applied force to it. It was working like it should.
Biomedical engineer, TLSoulDude, will measure the forces that these weapons will unleash.
"For this matchup, we have a Narnian King who will fight to the death no matter what and we have an elf that will kill you as quickly as possible." TL said, giddy as a child, "I'm gonna enjoy this fight."
A man in military getup and a black beret studied a few ballistics gel body parts to make sure they were substantial. They were even better…
Weapons expert and medical man, Sergeant Reynol, will gauge the damage the two warriors will cause
"These two are going to be at it a while." Ray explained, "Both are wearing similar armor, so it's all going to boil down to the warrior UNDER the armor."
A young ninja with spiky, red hair typed a few bits of data into a laptop.
Computer wiz, Lunatic 121, will gather test data and input it into a special program to decide the victor.
"We don't just have different humans with different armor and weapons this time." Lunatic explained, "These guys look similar, but they're two different species with different training."
The computer, developed by Slytherine Studios, will create a virtual fight between Narnian and Mirkwood to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior.
On the side of the Great Lion, we have assembled experts worthy of the title…
A young man with brown hair dons Narnian armor before taking a sword in hand and giving a few practice swings.
Ryan Huffman will lead the charge for the Narnia. He is part of a Narnian royal bloodline and trains in combat used by Narnians and Telmarines.
"A Narnian King will fight for anything and everything." Huffman stated, "He's not going to hesitate to defend his people or land like an indecisive elf."
Another young man, this one with dirty-blonde hair, tapped a shield with his knuckles. Solid as ever.
Peter Pevensie will also be fighting for Narnia. He was one of the four chosen ones along with his siblings Edmund, Susan, and Lucy and took up the title "Peter the Magnificent".
"This elf won't be prepared for a king who will give his all." Peter informed, "I know I didn't as a king."
Narnian Kings were some of the few humans who ever occupied the land of Narnia. Due to their importance to Narnian culture, Narnian natives spent as much time and effort into training these humans to be the best of the best.
"In the short time I was in Narnia, I had to learn swordplay, horseback riding, along with archery and war tactics." KingHuffman explained, "It was mind-boggling, but it paid off. Not one soldier has taken me down…not yet, anyway."
But the opposing side is putting their money on the sharpshooting, highly-disciplined warriors from Lothlorien: the Mirkwood Elf.
A blonde, long-haired elf takes aim with a bow before firing.
Legolas is a Lothlorien prince and an expert in both swords and archery.
"This king stands no chance against an elf." Legolas stated, clearly and calmly, "We've lived for hundreds, even thousands of years, and our senses prove our point."
An older elf with a more confident face and a red cape took a sword and performed a dance-like combo on a target.
Haldir is a veteran fighter of Lothlorien. He has lived through battle and has become Captain of Mirkwood's fighting force.
"Humans breathe so loud, we could shoot them in the dark." He said, his voice a little more prideful than Legolas', "He'll die before he even gets close."
Mirkwood Elves were native to two legendary forests of Middle Earth, where they lived at one with nature. The forces of evil, however, would not leave them alone and got a nasty surprise by attacking them.
"Orcs would often come into our woods to try and take our resources." Haldir explained, "But it is thanks to the trees and coverage that give us our advantage. We'll take you down with arrows or carve you with our blades."
Elves are also brilliant tacticians: analyzing any aspect before making the logical choice. And the weapon for their precision-based style…
The Falchion: A curved, slashing short sword that is swift, silent, and deadly.
Falchion:
Size: 2.5ft
Weight: 3lbs
Substance: Elvish steel
"This is an elf's traditional weapon." Haldir explained, "The sword is better than any man's blade because they need room to move. With this, I'm able to get in close and still deal a deathblow."
But Narnians also bring their own blade, one they say packs more punch.
The Broadsword: Narnia's finest blade made to smash and hack the enemy to pieces.
Broadsword:
Size: 3-4ft
Weight: 4lbs
Substance: Carbon Steel
"We know we're fighting armored enemies, so that's why we pack this weapon." Ryan pointed out, "It's heavy AND it's sharp. Whether it's plate or chain, this'll get through it."
To test both these warriors' lethal blades, our team has set up a target for each one: a hundred and twenty-pound pig.
First up is the Mirkwood Elf with the Falchion sword.
"So, Haldir, here's the deal." TL explained, "This pig is going to fly at you from the rafters and you'll take a good hack at it."
"A bit barbaric, in my eye." Haldir stated, "But if that's what you desire, so be it."
Haldir unsheathed his sword, then readied himself as Ray pulled the pig back a bit.
"Three, two, one, release it!" TL called, quickly.
Ray released the pig and it came flying at Haldir like an oncoming enemy. Haldir waited for it to get in close, then pulled back his sword and slammed the curved, one-handed blade into the pig. A huge gash was put into it until the pig was only held together by a few ligaments.
Now, it's Narnia's turn to deliver a kill with their blade…
Peter took out a broadsword as the team reeled back another pig. He took a practice swing, then nodded.
"Three! Two! One! RELEASE!"
TL gave the pig a good push and it came rolling down the rail, right at Peter. He took a small step to the side, then rammed the broadsword into it. THIS time, the sword cut the pig clean in half with that one stroke.
"From both these cuts," Ray said, going over both carcasses, "Both are able to step out of the way and gut their enemy, able to cleave through the spines of an oncoming foe and probably cut through their ribs and organs, too."
Both swords are genuinely lethal, but what other factors are there?
"Well, it's a nice sword you elves have made, but if it's a slashing weapon, I guarantee it won't prove that much of an asset." Ryan said, then tugged at the sleeve of a mail shirt, "You'll have a hard time cutting through this."
"Is that a challenge?" Haldir asked.
Feeling confident, our team prepares another test: time to test the blades of these two warriors against each other's armor.
Peter and Ryan raised a brow at a peculiar sight. A pair of ballistics gel torsos clad in chain mail. One torso, however, had a helmet, and a set of arms covered in armor plate.
Because of their forest territory, Mirkwood chain mail is light, but effective.
"This is all you've got under those fancy robes?" Ryan asked with a laugh.
"Mirkwood chain mail is an effective piece of armor." Legolas explained to the experts, all the while completely ignoring the Narnian experts, "It's light enough to allow us to move swiftly and efficiently, but effective enough to protect us from the blades of our enemies."
Narnians also wore chain mail, but they also wore plate armor to protect their arms, legs, and faces.
"He must go through so much labor dragging all that armor around." Haldir said, looking over the armor, "I could simply step to the left and I'm out of his line of vision."
"Well, here's what you're going to try and do to each other." TL explained, "Use your sword and try to get through each other's armor."
"I wouldn't have it any other way." Ryan said with a nod.
First up, Team Mirkwood will try to attack a Narnian Knight with a full set of armor.
Haldir took the falchion in hand, then swung it at the gel torso. The sword hit the shoulder armor, then slid off at an angle down the chest. The blade didn't even cut the mail for simply being too light.
"Just as I thought." Peter said, looking over the damage, "You talked about a light blade a little too much, but you couldn't back yourself up."
"But if an initial slash didn't work, we'd simply get behind you, then hamstring you before slitting your throat." Haldir countered.
Mirkwood defends, but Narnia isn't buying. It's now their turn with the broadsword.
King Peter stepped up to the Mirkwood dummy, clad only in a mail shirt. Peter readied himself before lunging forward and slamming his sword into the dummy's shoulder. The entire dummy bent with the blade, then sprang back into place.
"Well, for starters, that was an impressive strike and an intelligent one at that." Ray said, then took off the shirt and looked it over, "At first glance, this wouldn't seem deadly because the skin isn't broken."
The dummy's skin is unbroken, but as for its collarbone…
"It's almost completely cut in half." Ray finished, moving the collarbone around, "This guy can't use his left arm anymore."
"The falchion didn't hurt the Narnian with all that armor, but with so little armor and going against such a heavy blade, the Mirkwood doesn't stand a chance against such a crippling blow." Lunatic stated.
The point for short-range weapons goes to Narnia's mighty king.
But now that the gloves are off, both teams pit their nasty polearms against each other.
Ryan Huffman pulled up a long spear, then thrust it forward with a grunt.
The Spear: a simple, lethal, and versatile tool of death.
Spear:
Size: 6ft
Weight: 5lbs
Substance: Iron tip, wood handle
Narnian Kings were trained to use these weapons for various purposes. The shaft could block, push, and bunt the enemy, the spearhead could thrust and slash, and the weapon could even be thrown from a distance or even be used from horseback.
"This was a good weapon to have in a battle." Ryan said, holding out the long weapon, "I can keep you at a distance with this weapon with a mere thrust alone. If I extend the weapon to its full length, there's no way a little elf will want to get that close to me."
"Well, if you can dish things out with that thing, we've got just the setting for you waitin' outside." Lunatic said, packing away a computer.
For a fresh, new test, our team moves out into the open where targets are awaiting.
First up, a simple thrust.
Ryan went up to the first dummy, then pulled back his spear and jammed it as hard as he could into it. The spear completely impaled the dummy, even exiting out the back.
Next, Ryan will demonstrate a spear throw with the same weapon.
After Ryan had gotten his spear back, he looked at the further target, then took careful aim before throwing the spear like a javelin. Said projectile whistled through the air before embedding itself in the dummy, the point of the spearhead sticking out the target's back.
Finally, Ryan pulls a move never before seen on this show: he tries the spear out on horseback.
Now, Ryan was ready for the next target. Riding atop a chocolate-brown steed, he gave his mount the go and galloped for the target. On getting within range, he thrust out with his spear, and his weapon went almost halfway through the target.
"There are so many things I could talk about, damage-wise, but that spear is going through vital organs, the spine, and the blood would be pouring everywhere." Ray said, waggling the horseback spear.
"So, anywhere that thing hits is a kill shot?" Lunatic asked.
"That or an immobilizing blow due to the amount of muscle damage it will cause." Ray corrected.
"There is a slight problem with your weapon." Haldir pointed out, "And it's the fact that it's purely a thrusting weapon. If you miss with that thrust, an elf will easily get past it and land any kind of blow."
The spear is a lethal weapon, but the elves say they have something better.
Haldir pulled out a long polearm with a curved, smooth blade tipped with a backward-curving hook.
The Bill: four feet long, it can keep the enemy at bay or even dismount an enemy on horseback.
Bill:
Size: 4ft
Weight: 6lbs
Substance: Wood handle, steel blade
"The Bill is a far more adaptive weapon than a spear." Legolas said, showing off the weapon, "You can hook your enemy with the back end of the blade, slash them with the curved blade, and keep your enemy away with the sweeping motion."
To test the bill's killing power, the team sets up a gel torso the same density as human flesh and bone.
"Alright, Haldir, you ready?" TL called.
"Yes."
"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"
Haldir swung the blade of the bill at the dummy's torso, leaving a gaping wound in the blade's wake. He then turned it around to do a back-swing at the dummy's face, planting the hook end of the blade deep into the dummy's temple.
"The first strike is right here, scarring the ribcage, but after that comes the real damage." Ray said, pointing out the large gash, "This would have severed an artery and cut through the liver and lungs."
"What about that hook attack right there?" Lunatic asked.
"It's a kill shot. Duh?" Ray answered, "It not only gets into the braincase, it severs the temple's blood vessels, which are essential to keeping a human being alive."
"Well, it's a nice slash and a good headshot, but it's ridiculous." Peter said in disbelief before holding up a helmet, "You won't be doing any damage to us when we have a good metal helmet on."
So, which warrior's mid-range weapon gets the advantage?
"Spear versus Bill…it's a tough one." TL said, obviously torn, "Both were instant kill shots, but I have to give the edge to the Bill because it's more than a thrusting weapon. The spear can pretty much bring down whatever it hits, but its attack is predictable."
The edge, in mid-range weapons, goes to the Mirkwood Elf.
But our experts feel that their way of combat defines why they should win.
"How many people go into a war EXPECTING to die?" Peter asked, "Narnian warriors would gladly give their lives for their land, for their friends, and for Aslan."
"Mirkwood elves are seen, by humans, as someone proud or arrogant. That's not true." Legolas put out, "We know full-well that we could die in battle, so we think carefully and act quickly before we make our move."
Now, both warriors prepare to launch their long-range assault as bow meets bow.
The Narnian Standard Bow: not too short and not too long, it fires arrows at a range perfect for battle.
Standard Bow:
Size: 4ft
Weight: 3lbs
Substance: Maplewood with steel arrowheads
"This is a standard Narnian bow." Ryan said, everyone outside, "Its size is perfect for combat, in my opinion."
"So, what's the effective range of this weapon? How far out will you be before you fire?" Lunatic asked.
"From fifty feet, you can hit anything." Ryan answered.
At our range, Ryan is given three moving targets and nine arrows. His goal: hit all the targets with these nine arrows alone.
"Ready, Ry?" TL asked.
"Yes, sir." Ryan answered, bow at the ready.
"GO!"
Ryan knocked his first arrow, then took careful aim at a moving target. A twitch of his fingers sent the arrow flying forward, hitting the target just inches from the center. He pulled back a second one and fired again, but he had hesitated and it hit the target's left side. Moving on to a different target, he strung another arrow and fired, this one hitting more accurately.
After a few more strings of the bow, Ryan nodded in satisfaction. "That good enough for ya?"
"I'll say so, Ry." Ray said, inspecting the targets, "You hit several of these targets, almost dead-on at that. But I noticed that, on one target, you went a little too off-center. So, that guy could still fight back."
"Our shots wouldn't have been off." Haldir stated, "We could get better shooting on a moving target if we were moving away from them. And to make things better, we'll be farther away, too."
Mirkwood answers Narnia's archery with the Elvish Longbow: its great length adds more distance to its fired arrows.
Elvish Longbow:
Size: 5ft
Weight: 6lbs
Substance: Elvish wood and rope, steel arrowheads
"Wow, that's considerably larger than the Narnian bow." Ray said as Legolas showed him the bow, "What's the effective range of this thing?"
"About seventy feet for an accurate shot." Legolas answered, "But an elf can shoot a hundred feet with minimal training."
Legolas is put to the test with two challenges. First up, he will fire an arrow from on foot, aiming for a single target at ninety feet.
Legolas pulled back his arrow, then let it fly. The arrow soared through the air like a bird before coming down and hitting the target dead-on. Legolas had not missed the bullseye by a centimeter.
Next, Legolas is put on horseback to shoot three moving targets and is given nine arrows to do the job.
"Ready, Legolas?" TL called.
"I'm ready." Legolas answered from atop a white steed.
"Three…two…one…GO!"
Legolas gave his horse a good kick with his heels and the mount galloped forward. Legolas strung an arrow, then aimed at the first target and fired. The arrow almost hit the bullseye, and the fact that Legolas was moving AWAY from the targets made it even more impressive.
Legolas circled around, then nailed the second target with another arrow from his longbow. In no time at all, and even faster than the Narnians, he had landed all his arrows in a target: three in each one.
"Nice handiwork here, Legolas." TL said, "You've got accuracy and range on your side, and you're moving away from your target yet still able to hit your target."
After testing each other's mettle on archery, which warrior gets the advantage?
"Narnian Standard Bow vs. Elvish Long Bow: this is a tough one. The Narnians have a bow they're able to load and fire quickly, but the Elvish bow could strike from almost double the range of the Narnians and they were able to hit from afar or on the move. Edge to the Mirkwood Elf this time.
The Elvish Long Bow gives the Mirkwood Elf the edge in long-range weapons.
But Team Narnia is ready to show off its most devastating weapon yet, and the elves will counter with a close-quarter weapon that could put Narnia's armor down.
In a clash between Narnian King and Mirkwood Elf, only one can emerge victorious. But who will remain standing? Who will lie dead on the ground?
"Mirkwood Elves take a little TOO long to think things out." Ryan put out, "By the time they CAN think straight, we'll be in their face and cutting them to pieces."
"Mirkwood Elves have been living for hundreds, maybe even thousands, of years. And how long do humans last in Narnia? Seventy? Eighty?" Haldir asked.
So far, Mirkwood has a problem. In close-range, their blade didn't cut through the Narnian's armor. But now they claim to have a weapon that can; one that's hard to make and one that elves carry with them wherever they go.
The Elvish Dagger: forged from metals that were enhanced by elvish magic, it's armor's worst nightmare.
Elvish Dagger:
Size: 10in
Weight: 1lb
Substance: Elvish steel
"This dagger, in the hands of an elf, is one of the most dangerous weapons around." Legolas put out, "It's made of stronger metals than those used to make armor and your average sword."
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is, pointy-ears?" Ryan asked, "I don't want a simple dagger wound. I want to see you go through our armor, only THEN will it be a realistic test."
Wanting to prove their point, Team Mirkwood is given a gel torso with a chest plate worthy of Narnia. Can the dagger pierce the armor and kill the man wearing it?
Legolas approached the chestplate, then took a practice on how he would try to attack his armored target.
"Ready, Legolas?" TL called.
"Yes."
"Three! Two! One! GO!"
Legolas darted in, then slammed the dagger's point into the chest plate. The elvish metal pierced the steel chestplate like a pencil through paper.
"Wow…" Lunatic said in amazement, "You pierced his armor."
The dagger pierces the armor, but was it a kill shot?
Legolas removed the dagger to find that the tip of his blade had artificial blood dyeing it red.
Taking off the chest plate, Ray noticed a small, but very noticeable hole in the dummy's front.
"So, this blade pierced the armor and went in about two inches. That's enough to cause severe bleeding." Ray stated, "It's not an instant kill shot, but it'd definitely be a crippling blow."
"You hear that, elves?" Ryan asked, "We're still alive and ready to take your legs out from under you."
"Then we'll just take better aim and take out your heart." Haldir corrected.
Team Narnia, however, is ready to unleash their deadliest weapon yet.
"This oughta knock 'em on their seats." Ryan said, holding up a heavy-looking bludgeoning weapon, then chuckled evilly.
Narnia answers the call with the Mace: a four-foot pole topped with an iron ball laden with iron spikes.
Mace:
Size: 4ft
Weight: 12lbs
Substance: Wood, iron head
"THIS is the deadliest close-range weapon in our arsenal." Peter explained, handing Lunatic the mace.
"WHOA!" Lunatic said, laughing, "That's heavy stuff."
"It's basically a wrecking ball that you hold in your hand." Ryan explained, "This will crunch armor, bones, and even shields."
To test the mace's destructive power, Ryan takes aim at a realistic target: a ballistics gel torso topped with a Mirkwood helmet.
Ryan stepped up to the bat (which was just in front of his target, then pulled back the mace.
"Ready, Ry?" Ray asked.
"Yessir."
"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"
With a roar, Ryan raised the mace over his head, then slammed it down on the dummy's helmeted head. With a resounding CLANG, the dummy lurched backward and, much to everyone's surprise, stayed at an odd angle.
The damage is DEVASTATING.
"There are SO many things I could point out about this strike, but that one strike alone dented this elvish helmet, pierced it in several places thanks to those spikes, and broke this guy's neck in one go." Ray said, analyzing the odd angle the neck was at, "And it certainly hit the skull pretty hard."
"So, if this thing hits an arm or leg, it's gonna break. Head or neck, then you're a dead man." Lunatic summed up.
"Y'know what? Ditch the knife. I'm going all mace on this one.
The mace gives the special edge to the Narnian King.
With our battle data gathered and our testing complete, it's time to see who is the Deadliest Warrior.
"Bring your best, Narnians." Haldir challenged, "You'll need it."
"Neither of us will give an INCH." Ryan confirmed, "This will be the most impressive battles this show has ever seen."
With our battle data, it's time to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior.
A courageous and adamant Narnian King vs. a tactical, accurate Mirkwood Elf.
We tested four weapons of Narnia's ruler: the Broadsword, Spear, Standard Bow, and Mace.
We also tested four Elvish weapons: the Falchion sword, Bill, Elvish Longbow, and Elvish Dagger.
In close-range weapons, the Narnian's broadsword hacked past the Mirkwood's falchion.
"The falchion is a fast and efficient sword, but it failed to cut through chain mail or plate. The broadsword will carve into you even if you're wearing chain mail as the elf is."
Edge: Narnian King
In mid-range weapons, our experts had to choose between the Narnian Spear and the Mirkwood Bill.
"I'm giving the edge to the bill. The spear will definitely take down whatever it hits, but it's a one-dimensional weapon. The bill is multi-functional and it will take a rider off his horse, so that's more power to the elf."
Edge: Mirkwood Elf
In long-range weapons, both Narnian and Mirkwood proved their might with a bow and arrow.
"Narnian bows are quick on the draw and easy to fire, but the Mirkwood Longbow can shoot farther and with more accuracy. I'm giving the edge to the latter of the two."
Edge: Mirkwood Elf
And for special weapons, the Narnian mace went up against the Elvish dagger.
"The dagger did something I didn't expect: it broke through the Narnian King's armor. But the mace is one-hit-one-guy-down. I'm giving it to the mace."
Edge: Narnian King
To prevent the battle from being won by a lucky shot, Lunatic runs the battle a thousand times.
It will be a battle of opposites…
Bravery…
(A Narnian King gets in front of an injured ally before slaying a minotaur.)
Versus Intellect
(A Mirkwood Elf takes a knife before throwing it at an orc, lodging the blade in its throat.)
Adamant…
(A Narnian King puts a shield up, letting a goblin slam into him, before gutting him with a sword.)
Versus Lightning-Fast
(A Mirkwood Elf slays an orc, then spins around to slash down another one.)
Lunatic typed a key on his board and the battle began.
-the fight—
The sound of hooves filled the air as two horses came to a clearing. A white steed carried a blonde elf warrior while a black one carried an armored, crimson-wearing knight of Narnian Royalty.
The Narnian was rather young, possibly mid-twenties, and he lowered his visor before taking up a spear. He kicked his horse's sides and he was galloping forward.
The Elf mirrored his enemy, sending his white steed galloping towards his opponent. Unlike his opponent, though, he didn't have a spear on him. Instead, he had his trusted bow.
At thirty yards, both made a move. The Narnian pulled back his spear before throwing it at his horseback-riding enemy. The spear narrowly missed his enemy, but the elf pulled back an arrow before firing at his enemy.
Direct hit.
The arrow had hit the king right in his right side. It wasn't serious, but it was certainly sudden enough to knock him off his mount.
The Narnian groaned as he slowly got to his feet, then took out the arrow. Reaching back, he pulled out his own bow and arrow, strung a projectile, then waited. As soon as his enemy was in range, he took aim.
The elf fired another arrow, but the king saw this coming and sidestepped it before firing his own arrow. The arrow missed the elf, but it wasn't aiming for the rider.
It was aimed at his horse.
The horse was down in an instant, an arrow in its throat, and it took the Mirkwood Elf with it. The elf grunted as he freed himself from his mount and got to his feet, taking a bill from his dead mount's side.
There to meet him was a charging Narnian. Acting fast, the elf took up his bill and countered his charging enemy's roar with a cold look. The Narnian had a mace in hand and looked just about ready to smash his enemy in two.
The elf sidestepped the first swing from the Narnian's mace, then took a thrust with his bill. The Narnian also sidestepped the attack and took another swing, but the Mirkwood hooked it in mid-swing and maneuvered it away, causing it to slam into the ground. The return swing caught the king with the hooked end of the blade, piercing the chain mail beneath his scarlet, lion symbol robe.
The Narnian King momentarily retreated a bit, and thought of a handy trick. The Mirkwood took a swing at him, intent on putting another hole in the king, but the Narnian was ready this time. He pulled back his mace before slamming it into the elf's blade. The sheer force not only threw the blade off-course, it splintered the bill's shaft.
The elf flew to the side at the sheer force of his breaking weapon, landing on the ground with an audible thud. The Narnian was hot on his heels, though, mace raised for a strike that would have turned the elf's face inside-out.
The elf rolled at the last second, however, and the mace only struck the soil. Reaching to his belt, the elf pulled out a dagger and jammed it into the Narnian's armored calf, piercing the plate completely.
The Narnian King roared in pain and the elf reached out with its legs to kick his enemy away. The King dropped his mace as the Elf rolled back to his feet.
The Elf and Narnian decided there and then to get down and dirty. Both unsheathed their signature blades: the Narnian's broadsword and the Mirkwood's falchion.
The Narnian roared as he charged in, headlong, and swung his sword as hard as he could at the Mirkwood. The elf blocked, then took a strike at his own only to meet the Narnian's own signature blade.
The two clashed steel, each hit coming dangerously close to catching the other's owner. The Narnian brought his blade slamming into the elf's before pushing his lighter enemy backward.
The elf ducked away from the Narnian's swipe, then slashed at his chest. The falchion tore through the Narnian's robe, but the chainmail saved the king from what would have been a fatal strike.
The Narnian looked at his robe, then at his enemy. In his eyes, he had just violated the image of Aslan the great lion. And right there and then, he was about to pass his own judgment.
The Narnian King roared again as he swung his sword, only to meet a sharp parry. The elf maneuvered the sword away, then slammed his falchion onto the king's helmet, putting a sizeable dent in it.
The king stumbled back, then thought of one thing. If it failed, it would cost him EVERYTHING.
The king clashed swords with his enemy, then pushed him backward again.
If this didn't work…
The elf, having apparently learned his lesson from last time, shifted his weight and the king seemed to uncomfortably lose his forward-going momentum. The elf raised his sword, ready to hack the king in his back.
But the king turned to meet him, roared, and brought his sword in a sideways sweep that connected with the elf's knee.
The elf howled in pain as the broadsword almost amputated his leg. The Mirkwood dropped his sword, then fell to the ground, clutching his leg.
The Narnian stood over his agonized enemy, then held his sword point-down and impaled his enemy. The broadsword easily pierced the chain mail that the elf had relied on, and the elvish warrior coughed up blood from ruptured organs before going as limp as a rag.
The Narnian removed his blade, cleaned it on the grass, then raised his blade in the air and shouting two words.
"FOR ASLAN!"
-end-
Winner: Narnian King
"The Narnian won because he had better armor and weapons designed to take out armored enemies." Lunatic explained, "The Elves were really more used to taking out less-armored enemies and didn't have enough protection to save them from the brutal weapons of the king."
But it was close: out of a thousand battles, the Narnian won five hundred and twenty-four times.
Narnian kills…
Broadsword: 195
Spear: 80
Standard Bow: 69
Mace: 180
All-in-all Kills: 524
The elves weren't far behind with four-hundred seventy-six kills. Their deadliest weapon was their longbow, but it wasn't enough.
Mirkwood kills…
Falchion: 97
Bill: 161
Longbow: 197
Elvish Dagger: 21
All-in-all Kills: 476
"Superior weapons, superior armor, and the tactics of the ultimate cramming lessons: the best man won." Ray went on.
"I had to admit that I was kind of worried for the Narnian. But after seeing their arsenals, the Elves really were more used to taking their enemies out from a distance." TL said, "Once the Narnians closed the distance, which they possibly could do, it was their game all the way. Way to go, Narnia."
"Perhaps a rematch is in order?" Haldir suggested, "If you fought us in the woods of Lothlorien, it might have been a different outcome."
"I respect Mirkwood Elves." Ryan Huffman said, "But in terms of our loyalty and learning capabilities, we are the deadliest warriors."
(A Narnian King points his sword forward as he shouts, "NARNIA!")
With apologies to Lord of the Rings fans…
Next time:
State Alchemists: the lethal, gunslinging shocktroopers that brought an end to the Ishval Civil War.
Wutai Rebels: ragtag guerrilla warriors that fought against Shinra and aided the victory for the planet.
Stay tuned…