Chapter Nine

Christmas Day

A Jolly Malfoy (and somewhat Greengrass) Christmas

The look on everyone's face told me they didn't enjoy a Malfoy Christmas. Some of them even looked surprised that they were here (as if we didn't have Christmas here every year). Another year gone in this dungeon, another year where dad might have a bit too much to drink and mum would try her hardest to come up with something edible. Another year where my grandfather would lose his mind a little more and my grandmother would sit there, staring at him, as if he was some sort of animal. Another Christmas where Lee would sit here laughing at everyone and I would also sit here wondering what exactly made me related to these people.

Mum and Grandmother had tried their hardest to try and rid this place of the darkness that was why we didn't live here at the Manor, the darkness couldn't be ripped out of the place regardless of how many flowers mum put on the table or how many walls she painted yellow. I hated it here. We all hated it here. Sometimes when we stayed we could hear my dad screaming in the night, Lee would always say she was used to it, but it wasn't normal trying to get used to hearing your dad screaming.

Mum tried to keep as much normality as possible this Christmas and that's why Lee, our cousins Tori and Liam and I were banished into the lounge room, just like we always were at Christmas.

Tori was named after my mum, she even looked like my mum. She had long brown hair and bright green eyes that were slanted – feline like almost – but when she opened her mouth, she wasn't my mum at all. She was more like her dad who we all refer to as 'Scott-The-Muggle' he was a cool uncle who knew a lot about cars.

My cousin Liam, well, he was a lot like his sister, there was nothing more to it than that.

Malfoy Manor had always been so cold through the Christmas snow, Lee would stare at it all day. She said it was as cold as her, the snow but you know she wasn't dramatic at all.

We were all spread out in the lounge room, Tori and Liam on one couch to one side and Lee and I on another. It was like we were kids again. Thinking like we were kids again made things a little easier; especially as my parents found great joy in pretending nothing had changed.

"You really are awkward aren't you Scor?" Tori says sniggering at me.

Lee laughs. "Of course he fucking is, he's fifteen!"

Liam this time laughs at Lee. "You're only a year older than him, since when did sixteen make you so wise?"

Lesath doesn't take this too kindly and her eyes turn to slits. "I'm seventeen!" she corrects him, "And Scor is going to be sixteen next month, besides, I could say the same about you oh great eighteen year old but I don't even think another twenty years on top is going to make you any better. Or smarter."

"Oooh!" Tori says, "That must have hurt!"

"Ok, this is great, you know, the whole family-bonding session but would you all shut up?" I snap.

Tori pretends to be offended. "I'm trying to help you!" she whines. "It's like I'm a big sister trying to give relationship advice!"

"Hello? I am your actual brother, you never gave me relationship advice!" says Liam.

Tori rolls her eyes. "You don't need any relationship advice that goes any further than trying to put your dick in something because you've never been in a real relationship!"

Liam looks genuinely pissed by this. "Maybe if you gave more advice I would be in an actual relationship..."

"Oh don't look so hurt, baby brother."

Lee pats me on the back. "Don't look so depressed. People would love to be in your situation, it's all part of growing up, isn't it?"

What part exactly? Already having a girlfriend? Or liking your best friend?

"Hmmm," is all I manage to say.

I had become a real awkward person. More awkward than before. A person who dreams about Rose Granger-Weasley all the time and then gets all suspicious when I meet up with Zoe. At one point I couldn't even decide what was worse, dreaming about Rose or the fact that my mum was moving out.

"And what do you know about growing up when you're only like, two months older than your brother?" Tori says grinning at Lee.

"I'm not two months older than him!" Lee argues.

"So let me get this straight," Tori starts trying to ignore Lee's glare. "You have a girlfriend but you kissed Rose on the cheek? Well, there's nothing wrong with a little peck between friends!"

Oh, that makes me feel a lot better, thank you dear cousin. I wanted to say there was more to it than just a kiss but I didn't want to look like a loser. "I know."

Liam throws his hand up. "I don't know why you're so wound up about it. Most guys would love to be in your shoes! A chick in the sheets and one on the mind, your blessed! Blessed. Say it with me now, bless-" Tori cuts in.

"Blessed is waking up and knowing the person you're waking up next to, but you wouldn't have those moments often, would you Liam?"

I didn't think I was blessed, shit, the more I think about it the worse it gets. Zoe was irritating me, Rose really fucking irritated me, and then I walked out of the Astronomy Tower before Rose could catch up because I am so fucking awkward like that these days.

Lee frowns at me. "I thought you were over Rose?"

Tori shakes her head. "Please, try and be more supportive of your brother!" she says jokingly. "And no one is ever over a Weasley, look at Dominique Weasley..." Yeah, just my luck my lesbian cousin had an interest in Rose's cousin. Mind you, who didn't have an interest in Dom Weasley?

"Wait, isn't Rose the one that you said you all but wanted to marry, last year? You know, cottage, dogs, kids..." Liam trials off.

"I didn't say I wanted to marry her!" I snap a little too quickly and they all look at me like sure...

"You couldn't marry her because last year he would have been like," Tori thinks about it. "Fourteen!"

"I didn't say he was actually going to marry her last year," Liam argues back.

"He isn't going to marry anyone so I don't know why you're even arguing about it," Lesath says.

Thank Merlin for my sister, the voice of reason!

"This story isn't sounding as great as it did in my mind because I just realised that you don't have either of them in your bed so..." Liam says.

I chuck a cushion at him. "I'm only fifteen!" I say loudly. "I don't have anyone in the bed."

Lesath looks disgusted at me. "Don't ever say that out loud again, you sound like a priss."

"Don't ask us for advice if you don't want to hear it," Liam says with a shrug.

How the hell am I related to these people? In the next life I want to come back as a Potter. "I didn't ask you guys for advice!" I hiss.

"I'll be the wise one here," Tori starts and I try and hold back a snort. "Decide which one you like the most and then go for it, there is nothing worse than being with someone you don't love."

"Hey, that's good advice!" Lee says.

Tori smiles. "I know, it's not just my body that gets the guys going... Twenty two years old and wiser for it. Anyway, we all know he's going to end up with Weasley, I feel it in my bone!"

I groan. "It's Granger-Weasley."

I was glad that Christmas hadn't dragged on too long. Liam and Tori left after Christmas lunch before they got too drunk and then their dad would have had to drive them home and mum plastered her fake smile on all afternoon, I was surprised it lasted that long and it didn't slide off and end up in her glass of wine. It was just us in the end and we decided to stay the night here at the Manor before heading back to our house in Ireland, I wasn't sure if dad was going to come, I don't think I care.

Lee looks up from her Witch Weekly and stares at dad. "Are we going to sit here in silence? Or are we going to address the Hippogriff in the room?"

I choke on my drink when Lee says this and I hear swearing coming from the kitchen where mum was and lot of rummaging through the drawers, maybe mum was going to get her wand out and Hex dad.

Dad looks down at the table as if it is the most fascinating thing he has ever seen. "I don't like Hippogriffs much..."

I glare at Lee and then I glare at dad. A messed up Christmas boils down to dad not particularly liking Hippogriffs and his offhand remarks on mum's flowers are supposed to make everything ok? Mum was trying her best to make everything as normal as possible but the fact she was trying to stir three different pots by hand made me realise things were not as fine as she wanted them to be.

I had enough of sitting here under the gaze of Lesath Aubrey Malfoy and decide to better occupy my time, because no matter how much I try to steer my thoughts elsewhere, this was never going to be the same. "Just going outside," I say to dad.

"It's cold out there!" he calls after me.

I had always hated this place. Dad always said he wanted to move to Ireland to be closer to mum's family but I know he hated this place just as much as I did. Malfoy Manor was nothing more than a dungeon of bad memories. Even now looking out across the grounds it just reminds me of when Lee and I used to go out to the tree line and dad would scream at us to get back, he hated those trees. Dad hated when we would go down near the actual, literal dungeons too – so he boarded up the lower floor of the Manor even though we never lived here. Dad hated us coming here.

I look back though and I guess he hated us being anywhere near the bad memories, in a way he was a protective dad – he always had been.

As I take a drag of my ciggie I hear the back door shut. I don't look back, I can tell the weight of those footsteps coming up behind me. "Son," he says.

I don't want to look at him, even when he grabs my shoulder I try not to look. It was like looking into a very disappointing mirror image of what I was going to be when I was older. I used to love that I wanted to be like my dad, but now all I see is the guy who used to be my hero who was not a hero at all.

I can feel dad watching me, out of the corner of my eye I can see he is hurt, I hope that Lee said something to him when I left the room that had pissed him off, knowing her, she would have. "Since when did you smoke?" he asks me.

I don't really care that he might find this rude or even disrespectful; he had lost a lot of my respect when he told us about Vera, oh that's right, he didn't have the balls to tell us about Vera, mum did. So there wasn't much respect left to work with anyway. "Since I started stealing them from you."

Dad frowns and grabs onto my shoulder. "I don't like that," he says seriously.

"We can't all do things that keep others happy, can we?" I snap back.

Dad let's go and nods, he grabs out a smoke from his own pocket.

"I see..."

It was now or never, wasn't it? Dad always said I should be a better man than he was, that was becoming easier than I had anticipated. "Why?" I ask him, looking at him right in the eyes.

Dad looks broken, he was defeated. He had lost me, I know it. I could feel it. "I don't know, son, it was a mistake."

"A mistake is buying the wrong brand of bread, dad. This wasn't a mistake."

Dad swallows loudly. "I've apologised, there is nothing I want more than for things to go back to how things were. You, your mum, your sister. I just want things to go back to normal."

Somewhere in me it felt like I was the dad. My father is practically begging for guidance. I missed my dad so much; I couldn't stand things being like this. My dad was the one I turned to. "I know."

Dad shakes his head and takes a drag of his smoke. "Fuck, Scor. We shouldn't be talking about this, your mother and I will sort it. There's better things out there to be worried about. How's school?"

How was school? School was hard and Rose was harder. Trying to decipher Rose Granger-Weasley was harder than any subject I was taking, OWLs was the last thing on my mind most days. "Good, I guess."

"You guess? Still doing well in your subjects? I mean, of course you are," dad says with a small smile. "What about your girlfriend?"

It takes me a while to realise that dad had met Zoe and that she had been to our house. Dad looks genuinely interested in hearing all about Zoe, a lot more so than I felt about talking about her at the moment. "She's good."

Dad nods. "She's good huh?"

"Yeah..." is all I say and then I inhale again.

"You two, you know..."

Shit, no. this can't be happening! "Draco, are you trying to have the sex talk with me?"

Dad tries to seem like he is not so interested in this. "Well, you know... I assume you know the ins and outs..."

I snigger, now this is why I am so awkward all the fricken time. "Yes, I do know it involves a lot of moving in and out."

This time dad laughs at me and pats me on the back. "Shit son! don't be so crass!"

"What?" I say innocently. "You bought it up!"

"So you're blaming me now?" he says then he gives me a grin. "I just really don't want you to knock her up!"

I sigh. How much weirder could this conversation get. "Don't worry dad, I won't."

"Fuck." dad says, "I wish I was fifteen again."

I snigger. "No you don't"

"In this day and time I do," dad looks at me again though and can sense something was up. "What's wrong, son?"

There was so much going on in my world I didn't even know what wasn't wrong these days. "Nothing," I say.

Dad doesn't seem too convinced but decides to leave it. "That's enough with the bonding," he says. "Someone might think we actually care..."

"Hah!" I reply. "You made a joke!"

"Malfoy's are as funny as Hufflepuff's, don't you remember?"

Dad didn't come home with us the next day and Lee seemed to be angry at me for talking to dad. What she doesn't realise is that I've put up with her mood swings my entire life, it wasn't going to affect me as much as she pouted and forced it on me to do so.

Zoe had owled while I was gone, I came back to her letter sitting on my window and stupidly I thought of Al and Rose maybe they were wanting to meet up, but it wasn't from them. There was swirly writing all over the paper and I know Rose would think it stupid that Zoe would waste her time writing in such a girly way. I had owled Rose and was still waiting for her reply but knowing the Weasley's Christmas, I will be surprised if she had the time to reply.

"She's so beautiful," mum says in my ear. Zoe was sitting at the kitchen table with Lee. It was sort of weird, mum would always buy flowers and dad would comment on them and say how beautiful they were – just like mum – but here we were, watching Zoe at my kitchen table where the flowers she had bought with her sat. No one commented on them.

I keep quiet, not really knowing what to say so I keep stirring the bowl of cream mum pushed my way. "Mum, why don't you use your wand?"

Mum shushes me. "What's wrong with you?"

"Why do people keep asking me that?"

Mum 'hmmpfs', "We wouldn't have to ask if you were easier to read. Malfoy's..."

"You're one too," I say stupidly.

"Not for long," mum mumbles. "Is it her?" mum asks, flicking her head in Zoe's direction.

Yes, it was her. It was always her. Because things were getting harder when all I could think of was Rose and I go to sleep thinking of her and I think Zoe can read my mind when all I dream about it Rose.

"Yes," I say simply.

Mum frowns and grabs my wrist to pull me closer. "You two aren't doing things you shouldn't be doing are you?"

She looks me dead in the eye and a little part of me thinks if she keeps looking like this at me, I will die. "No!" I say quickly.

"She's not you know, leading you astray?" mum whispers.

Merlin, anyone would think that I was the bad kid; did she not know anything about her own daughter? She was the one who needed keeping an eye on.

"Why do you and dad think I know everything?"

"I don't want any accidents, Scorpius. And you Malfoy's aren't always so forthcoming with information when you fuck up."

"Mum," I warn. She had a tendency to do this, make it a Malfoy thing.

Mum sighs and pulls my arm so I can bend down and she kisses my cheek. "She is lovely though."

I just nod in reply. "Sure."

"Why are you being like this?" she snaps. "What's wrong?"

"I don't think I love her. I think I love someone else," I admit.

Mum looks at the bowl she's mixing. "You don't know anything about love. You're almost sixteen, you can't fall in love."

Hah, ironic considering mum was only sixteen when she met dad.

Zoe stands up and she is wearing a red dress – Gryffindor red, she didn't have anything Christmas red apparently. She smiles at me and it actually warms me, I missed how happy she is. But even then, she bought roses as her flowers, an interesting choice.

"Zoe!" mum calls while glaring at me. Mum was pissed by what I had said about Zoe obviously. I admit, it did make things a little uncomfortable. "How do you enjoy living here now?"

Zoe stands up grinning. "Great!" she says a little too enthusiastically, "We love it around here."

"That's really lovely, Zoe," Lee says sarcastically and now I give my sister a look that gives my mum's a run for its money.

"How is your sister's business going?" Mum asks.

Lee nods. "Yes, because there is a huge demand for all purple coloured ice cream."

Next time I got my sister alone I would have to do something about her not being able to hold her stupid tongue. She is of course though referring to Imogen's All Indigo Ice Cream in which every flavour is indigo coloured and was a stupid idea if ever I saw one.

Zoe smiles back at Lesath and something tells me she knew my sister was being a smart arse. "It's indigo," she corrects. "But Imogen is doing great, she loves business down Diagon Alley."

Mum continues her small talk with Zoe and part of me wonders why she even wanted to come here. She comments on our house, she says she loves the colour of my mum's hair, she loves Lesath's room and Lesath hates that she even went in there, she asks where my dad is which becomes a rather awkward silent topic. Lesath says she is going to bed and mum follows say she is going to watch TV but I have yet to even show her how to turn it on since dad has been gone.

Zoe doesn't seem to find my family's behaviour strange at all and it makes me wonder just how weird her family might be. I lie on the bed in my bedroom staring at my Slytherin Banner above my bed. Zoe seems more interested in looking at all the things in my room, touching my photos and flicking through my books, reading the letters I have pinned to my board from Al and Rose.

"I like your family," she says to me. "They're really nice."

I don't know whether this is a genuine comment or maybe she is taking the piss out of me but I don't have the energy to say anything to her so I say; "Thanks."

Zoe turns to look at me on the bed. "I wish you would meet mine," she says.

"Your what?" I say stupidly. I sure knew how to look like a complete idiot at times.

"My family, we might have time tomorrow?"

Sure, I would really like to see her family tomorrow as much as I would like to kick myself in the shins. "Maybe..."

Zoe seems as convinced with my answer as I am. "Well maybe in the summer," she replies.

I nod to myself. "Sure, in the summer," I say humouring her.

This seems to be a good answer because she smiles back. "You spent a lot of time together, didn't you?" she says quietly, fingering the photos on the mantle. This was probably not one of my better moves – having a photo of the girl your girlfriend doesn't talk to, out in the open.

"Well, you guys were best friends too, weren't you?" I ask.

Zoe sniggers. "Not so much best friends as in just friends. It's always been her and Belle."

"McKinnon is a git," I say trying to make her feel better. I really did suck at these feeling things, didn't I?

"Belle is so confident."

I think this is the part where I say something comforting to her. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Rose doesn't even know she's confident but she is..."

Rose didn't know much about anything to do with herself but yet she knew everything. "Rose is just Rose."

"Rose has a lot to do with you. I didn't realise. She used to always come in and talk about you and Albus back then," she says pointing a photo from our first year. Molly had taken it of us in front of the lake, we were laughing and waving and shortly after that I pushed Rose in the lake by accident, most of the time she never lets me live it down, saying I almost killed her.

"We were best friends," I say quietly.

Zoe comes over to my bed and puts a knee on the bed trying to balance. She leans forward and kisses me. "I like you a lot, Scorp," she says against my lips.

I feel her silky thigh and my hands move up further than they had before. She starts on my neck; her hands are running through my hair, my fingers cling on harder. This was it.

But the photo of Rose, Al and I next to my bed seemed so big, I was going to fall in it.

Scorp,

If you have the time, floo me tonight at 11, let me know

Rose

My mum had gone to bed and my sister, well, I didn't know where she was. It was ten-fifty-nine and I didn't know if Rose had received my Owl or not but I decided to get through anyway. I grabbed a handful of powder and chucked it at my feet.

I arrived at Rose's house in Godric's Hollow and tried my hardest not to make a mess of Hermione's carpet or make too much noise, lucky I was prepared because before I could even take a step out of the fireplace Rose was in my face and hisses; "Shush!"

I don't speak but it is a little alarming when someone who told you to visit attacks you before your eyes even have time to adjust to the lack of light in the room. I eye her but she shakes her head, knowing I was about to say something.

"Come," she whispers. "I don't want Teddy to hear you because he has a loud mouth!"

She was in her pyjamas and I could tell everyone must have been in bed too. Knowing Rose's Nanna, they were probably trying to sleep off the food hangover. I am truly jealous, mum's cooking wasn't the best...

I follow Rose up her stairs and into what I think must be her room. They had a big house with plenty of rooms.

I felt excited being here, like it was something I know I shouldn't be doing but if Rose needed me, I would be there for her. Even if I struggle to try and keep Tori's advice out of my mind or Zoe's face. It was easy when Rose's smile popped up in front of me. "I didn't think you would come!" she says excitedly. "I'm glad you did though because Christmas Eve sucks."

I roll my eyes. "I bet it doesn't suck," I say.

She shrugs; her long hair was tied up in a messy bun on top of her head. "Nah, it doesn't but I was bored."

"Ah, so you only want to know me if you're bored, eh?"

She chucks a pillow at me off her bed but pats the spot next to me. I was being invited to sit on Rose Granger-Weasley's bed and I am doing a fantastic job of not looking like a nut case. I was doing well.

I was so tired but I need to keep that out of my mind too, the last thing I needed at the moment was to fall asleep here and be at risk of being murdered but Merlin, when I sit down the bed is so comfortable! "So," I start. "What's going on?"

She moves a little away from me to give me space but I didn't want the space. I wanted her to be closer so I could explain to her just how me kissing her on the cheek was not supposed to be as much of a fuck up as it was. "Just wanted a bit of Christmas cheer."

I snort. "Christmas cheer? You do realise you're talking to the least cheery person in the world, right?"

She bumps her shoulder to mine. "You're practically Father Christmas!"

I was not having a conventional Christmas this year, in fact, being here right now was starting to look like the highlight. "Yeah, all jolly and shit I am."

"Ah! Just enjoy it or I will make you!"

I wanted to know exactly how she would make me, I really did. I could think of so many things that she could do to make me even a little bit jolly, but I didn't want to suggest anything or risk her holding a grudge against me again. My face flushes just thinking about it so I pull the hood of my jumper even higher over my head. "Did you get me a present?" I ask.

"I might go with Dom and Roxie to Diagon Alley and if there is something that screams Malfoy, I will consider it."

"Seems fair enough," I say with a nod. "I thought about buying something too. How does parchment sound?"

She shakes her head. "How very practical of you, Scorpius."

"I am a man of practicality," I say. "You know me, very prepared."

"I do know you. Better than anyone else."

I challenge her. "Better than Al knows me?"

"You don't see you lying on Al's bed at the moment, do you?"

She had a point. Al knows me but not in the same way. Al didn't know a lot about me or how shit my home life was at the moment. "There are things I can't tell Al."

We sit in silence for a while before Rose speaks again. "You're tired."

I was tired. I was so tired my eyes were burning but being in Rose's company was going to have to be enough to keep me going and I hope that soon she offers me a coffee.

"Why did you want me to come over? Is everything ok?" I ask.

She sighs, "Everything's fine, Malfoy. I just wanted to say Merry Christmas."

I laugh. "You could have written that in your letter," I tell her.

"I could have but then I wouldn't have you here now would I?"

That was a good enough answer for me, so I lie back on her bed, my head resting next to hers. Now I am wondering why it is so much easier to talk to her than trying to come up with conversation when Zoe was lying next to me in the same way.

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone for reviewing my story! It s very much appreciated.