Fourth Night Alone

A deep silence enveloped them. Nothing else seemed to exist, but it didn't last long. Hermione suddenly remembered just who it was she was hugging and why it was utterly wrong, and she practically jumped out of Draco's arms. Her eyes flickered to his and she saw his confusion and hurt. She had hurt him.

"What…?" Hermione stammered, unable to find the right words. "What in Merlin's cheese filled beard just happened?"

Draco blinked in surprise and he opened his mouth to speak, but no words left his silent lips.

"That was wrong, a mistake…" Hermione trailed off. Sure she had said the words, but as soon as they left her she knew she didn't mean them. Clearly something was wrong with her, right? She couldn't possibly be… falling in love with her archenemy?

While occupied by her own thoughts she didn't even notice that Draco left her alone. When she finally came out of her shell and saw that he was gone, panic hit her in the pit of her stomach. She had definitely hurt him!

Wandering aimlessly about in the library she searched for him. She didn't dare call his name, fearing that he'd just flee if he heard her approaching. Somehow she wanted to sort this out. She wanted to sort out her feelings for him. But more importantly she wanted to sort out his feelings for her.

An idea had been developing in her mind. In a way she had had it for a very long time – even before the imprisonment – she had just been denying it. Could it possibly be that Draco Malfoy had romantic feelings for her? She had had the thought before but always brushed it off. There was no way that that arrogant, Pureblood git could want her – she was the embodiment of everything he hated. She was a Muggleborn, she was smart, she was a Gryffindor, she talked back, Harry Potter was her best friend, she was better than him in many ways. No, she had always convinced herself that there was no way on Earth he could want her. But then again there was always something there. After the war he had changed, not radically since he was still a pain and he still argued with her all the time, but she had sensed a change in him during their arguments. He had seemed to enjoy them far more than he usually did. Not in a condescending way like he used to. When he smiled at one of her nasty comebacks his smile was pleasant, she had noticed. Usually he would be snarling but lately he had just been smiling at her, which of course only sparked her anger. And that again made him smile even wider. She had been wondering for a long time why he did that, but whenever her heart told her that he had feelings for her, her head dismissed the thought. It was logically possible. But now… she had genuine doubt. And a just cause for that doubt.

Finally she found him. He was sitting with his back pressed against the back wall of the library under where she knew the little, magical hatch to be. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him sitting there. His position was much like her own after she had heard him talking to his father. He had his arms wrapped around his knees and his forehead resting on his knees. But Hermione was surprised to see the utter defeat in his stance. His usually straight back was bended and he seemed to have given up on everything. Hermione had no clue what to do. The bottom line remained that she didn't even know this guy. She didn't know if he wanted to be consoled, by her or any other person. He struck her as one of those people that preferred to suffer in silence. But Hermione knew that she definitely wasn't one of those people that let others suffer like that.

With quiet, hesitant steps she walked to his side and gently crouched next to him. He didn't react to her intrusion, not before she placed a soothing hand on the back of his head. Without any warning at all his arms left his knees and went around her waist and he pressed his head against her chest and his body against her, making her drop to her bum. She was caught off guard by his sudden movement, and her initial response was to fight him off. But then she heard him sobbing and knew what this was all about. He had probably been on the brink of tears when she found him and the gentle gesture she had made, had finally made him crack. He now hugged her for comfort. Hermione's heart nearly broke when she wrapped one arm around his shoulders and placed the other hand on his head and pressed him against her. Dryly she noted the irony in their current situation – just a few minutes ago their places had been swapped.

When his sobs started quietening she pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head. She didn't know why she did it, she startled both herself and Draco. He freed himself from her embrace, and Hermione felt a sudden emptiness. She now knew why Draco had looked so funnily at her when she had done the same to him earlier. She looked questioningly at him and was surprised to see anger in his face.

"Was this also wrong?" he almost spat at her. Hermione snapped for breath and felt a surge of hurt go through her body. "Just another mistake?"

"No…" she started denying but Draco caught her off.

"I don't need your sympathy, Granger! You don't have to do me any favours at all!"

He rose and paced back and forth with hard, angry steps while gesticulation violently in the air around him. Hermione remained seated and watched him with scared eyes. His anger wasn't new to her, but after what she had just witnessed, his complete and utter surrender, she was surprised that this was actually the same man that she had just held close to her. And she suddenly remembered that this man also had orders to kill her. She didn't feel all that brave anymore. In fact she was scared out of her mind. She felt a tremble start in her body that she couldn't restrain. Draco didn't notice and kept on walking and talking halfway to himself and halfway to her.

"Merlin, I knew this was going to be hard and difficult but I didn't expect it to be like this. I actually thought you had some sort of clue before this all happened! Merlin, was I stupid?! You didn't know a thing and you still don't know. No matter how hard I try you don't get it at all. What am I doing wrong? Am I missing something? All I get from you is pity and believe me it's the last thing I want. This is impossible, I'm supposed to kill you not…"

He didn't finish his sentence, at that moment he saw Hermione sitting on the floor. She was pale white, shivering violently and gasping for breath. Draco's words died instantly.

"Hermione I'm sorry…" he whispered but she shook her head.

"Don't be," her voice was trembling just as much as her body. "It's the truth I guess. I don't know and you should kill me."

Draco was impressed. She was clearly very scared but still she remained brave and as defiant as ever.

"I won't kill you," Draco said and crouched in front of her. He winced when Hermione drew away from him. He felt tired and lost and closed his eyes. "Hermione, you have to believe me. I won't ever hurt you."

"How can I believe you?" she asked her voice more firm now. "You've hurt before, how can I know you won't do it again?"

He sighed and pondered her words. She was right, he knew and he had to accept it.

"I may have hurt you before, and I may very well do that again. I won't deny that. But I'm not a murderer." He stressed the last words. Slowly he reached forward as to not scare her. She didn't shy away this time but just flinched a little when his hand made contact with her white cheek. He slowly stroked it with his thumb and saw her posture become less tense. She started relaxing against his touch. Draco smiled. "You don't have to fear any physical harm from me. I know I've hurt you before, Hermione but you know that I've never laid a hand on you. And I won't. Not like that."

Hermione didn't know what to make of that last sentence. Not like that. Did he mean that he wanted to touch her? And then it suddenly dawned on her that he already was. That he already had. And she had liked it every time. When he had kissed her hand. When he had hugged her. When she had hugged him. And now when he was lovingly stroking her cheek. She tensed up again and Draco instantly dropped his hand from her face.

"I'm sorry," he whispered sincerely. Neither knew what exactly he was apologising for, but none the less Hermione's reply was, "I forgive you." And strangely enough she did – she forgave him for all the years of torture he had had put her through, she forgave him for tormenting herself and her friends, she even forgave him for locking her up in the school library and possibly wanting to kill her. None of that mattered to her now. The only thing she cared about was the look of relief on Draco's face when she said the words.

"I've never been forgiven before," he confessed in a hushed whisper. "I never expected you to be the first one to do that. Especially not after everything I've done to you and your friends."

She wanted to say that it wasn't his fault; that he had been brought up that way, but she simply couldn't do it. She knew she was still scared to anger him. It was a strange combination of emotions he invoked in her – fear and safety, rage and happiness. She didn't know what to do with either of those feelings. So to not say or do anything stupid she just settled for smile which Draco warmly returned.

He got to his feet again and held out a hand towards her. She took it and he helped her stand. He let go of her hand and instead wrapped his arm protectively around her slim waist.

"Please figure this out soon," he whispered forcefully while staring bluntly in her eyes. "You're killing me."

Hermione gulped and struggled to regain control of herself. How on earth could he be so darn sexy when he had only said so few words? A pure mystery… and nothing appealed more to Hermione than a mystery.

"I don't want to kill you," she whispered back. "I'll figure it out one way or another." She didn't dare voice the suspicion she already had. Before she did that she wanted more proof that her theory was right.

"Now," Draco said suddenly smiling widely and giddily. "Let's get some dinner. It's been a long and emotional day and I think I owe you some food."

Then he started walking to the kitchen, pulling her with him by the waist. Hermione didn't struggle. Strangely enough she had no desire to cringe away or remove his arm from her waist and his hand from her hip. She let them both remain where they were and silently followed Draco.

And then I finished another chapter. The story is slowly progressing now and I think you all have your own theories. By now you should know I think…

Please review and tell me ALL your thoughts… I don't care if you're thinking COOKIE or something else, just say it.