A/N: A crazy little something I whipped together as I was thinking of other 'Card Captor' titles. Enjoy!
BTW, there's a joke you won't get unless you read 'Card Captor Harry'.
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Card Captor Sasuke
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Disclaimer: I don't own CCS or Naruto, and by extension, Sasuke. If I did, Sasuke, Ino and Sakura would be a threesome, Naruto would notice Hinata, and Sas wouldn't go missing nin.
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Uchiha Sasuke stared at the little yellow-orange thing in front of him. If he didn't know better, he would have thought this was one of the dobe's pranks. A set-up like this to embarrass or make a fool out of him was exactly that idiot's style. However, he happened to know for a fact that the blond pain-of-his-existence-second-only-to-Itachi was currently in the hospital, recovering from a comment he had made about Sakura's… something. And he'd Sharingan-ed the thing, definitely not a henge, so he really didn't have much of a choice but to take the situation at face value.
"So," he said, crossing his arms, "you need my help to get these… Clow Cards back. Because if I don't, they'll wreak havoc and possibly destroy Konoha and maybe even the world, so that the legendary Kyuubi's attack would look like a little temper tantrum."
The creature, who said its name was Keroberos, nodded. "Exactly. The only hope would be the Card Captor putting the Cards back where they belong. And that guy is you."
"What do I get out of it?" Sasuke asked, face blank.
Kero blinked, scratching his head. "Um, well, if you catch the Clow Cards, you can use their power."
His eyebrow rose. Power? He was so there! "I'm in."
Itachi was in sooo much trouble…
Still, Sasuke made a mental note to never, ever, buy from that used books store again.
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"Have you noticed anything weird about Sasuke lately?" Naruto whispered to Sakura as they weeded a garden together, interrupting the kunoichi's muttering on the unfairness of a world that would make her play around in dirt while the love-of-her-life-and-ultimate-soul-mate was kept busy fixing a garage door, AWAY FROM HER!
Sakura gave the 'future Hokage' a look. "This isn't one of your crazy stories to trash Sasuke-kun by saying he still plays with dolls, is it?"
"I definitely saw him playing with a plushy, okay! Heck, he was even talking to it, for crying out loud!"
Sakura sniffed, pulling up a bundle of weeds with slightly more force than necessary. Damn Naruto and his lies about her Sasuke-kun! "What do you have now?"
"I'm pretty sure I saw him making out with a girl behind the Academy's swimming pool changing room."
Sakura froze, and Naruto for one brief moment thought that maybe this little bit of information would finally make her realize that Sasuke wasn't the guy for her, and that that guy was someone closer to home, maybe with cute blond hair…
That fantasy died a quick death as Sakura looked up, flames in her eyes. "DON'T YOU EVER MAKE UP THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT SASUKE AGAIN, OR I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE, GET IT!"
Kakashi ignored the sounds of impending violence as Naruto began backing away from a seriously PO-ed genin girl. Glancing out of the corner his eye to his left, he could just make out Sasuke halfway through repairing the broken garage door, being assisted by what looked like a Kage Bunshin. He supposed the boy had picked up Naruto's favorite technique somewhere along the line, and was using it to make his work easier.
The perverted jounin went back to his equally perverted book, which was about a sexually liberated ninja and his journey to become Hokage, accompanied by his genin teammates, a bisexual kunoichi and a nymphomanic bishounen, along with their gay jounin sensei. That Jiraiya was sick! Bless the man.
He didn't notice Sasuke's 'bunshin' give him a passionate French kiss before dissolving into a card…
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Chuunin Exam, in the Forest of Death…
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Orochimaru laughed evilly (is there any other way a villain could laugh?) as his prey struggle beneath him. Uchiha Sasuke was right in front of him. Soon, the power of the Sharingan would be hiss! Looking down at them, he laughed again. Aww, how cute. Sasuke was reaching for a pendant around his neck. So saccharine, for him to think about his girlfriend at a time like this.
The snake-boy drag-queen paused for a second. Didn't his info say the Uchiha kid was single?
Sasuke began to mutter under his breath. "Copy Wheel Key…"
Orochimaru began to lean down to listen to what he was saying, when suddenly huge waves of chakra began emanating from the boy. Such power! His informants hadn't told him about this. He made a mental note to kill them all when he got back to Otagakure.
"RELEASE!" Sasuke yelled.
The jutsu the Sannin had used on him and his friend broke as the pendant Sasuke had been holding in his hand changed shape, becoming a red wand topped with a red disk inscribed with the designed of a Sharingan. Okay, this was getting weird, even by ninja standards.
"POWER CARD!"
Yup, definitely weird.
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Sakura watched in amazement as Sasuke began to fight against Orochimaru one on one. She wasn't stupid, she'd heard enough descriptions of their villages most legendary class-S criminal to realize this was the guy.
Something rustled the bushes behind her. She half-turned, afraid it was another enemy. Her eyes widened at the person she saw. "You…?"
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The Yaoi option:
Sakura's jaw dropped as she saw Kakashi seemingly materialize out of the darkness of the forest. "Kakashi-sensei…?"
Kakashi ignored her, however. "Master Sasuke!"
"Yue?" Sasuke yelled, not taking his eyes off his opponent. Even with The Dash Card, The Power Card, The Shield Card and the Sharingan, he still had to be careful.
"Kakashi-sensei…?" Sakura repeated uncertainly. She did not just here Kakashi call Sasuke Master, did she?
"Later, Sakura," Kakashi said, waving her off.
Sakura was struck speechless as large white wings erupted from Kakashi's back, shielding him from view. When the wings parted again, a tall man wearing white robes, with floor-length white hair stood in his place. A Sharingan shone prominently in his left eye.
Sakura blinked. Wha…?
She watched as the two began to beat the snot out of the snake sannin. Shakily, she rose, walking towards them as they finally stopped moving, standing over Orochimaru's dead body. Before she could say anything, however…
"Oh, Master Sasuke, are you alright?" Yue said, taking Sasuke into his arms.
Sasuke laid his head against the taller being's chest. "I'm fine, Yue-kun. The Hearts of the Cards were with me."
"Master Sasuke, I was so worried…" Yue started to say, but shut up when Sasuke placed a finger on his lips.
"Shut up and kiss me," the Uchiha said.
Sakura fainted as Yue did exactly that…
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The Straight option:
Sakura's jaw dropped as she saw Ino seemingly materialize out of the darkness of the forest. "Ino-pig…?"
Ino ignored her, however. "Master Sasuke!"
Sakura raised an eyebrow. Master? Since when did Ino-pig call Sasuke 'Master'?
"Yue?" Sasuke yelled, not taking his eyes off his opponent. Even with The Dash Card, The Power Card, The Shield Card and the Sharingan, he still had to be careful.
"What the heck are you doing here, Ino-pig?" Sakura demanded.
"Later, Sakura," Ino said, waving her off.
Sakura was struck speechless as large white wings erupted from Ino's back, shielding her from view. When the wings parted again, a tall woman wearing white robes, with floor-length white hair stood in her place.
Sakura blinked. Wha…?
She watched as the two began to beat the snot out of the snake sannin. Shakily, she rose, walking towards them as they finally stopped moving, standing over Orochimaru's dead body. Before she could say anything, however…
"Oh, Master Sasuke, are you alright?" Yue said, taking Sasuke into her arms.
Sasuke laid his head against the taller being's chest. "I'm fine, Yue-koi. The Hearts of the Cards were with me."
"Master Sasuke, I was so worried…" Yue started to say, but shut up when Sasuke placed a finger on her lips.
"Shut up and kiss me," the Uchiha said.
Sakura screamed as Yue did exactly that…
With a growl, Ino/Yue broke off the kiss. "Do you mind? We're trying to have a romantic moment here!"
Sasuke directed an equally annoyed look at the pink-haired kunoichi. "Screw this exam. Let's fly back to my place, Ino."
"Yes, Master," Yue said in a sultry voice. "Do you want me to rub baby oil on you this time before we start?"
"Nah," Sasuke said as Yue/Ino lifted them up and through the tree cover. "I feel like taking a bath. You with me?"
"Hey!" Sakura yelled. "You're not going to leave me here, are you?"
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The WTF! option:
Sakura's jaw dropped as she saw a leaf-nin seemingly materialize out of the darkness of the forest. "Who…?"
The leaf-nin ignored her, however. "Master Sasuke!"
"Kabuto?"
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The Yaoi option 2:
Sakura's jaw dropped as she saw Naruto seemingly materialize out of the darkness of the forest. "Naruto-kun…?"
Naruto ignored her, however. "Master Sasuke!"
Sakura face-faulted. Since when did Naruto call Sasuke 'Master'?
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But what really happens is:
Sakura's jaw dropped as she saw Anko seemingly materialize out of the darkness of the forest. "Anko-san…?"
Anko ignored her, however. "Master Sasuke!"
You can just tell where this is going…
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- To be continued... NOT! DEFINITELY THE END!
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A/N: This is a one-shot. I will absolutely not continue. If any of you wanna use the concept for your own fic, that's fine by me! Just inform me so I can read it.
Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.