A/N: What up, what up? It's been quite a while, guys! I don't think I have an excuse this time around.
Also, fun fact: This chapter stems from a realization I had after rereading one of my favorite Undertales fanfics. A headcanon used in it is that Grillby had fought in the war between monsters and humans. I was thinking about this the other day when I realized that with this, there were some very interesting implications when you consider Grillby probably could have taken you out then and there.
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"Could I talk to you in the back for a moment?" Tiki Tong finally asked once Diddy had snapped out of his trance.
"Er, sure..."
Quite honetly, Diddy still didn't know what to think of the whole situation. It felt like this adventure had been going on for months, but it was probably a matter of days in actuality. Still, he felt tired, and he just wanted to get things moving. Tiki Tong had looked at him kindly as he led him into the back room, so he didn't feel he had to keep his guard up. He felt relaxed as he was led into an alcove, away from where any prying ears could hear.
"What did you need to talk to me about, sir?" Diddy asked, polite but nervous. He didn't feel threatened, despite the fact the mythical being in front of him could probably yeet him into next Tuesday.
"I don't mean to alarm you," Tiki Tong began, "but I know what you are."
Diddy's face fell and he immediately began to feel fear.
No no no no no no no no no... He'd been so careful... How had he known?!
"H-how did-?"
"My kind is known for an extraordinary sixth sense amongst other abilities. Likewise, I know you have no intention of harming anyone, and the townspeople, even the Royal Guardsmen stationed here, seem comfortable around you. You just want to get home don't you?"
Diddy was silent.
"You don't have to worry," Tiki Tong continued without prompt. "Your secret is safe with me. New Home is only a few days from here by the proper route. Normally I would advise using the Ferryman north of here, but she's... um... absent." He held the brief mental image of the Ferryman shouting something about the tails of ducks while scribbling something in a journal, but felt it was better gone unexplained. "So it appears your only route to the shield and the king is through Waterfell and Hotland, which means you'll have to be more wary from here on out."
"Is it because there may be guards ahead less easy to fool?" Diddy asked.
"Yes and no. Your main problem from here is likely... Kalypso."
Diddy looked thoughtful. He'd remembered Tiny blabbering on about Kalypso earlier. He'd figured the trainee really looked up to the captain, and while that was admirable, it was also terrifying. Kalypso, based on the other guardsmen he'd fought prior, would have to be of a rather high skill level to be the captain, and if Tiny was as strong as she was as a trainee... oooh, he could only imagine what going up against Kalypso would be like.
He very much hoped he would never have to find out.
"Thank you, Tiki Tong," Diddy finally managed. "For everything."
"It's no problem, child," Tiki Tong replied. "I've always opposed this rule, so I've happily helped any child I could tell had good intentions. Who knows? Maybe you could even convince the king none of this is worth it in the end."
The Tail didn't let him see the hopeless frown.