Ya know, 'cause one Mr. Wooden Alligator story just wasn't enough...

Fang: Well, it was, but not for Saint...

Another Profanity Warning: Just a little FYI for ya...

Mr. Wooden Alligator Returns

Fang was sitting quietly, reading a book on the floor in the hall, when suddenly, he heard something thump on the floor next to him. He looked to see, of all things, Jeb's severed arm sitting on the floor.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Fang exclaimed.

Mr. Wooden Alligator, who had brought him the arm, laughed. "I ate Jeb!"

Fang slammed his book down. "But he was mowing the front lawn! Why couldn't you just eat some grass?"

"For your information, bird-boy, I'M A FREAKING ALLIGATOR!!! I am not a blogger named Bird-Freak. I love the taste of meat, meat, meat!"

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Fang asked. "I could've flown to Burger King and gotten you a chicken sandwich! Heck, I could've even made you some chicken nuggets myself!"

The alligator laughed. "I think I'll pass on that!"

"What?!" Fang said. "You don't like my chicken nuggets?!"

"Hell no!" The allgator exclaimed. "I'm an alligator and all, but your chicken nuggets probably taste like a cow's butt!"

"THEY DO NOT TASTE LIKE A MOO-COW'S BUTT!"

"Ooo, look at me! I'm chicken nuggets!" The alligator said sarcastically. "But, for some odd reason, I taste like cattle butt!"

"Hush up! You don't even know!" Fang said. "You dip that hunk of meat in some barbeque sauce, you'll be dancing a crocodile happy dance!"

"Say what you want. I still ate Jeb!"

Fang was pissed. "I HATE YOU, MR. WOODEN ALLIGATOR!!"

"Why don't you just go sit in the car and cry about it, bird-boy?" The alligator said. "And while you're at it, go stick some butt nuggets in that mouth of yours! Yummy for your tummy!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME!" Fang yelled. "THEY ARE NOT 'BUTT NUGGETS'!!"

"B-b-b-b-b-b-butt!!!" The alligator said.

"SHUT UP, YOU PIECE OF CRAP!" Fang yelled. Then, he randomly bit the alligator's nose.

"Piece of crap?!" The alligator said angrily, ignoring the nose-biting. "I'm hand-crafted from the finest wood around. What about you? You're olive skin makes you look like a giant wheat cracker! Put some cheese on your wings, and the French will eat you up!"

Fang began banging on the alligator's head. "Knock on wood!"

"W-w-hat-t-t -t-the h-h-heck-k-k?!" The alligator stuttered out.

Fang picked up the alligator. "Someone needs to finish mowing the lawn, Mr. Wooden Alligator." Fang began petting the alligator evilly.

"Wait a second! Put me down!" The Alligator protested. "Get off my butt! Get off my alligator butt, you pervert! You're a pervert for touching an alligator's butt! Stop it, you're crazy! What are you doing? What are you doing? Stop it! Stop touching my alligator butt!"

Suddenly, Fang pulled on the alligator's tail, which made lawn mower noises.

"Ahh! Ahh! Ahhhh! Ahhhhhh!!!" The alligator screamed.

This time, when Dr. Martinez, Ella, and the Flock came home, they found Fang jumping around the lawn with his wooden alligator, acting like he was trying to mow the lawn.

Max sighed as she placed the groceries on the table. "I'm beginning to worry about him..."

"Me too." her mom agreed.

"By the way, Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Where's Jeb?"

Me: Notice that the only reason Fang get's upset by Jeb's death is because he needs the lawn mowed...

Fang: And I can make chicken nuggets...

Me; Ha ha, funny, Fang!

Fang: I'll show you! -stalks off to make nuggets-

Me: I'm going to go save my kitchen now...

R&R?