A/N: That drink in your hand? I suggest you put it down now...

Mar 10
If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters.
Nora Ephron

Tony DiNozzo put his foot to the floor and ignored the red light. Cars swerved to avoid him, honking their horns to remind him how suicidal he appeared.

He ignored them. His partner, lying in the back seat, did not seem bothered by them either.

"Drive faster!" she ordered.

"I am!"

"You are only doing fifty."

"My foot is flat to the floor and I'm in a thirty zone."

"I usually do seventy through here and this is an emergency."

"Jeez, Ziva. How have you not killed yourself yet?"

"Stop the car. I shall drive."

"You're in labor!"

"And I can still driver faster than you. Stop!"

She moaned in pain as another contraction hit her. Tony sped up a little. It wouldn't be good if she gave birth in his backseat; she would never let him forget it and his seat covers would be ruined.

"You said the hospital was five minutes away." Apparently she had recovered from the contraction. Crazy ninja Mossad chick with a high pain tolerance…

"That was before the accident clogging up the roads."

"I told you we should have gone left at the last intersection. I know a shortcut."

"Hang on, we'll make it. I'm not getting lost while you're giving birth."

"This is all your fault."

"Gibbs told you to take maternity level last week – it's your fault."

"I should have asked him to drive."

"And how would you manage that? 'Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Hostage Taker, but my water just broke and I need you to release my boss so he can drive me to the hospital'."

"If you had allowed me to crawl through that air duct, we would have had eyes in there half an hour before you managed to do so, and we would have everyone out by –"

She trailed off as another contraction hit her.

"Drive faster!" she insisted through gritted teeth.

He waited until she seemed to be in less pain before he retorted, "And how would you have crawled through the air duct when you look like a beached whale?"

She viciously kicked the back of his seat. "Stop this car right now so I can kill you and then drive myself to the hospital."

Tony cut across three lanes of traffic and did an emergency stop. "We're here!" he yelled. "Just hang on, Ziva. I'll get an orderly."

"I can walk, ahabal!"