Hey guys! VERY sorry for the long break in between updates, life's been crazy busy and also got a little distracted with some other projects. But I'm back now so I hope you enjoy this update! Thanks for continuing to leave kind comments in my absence, I saw some of the new reviews last night and they made me get my butt into gear and write this chapter.

Chapter Ten

I've never spent a full hour in the shower before today.

Showers are practical. You step inside them, you clean filth from your body and you step out of them. There's never been any need to loiter once that's over and done with.

But then, I've never before taken a shower with another person. I've never stood against the shower wall, watching the water evaporate blonde hair into sleek brown strands that hang over a brow furrowed in concentration, as a hand continues to linger between my thighs, finding places I never knew existed on my own body.

My guidance of Peeta's hand, showing him what I had discovered myself in dark Capitol rooms, had lasted mere minutes before he'd gotten the hang of it, and before I'd realised not knowing what he was about to do was exhilarating.

We're in the middle of a pause, both of us gasping for steam-choked air and exhaling into each other, with our foreheads pressed together and his hand on the inside of my thigh, ready to start up again as soon as we regain composure, when the phone rings.

''Ignore it.'' I say without even stopping to think about it. ''It's just Dr. Aurelius.''

Peeta nods enthusiastically and leans in to kiss me again. As his hand begins creeping upwards again, my body tenses in anticipation and longing for the feeling of fire he's been igniting. And then suddenly, his hand stops, and he pulls away, looking concerned.

''What?''

''Maybe you should answer it.''

''Answer what?'' I say, planting kisses on his neck to try and lure him back in. I've already forgotten about the phone, already drowned out the sound of it ringing.

''The phone, Katniss.'' Peeta laughs, but shrugs away from my kisses. ''Maybe you should answer the phone.''

The ringing ceases at that moment. I raise my eyebrows smugly, as if to say ''now, what?''

''Okay, maybe you should call them back.''

''Dr. Aurelius doesn't care if I don't answer the phone.'' I whine, though of course I wouldn't know how he feels about this, because I never answer the phone.

''What if isn't Dr. Aurelius? Remember when I told you that I think your mum might be trying contact you again?''

''Peeta.'' I groan. ''Don't talk about my mother when we're in this position.''

Peeta can't help but laugh, but his face grows serious again shortly after.

''I mean it, Katniss. I think she's really making an effort. It's not fair of you just to ignore her.''

I find myself pouting, as realisation that our time in our own tiny sanctuary, where nothing existed except me and Peeta and the things he made me feel has come to an end and reality is requesting our presence again.

''If I ring the number back and it's Dr. Aurelius, I'll kill you.'' I threaten. Peeta smiles, and I'm sure it's because he knows I'm hoping like Hell it is Dr. Aurelius. An hour long monotoned lecture where the word ''closure'' is said way too many times would be so much easier to handle then talking to my mother again.

Peeta and I dry ourselves and redress, and I offer my hand to him, silently asking if he'll come with me downstairs. He accepts, and though he doesn't make a big deal of it, I can see in his eyes what it means that I'm asking him to be there with me. It's a big step for me, to make the choice not to do something alone when I don't have too, but it's something I'm trying to do more. I'll never work out how I really feel about Peeta if I don't let him in.

At the downstairs phone, I hit the redial button and tap my foot impatiently, as Peeta leans against the kitchen bench. I try to go over in my head what I'll say if it is in fact my mother that answers, but I'm coming up with nothing besides everything I've imagined saying too her on my worst nights, about how she abandoned me not once by twice, about how she put her own selfish coping mechanisms above looking after her daughter, about how she should never have become a mother if she wasn't willing to see her kids out even in the worst of times.

I'm in the middle of mentally rehearsing my excuse for ending the phone call when I can't pretend not to be seething with my mum when the rings give way to a click of the receiver, and then the voice comes.

''Katniss?''

I freeze. I wasn't prepared for this. My jaw goes slack and I look at Peeta, panic-stricken.

''How did you get my number?'' I say. ''Why are you calling me?''

''Hey, take it easy.'' Peeta says, placing a hand on my shoulder. I roughly shrug it off.

''It's not my mum.'' I hiss. ''It's Gale.''

Peeta's face contorts oddly. I can imagine the thoughts going through his own head, but he's trying to remain stoic.

''Who are you talking too?"' Gale remains oddly calm on the other end.

''None of your business.'' I snap. ''Answer my question.''

''I tried calling you the other morning.''

''I wasn't home.'' I lie, fumbling to grab Peeta's hand. I pull him in towards me and run my hands under his shirt, playing on the muscles of his stomach. I have this strange urge to emphasis to Gale how well I'm healing without him, and touching Peeta while on the phone to him feels like it should be a blow, even though he has no idea Peeta's even in the room.

''You weren't home at six in the morning?''

''None of your business.'' I repeat, even though it's not really a logical response, and is more childish than anything. I survived two arenas, was pushed into leading a rebellion I didn't want to be a part of at the risk of Peeta's life, only to have it end in bombs from my own team that killed my sister. I've earned my right to be childish. ''What do you want?''

Gale sighs, but it's not a heavy sigh. More of a sigh like he knew this was how the call was going to go down, and is just willing himself to get through it.

''We're coming to District Twelve next week. I wanted to give you the heads up.''

The lunch Peeta and I ate on my living room floor earlier lurches in my stomach and threatens to turn to vomit, which I keep at bay but trailing my hands further up Peeta's shirt.

''Oh yeah?'' I try to sound unaffected. ''Who's 'we'?''

''Oh, you weren't told?'' Gale sounds genuinely surprised.

''I was told you had some big fancy job in Two.'' I say. ''Nobody told me what it was though. I didn't ask either.''

''Well, I'm the mayor's assistant, now.''

''Sounds like the exact kind of merchant position you used to rant about in the woods.'' I can't help it. Peeta shoots me a look as if too warn me off pushing the boundaries, but he forgets about it when I plant a series of kisses along the inside of his collarbone. If Gale can hear the sound of my lips smacking against Peeta's skin, he doesn't comment. He ignores my remark about his hypocrisy, too.

''We've been going around the districts, seeing what we can do to assist with the rebuilding. We're in Eleven at the moment. Things are coming along really well here.''

''Good to know. Is that all?''

There's another sigh.

''We're hoping to see you.'' He says. ''The mayor thinks it will be good for raising motivation and spirits to see the Mockingjay so onboard with the country's rebuilding.''

''My days of doing things because other people think it will look good are long gone, Gale. I think I made that pretty clear when I put an arrow throw Coin's heart.''

''That's true.'' Gale agrees. ''Alright, let me rephrase that. I'm hoping to see you. Not just as a part of the project. I think we need to talk about what happened.''

''What happened when?'' I find myself scowling, and no longer able to concentrate on Peeta. I pull away, and Peeta lovingly tucks some stray hair behind my ear.

''You know when.''

''There's nothing to talk about.'' I reach for the END CALL button on the phone, but Peeta beats me too it and covers it with his hand. I roll my eyes.

''There's plenty to talk about. Please, Katniss, I can't live the rest of my goddam life having never got the chance to tell you my side of the story.''

''Well Prim will never get too tell anyone her side of the story, so I guess your both out of luck.''

Peeta doesn't intervene when I got to hang up a second time. I slam the receiver down, huffing and out of breath, like I've just run a mile.

''Hey.'' He says softly. ''You wanna talk about it?''

I don't. I want nothing less than to talk about it. I spin on my heels and lunge myself towards Peeta, connecting our mouths instantly. In a swift movement, I pull his shirt over his head, and my hand snakes between us to massage him through his sweatpants. I feel him growing against my palm and a moan hits the back of my throat, before he pushes me off.

''Katniss, stop.''

''No, it's okay.'' I say, and make a move to close the gap between us again. ''I know you don't want to push me but it's fine.''

''It's not.'' Peeta puts two hands on my shoulders to keep my back. ''I won't do this. Not like this.''

''Like what?''

''Like you using me as some kind of petty revenge because you're mad at Gale.''

His words hit me like a punch to the throat.

''I'm not.'' I say.

''Yes you are.'' Peeta smiles ever so slightly. ''Don't worry. I'm not offended. I know what you're like and how you're head works. You might not even realise this is what you're doing, and the old me would have taken you throwing yourself at me even if I knew you had ulterior motives. And I did, actually, on more than one occasion. But I can't do that anymore. And it's about me, not about you. It's about keeping my emotions in check and being able to keep a leash on my impulses. I can't allow myself too much of you until I know it's real, that you're not just going to take it away again. Otherwise I'll get too emotional about it, and there's no telling what I'll do to you.''

Peeta Mellark is the only person that can call me out my manipulative behaviour and still end up making himself the bad guy.

''Come here.'' He says, opening his arms, and I fall into them, gracefully and softly, basking in the comfort of simply being held. He plants a gentle kiss on the top of my head, and I feel myself settling down.

''I'm sorry.'' I whimper.

''Don't be.'' Peeta says easily. ''I fell in love with you Katniss, exactly the way you are. You don't have to apologise for being that person.''

That night we sleep in my bed, side by side, fully clothed but fingers intertwined, always keeping each other within reach.

Will try super hard to update again in the next day or two, but REVIEWS ENCOURAGE ME TO UPDATE FASTER! Seriously I have so much more motivation to write when I'm receiving feedback on my work so please share your thoughts!