Faded Memories
By: Sakura-Moonlight
Summary: Hitsugaya goes through his memories to dig out the exact reason why he stuck by Hinamori's side, and realize the truths he forced himself to believe were anything but true. HitsuHina
A/N: Well, last chapter at last. It dragged on for longer than I thought it would, but I'm glad it's almost over. Yep. There's an epilogue. And...you'll now find out the meaning of angst. (I'm so sorry!) Thank you to all my wonderful, wonderful reviewers! The epilogue is coming as soon as I post this up, so I have no burdens on my mind, and you have no burdens on yours. (Or is it the fact that I'm afraid you guys will stop reading huh?) Anyways. Enjoy chapter 10 of Faded Memories!
Disclaimer: In no way do I own this wonderful series called Bleach. It's practically impossible to achieve in this lifetime, but maybe next time?
Chapter 10
Answers Found
Last time: "And eternal devotion ends it all ne taichou?"
"I'll kill you… I'LL KILL YOU!"
It's hard for us to confess to one another,
Only because we're afraid of being turned down.
But you're not even there,
And that pain's worse than anything.
Hitsugaya had won. He didn't know how, but he had. Aizen was dead, but he didn't feel any better. He had let his anger taken over him, and now… it must be all over. His body ached oh so terribly but he didn't care. This was one promise he had fulfilled after all, why wasn't he feeling proud?
Running over to Hinamori, his eyes blurred, holding her with both arms, he saw that Aizen wasn't lying. She was bleeding still, but too much blood was already gone. Her eyes were already closed and her smile already faded away, for it wasn't there in the first place. Everything…
Hitsugaya wouldn't have believed it if he didn't just see it with his own two eyes, but Hinamori…
She was dead.
And he felt broken all over again.
Matsumoto's words… they flew all over him again. Everyone's did. Still grabbing onto her, Hitsugaya knew.
He wasn't going to let this promise to himself go unkept.
"Taichou? Why Hinamori-chan? Why do you want to protect her so badly?"
"Because I care about her. More than anything else in the world."
"She really needs someone who cares about her."
"I do."
"Is she more than your best friend?"
Hitsugaya paused. "...Definitely."
"Do you hate her?"
"No… never."
"…It may very well turn into…her own betrayal against you…Right?"
"But she didn't."
It was so ironic, looking into those eyes of hers, knowing the person he knew was no longer there, it made Hitsugaya realize something, something so crystal clear that...
"I'm such a baka…"
He had loved her. More than anything, and now she was gone, and he couldn't even tell her the truth.
Why had he been jealous of Aizen?
Because he had stolen Hinamori's affection.
Why was he a shinigami captain now?
Because he wanted to impress Hinamori and to tell her that he was strong enough to protect her with his own life.
But in the end, it never worked out.
"…I love you…Momo…" Hitsugaya muttered, looking at her sadly, somehow hoping she'd wake up and say those words back to him.
But dreaming doesn't help. It never did and it never will.
One more…
"Can you live without her?"
And while holding her cold body in his hands, he knew.
Matsumoto knew too. The very feeling of someone you loved, gone, without you able to tell them how you feel.
Unohana did too, those sad eyes, unable to go on any longer. Being a healer herself, she's been through so many people with the same antics. Unohana shut her eyes. It's for the best right?
"no." He spoke softly at first, realizing his actions quickly as he felt one of his hands leaving her body and swiftly grabbing the sheath of Hyourinmaru.
He felt his eyes watering over the decision he was going to make, right there and then, regardless of whoever was watching. He had priced her over all others. It seemed so unreasonable yet...
So right...
"Hyourinmaru."
"Yes. I understand. But are you sure? You'll be letting down your lieutenant, your friends, all of Soul Society, all only for her?"
"I'm sorry."
"I know you. You won't go back on your word. It's your decision to make."
"…Thank you. I'm glad we were partners."
"It's a bond that will last forever."
And Hitsugaya felt the icy aura surround him and Hinamori, circling him as he felt the coldness take in slowly, the familiar feeling no longer friendly as usual.
I kept my promise… I have no regrets. Thank you…Matsumoto…Unohana…Ukitake…
Matsumoto's eyes widened as she saw what was happening.
"NO! Unohana-taichou, we've got to…" But the healer had shaken her head.
"It's his life… not ours."
"But…" And the ice had disappeared.
"TAICHOU!"
And the two were gone.
Matsumoto sank onto her knees. The war was over. But now she understood what it meant by both sides losing. In why war was so detested. So meaningless. Victory meant nothing now.
"Let's go… I'll show you the other patients." Matsumoto suddenly spoke up. Unohana had seen her eyes,once like her own when she could not save her first patient. So broken and hurt, that it seemed almost impossible to heal.
And she had seen Hitsugaya's body, even from afar. She saw the remnants of his tears on the ground as Matsumoto took Hyourinmaru and Tobiume from the two.
Unohana didn't ask, only followed, not once looking back.
Because she knew if she did, her heart would break as well, like before.
As she walked, she felt the ice like feeling of cold again. And looked up.
It was snowing.
In honour of Yoruichi, former 2nd division captain, Isane, 4thdivision vice-captain, Hinamori, 5th division vice-captain, Hitsugaya, 10th division captain, Ukitake, 13th division captain. We hope you live in peace.
We say love makes us do strange things,
But really,
It's us that do strange things because of love.
And in the end, Hitsugaya had cried, for the first time. For his soul… had broken at last.
A/N: Okay. I'm running away. And this is how it turns out! But there's the epilogue afterwards, so please read that as well. It'll make this so much better than it seems. (Well, I tried.) Review please! And thanks for reading!