Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 10

Pairing: Robert & Holly

Rating: R

I know what runs through your blood
You do this all in vain
Because of you my mind is always racing
And it gets under my skin
To see you giving it
And now your trip begins

Robert untangled himself from satin sheets and the comforting warmth of his sleeping wife and made his way out of bed careful not to wake her. The events of the night before were a bit blurry in his mind, but they all came rushing back to him the moment he entered the bathroom to find the none too subtle hints of last night's blowout scattered across the floor. Pills. And glass. And Holly's blood.

They had been through a lot of things together, both good and bad but up until now it had never brought about actual bloodshed. He wetted a wash cloth and under the bathtub faucet and then began to wipe up the dried, brown blood from the marble tile. He thought things had gone too far before, but he was no where near prepared to deal with the aftermath of last nights events.

He carefully cleaned up the broken glass and the pills that littered the bathroom floor and vanity. As he was sweeping up the last of the pills on the floor he walked over to the trash can at the vanity to empty the dustpan, only something caught his eye before he got the chance. He placed the handheld dustpan on the edge of the vanity and reached down into the almost empty trash can to retrieve what he knew was a packet of birth control.

Once again he felt his anger beginning to rise within him, until he opened it up to find it almost full and then something inside him snapped. It snapped so hard, so clean, so crisp that he couldn't even move. Every amount of trust he had in his wife had just vanished, seemingly, into thin air. They had discussed having another baby. They had. And the decision was no. At least he thought they had agreed. Apparently not.

A baby? She couldn't be possibly be serious. At this point in their lives to start all over again seemed absurd. Andrew and William had been out of the house almost five years, they were adults moving forward with their lives. The next obvious step for them was grandchildren, not another baby. When they had discussed it the previous night he chalked it up to empty nest syndrome, but now he wasn't so sure. Holly was actually prepared to go behind his back and purposely get pregnant.

He didn't know how much more their marriage could take. There was no trust, no faith and no unity anymore. All they were left with were lies and selfishness and insincerity. The love was still there though. Passionate, all consuming love that knew absolutely no bounds. But sometimes love just wasn't enough. And even the strongest love couldn't keep two people together that couldn't stand to be in the same room.

Robert dropped the birth control back down into the trash can. If Holly thought that having a baby was going to solve all their problems then she had another thing coming to her. He wasn't about to have another baby to begin with and now he was even more determined than ever to keep from becoming a father again. Even if he had to go to unimaginable lengths and play just as dirty as she was.

Two hours later

Holly slowly made her way down the winding back staircase and into the gourmet kitchen to find it completely empty. Usually Robert was sitting at the breakfast on Saturday mornings having lunch. At least she was pretty certain that it was Saturday. But then again it was early and she usually didn't grace anyone with her lovely presence before noon, Robert often included.

"Robert?" she called out as she entered the den. "Robert?"

He placed the drink in his hand down between the sofa and the end table, praying that she wouldn't go as far as the sofa. "Yes, luv?" he answered from behind the newspaper.

"I hate waking up alone." she said as she sat down beside him on the sofa. "Why didn't you wake me?"

He put the paper down and focused his attention on his wife. "I couldn't." he confessed. "You looked so peaceful sleeping and I didn't want to disturb you."

Holly smiled. "Oh, darling." she sighed dramatically. "One would think with your line of work that you would be a better liar."

"Okay." he breathed out. "I didn't want to hear you whine and complain." he said. "How's that for the truth?"

"Much better."

"He folded up the newspaper and tossed it on the cocktail table in front of him. "What are you doing up at this ungodly hour anyway?"

"I thought you and I could spend the day together."

"Oh, Holly." he sighed, more annoyed than relieved. "I have plans for later this morning."

"What plans?" she asked, immediately. "You didn't tell me you had any plans."

"Yes I did." he argued. "Grant and I are going to play golf."

"You never mentioned before now, Robert."

"Grant and I always play golf on Saturdays." he told her. "Whilst you're off doing whatever it is that you do. Sleeping I suppose."

"You and Grant don't always play golf on Saturdays." she argued.

"We do." he insisted. "You're just too busy sleeping off you're party mix of pills to notice that I'm gone that's all."

"That was a nasty comment, Robert." she said.

"I'm sorry, luv." he apologized.

"Sorry about the comment?" she asked.

"Sorry that you thought it was nasty." Robert replied. "I'm sure you can find someway to occupy yourself whilst I'm playing golf."

"I'd rather you stay here." Holly said as she moved closer to him. "I'm sure I can find some way to keep you occupied."

The closer she moved to him, the more nervous Robert become. Unable to take the risk of her moving any closer to him he abruptly stood up just as she was leaning in to kiss his jaw. "I should go get ready."

Holly looked up at him her eyes searching for his but only finding the top of his head. He knew that he was in the wrong. And he knew that she knew it too. "Robert." she said as she stood up. "You've been drinking haven't you?"

When he finally lifted his eyes he saw something flash in hers. A flash filled with such anger, such desperation, such fear that he held his breath and waited for whatever she was about to unleash on him. And whatever it was it was going to be bad. That much he knew.

"Robert?!" she called out. "Answer me!"

And suddenly he became enraged. By the way she treated him. By the way she belittled him like he was a small child in need of reprimand from his mummy. By the way she was such a hypocrite with her demeaning, hurtful and sometimes vicious words. And most of all by the way she was now able to look straight through him as though he was nothing but one big disappointment.

"Yes!" he bellowed at the very top of his lungs. His voice was so loud and so deep that Holly physically shook.

"Why?" she breathed out, defeated. "Why, Robert?"

"Why not?!" he gritted out. "You're still walking around in a drug induced haze."

"Oh, I see, because I'm still taking my medication you think its okay for you to self medicate yourself with alcohol." she concluded. "Is that right, Robert?"

He glared at her. God! Sometimes he just absolutely hated to be anywhere near her. "Medication? Your medication?" he repeated. "Because you have real reasons for taking all those pills."

"They're all prescribed by doctors." she pointed out. "It's not like I'm scoring them on the streets."

"Of course they're all prescribed!" he shouted. "You're the Mayor's wife like they're going to tell you that you can't have them. All you have to do is walk into the office and complain and boom prescriptions are written."

"You think that's what I do?" she asked, slightly disappointed in his opinion of her need for the medication that was prescribed to her. "You think I just walk in and demand things and people drop at my feet?"

"Its politics, Holly." he replied. "It's all politics. Why wouldn't they jump at the chance to make you as happy as possible when you're constantly raising money for their benefit?"

"Dammit, Robert, not everything is about politics!" she yelled.

"It is when every goddamn doctor in Port Charles is stocking our medicine cabinet to look like a pharmacy." he told her. "When they've, without conscience, turned my wife into a pill popping addict."

"I am not an addict!" she practically screamed at him. "Those pills were prescribed to me because I need them."

"Yeah, you need them all right." Robert sighed. "In fact you can't live without them."

"They were prescribed!" she repeated. "If I didn't have to spend so much time alone then I wouldn't need half of them."

"So this is my fault?!" he asked outraged. "You pop pills to help you get through the day because you've somehow convinced yourself that you need them but yet it's my fault?

"This isn't about me." she corrected him. "This is about you and your undying need to always walk around with a drink in your hand."

"I don't always walk around with a drink in my hand!" Robert argued. "That's something that you've theorized so that you feel better about your addiction."

"For the very last time, Robert Scorpio, I don't have an addiction." she told him. "What I have is a husband who never pays attention to me and a social calender so booked that I barely have time to breathe between each event. So if I need a little something to relax me or to keep me calm or help me sleep then so be it. You never complained about me taking pills when we were on the campaign trail, in fact you were the one that encourage that I take them."

"Don't you dare turn this around on me!" he warned. "I suggested that you take something to help you sleep because you were exhausted from campaigning. I never suggested that you use them as a crutch to get through every event and crises for the rest of your life."

"I don't use them as a crutch!" she yelled. "I don't! You on the other hand think that a drink will solve every inadequacy you have! You think that it soothes and erases all the mistakes you've made as a husband and as a father and as a politician and as a human being! But it doesn't, Robert!"

"I need something." he replied. "I need something to help me get through this hell of a marriage. I need something to get me through the day. I need something to keep me from snapping."

"If this marriage is such hell for you then why are you still in it?" Holly asked. "Please feel free to leave, Robert. I'm sure as hell not about to stop you from walking out that door. But we both know that you're not going anywhere. You can't afford to leave me. It would scar your prestigious reputation far too much and we all know that you need me. Without me you have no future in politics!"

"I don't need you, Holly." he said bitterly. "I haven't needed or wanted you in a very long time."

"You need me." she repeated. "They don't want a Governor who's integrity is tarnished by a nasty, bitter divorce no more than they want one that's a stumbling drunk. The state wants a Governor who is a devoted family man, a wonderful father and a loving husband. If you walk out on me then you have no chance at being Governor of New York."

"I'm going to be Governor of New York." he said, confidently. "And what better way to get sympathy votes than to divorce my controlling, addict wife."

"I think you've had too much to drink this morning." Holly announced. "The alcohol seems to be clouding your judgement. You divorce me and you'll never win that campaign." she threatened. "I'll expose you for what and who you really are."

"And what's that?" he asked.

"A drunk." she said as she walked over to the bar and took the cap off the decanter of scotch. "I'll get all the sympathy and you'll get no votes." Holly filled two tumblers up to overflowing and then took one in each hand, liquor dripping everywhere as she presented her husband with a glass. "Here you go, darling." she said with a smile. "Drink up."

Robert could feel his temperament beginning to slip. He wanted so badly to reach out and take the glass from her hand. He wanted to drink down all of the contents, hell he'd lick the glass to get out every last drop. He took a deep breath trying to regain some semblance of control, but with her standing in front of him, condescending him, he couldn't take it. He batted the glass right out of her hand sending it and its contents spilling onto the floor, splashing scotch on them both.

Holly wiped a few drops of scotch off her cheek with her already liquor doused, bandaged hand. She raised the remaining glass up, tipped it toward Robert, and then took a long drink savoring every incredible drop of alcohol that slid down her throat.

"Well, my darling." she sighed. "I guess we're both off the wagon now."

"Well, if we're both off the wagon we may as well be off together." Robert said as he made his way over to the bar and began pouring himself a drink.

"I don't know that I want to be off the wagon." Holly admitted in a moment of sanity.

Robert took a long drink of his vodka. "Come on, luv." he said softly. "We both know that it tastes like pure heaven."

Holly simply finished off the rest of her drink and then sat the empty tumbler on the bar. "You should get ready for your golf game."

"I really should." he agreed as he poured himself yet another drink. "I don't want to keep Grant waiting." he said as he picked up the drink and began walking out of the room.

"Robert?" she called out after him.

He stopped in the doorway. "Yes?"

"After everything that happened last night, why did you come down here and have a drink this morning?" she asked. "I thought after we made love last night that everything was going to be okay. What changed between in a few hours?"

"Deceit." he answered simply. "I found your birth control in the trash can this morning."

Holly just looked at him, unable to say a word.

"I can't trust you Holly." he said, sadly.

"So what does that mean?" she asked, unshed tears filling her chocolate eyes. "What does that mean for us?"

"I don't know."

tbc...