Hey! sorry for the delay.. I got caught on reading a story by fems... -.-'

Enjoy.

M.

Chapter 10- Fake lives, True Feelings

1995

Wednesday, August 6th.

Fairfield College Preparatory

Oh boy, she was nervous, more nervous that she never was before and she had lots of things in her past that could make the most composed person feel skittish and yet, not of those had moved a hair in her body in the anxious way she was today.

Today was THE day.

It was probably the most absurd thing to believe such a simple fact if she actually looked back at the mess that composed her life history. How she could still believe there could be "A" day and "a" one, she still couldn't comprehend. However, she knew deep down in her soul, she had found The one on one sunny day 10 years ago in Rome, when coming down the stairs of the most boring conference she ever got herself into, she saw him looking at her. And somehow that absurd connection she felt that day was fortified over the years in a way she never thought possible or couldn't find way to rationalize.

They had the chance to keep in contact, that feat by itself was a whole point in destiny favor and all those years since that chill ran from her head to her toes, she never lost that feeling in her bones whenever they saw each other. He was different, that was clear in the way he looked at her and really at her, not the Lieutenant, not the Doctor, not Sam, but all of her at once.

She once thought the way he looked at her would change the moment he found out she was not only Air Force but special ops, and surprisingly it didn't. And then years happened and she still was afraid his special way of looking at her would change the day she told her about her lost daughter, and just like her mind provided, it didn't. He just embraced just another part of her like it was the most common thing to do… and then, after that first kiss barely a week ago, when he could have gone all different having won her over, he kept treating her in the same way... He always treated her like something really valuable, he always made her feel right.

However the moment she saw the thin untanned line, she knew she had not a chance. She went back to the Academy and buried herself again in her career. Then she found him again and the moment he talked about his wife, she knew he would always be the impossible one. She had found at a young age the one she would measure anyone with…she found the one she would never have. But somehow, things changed… life went on and she found herself staring at the clock, willing the time to go faster only for today…

Today was a fluke, a form of future torture, maybe. She was pretty sure someone up there was giving her these days or months of supposedly pretended joy to make it all more complicated, more painful. Yet another lesson on what it was to be happy and what was to lose it everything all again.

Maybe the mystics were right and there were lessons in life that she was deemed to repeat over and over again, or maybe, she was so comfortable in her current life that she was marked as one of those who needed something to shake their core beliefs to the ground, so they could gather themselves up and end up more damaged but yet stronger.

She shook her head, hoping those things weren't real and concentrated back on her mission, she knew this was by far the most dangerous mission of her career. For this time, her job required her to set her heart on the line, along with her dreams of her impossible man and she knew getting back from this untainted would be an almost impossible feat. However, she wouldn't take a get out of this mission card, even if Earth itself was at risk. She would take what it was given to her and enjoy it as much as she could, and consequences be damned. She learned a long time ago to live by the day and take them as they come.

She wasn't one of those girls who dreamed of their wedding day, nor did she saw herself like the mother and wife with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence, until she saw him and at 17 learned that whatever her dreams with him were, she would never see them fulfilled. But then again, this day, she would get everything she ever wanted and even if it was just for a short period of her life, it wouldn't be so forbidden. Yes, even for her it was difficult to grasp the full deep of the changes about to drastically change her life…

She would 'marry' the man she had loved for so long and they would live for an unmarked amount of time in the same house and share their day in the most intimate of the ways. Granted, it was a fake wedding and the house was bought by the President so they could find his daughter and the relationship was there only for the sake of the mission…but it didn't make it less real… not for her.

"Miss Carter, are you alright?" A boy asked, getting her back to the present.

The kids were at their best today and she was very thankful with all those conflicting thoughts running rampant in her mind, she didn't have the focus she knew she needed to deal with the vibrant kids of her classes.

"Elliot, darling, how many times do I need to tell you who you can call me Sam," she smiled at him.

"I'm sorry, Miss Carter, but my parents don't agree with that." He said not quite looking at her in the eyes, she sighed.

"Well, I guess I have to get use to you calling me, Miss Carter then, " she beamed and Elliot nodded happily "what did you wanted Elliot?"

"I'm having troubles solving this"

Sam smiled, maybe an explanation could take her mind of the sensation of being trapped in a time dilation bubble where 5 minutes until 1200 couldn't get fast enough. She snorted at her idea, like a time dilation bubble could be something real. She read the exercise Elliot was having issues with, hoping her mind could focus in problem solving instead of wondering if sharing a life with Jack O'Neill would be the end of her. In what it seemed a couple seconds, she explained to Elliot the easiest way to solve the exercise he was having problems with and the bell finally rang.

"Ok, kids don't forget to do your homework. I'll see you Friday," she said over the noise of the kids rushing out of her class, she grabbed her things and headed out. After working in the bowels of the mountain or at the undergrown of the Pentagon for so long; she decided she would enjoy every sunny day she got, add this to the need of being at someplace visible for Jack to find her, and it resulted with her making a beeline to one of the multiple benches available in the garden.

Not surprisingly, she settled for a half hidden bench with a great view of the parking lot. Yes, she knew he was stopping by Martha's coffee and that gave her a good idea of from where he might be arriving. She also had her Special Ops training screaming at her to sit in a place where she could easily notice anything.

Sitting alone, she opened the book she brought with her and took her sandwich out; she was not quite eating and somewhat engrossed in her reading, since she had to pretend she wasn't actually scouting the area. She lowered her eyes to read another paragraph when the tingling sensation of feeling observed made her look up and there he was, he looked out of place.

It was his stance or maybe her need to be close to him that made her sprint to get him, while he slowly walked looking around, trying to find her. He spotted her and saw her coming towards him, and slowed down smiling crookedly at her. The moment she saw his smile, she slowed down her pace and she beamed at him, the final steps were tentative and painfully slow… but they filled it.

"Jack!" she said, breathless standing in front of him, her eyes barely open thanks to the sunlight

"Sam," he whispered, bringing his hand up to place a lock of her hair behind her ear.

Somehow, with such simple show of affection, the deepness of what was supposed to occur and the doubts which came from it decided it was the best moment to make an appearance, making both somewhat uncomfortable of the position in which the other was. She chewed her lower lip, and it caught his attention immediately. With his eyes fixated on her lips, she couldn't help but to blush under his heated gaze and thus, she forget everything about the many students and teachers surrounding them. All of them were already talking about the fact that, after two weeks in the school, this was the first time she showed signs of knowing someone outside this little world they called school. And as most paradoxical moments, it brought out all the doubts and fears and at the same time, such simple exchange, took all the awkwardness away and the sounds of everything else overcame the bubble they created. She sighed and he shifted his weight, now somewhat aware of his surroundings.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm looking for you," he shrugged and her heart beat faster by hearing words she always wanted to hear from him directed at her. She shook her head, trying to keep her mind on the right track, she was the hurt girlfriend not the swooning version of herself who was currently threatening to get out. Some students stopped close to them.

"Why? You left me … you didn't even said goodbye," she answered, sounding really angry, and loud enough to not be normal and low enough it couldn't be called 'screaming' either. But at the same time successfully getting the attention of the crowd.

Jack saw not only the crowd looking at him like he was guilty of breaking the most precious thing in the world, but he heard those words 'you left me' from her somehow hurt voice and he swallowed hard, thinking he was a real fool for letting her go so many times before, for choosing a family life that had already fall apart over her, he blushed and lowered his gaze to the floor.

"I'm sorry, Sam," he said a while later, leveling her eyes with her and it sounded to her like it came from the bottom of his heart, making hers beat faster just with those little words and a caress on her cheek. Somehow, she knew he was apologizing for something more than this fake whatever they were portraying, even if she didn't know exactly what for. She closed her eyes and sighed, enjoying the closeness of the moment.

"Why are you here, Jack?" she asked, looking at his eyes.

"For the same reason I left that day"

"You are here to leave me again? It's not enough to know you already broke my heart?" she asked, biting her lower lip, her eyes watering.

"It is not like that," he pleaded, running his hand through his hair. "Look, when you told me you accepted the position… I went to pick something I needed, when I returned you weren't there" he growled.

"I was shocked, Jack! I told you good news and you ran away without saying a word! What I was supposed to do? Sit and wait? I went to Katherine's," she said in disbelief. God they were good at pushing themselves into awkward situations, although this one seemed straight from a soap opera. She shook her head when he didn't make any attempt to stop her rant, "What were you looking for? What on Earth could have you rushing out of my door like that? What could possibly be more important than staying and discuss our future?" she questioned loudly.

"This," he whispered firmly, pulling a box out of his jacket, she couldn't stop the gasp which left her nor the tears that were taking ownership of her eyes. She knew what it was about to happen, it was part of the plan… but knowing it and actually living it. He too felt overwhelmed, mostly because he could feel the eyes of the people searing his body, he looked around, people had teary eyes and hands in their mouths to cover the gasps they were making. It only took him a second to scan the crown and get back to what was important, he saw the look in her eyes and nothing else mattered, he forgot about the crowd, the mission, the lost years and only remembered her, her laughter, her words, her. He went to his knees, his left one complained and she frowned at his grimace of pain but he quickly covered it.

"Samantha Carter," he said, locking his eyes on hers, "when I met you, you were so young and vibrant and so far out of my league that I never thought this day would arrive, you are so special and you don't even know it. I haven't met anyone willing to go the lengths you go for something you believe in and I will be honored if you decide to accept this ring and with it make me the happiest man alive…Sam, will you marry me?"

Her eyes widened with shock at first; then she saw him and saw his eyes full of love, and took the words as they were… his real sentiment even if it was covered by a legal lie. She couldn't help it, one or two tears finally made their way down running freely on her cheeks and she couldn't find her voice. She nodded several times and he stood up and embraced her with all his might.

"Are you sure?" he asked, knowing there was no coming back from this.

It was the plan, yes. She was supposed to answer yes, he knew. However, he couldn't avoid to feel nervous and doubtful when she nodded. He had looked at her, knowing that, for a couple weeks, he would be the happiest man alive, he would have the most perfect woman by his side. Not only was she beautiful, she was impossibly smart, caring, strong and brave, he also knew some of her sins and most of her flaws, and being one of the few who had gotten to know the whole package… he couldn't possibly not love her…. And that was the reason why he had to give her a chance for an out before she ended hurt again over a mission which promised so much more than what he bargained for but at the end couldn't be real and the price would be too high.

She locked eyes with him, having one of their many conversations without words, and she knew what he was doing, she knew he was offering an out. She knew he was asking her if she was willing to pay the price of being together for a short time and paying the price afterwards.

"Yes!" she said with a huge smile.

"Really?" he asked hopefully now. If she was willing to take the pain for the few weeks of joy, so was he.

"Yes!" She kissed him, "I'll marry you…" and then she remembered they were supposed to be at town hall by 1600 "Today if it's possible!"

"Little eager, aren't we?" He joked and she punched him on the arm.

She was laughing and crying; and he took her hand in his and slowly slid the ring on her finger, she noticed surprised that his hands were trembling so she took his hands in hers and pressed them slightly. He smiled at the comfort she provided and leaned in to claim her lips once more. It was the most loving and wonderful kiss they ever shared and they only parted when they registered the cat calls going around. Sam blushed brightly and smiled, she looked blissfully happy and so did him. For once, both were on the same page and they would use every single day of this mission to make sure they would last in the memory of the other.

"What time do you end here?" he whispered, knowing full well her schedule.

"15hs. But I never leave before 15:30" she smiled brightly at him.

"I'll be here, and then we can go and get married"

"Yes!"

"Great! So lunch?" he said and she remembered she left everything behind.

"I left mine over there, but we can head to the cafeteria …" she started when he placed a single finger over her mouths successfully stopping her.

"Actually, I had planned something," he said, pointing to the rucksack on the floor she never noticed before. "Where are you things?" he asked and she pointed the general direction of the bench.

He threw one arm over her shoulder, once he grabbed his rucksack and placed it back on his shoulder.

"That looks pretty cool for my plans," he grinned, showing her a nice shade under an old tree. She nodded and after picking her book and forgotten sandwich and water bottle, they walked toward the tree. "Wait" he halted her from sitting on the grass, he fished in his bag and took out a blanket proceeding to lay it on the grass, then he helped her sit and he sat right next to her taking out some tuna sandwiches, two water bottles, two orange juice bottles, fruits and one cup of blue jello, which made her giggle and that made him raise an eyebrow.

"You remembered," she whispered in awe explaining her reaction, and he blushed. Of course he remembered the fights over blue vs red jello, the thing he didn't remember was the last time he blushed this much. "This is perfect, thanks" She smiled at him, a smile he knew was reserved only for him during the whole time they knew each other. They talked about nothing, laughed and all the sudden it was time for her to go back and they parted with a lingering kiss.

"I'll see you at 1530hs" he said once they were almost at her door.

"I'll be waiting for you"

O'Neill Residence

"That was so romantic," Janet said, quickly cleaning the tear that escaped her eyes.

"It was … simple"

"You looked like you almost believe it"

"You know what we said in that room, right?" Jack asked, and they all nodded. "The meaning of what we left out in that room is just as important to me as the moment we had that day, even when I knew it wasn't for real, it felt real"

"The moment I saw Jack uncomfortably looking around the campus, my heart started to beat wildly. I knew it was a mission, I knew it wouldn't last, it couldn't last and that whatever we had was fake…but it was so real"

"Ok, so let me get this straight, you were going to get married for a mission even though you both knew you cared for each other more than you were supposed to?" Daniel asked confused and they both simply nodded, their friend frowned, "hmm, okay"

1995

Wednesday, August 6th.

Fairfield College Preparatory

If she couldn't wait noon to arrive before, waiting for 1530 was even worse. She was feeling more fidgeting than her last group normally was by the last minutes before the end of her class. When the bell finally rang pointing the end of her session, she eagerly tried to dismiss her students and for a reason unknown to her, they just weren't going anywhere.

When Jack found her class, he couldn't help but smile. It was almost completely full and she had a look of defeat he never saw her sporting before. All the whispering in the halls pointing him as the one made him connect the dots of what was happening. Of course, in only two weeks Sam would have managed to become the favorite teacher and everyone would want to be a part of her life, something she probably didn't even noticed.

Shaking his head and with a smile that he couldn't contain, he let himself step into the classroom using the back door and waited for the kids to start moving out, which they did the moment the back door opened and they noticed inserting himself into the room, and they left him with nothing to do but to stare at her. She looked up to him, having felt him looking at her and smiled as response to his own crooked smile, and they lost themselves in each other for a couple seconds as they did in the past ten years before snapping back to the real world, the kids started to laugh and whisper. Sam blushed brightly and ushered them out.

"Huh, you are always rushing out of here, and today you stay? Are you snooping around?" She asked to them and her kids laughed

"Good Luck, Miss Carter" a couple of them said, leaving the room, and some even glared at him before smiling smitten at Sam and waving a goodbye to their probably favorite teacher.

As the room was getting more and more empty, Jack walked closer and she decided it was the best moment to start packing only to realize she had already picked everything she had.

"Hi"

"Hi"

"Are you ready?" he said, his hands in his pockets and rocking on the ball of his feet. She looked at him straight in the eyes, "More ready than I'll ever be," she whispered.

"Do you have your car?" he asked, placing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yes, I only want to stop at the coffee shop just outside," she said, looking over his shoulder, knowing there were still people hanging on every word they exchanged. "The owner, Martha, she is a friend, I believe she won't refuse to take it back to the house when she is free"

"From the Green Coffee Shop?"

"Yes"

"She was the one pointing me here," he smiled, and they started walking out of the building and towards the parking lot, "Let's do it, or you want to head for your house… I don't know get showered and all that girly thing," She laughed

"Do I smell or something?" she asked and leaned forward and he smelled her neck, causing her to blush, laugh and shudder at the same time.

"Just flowery, maybe strawberries" he grinned, feeling slightly pleased with her reaction

"I'm good Jack. It is not like we are having guest afterwards and I don't need anything else than you there," she shrugged.

"Ok, let's head out then"

They got to the Green Coffee Shop, and in seconds Martha was talking with them, congratulating them on finding each other and ushering them to the town hall. She jumped in Jack's truck and they set their way to the court they were pointed. They got there with a few minutes to spare, went in and asked for the judge who was supposed to get them married. He came out a few minutes later, saluted them and proceeded to marry them. It was nothing fancy, it was just a simple signature act, which still was one of the best moments in their whole lives.

When they finally got to the house, almost two hours later, Jack pulled Sam into his arms and holding her up he went over the threshold while she laughed.

"I didn't do this on the first one, maybe it was what it jinxed it" She laughed loudly, they both knew their marriage documents were completely fake. However, they also knew two things: one, by now their house was full with cameras and they had to really make believe they were a real married couple. And two, it didn't matter if it was fake or not, nor the existence or lack of cameras, they were absolutely happy to make the most of whatever time they could get as a couple before it all came crumbling down for them.