Letter Fifteen
Spencer im sorry for everything today. Aiden told me the worst news today and I just couldn't control myself. Your dating a guy and you didn't tell me. I asked you upfront when we exchanged keys and you said there was no one that you planned to stay single for a while. I had hoped to use that time to win you back to show you that I could change and that there was still love between us. I went and ruined any chance of us ever talking again but at least I can move on. I now have to realize that your going to be sleeping with this guy and probably soon. You never liked holding hands in public but here you got caught hold some guys hand. I should have listen to all my friends who warned me you were straight. Your so mad at me now anything you do you will probably think it was better then with me. But it all doesn't really matter does it? You have him your new cowboy, its what you always wanted. Youll finely get to have sex with a guy. You will finely get to be in a normal relationship. Your going to take the easy way out like Paula wanted you to.
That Song In My Head by Julianne Hough will always be our song. There are so many things and places that will be ours. So many secret moments in the past so many dreams but I got to learn to let it all go. Its not going to be easy and I don't know if I will ever be able to stop secretly hoping you will come back. But I am going to need to learn to push that hope away because you never will.
Spencer im to upset right now to write. I thought I could get through this letter but right now I just need time to process all of this. I took everything of yours off, yours and you familys FB all your numbers and im going to have my mom get all your stuff you accidently left out of my room. Because thinking of you with him is going to make me dead inside. I feel so sick I cant stand it. I think the only way im going to be able to get through this is pretend that your dead. I am dead to you anways now.
Heart broken ashley