Chapter 10: Surprise Soldier

"Jack,

I miss you,

Love, Sam"

It was a short message she'd sent before heading into work. Short and she hoped sweet.

How could she ever put everything she wanted him to know into a text message?

How could she tell him all he was to her? Tell him that whether or not he was physically able to make love to her, he was her husband. That sex, as glorious as it was, was only a part of what they had together.

If he wouldn't speak to her, she'd never be able to tell him what was in her heart. Even then, neither one of them was all that good at verbalizing feelings.

For now she'd have to wait.

OoOoOo

I miss you.

It was a simple message. It touched Jack's heart just as Sam had hoped it would. Now as he sat alone holding the tiny piece of modern technology that had wordlessly delivered his wife's message, he missed her, powerfully. But it wasn't time, he wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to go back. He knew something had to change. He needed her, but he needed something else more. Only problem was he had no idea what that something was or where to find it.

Enough said, enough for now, he thought, sitting alone in the hospital lounge, frustrated with himself. How did I end up like this?

Could this whole thing get any stranger? Jack wondered.

Sam's the woman I love more than anything and I stay away from her. Well I suppose it's not the first time. But now I'm doing it voluntarily; I can't blame regulations. Maybe that's why it really took me so long to marry her in the first place. I never did believe I was good enough for Sam. Now, it's all caught up with me.

Seeing Keller reminds me of the man I used to be. Twenty years ago, young, strong, vital, black-ops in Iraq. I survived. I was strong; I could get through anything, just like he did. I survived that time. No one took care of me; I made it through myself.

I only met Keller that one time, that two day tour in Iraq. The President dragged me along, probably because none of the other lackeys were available on short notice. Hell, I wasn't exactly well known by the run of the mill military brass, but at least I was a bona fide general and had a lot of hardware on my dress uniform for the parade. I looked good reviewing the troops.

Captain Keller was a reservist; his unit had been called up a year earlier. He hadn't been in the reviewing line. Earlier that day, he'd been severely injured by a roadside bomb. He was in a makeshift MASH unit, awaiting evacuation to a regional military hospital. And he was afraid he might lose his legs altogether. I went in to see him. For whatever reason I couldn't bring myself to leave his side that night. He was alone. We talked all night, or at least until they knocked him out.

I'd like to think I got to know what made him tick.

And here he is.

I didn't recognize his name, but the face, the man's courage in the face of war, I could never forget that. Strange I should meet him again here, in the middle of nowhere.

From what I can see, he's made amazing progress since Iraq.

So why did he leave his wife alone with two kids and a home near foreclosure? How could anyone walk out on those kids?

OoOoOo

That afternoon found Jack and Tony in the Kramer pick-up with Cindy belted in between them. The Kellers had decided Cindy needed to sleep in her own bed. Aaron was doing well and expected to be discharged within the next day or two. Jessica would stay with him while Tony cared for Cindy at home.

Besides, the farm needed attention, the cows needed to be fed and milked. And the corn, well the corn and fields need tending. Not that this was anything new these days.

With a bit of pleading, Jessica had arranged for a man from a neighboring farm to milk and feed the dozen cows in the Keller barn. Any further help would have cost monies the family could ill afford at this time. Jessica was delighted when Jack volunteered to stay on a few days to help out. Tony wasn't quite so thrilled, but he knew his family needed the help.

The drive back to the farm, without benefit of ambulance sirens, had taken nearly an hour. After a simple soup and sandwich supper, Tony set to the task of convincing his little girl it was bedtime. Left to her own devices, Cindy would've stayed up all night making sure her daddy wasn't going to leave again. So she did the next best thing. She made her new friend Jack promise to make him stay, at least till morning.

Four bedtime stories later, Cindy was fast asleep.

This left Tony and Jack to their own devices for the rest of the evening.

Since the Simpsons weren't on that night and the Kellers didn't have the DVD collection, the two stoic military types had plenty of time to catch up.

"Go ahead," Tony said as he handed Jack a beer and sat down with his own, "I know you want to ask."

Jack held out his hands and shrugged. He fancied himself the picture of naïve innocence.

"Who, me? Ask …?" Jack sputtered.

"How I could walk out on my little girl," Tony supplied.

"It's really not my business."

"Maybe not," Tony admitted. "But if you're gonna hang around and help us for awhile, I'd rather you understood what's going on with me. God knows Jessica doesn't get it."

"Tony, before you start, I'm not one to judge you," Jack said. "But you're right, I wonder."

"Yeah," Tony said. "Especially when my little girl thinks I'm gonna take off in the middle of the night when she's asleep. Don't think that doesn't get me."

"So …"

"I couldn't take it any more," Tony said, gesturing at his legs. "I wasn't any help around here. I couldn't do the work. I was a drain on them."

"You don't strike me as the kind to run out on his family," Jack stated as fact.

"I didn't see it that way," Tony said. "I thought I was doing them a favor."

"And that would be …"

"You saw me at that MASH unit," he said. "I had no movement in my legs. I'm not saying I'm ungrateful, but progress has been slow. I came back stateside six months ago. The VA kept me in rehab one month; then they sent me home. Said they'd work with me on an outpatient basis. Want to guess how far it is the nearest VA facility out here?"

Jack was willing to bet it wasn't very close by.

"Seventy five miles," Tony continued. "Cost of gas, added to my inability to drive at the beginning, well I didn't get there too often. I made progress on my own, again not quick enough. There's a lot of work to be done around here. When my unit was first called up, we were okay financially. We had a couple guys working part-time, keeping up the farm, doing the milking. After I was over there a year, well you know how things have been, investments went to hell…we had to let the guys go."

"See, that's part of what I don't get," Jack said. "How did you taking off help get the work done."

Tony snorted. "Of course it didn't help, but I wasn't contributing much being here either," he said. "Jessica was doing most of the manual labor; I was just something else for her to take care of. I was useless, unless you count the comic relief of tripping over my own two feet."

"I doubt your kids saw you as useless," Jack countered.

"Maybe it doesn't make sense, General, but I couldn't take it anymore. That look of pity on Jessica's face, the way she treated me like I was gonna break. Even the kids were careful around me, like they'd knock me over if they played around the house. I know you can't understand this, but I wasn't me anymore. I didn't know who the hell I was. I still don't. I'm supposed to take care of my family, provide for them. They're not supposed to have to take care of me. It's not right."

Jack felt as though the younger man were reading his mind, telling his story.

"I understand more than you think, Tony," Jack admitted.

"You don't think I'm a lousy father?"

"Like I said," Jack repeated, "I'm in no position to judge."

Tony nodded thoughtfully. Silently, he studied the man he remembered so clearly and so favorably from one chance meeting. Then he spoke his mind.

"Jessica told me you're passing through this way by yourself," Tony said. "I thought you told me about your wife that night, blond like Jessica wasn't she? She can't be too happy about your being gone."

"That's a story in itself, son," Jack said, bowing his head sadly, "that's a story in itself."

TBC

A/N: I want to take this opportunity to thank all my reviewers, especially my anonymous reviewers, who I never get the chance to respond to. You're all great and hearing from you is so encouraging.

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