Chapter X: The South Backwards Journey
Brendan and May left the Devon Cooperation, headed to the Pokemon Center so the two could heal their Pokemon, and then they went to the Pokemart so Brendan could stock up on supplies they would need. May even went inside with him this time so she could buy other crap she didn't need.
"Ooh Brendan," she said while dragging him to something that he had no idea what it was. "It's a travel shower," she said. "We could use a shower to bring on the go," she said.
"Well, how much does it cost," Brendan asked. "Because I also need to stock on more food for us and the Pokemon…"
"Um…30," she said. "Thousand Poke (A/N: When I say Poke, you pronounce it like Poke in Pokeball, or Pokemon. But if I just say poke, that means like poking with a finger.)," she said while smiling.
"Oh hell no," Brendan said. "What's more important, food for us to eat, or a damn shower?" he asked.
"Well," May said. "We can ask for a discount," May said. Brendan just loafed, but then just went with it.
"Sure May, I'll ask the man for a damn discount," he said. "Stupid bitch," he whispered under his breath.
"What did you call me," May asked. "Answer me before I kick you really hard in the nuts," she said while grabbing his collar. Brendan just closed his eyes and smile.
"I called you nothing, I just said I have an idea," Brendan lied.
"Well it sounded like you called me a bitch," she yelled while grabbing his collar even harder.
"I swear, I didn't call you that," he said.
"Well then, your going to hell," May said as she brought her foot up and kicked him in the shin. Brendan howled in pain and fell to the floor while holding his shin.
"Dammit, I missed," May said while taking the travel shower and going up to the front desk. "Excuse me," May said while putting it down on the counter.
"Why yes little lady," the man said while putting his arm on the counter beside the shower.
"Yes, um," May started. "Is there anyway that I and my hurt friend over there can't get a discount on this travel shower?" she asked while pointing to Brendan who was crying out in the back round and making a scene.
"Well, I donno, what's in it for me," he said while looking at her seductively. May dug into her bra (A/N: Ooh la la) and pulled out a little piece of paper.
"This coupon," she said while wagging it in his face. "That says that anything over 20,000P can be cut in half," she said. The man groaned and took the coupon in despair.
"Fine," he said. 15,000P please," he said. May took out some cash and counted it real quick.
"Oh, I'm short, may you hold on to that for me," she asked while smiling.
"Sure, why not," he said while setting it behind the counter. May went over to Brendan who was still holding his shin in pain. May reached into his pocket, pulled out some more Poke, then headed over to the counter and paid the man all of it.
"Thank you," she said while taking the receipt and the travel shower. "Get up Brendan, I didn't kick you that hard." She said.
"Shut the hell up," Brendan yelled while still holding his shin and yelling.
"Oh, hello Norman," May said knowing that Brendan would get up immediately. And she was right, because as soon as she said that, Brendan shot up from the ground and shook off all of the pain while looking by May.
"Where's my dad at," Brendan asked.
"I just said that so you could get up and buy some food for the trip, dur dur dur," she said while putting the travel shower in what seemed like Brendan's bottomless bag.
"Hey," he said. "Did we get the discount," he asked.
"By half," she said. "I paid for all of it, and now you can go buy us some good food." she said. After another 5 minutes spent buying pots, pans, ramen, canned foods, Potions, Super Potions, Antidotes, an Escape Rope, an X Speed, and an X Attack, May and Brendan headed out the Pokemart and were about to leave the city but someone came up to them. She was wearing a navy blue suit with a navy blue skirt; she had chestnut eyes, and had light brown hair.
"Hi," she said. "I heard that you rescued the Devon Goods, is that true," she asked while looking at Brendan.
"Yes it is," he said while grinning.
"Well, I wanted to give you this." She said. She handed Brendan a white Pokeball with a red line going through the middle.
"It's called a Premier Ball," she said. "It has the catching power of a Great Ball, but it looks cooler." She said.
"Cool, a Premier Ball huh," Brendan said while taking it and putting it in his Pokeball section of his bag. "Thanks Hun," he said while turning to leave the city. May left the city laughing at Brendan's comment…
Brendan and May went through Route 104 North again, but this time, Brendan got to battle the girl that he didn't last time. Her name was Haley, and Brendan gave her Shroomish and her Lotad the business with just his Slakoth. Afterwards, they passed the freaky flower shop again. Lucky for May, the old lady was on break, and she was asleep on her counter. Reentering the Petalburg Woods was pretty easy, because the guy that May punched out last time was came back, and he showed them the way.
"I'm not telling you how to get out of this forest, until you let me tap that ass," he said while looking at May. It was funny, because he had cast over his nose, and was talking like someone with their index finger and their thumb squeezing their nose.
"Do you want another cast on your face kid," May asked while showing him her fist.
"No, but if you knock me out, then you'll be lost, and if you don't let me tap it, I won't show you the way," he said. "So just let me squeeze it, and I'll show you through," he said. Brendan got a crazy idea that he knew would work.
"Let me just talk to her about it," Brendan said while pulling May over away from him. Brendan discussed his little plan with May, and she agreed to do it. Brendan then pulled out his Slakoth, quickly told it what to do, and they all went over to the bug catcher.
"Fine, I'll do it," May said. "But only if you wear this blind fold," she said while taking off her bandana and wrapping it around his eyes.
"Oh boy," he said while not giving it a second thought. May picked the Slakoth up, Slakoth lifted his tail, and May grinned.
"Okay, now just reach out," she said. The little boy reached out and squeezed the butt of the little Slakoth. Brendan had to put his hand over his mouth, and May let out a fake squeal. Then Brendan returned Slakoth, May took off the blind fold, and the kid was so happy.
"I'll show you out now," he said while grinning. "Man, I'm never going to wash this hand again," he said. Brendan and May looked at each other, and tried so hard not to laugh, and luckily it worked. For the next what seemed like all day, Brendan and May followed the kid.
"I'm so hungry," May said while holding her stomach. "Can we stop for some food?" she asked while looking at Brendan.
"Come on May," Brendan said. "We don't need any food; we're almost out of the woods, right kid?" Brendan asked.
"Yeah," he said. "We'll be out of the woods in another few hours going this way," he said while smiling and pointing the way.
"Food it is," Brendan said while closing his eyes and smiling. May and the kid decided to set up the picnic, while Brendan made up set up some pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, some soup, and some fruit. Then Brendan set up some food for all of the Pokemon. Then they released their Pokemon (the bug catcher only had a Nincada with him) and set up their paper plates of food. This took about 20 minutes to perfectly set this up, and May, Brendan, and the kid sat down on the picnic blanket.
"Um…may I help you," Brendan said.
"I'm gonna eat with you guys," the kid said.
"Uh…no one said that you're eating with us. Your Pokemon is more than welcome to eat with our Pokemon, but I can care less if you starve." Brendan said while his eyes were closed and he had a taste of his soup.
"But…" the kid said. "Fine, I just won't show you guys the rest of the way," he said while pouting.
"You don't have to," Brendan said. "You just pointed the way for us to go, and it only takes another hour," Brendan said while putting his spoon into his soup and eating some.
"But…aw come on!" he yelled. "I'm hungry please…" but he was caught off guard because Brendan had already thrown a PP and J sandwich bag at him. The kid then started to cry happily. "Tha…Thank you!" he yelled as he sat down and began to eat with the two…
After another couple of hours they all ate their food, and ended up at the Petalburg Woods entrance, or exit.
"Well," the kid said.
"Well what," Brendan said.
"Don't I at least get a thank you," he said.
"Aha, sike," May said while laughing.
"Well, at least I grabbed your butt," he said while grinning.
"Aha, sike again," May said.
"What do you mean," the kid asked in confusion. May and Brendan laughed, and Brendan pulled out his Slakoth.
"See this Slakoth here," Brendan said.
"Sure do," the bug catcher answered.
"Well, you had on a damn blindfold; so you actually touched my Slakoth's butt," Brendan said while grinning.
"And you said that you would never wash that hand again," May said while Brendan returned his Pokemon and they laughed while they headed out of the forest. When they got to Route 104 South, they heard the kid yelling out from the forest.
"I see the old hag's cottage," Brendan said while grabbing May's hand and running to the cottage.
"Brendan!" May screamed. Brendan just kept running, and finally got there about 45 seconds later. "Brendan!" May screamed once again.
"What May, were here," Brendan said annoyed.
"You're holding my hand," May said dully. Brendan reluctantly let go while yelling out "ewww," like a girl. "Now you sound plain preppy," May said in another dull tone. "Now let's get this old bag to take us to Dewford, and get on with it," May said. She knocked on the door, and after a few minutes, an old man came to the door.
"Oh, is this the delivery for 'Old Hags Monthly' Magazine," he asked with a goofy smile on his face.
"No," May said in a confused tone.
"Oh, then it's you Judy," he said while giving Brendan a hug. Brendan was squirming out of his grip while yelling.
"I'm not Judy, I'm Brendan dammit," Brendan said while squirming out of his grip.
"Menden," he said. "Oh, Menden, you're here to give me all those Poke you owe me right," he asked while holding out his hand.
"No you fking idiot, this is Bren-dan, they guy who saved your Peeko yesterday," Brendan said angrily.
"What he's trying to say is," May said breaking the tension. "This is the guy who saved your Pokemon back at Rusturf Tunnel," May said. Mr. Briney had a look of wonder onto his face for a while. Brendan even almost fell asleep, when he finally popped out.
"OH, BRENDAN," he said while grinning. "Yeah, you're the guy who had the balls enough to face Team Aqua and Team Fire," he said while smiling.
"Well of course I had the balls to do it," Brendan said while grinning. "And it's Team Magma."
"Well," May started. "Is it possible that we have a ride to Dewford Town," May said.
"I would but its sunset," the old man said. It takes about a day to get from here to Dewford Town…"
"So you won't do it," Brendan asked angrily. "And after I wasted my time and life to save your stupid…Peeko!" Brendan shouted.
"No," the old man said. "I meant to say that its sunset, and I'll let you stay here in my cottage until tomorrow, then I'll take you…"
"Cant we just go now," Brendan said. "We can go on your ship and…" Brendan was cut off because May whispered something in his ear. After a few seconds, smiled to the man while he closed his eyes.
"But I think your idea seems good," Brendan said. The old man let them into the cottage, and Brendan had a quick flashback on what May just whispered to him…
"Brendan you nincompoop," Brendan thought of what May told him. "If old man Briney does a night time boat drive, he could fall asleep on us, then drive off course, even crash into something, and then we'll all be screwed…Nincompoop? Now I'm starting to sound old…"
The cottage was nothing special; a kitchen, a living room with an old TV and an ripped couch, the Wingull the Brendan saved was flying around, and there were two rooms.
"You two can use this room," Mr. Briney said while bringing them to the closest room. When May and Brendan walked in, they were absolutely shocked on the room's appearance. I mean, what kind of sick, manipulating old guy would have a guest room for…anybody.
"Oh my Entei," May said while looking at this room in disgust.
"Oh my Kyogre," Brendan said while dropping bag. This room…had only one bed in it.
"Do you expect me to sleep in that bed…with Brendan," May said.
"Yeah oldie, have you ever heard of morning wood? Or wet dreams in the matter," Brendan asked. "When if I accidentally poked May with my stick, or soaked the bed, that would be…"
"Some absolute bull st," May answered for him.
"Yeah…you're supposed to say spit, not the real word." Brendan said.
"Oh yeah, sorry," May said.
"What's morning wood," the old man asked confusedly.
"You know…morning wood," Brendan said. "Guys get it all the time…morning WOOD…"
"Guys get it all the time?" Mr. Briney asked.
"If they see a hot girl, or something, like…sexual," Brendan said.
"So, if guys get it all the time if they see a hot girl or something sexual," Mr. Briney said while putting his index finger and thumb and putting it under his chin in an "I'm-thinking-here," kind of way.
"Yes," May said slowly.
"Then what about girls," he asked while looking at Brendan. May and Brendan did the anime fall and got up while glaring at Mr. Briney.
"Look," May said. "Do you know when a guy's thing stiffens," May yelled.
"Uh…" Mr. Briney said. After a moment of thinking, he looked at the two. "Yeah," he said. "Hasn't happened to me since I was 16," he said while thinking. "Oh, those were the days, there was this naughty flapper girl, and she was voting!" he yelled. "Oh boy, those were the days!"
"Oh hot, she was," Brendan asked excitingly.
"Yeah, and she even…" Mr. Briney was cut off because May yelled.
"Look," May yelled. "Can't Brendan sleep on the couch tonight," she asked while calming down.
"Sorry," Mr. Briney said. "But that couch is broken. I'm getting a new one, and if he slept on that thing, why, it would break," he said while smiling "And what's a wet dream, you still pee in the bed…
After another couple of hours Brendan, May, and their Pokemon ate dinner and went to bed. Brendan and May did end up sleeping together, but the thing was, they faced different directions (May really thought about the morning wood thing). May dreamed that she won all the ribbons in the Lilycove Contest Hall. She smiled in her sleep. Brendan was drooling all over the pillow he was using, and then smiled while saying "That makes 1ooo badges." Then, he grinned while having one of "those kind of dreams" of May. And, Brendan woke up the following morning with what he feared would happen.
"Damn," he said while standing up. Visible while his PJ's were on, a little (A/N: tee hee) stick was poking. Brendan grabbed his clothes, snuck quietly to the restroom, and did the morning routine. When he got out, he saw that May had her clothes in her arms, and looked like an absolute mess.
"You shower like a girl," she said while pushing him out of the way and going into the restroom. After another hour, she emerged happy, refreshed, then pissed when Brendan and Mr. Briney had their butts in front of her. Brendan's was pale compared to his face and hands at least. Mr. Briney's was wrinkly and had acne on it (although May didn't look directly at it).
"Crack kills, doesn't it," Brendan said while moving it around.
"You know," May said while grinning. "Your ass looks better than your own face," May said while winding up her hand and slapping his butt, hard.
"Ow," Brendan yelled while falling onto his knees and holding his butt in pain.
"Ha, you can't take an ass slapping like me," Mr. Briney said while coming closer to May. "Wanna slap my butt too," he asked kind of desperately. May looked another direction, but her foot came up and kicked Mr. Briney right in the nuts.
"Ow, my grapefruits," he said while holding his you know what while falling on his stomach.
"More like grapes," May said out loud while grabbing a plate and making some of the pre-made breakfast on the counter…
After another few minutes of breakfast and setting up the boat, May, Brendan, and Mr. Briney (the boat driver) set off to Dewford Town. It was a nice medium sized boat, with opaque windows. While sailing, May and Brendan released their Pokemon to enjoy the fresh air. Skitty was chasing her tail, Seedot and Wurmple were dancing (for some strange reason), Taillow and Heracross were flying, Slakoth took a nap Torchic chilled out, and Mudkip decided to jump out of the boat to take a swim. Nothing special happened today, except for the fact that Brendan and May hung out all day. They ate some of the prepared food, and returned their Pokemon at sunset.
"We'll be there at about sunrise tomorrow," Mr. Briney yelled from the top of the boat. Brendan didn't sleep that much that night. He slept for about 5 hours, and then checked his PokeGear time; 4:30. Brendan decided to go out to the poop deck, and look at the water in a dark setting. He saw the light ahead of the boat (Mr. Briney) then looked out to the water. It was pretty beautiful from where he was at. He kept staring out into the water, and then a voice behind him broke his thoughts.
"Couldn't sleep either huh," May asked while coming up from behind him.
"Nope," Brendan said while looking at the water.
"So, what's on your mind," she asked. After a moment of silence, he decided to answer.
"Well, I've been thinking about my cousin in Goldenrod City," he said.
"Who was your cousin," May asked.
"Some whack job, her name was Whitney," he said. "She was the Gym Leader, and because of that, she'd always come over my house, showing off her stupid Pokemon," he said. "She was always arrogant, nothing like my father," Brendan said.
"So, basically she was a stupid bitch," May asked.
"Well, yeah," Brendan said. "She'd laugh at me and joke me about stupid things. The only thing that I could joke her about was her pink hair, and now look at mine," Brendan said while pointing to the top of his head.
"Oh," May said. "Did your cousin always joke you," May asked.
"All the time," Brendan said.
"And she was the gym leader of Goldenrod City?" May asked.
"Yup," Brendan answered. "And wanna know what else sucked." Brendan asked.
"What," May answered.
"Her reputation in that city was 'Oh that Whitney, she's such an angel,'" Brendan said in a mocking voice. "After I journey in Hoenn, I'm going to go back to Goldenrod, and show her a thing or two about Pokemon training," Brendan said.
"And I'll go with you so you don't do anything stupid," May said while smiling at him.
"You will," Brendan asked with a smile.
"You bet," May said while smiling. "I've never been to Johto, that'll be so cool," she said. The two talked for another few hours, then a bell rang on top of the ship, then Mr. Briney yelled on a mega phone.
"LAND HO," he yelled. "DEWFORD TOWN APPROACHES!" he yelled. Brendan then just noticed the sunrise happening. Then the two left the poop deck and looked at the direction where the boat was going. Ahead of them, were some skyscrapers, Brendan saw the Pokemon Center, and a huge fist that said "Pokemon Gym," on it. They had hit Dewford Town at last…
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Another Chapter folks. I don't know why I added the mooning part, but it just popped into my head as an idea. And the exaggeration of the one bed part, once again, no clue. Please review the story, tell me what you think of it. Next Chapter name is unknown of yet, but I know that Brendan fights Brawly, and a Pokemon evolves, ooh. Read next chappie to find out. Thank you.