A/N: A million apologies for the long delay between updates. I decided to concentrate on finishing my first story, Never Forget Me. Now that it's complete, I can update this one. It's nice to know people still care about this one; I got several PMs and reviews asking when the next chapter would be ready. Well, it finally is! And just to reassure the people who have written me concerned that I've abandoned this story: not going to happen. I envision this as a story that I can work on for many, many more chapters. However, as a warning I have outlined an idea that I plan to write up for the Holiday Ficathon. So this will once again not be the only story I've got going. Sorry.

They both got much better sleep that night. Patti was back for the night and was able to continue increasing the formula drip overnight without any complications.

Rick actually felt nearly back to normal after a decent night's sleep. The couch still wasn't the most comfortable bed he could imagine, but it was so much better than the chairs he'd been sleeping on in the ICU that he'd noticed a dramatic difference in just a few days.

Alexis had brought his suitcases from the hotel before they had all checked out. He could use the bathroom in Kate's private room. Thus, there was no need to leave her side at all. He had no intention of leaving her alone at any point, so he was glad no one objected to his basically living in her room.

Patti had given her Zofran just before change of shift, so he hoped that the nausea would be controllable for the beginning of their morning. Kate was still sleeping when the nurses came into the room for their brief changeover.

He was pleased to find Michelle back as their day nurse. He didn't mind meeting new people and the nursing staff had been excellent so far, but it was comforting to deal with someone you already knew, even though it was just for the previous day. He trusted Michelle; she was excellent in her manner and meticulous in her care of Kate. It made him feel more relaxed that she and Patti had been watching over them.

Shortly after changeover with Patti, Michelle returned to speak briefly with him.

"I'm bumping the formula up to the final setting now. I'll turn off her fluids completely and when she wakes up I can lock her IV. She'll be able to shower if she wants and you two could take some walks later, depending on how she feels."

"I'm sure she'll be ecstatic if she can shower."

"Yes, I'll have to turn off the feeding pump briefly, but it won't matter in the short time it takes to shower. If you guys do go out, it's all you'll have to take with you."

He thought the idea of being out of the room would be intoxicating to her. No matter how brief. It was a sign she was improving, getting closer to discharge.

Rick spent the next half hour sitting in his chair just watching Kate. She looked more like herself. The translucent appearance of her skin had decreased and the exhaustion evident previously on her face was erased while she slept. She had more color. She just looked healthier.

He loved watching her, loved staring at her when she wasn't' aware. She called it creepy, he called it love. He especially cherished the times when he could watch her stir awake. Her eyelids twitched a bit more and the lashes fluttered. She might rustle around a bit here and there, stretching after a long night.

Sometimes she reminded him of a cat as it woke from a nap. She'd curl up while sleeping, especially if he was in the bed with her. The process of waking up involved unfolding those long legs, moving those long arms and finally opening her eyes.

Today, when her eyes finally opened he was relieved to see that she seemed entirely with him. The last few days it seemed like a lot of her waking time she was fixated to some degree internally as she fought to keep from throwing up. Maybe the Zofran was really working for her.

"Morning Castle."

"Morning beautiful. How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"You look better. Michelle is here again."

She nodded, pleased it was someone she knew.

"She's already been in and adjusted the formula to the final setting. She said if you did ok when you woke up that she could lock your IV. You'll be somewhat mobile."

He gave a big grin, unable to suppress his happiness that she might be able to get up.

"She even said you could shower."

His words galvanized her; the next thing he knew she was trying to climb out of the bed by herself.

"Kate, stop. Let me get Michelle so we can get the IV locked first."

She let out a huff, irritated at the delay. A shower sounded so heavenly.

Once Michelle had everything arranged, including a covering over the IV site, it was time for Kate to try and stand. She'd not been on her feet much since her admission.

She'd stood briefly with assistance when transferring back and forth from the wheelchair. And there was a bedside commode for her other needs. But walking, even steps? Not yet done.

With Michelle and Castle on either side, she stood. It was demoralizing how weak she felt. Her legs started trembling with the effort and for the first time that day she started to feel nauseous.

Shuffling forward, she felt like she was moving at a snail's pace. After two or three steps she suddenly realized she wasn't going to make it. Rick had felt her trembling and had already steadied her with a hand around her waist and the other supporting her arm.

He looked down at her as she stopped her hesitant forward progress and knew she needed more help.

"Just lean into me. I've got you."

He reached around even further and nearly lifted her off the ground. He was so strong; it shouldn't surprise her that he can do this, but it does.

She relaxed into him and he carried her the few steps to the bathroom. There was a chair sitting in the shower that she gratefully collapsed onto.

"Here is shampoo, conditioner and soap. Do you want me to help you or Mr. Castle?"

Rick was watching her closely and knew before she said anything that she wanted him to help her with the shower. It was a mark of how far she'd come to rely on him; she didn't like to be vulnerable. He'd known that forever. He couldn't think of a way for her to tell him how much she trusted him beyond her letting him help her like this. He needed to do it for her, wanted to do it for her. And she was letting him.

Once Michelle cautioned him about keeping the tape on the IV site dry and not washing around the tape under her nose that held the NJ tube, she left the room. There were towels and fresh hospital gowns for her to change into.

"Rick, you'd better get a bowl for me to puke in if I need to."

He looked at her questioningly for a second and saw the battle she was fighting with her body. He gave a silent nod and disappeared quickly into the room, returning with an emesis basin. He sat it down in her lap, then carefully pulled her and the chair back away from the shower head.

Closing the door completely, he quickly undressed and then turned on the shower. He helped Kate out of her gown and once he was satisfied with the temperature, moved the chair carefully into the stream. It felt so good to feel the water washing away all the sweat and grime that had become a part of her over the last few days.

Rick was so gentle with her; he wet her hair down and then gently cleaned it with the shampoo. It was a mess, having not been washed since she'd been found in the apartment with a pool of vomit covering her.

She was able to relax to the point of sleepiness and even her traitorous stomach stopped protesting as much.

After she'd been soaped up and rinsed off, he quickly washed himself before turning off the water. He dried her skin carefully, wrapping her long hair in a towel, and then redressed her. She was now too tired to stand, so after he dressed he carried her back to her bed which had fresh sheets courtesy of Michelle. He sat down first and swung her in front of him so that she was supported by the v of his legs. He gently rubbed her hair down with the towel, getting excess water out and then started carefully combing it out. This took quite a while due to all the snarls in it, but eventually everything was detangled and Kate was ready to drop from exhaustion.

"Kate, I'm going to get up and let you sleep."

She murmured a protest. She felt so safe and warm cocooned in his arms and legs.

"I'd love to stay and hold you but I need to make some phone calls and you need to sleep."

He carefully extricated himself and settled her into the bed. She was asleep almost instantaneously, snuggled into the blankets.

Michelle re-entered the room a few minutes later and restarted the tube feeds. Kate never stirred.

"Did she vomit when you were showering?"

"No, she thought she was going to but once the water started working its magic she relaxed and did fine."

Michelle turned to go, but just as she was about to reach for the door, it opened from the other side and Dr. Hill walked in.

"How's Kate doing today?"

"She just got her first shower and is taking a nap."

"I saw in the chart that she's up to full volume on the feeds?" the doctor looked at Michelle who confirmed the information.

"Great. How is the nausea?"

"Well, from what I see and what she's told me she still has to fight it quite a bit, but with the Zofran she can usually hold it in. Today in the shower she asked me to get a basin; the attempt to walk made her pretty nauseous, but once in the shower she felt better and she never did vomit."

"Good. She's making progress then. I'll come by this afternoon to examine her. In the meantime I see that Michelle has locked the IV; you can take her out around the halls if you want."

Rick nodded. He'd been fairly worried about a few issues and decided now was the time to ask.

"Dr. Hill, when Michelle and I got her up to go shower she took maybe 2 steps before I had to carry her. She seems so weak. Is this a concern?"

"Well, think about how far she's come. Not many days ago she was as close to death as you can imagine. I'm sure you used to seeing her in great physical shape, being a cop and all. But this illness has put her through the wringer. So, no, I'm not surprised. She's going to need some form of rehab to help her regain all her strength. And she can only do that if she's not vomiting constantly. So it will be a bit of a balancing act."

"Are there certain criteria she'll have to meet before you'll let her go home?"

"You mean like she can walk alone? No, I'm sure you'll be able to provide as much help as she needs once she's released."

"When will she be able to go back to New York and can she fly?"

"Well, I'll release her to go to New York once I'm ready to discharge her. However, flying will be tricky. If you fly commercially you'll have to shut off the feeds as the Kangaroo, the pump that runs the continuous feeds, won't be allowed to run during a flight. That's not a big deal, as we'll have you turn off the feeds for things like using the shower, but it does mean you have to have plans around travelling with durable medical equipment. As far as flying, it's clearly faster in terms of point a to point b than driving. I will caution you though that going through security and the stress of a flight may not be easy for her."

"What about a charter flight?"

"I can't speak for what you should do, but that would clearly be much easier than a commercial flight. And I think driving could be ok; D.C. and New York aren't that far apart after all. But that will take longer, especially with traffic issues. So there is no perfect solution."

"I can't imagine Kate would be willing to go through a commercial flight." He shuddered. She'd absolutely hate the stares she'd get: in a wheelchair, feeding tube taped to her nose with no way to hide it. Having to clear security, etc.

No, there was no way a commercial flight would be an option. This was one of the times he was especially thankful at how successful he'd become. He could arrange a charter flight without thinking twice about the prohibitive cost.

"When do you think she'll be ready to go home?"

"She hasn't been weighed yet?" the doctor was looking at Michelle, who was shaking her head.

"No, she really wanted the shower. I'll weigh her as soon as she wakes up from this nap."

"Ok, well if she shows good weight gain over the next few days and is able to control her nausea to some degree, then we'll have you out of here in a few days. She'll need a high risk obstetrician to follow her; I'll get you some names. You'll need to decide on one before you leave as she'll need to be seen very quickly and will need someone in New York to agree to be responsible for her medical care. I will call the physician you choose and let them know what's happened on this end."

Rick nodded. There was a lot to do before they would be able to get home. He knew he could rely on their family and friends in New York, but here in DC he was alone. He resolved to start making phone calls for everything from their charter flight to her job after Dr. Hill left.

With a promise to email the list of high risk OBs she would recommend, Dr. Hill took her leave. Rick got his laptop out and using the hospitals free wifi started looking for charter services that would be able to make her trip home comfortable.

An hour later, he'd hammered out an agreement with an air service that had seats that could lie down if needed and they flew from Reagan to LaGuardia. Now he just needed a date and time and they'd be set.

He'd decided to wait on calling her work; she'd seemed very clear about her wishes, but he didn't want to overstep. Maybe she'd want to talk to them? He wasn't totally sure, and it wasn't an emergent matter, so he waited for her to wake up.

He got the email from Dr. Hill and sent it on to Lanie, asking if she knew anyone on the list. He hoped to hear from her soon so he could get the ball rolling for the transfer of care.

Michelle had also told him that if Kate did gain weight and wasn't too sick that he and Kate would need to be taught how to use the Kangaroo pump. He could teach the others in turn.

Two hours later, nearing 10 am, Kate finally stirred. He was still working on his laptop, writing some ideas down this time. The hospital had been a cornucopia of new scenes and information.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself Sleeping Beauty. How are you feeling?"

"Ok. Clean. That feels good."

"Great. Michelle is anxious to weigh you and Dr. Hill stopped by."

He caught her up on the conversation that he'd had with the OB after ringing the call button for Michelle. She came in before Kate had a chance to ask many questions.

"Ok Kate, we need to get you weighed. It's a seated scale, so let me go grab it and we'll get that part done."

Rick helped Michelle get everything out of the way as the scale was a bit bulky and awkward in the space. Once it was in place, he helped Kate sit up and stand at her bedside. She was still very weak and trembled as soon as she was upright. Luckily the weight was done quickly and they were able to celebrate a gain of 500 grams.

It didn't seem like much, but Michelle reassured them that it was a victory. She reminded them that the formula had only been turned up to the goal rate this morning, so by gaining any weight without it at full effect was pretty good. Once Rick realized this he felt great about the whole situation and started to hope it would just be a few days before they'd be back in New York.

Once Michelle left them again, he gave Kate a big kiss. It was a little weird with the tape on her NJ tube positioned just above her upper lip, but they would have to learn to kiss around it.

"Maybe it won't be much longer."

She sighed. "I can't even stand alone. What are we going to do?"

"You'll get stronger. You'll have physical therapy once the nausea is under control. And we have so many people who want to help."

He saw her withdrawal immediately. He'd known she'd probably object to this and was prepared, for once.

"Kate, you don't seriously want to stay here do you?"

"No." Whispered.

"Would you prefer that I hire some nurses to take care of you? We could do that."

It was an option. They might have to anyway, depending on how long she was so debilitated.

"No. I don't want strangers in the loft with us."

"Well, then we don't have much choice do we. I can't do it all by myself. You know I'll do anything I can for you, but I'll have to sleep some. And you know they all want to help. Let them show you how much they love you. They want to do this and you need to let them."

He was right and he saw that she recognized that it was important. Help for all they would be going through and a chance to let their friends protect her for a while.

"I just hate being dependent. This sucks Castle." Tears were welling up. That and the use of his last name told him she was really on edge right now. He moved closer to her, not letting her distance herself. Leaning over her, he reached out and smoothed her hair back, caressing her face.

"I know Kate, I know. And believe me I know how hard you've worked to let me in, to let yourself be vulnerable to me. I love you so much. You're going through so much to keep our babies safe and happy. You're going to be a fantastic mother; in fact you already are. Because you'll willingly sacrifice your comfort and well-being for their sake."

He kissed her forehead softly and wiped the tears that were now spilling down her cheeks.

"Thank you Rick. I needed that. Please keep reminding me. Sometimes I forget the big picture."

"That's what I'm here for, don't worry."

They discussed the arrangements he'd already made. She objected initially to the charter flight until he made her see how uncomfortable a commercial flight would be. She was relieved that they wouldn't be driving; she'd thought that would be the only option and was dreading it, certain the motion would exacerbate her nausea.

She asked him to call the Attorney General's office. She didn't want to deal with them and had no desire to soothe her departure. No future imaginable included a federal job; she'd completely lost any taste for that life.

He asked if she wanted or needed anything from the condo, but she couldn't think of anything. They agreed to have a moving company go box everything up (although she'd honestly not unpacked a ton yet) and have it shipped to the loft later in the week.

By the time her next Zofran dose was due, they had a made plans to wrap everything they needed to in DC so they wouldn't need to do anything after her eventual discharge. She decided to take another nap after Michelle finished giving her the medicine. It was still IV, but Michelle thought if she continued to show no signs of vomiting that Dr. Hill would switch it to a liquid that could be run through the NJ. It would be another measurable step to freedom.

Kate wanted to nap again and Rick wanted to grab some lunch. He left her in search of the cafeteria, which was surprisingly good. Lanie had answered his email about the OB specialist; she knew two of them and thought they were both great choices. Rick figured the one with offices closest to their home would make the most sense.

When he returned to their room Kate was still sleeping. He watched her for a while, struck anew how good she looked compared to even yesterday. With her hair freshly washed and the color still in her cheeks he could almost imagine that she hadn't been sick.

Almost. Except for the hollows in her cheeks, the dark bags still under her eyes. Picking her up today had really driven home how much weight she'd lost. She was still skeletally thing, but he knew that this was a complication they could overcome. As long as the Zofran continued to work and she tolerated the formula.

She woke up again around 1:30pm and just as they were about to ask Michelle for a wheelchair so they could take a trip out of the room, the door opened and Dr. Hill returned.

A quick examination and a rehashing of the mornings conversation satisfied Kate. Dr. Hill was pleased with her weight gain and they were able to pin down a commitment for discharge: gain weight for 3 more days and she'd be released.

Rick gave Dr. Hill the name of the specialist they'd chosen and she had them sign a release of information so she could talk to the doctor about their case directly. Dr. Hill didn't think there would be any problems getting the new physician, a Doctor Lobato, to accept Kate and the twins as a new patient.

After Dr. Hill took her leave, Rick got a wheelchair from the front desk. They both knew as much as she'd love to walk it just wasn't in the cards yet. He was able to get her settled without any help from Michelle, even able to get the feeding pump ready for the trip after Michelle had explained how to do so earlier.

He wheeled her carefully down to the lobby. First they visited the gift shop where she picked out some crossword type books. There were some baby outfits too, so Rick made sure to pretend to be crazy over them just to try and get her to laugh. He hadn't heard her sound happy since she'd woken up from her coma and he was desperate to hear her sounding carefree and joyful again.

After the gift shop, they wandered around the first floor. He showed her the cafeteria and for a few minutes they sat in front of a large window where the sun was pouring through. She put her head back, eyes closed, relaxed in the warm touch of the sun.

He'd been worried she'd be self-conscious about the NJ tube, but she didn't seem to even think about it much. He was so proud of her.

After the sun, he could tell she needed to go back to the room. Her eyes were starting to get the pinched look around them that meant she was over tired and that her fight against the nausea might be losing.

Back in the room he got her into the bed without too much difficulty. She immediately closed her eyes and he knew she was trying to keep from puking. For once it was a fight she won and she slowly drifted into sleep again.

Rick decided to take the time while she was sleeping to call her office. He was transferred around an infuriating number of times before finally reaching the phone of someone who knew who she was.

Ultimately he was transferred to her boss. He'd never met the man, but Kate had mentioned him a few times. He seemed humorless. Rick decided that would make the whole thing easier.

"How is Agent Beckett doing?"

"She's improved dramatically. Unfortunately, she is still very weak and is unable to eat anything solid. They are recommending bed rest for the time being."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a minute and Rick began to worry he'd been cut off.

"Hello?"

"Yes Mr. Castle, I'm still here. I had no idea she was so sick. Is there a time frame for her recovery?"

Rick knew the man had no idea of her diagnosis; Kate hadn't really thought it necessary that he tell them. He'd been uncomfortable with the idea that he couldn't tell them, so they'd agreed that if asked he wouldn't lie. Kate was sure that they wouldn't ask. Castle had thought she was being dramatic, but now he realized she'd been right. They only cared when she was coming back.

"Not really. We've been told this will be months before she completely recovers."

More silence. Rick knew the man on the other end of the phone was wondering how to break it to him that Beckett couldn't come back, that they wouldn't hold her spot, but he didn't care. He didn't want to make it easier on the man. Didn't think he deserved it.

"Mr. Castle, I'm not sure we can hold her job that long."

"You know, I didn't think you'd be able to. She's not awake for long periods of time, but we did have a conversation about this during one of her lucid moments."

Might as well make the guy really sweat. It was true that Beckett slept a lot but he was really pushing it with the lucid comment.

"She understands. From what I understand of her condition it is something that is life-altering. I think she's come to terms that her career with the federal government has come to an end."

After some false platitudes the other man rang off. Rick was glad that phase of their life was over. Kate had told him he could let Agent Murray know about the pregnancy; she'd been so much help to them in their hour of need that they felt she deserved the truth. However, she didn't want the rest of the office to know, mainly due to her deep seated need from privacy and a lack of confidantes in the ranks.

All his tasks done, Rick returned to her room. Everything was coming together. Finally. They deserved some good luck from the universe. He was just glad it seemed that everything was back on track and he could see a light at the end of the very long tunnel they'd just traversed. He was ready to get the love of his life and his children back to New York.