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"Saiko?" Urie calls. It's now been two weeks since Tooru started acting strange, and now Urie's the one who can't sleep at night, his concerns whirling and tumbling through his mind and landing in tense pockets in his shoulders and in his spine.
"Yes, Urie?" Saiko calls, bouncing over to him. She even sets her phone down. Touka waves as she brews some coffee for what look like new customers. Human customers. Well then.
People might be coming around after all.
"Here you go," Touka says, serving Urie his usual order. He thanks her and sits down across from Saiko. Shirazu waves as he arrives.
"Hi Mom," Shirazu calls to Touka.
"I'll dump coffee on your face," she threatens, handing him his cup.
Shirazu leaves a generous tip and heads over to sit with Urie and Saiko. "So, what's up, Urie?"
Urie swallows. I need to say it. I can't ignore it this time. "I'm worried about Tooru."
Shirazu rolls his eyes. "You're his husband, Urie. Can't you talk to him instead of to us?"
"Did he tell you anything?" Urie presses.
"No," mumbles Shirazu.
You've noticed, haven't you? The weird way he's been acting, all secretive?
Saiko gulps her hot chocolate. "I'm worried too."
"It's like he feels like he's alone again, so he's isolating himself," Urie admits.
"Maybe we can try to talk to him," Saiko suggests. "You and Shirazu and me, and maybe Kaneki and Juuzou too—Tooru's close with them."
Urie grits his teeth. Takeomi strides into :re, his arms around Yoriko's waist. He waves at Urie, Shirazu, and Saiko, and, coffee burning his esophagus, Urie waves back. They may have buried the hatchet, or at least Urie has because Takeomi never really thought there was one, but sometimes Urie still feels inadequate.
We're not magically healed, Urie thinks. I'm not, and it's okay that Tooru's not. If he's struggling, I want to be there.
And to do that, he has to take several steps. Urie groans. "Okay."
"Great!" Saiko grabs her phone.
"You'll have to finally tell the others, though," Shirazu says. "About—you know. The fact that you eloped."
"I'm fine with that." No more hiding. He doesn't care what they say—not that he ever did, not about this, but Tooru wanted to keep things quiet and Urie didn't mind. There was so much going on then, with Nishiki and Kimi and Amon and Akira all having kids.
Kaneki and Juuzou agree to meet around lunch. Tooru texts that he's visiting Karren.
"Maybe he's trying to remember something that Karren might know about," Saiko speculates when they meet again. Tears fill her eyes. "Poor Tooru."
"So what exactly has been going on?" Kaneki wants to know as he slides into a booth. He looks enviously at Juuzou's sandwich.
"Well," says Urie, glancing at Shirazu, who grimaces. Juuzou blows bubbles in his soda. "Tooru and I got married a few months ago."
Juuzou hacks, spluttering. He shoves the soda away and gasps for air.
"I'm sorry, what?" asks Kaneki, sitting as straight as a soldier.
"We went to a court," says Urie. "We wanted it low-key. It was the day Akira had Seidou."
"I attended as a witness," Shirazu confirms.
"It was very informal and yet also very sweet," Saiko says with a sigh, sipping another hot chocolate.
"Yes, thank you," Urie snaps.
"Why didn't you tell us?" shrieks Juuzou. "This is—betrayal!"
"Hsiao's going to be pretty mad at me for not telling," Saiko admits.
"You got married?" Kaneki's eyes pop.
"Yes, keep with the program," retorts Urie.
Kaneki covers his face with his hands.
"What, does it make you feel old?" Urie can't resist asking. Shirazu kicks him under the table. "Ow!"
"I'm happy for you," Kaneki ekes out, lowering his hands. One kakugan glistens. "But I will say this, Urie Kuki: if you mess with Mutsuki—I mean, Tooru—"
"Urie Tooru," Saiko confirms.
"I will mess with you," Kaneki finishes. "Deal?"
"Why would I want to mess with him?" Urie snarls. "I love him!"
"I know you do," Kaneki says. "I just—I still am in shock. This is shocking."
"It is," agrees Juuzou, biting his straw. "We've been calling Tooru by the wrong name!"
"I have half a mind to disown you," Kaneki moans. "My children are out of control."
"We're not really your kids," Urie snaps.
"Still."
"Bite your tongue," Shirazu tells Urie.
"Tooru's been acting strange," Urie says, twisting his shirt. I'm adopting Tooru's habits. The thought warms him. "I want to—talk to him. Help him. I think he might be having some dissociation again, and that's always terrifying for him—he can't remember what's happened—I think he thinks hanging around with Karren will help because she can keep him in line, or— but if we all let him know that we don't care, or we care because it's upsetting him but we want to be there for him, it might help."
"Do you think he's worried he's hurt someone?" asks Kaneki.
Urie nods. Whenever Tooru remembers his family, or the people he killed as a ghoul, he gets a strange look of disgust on his face: his lips pull back, and his eyes widen, his brows pinch. He's been wearing that look nonstop the past week.
"We'll help you," Kaneki vows. "We'll show Tooru he's not alone."
"You're here again."
Tooru peers up from where he's seated on the plush couch. Tsukiyama leans against the wall, his purple locks glinting against his cheekbones. Karren raises her eyebrows.
"Kaneki said he wanted to talk to you about something," Tsukiyama says. "How're you feeling, Karren?"
"Still no nausea today," Karren reports. "Rosebud might not kill me after all."
Tsukiyama's jaw drops. "You better not die! Ma chère! Whatever would I do?"
"Be a single father," Karren teases.
Tsukiyama looks almost as if he's about to cry at the thought of Karren dying. She leaps to her feet and pulls him close, her lips covering his.
"I'll get going," Tooru says, scrambling up.
Tell him soon, Karren advised.
I'm just so scared. Not of Urie's reaction. Of himself.
I can help you, she offered.
"Do you want me to walk you back?" Karren prompts, pulling back. Tsukiyama frowns, his arms around Karren's waist.
"It's okay," says Tooru.
"Okay, I'm coming," decides Karren.
Tsukiyama's eyes narrow. "Are you pregnant?"
Tooru flushes. Do you think I'm—
"Our child will have a built-in best friend, then," Tsukiyama declares. "Though we'll have to teach Rosebud not to chew on his or her friends. I'll get our coats, Karren."
You're coming too? Tooru blanches.
"Shuu, he hasn't told anyone else yet, besides Kimi, and including his husband," Karren calls. "Aura doesn't count," she adds under her breath.
Tooru smirks. "I need to be the one to tell him," he says.
Tsukiyama nods as he hands Karren her coat and wraps her scarf around her neck for her. "Well, Karren and I are happy for you. And Rosebud is too, or will be one day when he or she realizes they have a friend. So I'm sure Urie will be in a panicked tense ball of anxiety for the next—seven or eight months—but happy underneath."
Karren shrugs. "Pretty much."
Tooru actually laughs. "Seven months."
The cold air chafes at his nose as they hurry along. He notices Karren's hand interlaced with Tsukiyama and wonders if Tsukiyama plans on buying Karren a certain piece of diamond jewelry for Christmas. Tooru would bet money on it, and also on the fact that it'll likely be as big as Karren's finger. When they get to the apartment Tooru shares with Urie, his heart picks up pace.
"Breathe," Karren orders. "But just so you know, we won't say anything for you." She elbows Shuu to reinforce that point. He nods.
Tooru turns the keys, but the door's already unlocked. His heart pounds.
"Wow," Tsukiyama remarks as the three of them enter. Urie, Kaneki, and Saiko sit on their secondhand couch; Juuzou sprawls on their armchair, kicking his legs up. Shirazu leans against the wall. Several empty coffee cups sit on the table. Karren's nose wrinkles. "Party at the Uries'."
"Um—" Tooru begins, but Kaneki interrupts.
"Urie told us you got married, M—Tooru." He smiles at him. "Congratulations. And also—"
"Don't start," Shirazu snaps.
"I'm insulted you didn't invite me, Tooru," calls Juuzou.
Urie squeezes his knees, his mouth disappearing into a flat line as he looks at the floor. Tooru's heart sinks. He grips his coat, fingers brushing the sweater over his stomach. "S-sorry."
"It's fine," chirps Saiko.
"You were invited," Juuzou points out, flopping back over and straightening up. "But, in all seriousness, Tooru, we want to talk to you."
Karren's eyes widen as she looks at Tooru.
They know? How do they know? Did Aura say something, or Kimi? Tooru nods. Who's going to say it? Silence reigns. The clock ticks and tocks, each second a lash against Tooru's scarred back. His eyes latch onto his husband. He's got to be hurt I waited to tell him. "Urie—I'm sorry I—"
"Don't be sorry," Urie interrupts, getting to his feet. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Tooru. It's not your fault."
Fault?
So you're not happy?
You have the same worries I do, don't you?
"I'm glad Karren can help you," adds Urie. "But Tooru, I meant it when I married you—" He gulps, face turning purple. "Your problems are my problems, and mine are yours too, so—"
"You're not alone," Shirazu interrupts. "We all want to help you."
Oh. Tooru blinks.
"When you dissociate, we don't think of you are someone else, as someone disgusting," Kaneki says. "No matter what you've done."
"You matter more to us than Goat," says Juuzou.
Wait—what? Tooru feels as if hands are wrapping around his neck. "I—"
"If you dissociated and did something, Tooru, you can tell me," Urie blurts out. "There's nothing that would make me stop loving you—" He looks so self-conscious.
Tsukiyama suddenly cringes.
You think I'm—"What is this?" Tooru asks, voice trembling.
"Friends who care," says Saiko, smiling gently.
"You think I've been losing it?" Tooru cries out. You won't think I'm fit to carry a kid, will you? I'm hopeless! Anger and fear, sadness and repulsion streak through him, irrational and disorienting.
"I just—" Urie starts. "I can tell you've been keeping something from me—"
"Oh shit," mutters Karren.
"Is this an honest-to-goodness kindhearted but misguided intervention?" demands Tsukiyama. He pushes his hair back from his forehead.
"Misguided?" Kaneki scowls.
"Yes, I've been keeping something from you, Kuki!" Tooru shouts. The words bubble inside of him, shame and terror searing his chest. "But not—that! I haven't dissociated—I don't think—" He looks at Karren, who nods at him. "I'm pregnant!"
The words sling through the air. Saiko gasps. Juuzou's jaw plummets open. Shirazu clutches the armrest on Juuzou's chair to keep from toppling over. Kaneki claps his hands to his face, and Urie—Urie freezes.
Tooru turns and runs, slamming the bedroom door behind him.
Pregnant?
With a baby?
"We've been sharing pregnancy woes," Karren explains. Kaneki looks frozen, except for his eyes, which latch on to Urie.
With my baby?
"How could you not know?" Shirazu shrieks, turning to Urie.
"I feel terrible!" cries Saiko.
I feel like scum. Urie stares at the closed door. I am truly the worst husband ever.
How did this even happen?
"Aren't you going to move, Oreo Cookie?" asks Tsukiyama, flicking his hair.
"Tsukiyama!" complains Saiko as Urie's feet spur him forwards, barreling into the bedroom. The door slams again.
Tooru lies huddled on the bed, curled into a fetal position with his face buried in a pillow. His shoulders tremble. His left leg twitches, and Urie's heart shatters.
"I'm sorry," he croaks.
Tooru sniffles. "What for? I'm the one who—I didn't tell you—I was—scared—"
Urie climbs onto the bed, lying down next to Tooru. His husband rolls over to face him, tears sticky on his face. Green strands of hair latch onto his cheeks. He squeezes his eyes shut, and Urie realizes what Tooru's afraid of. Exactly what I just accused you of.
I love you. Urie kisses his closed eyes, and Tooru bites back a laugh. "I'm so—" He stops herself.
"Are you sure?" Urie asks him, forehead resting against Tooru's. "Do you want to do this?" Are you comfortable looking this much like a woman?
"I want your baby, Kuki," Tooru snaps. Fire sizzles in his voice. "My baby. But I'm so—I'm the worst candidate for parenthood."
"No, Takeomi exists."
"Oh God, not again." Tooru scowls at him. "He'd be better than me."
"Well, there's no person I'd rather raise a kid with."
"Really?" Tooru peers up at him. "You want this baby?"
"Yeah, but I'm—you know. Feeling similarly." Terrified.
"I'm nine weeks," Tooru says. "Kimi knows."
Nine weeks. "How long have you known?"
"One week for certain, three if you count the two I was suspicious."
Urie reaches out for Tooru, hands pressing against Tooru's stomach. "Neither of us is gonna be perfect, but you're not allowed to quote me on that."
Tooru laughs. "I'm really sorry."
"I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions."
"They were valid conclusions, though." Tooru swallows. "Kimi says it's possible hormones could mess with my mind, although also possible they won't."
"I'll still be here."
"I love you," Tooru whispers. Urie's face hovers above his. He puts his thumb over Tooru's lips, and Tooru closes his mouth over it. Urie sucks in his breath. His lungs quiver.
Tooru lets him go. "We should get back out there before they think we're getting it on."
Urie groans, his stomach a bundle of knots. "Tsukiyama probably has his ear pressed against the door."
Tooru blanches and scrambles for the knob. Urie rushes after him. They both fling it open to find Tsukiyama sitting next to Kaneki on the couch, Karren on his lap. Saiko wipes at her eyes as Shirazu and Juuzou whisper to each other.
"Well?" asks Tsukiyama.
"We're having a kid a month after you and Karren, Tsukiyama," Urie announces, lifting Tooru's hand.
"Godmother! Calling it!" Saiko shouts, leaping to her feet. She throws her arms around Tooru, squealing. Kaneki grins at Urie, giving him a thumbs-up.
I fucked up and no one hates me for it. Huh.
"This is so exciting," Juuzou proclaims, flexing his hands. "Your baby will be really interesting for Kimi to study."
Urie glares at him.
"Can I be godfather?" he asks. "Kaneki's Gramps, I presume."
"We'll see," says Urie, Tooru's hand still warm in his.
"No way!" cries Shirazu. "That's my job."
"I'll be there constantly for you, Tooru," Juuzou insists.
"Only if you can take us making out all the time," Urie retorts.
Juuzou shrugs. "Sure. I don't mind."
Urie freezes. That was not the response I anticipated.
"Well," Tooru says. "Technically I've done worse than that in public, so." His fingers grip Urie's chin, and he tilts Urie's face down to meet his lips. Urie opens his mouth.
"Nice," Karren comments.
"Going home," Kaneki says quickly.
Urie flips them off.
Up next: Karren and Tooru have sonograms... one of which contains a double surprise.