By: Sweet 16 Movie Buff!
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Hagrid watched her face, watched her eyes as they flashed with emotions and memories of the past. "Jilly . . ."
"You have to swear to me, Hagrid," she snapped from her memories, her eyes full of a hard purpose that took him aback. "You have to swear you won't tell a soul. Swear you won't tell anyone about tonight or me or Sirius. Not a soul. Not ANYONE. Please . . . promise me, Hagrid."
"O' course, Jilly. I promise."
"Thank you," she breathed, rolling her cup of tea in her hands. She still looked guilt stricken.
"Yeh know," Hagrid began slowly, "Yeh did a good thin' her' tonigh.'"
Jillian snorted her disbelief, "Yeah right."
"No, yeh did. Yeh gave Sirius her' ter clothes off yer own back. Yeh got him some place safe 'n taken care of."
"You're just saying that to make me feel better," she accused, swiping the back of her hand across her eyes.
I'm not gonna cry, she told herself fiercely. I'm not gonna cry. I don't cry.
Hagrid smiled, "Come her', Jilly."
Her lower lip firmly tucked between her teeth, Jillian obeyed. She flung her arms around Hagrid's massive neck and silently wept into his tangled bushy beard.
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"Jilly . . . Hey, Jilly wake up. Wake up . . ." Someone was patting her ankle.
"Miss Perfect, get you're butt up! You fell asleep at your homework again. Wake up . . . Jeez . . ."
"Be nice, Toby. This is the first time she's actually been in the same room as us for weeks. We should cherish it."
"Cherish it? Blimey, Carly, what world are you living in? She'll be late if we don't get her up."
"Toby NO!"
"CRUEL TO BE KIND, IN THE RIGHT MEASURE, CRUEL TO BE KIND, IT'S A VERY GOOD SIGN, CRUEL TO BE KIND MEANS THAT I LOVE YOU . . ."
"Bloody hell!"
With a jolt Jillian awoke, her arms flailing madly trying to untangle herself from the earphone cords. She fell to the dormitory floor with a thud and lay splayed, panting hard as she gazed up disconcertingly at the ceiling.
"TOBY!" Carly cried reproachfully and she snatched the Walkman away and stopped the blaring chorus of "Cruel to Be Kind." Carly's face hovered into Jillian's line of sight, her flaxen ringlets falling off her shoulders. "Are you all right, Jillian?"
"I'm fine," she mumbled, rising to a sitting position cautiously. Her head was pounding. She felt like it was made of air. "What day is it?"
"Friday."
"Merlin's beard!" she groaned and collapsed back onto the floor, curling into a small ball. "Let me go back to sleep!"
Carly and Toby glanced at one another. This was NOT the Jillian they knew. Jillian was not one to oversleep on a school day. Of course, she'd been acting oddly since the end of the Christmas holiday, about the same time she and Sirius had stopped talking to one another. She'd been quiet, skipping lunch just to avoid them, eating breakfast quickly and dashing off before Carly and Toby could even ask her anything.
Hesitantly Toby got to her knees and spoke softly, trying to calm her, "We heard about you and Sirius, about your row. I'm . . . I'm sorry, I wouldn't have mention our bet if I'd known things were so bad between you two. I'm sorry, Jillian."
When Jillian said nothing, Carly seated herself on the edge of Jillian's bed; "You can talk to us, Jilly. We're your friends, you can tell us what's bothering you. It'll stay between us. We won't tell a soul, will we Toby?"
"Oh, yeah, yeah. We won't tell a soul," she shook her head fiercely, her lips pursed in a comical frown. Carly lightly kicked her knee and mouthed 'Be serious.'
Jillian smiled thinly. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.
"For what, sweetie?" Carly asked.
"For being a stupid, moody bitch," Slowly Jillian sat again, grinning weakly at them. She straightened the strap of her muscle tank; she was still in her clothes from the night before.
"Yeah," Toby agreed, helping Jillian to her feet, "You did seem to be on a permanent PMS spell there for a while."
Carly frowned.
"What?" Toby asked, "It's true."
"Well, you didn't have to agree with her."
At this Jillian laughed, a good hard laugh that the crack certainly didn't deserve, but it just felt so good to hear them bicker. She hugged them around the shoulders; "I'm so glad to have you two back!"
"We're glad to have you back too, Jilly," Carly grinned.
"So what's the course of action?" Toby asked abruptly as Jillian dug in her trunk for a clean set of clothes.
"What course of action?" Jillian asked as she pulled a clean knit vest over her head.
"The one to pay Sirius back for what he did to you."
"TOBY!" Carly collapsed back onto Jillian's bed with a scream of exasperation.
"Did to me? What did he do to me?"
"Well, how I heard it . . . he . . . he made you his servant or something. Or assumed you were his servant or something. You know, the Muggle-born are the meek of the earth and purebloods rule the world deal."
Jillian snorted, "Wow."
"Was it something like that?"
"Sorta."
"So what are we gonna do?"
Jillian shrugged into her robes slowly, thinking. Then it came to her, "Can you get us into the Gryffindor common room after classes?"
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"Okay. I see it," Toby said in a dazed voice as they climbed the tower stairs to the boy's dormitory, "We'll spell his pants to run away from him. No, one better, his underwear . . ."
"That's just sick, Toby," Carly crinkled her nose in disdain at the very mention of it.
"Well . . . He's stupid, so it's okay."
"Which trunk is his?" Jillian asked desperately as they entered the dormitory.
"I think it's this one," Carly pointed to a trunk with gold letters stamped onto the front face of the lid. She shrugged, "Just a wild guess."
"Perfect!" Jillian sank to her knees and unlatched the trunk. Spell books, robes, scattered pictures and picture frames, wizarding books, magazines . . . How much did he pack? Jillian sorted these things aside and saw the tangle of Muggle clothes at the bottom of the trunk. She began shifting through them, tossing aside clothes that got in her way.
"Oh! We're gonna trash his dorm! I get it, a little childish, but says 'I hate your living guts' very well." Toby stood on her tiptoes, looking anxiously into his trunk. "Oh, he's got that Chudley Cannons book . . ."
"Toby," Carly said quietly.
"Yeah?"
"Cool it. I don't think we're here to trash his dorm."
"Are we laying his clothes out on the lawn in the letters 'I hate you' or 'git' or 'prat' or something?"
"Perfect." Jillian pulled out a gray sweatshirt that looked large enough and took off down the stairs. Carly and Toby raced after her as she bolted out of the common room and into the hall.
"Wait up! Jilly, where are you going?" Carly and Toby pounded after her.
"I've got to go to Hagrid's! I'll meet you back in the common room tonight!" she shouted over her shoulder as she disappeared down the flight of stairs.
Carly and Toby came to an abrupt halt at the top of the stairway as the stairs switched yet again and Jillian's sprinting form disappeared from sight.
"What's she been doing?" Toby panted, "I mean, I play Quidditch and I still can't run that fast."
Carly shook her head, "No idea."
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Jillian galloped across the lawn, past the lake and the students that had emptied out onto the grounds once more to enjoy the beautiful sunshine. She flew past the Forbidden Forest to Hagrid's lone hut and slammed against the door.
There was no warning barks or a rumble of Hagrid's voice. The hut was silent within. Jillian frowned, "Hagrid?"
No answer.
"Alohomora," she whispered, pointing her wand at the key whole. The latch clicked and the door creaked slowly as it opened. Silently she slipped into the hut, making sure no one had seen her.
"Hello."
"Bloody hell!" she jumped, snapping the door shut as she fell back. Propped up on his elbows was Sirius, a blanket thrown over him to keep him warm. A plate of rock cakes and a bowl of what appeared to be stew lay beside him uneaten.
"It's just me," Sirius said with a shy grin. "Nothing to be frightened of."
With a groan, he struggled to sit up, the blanket falling away to reveal his bare chest and the bandages swathing his side . . .
Jillian glanced down at her feet, finding them suddenly quite interesting. She had never realized how young he was. Those bandages . . . they looked out of place on his tawny, lanky frame meant for darker more distant times.
"I brought you something to eat," she explained, still not looking at him, "Who knows how you'd have survived on Hagrid's cooking."
He chuckled quietly, "Thanks."
She came and sat down at his side on the pallet, determinedly not looking to meet his eyes. "I brought you something to wear too. I thought it might have gotten kind of chilly without a shirt and - "
"Jillian," he said at last. "Just say it."
For a while neither spoke as she plucked absently at the blanket. Her fingers trailed over the fabric, stopping every so often to play with a stray thread. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."
"What? This?" he motioned to the bandages and Jillian winced. He lifted her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his. Softly he said, "This isn't you're fault. Jillian, this isn't your fault. I take this risk every month, you shouldn't feel the need to blame yourself for last night."
After a long moment, she nodded mutely. "How are you feeling?"
"Like someone pounded me in the ribs with a boulder," he admitted with a short laugh. Jillian bit her lower lip and he quickly amended, "It's just a joke."
"Well it bloody hell wasn't funny."
"You're right. It wasn't funny. I'm sorry." After a long pause he asked, "What else do you want to know?"
"You're an animagus?"
He shot her a reproving look and Jillian blushed, "Stupid question, sorry. For how long then?"
"Last year."
"How . . . how did you - " His eyes were mesmerizing her; she was finding it hard to concentrate on the words when he stared at her like that.
His lips met hers and caressed them, softly at first than more certain the second time. His hand slid under her jaw, drawing her face towards his, gently pulling her in. He cradled her lower lip, the one she worried so often, in his own lips. She relented under his touch, melting as he kissed her.
Then he pulled away, his lips abandoning hers, leaving them hungry and aching for more. His breath rustled her cheek and she opened her eyes. He looked almost as dazed as she felt; his eyes half open as he watched his thumb running along her cheek.
"Jillian . . ."
She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him again, passionately this time, hungrier than before. His hand held her face and the two of them fell slowly to the pallet. They kissed for the longest time, simply content to let their lips embrace.
When they parted again to breathe, Jillian could feel her mind, the logical part of her, slowly coming out of its euphoria.
"Did you . . ?"
He smiled, his hand still cradling her jaw, "Yeah."
"Did I . . ?"
He nodded.
"But you said you didn't fancy me."
"Jillian?" he whispered.
"Yes?"
"Shut up." And he pulled her down to lay beside him on the pallet to kiss her again.
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SIDE NOTES . . .
First off, I hope that this answers that big question everyone mentioned once or twice in their reviews (all of which were appreciated)!
Second, to justify Toby's music ('Cruel to Be Kind' by Letters to Cleo) . . . Letters to Cleo first got their start in the 70's. At what time in the 70's I don't know, but I love that band (one of my best friends introduced me to them) and I couldn't find any Raincoats lyrics, so . . . wa-la.
The end bit doesn't mean that Jillian and Sirius shag, so hopefully that clears away doubts in any dirty minds :P
The bet and other references to it will be explained in the next chapter, the last flashback of the story. Oh this is ending all so fast . . .
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JUST MAYBE . . .
I'm considering writing a sequel to In Memory of Sirius Black, but I can't guarantee anything. I'll see if I can get into the swing of it and I'll let you know.
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TO ALL OF MY WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL REVIEWERS AND READERS!Moon Burst – Aw . . . ::tear:: I still have my hopes that Sirius comes back. Oh, and don't think for one second that I think you're an airhead because your writing style says something far different. Plus multi-tasking is a sign of intelligence so you're saved! I'm the same though, I'm really, really blonde sometimes but its fleeting moments, mind you. Hope you liked this chapter!
Whimsical Firefly – No, I'm not Aussie, sadly. Wouldn't it be bloody wicked though to have an Aussie accent or a British one? But I'm an American with a queer taste in vocabulary (instead of 'awesome' I say 'wicked', and instead of 'damn' it's 'bloody forking hell', and etc.), so nothing real special.
Moonlight1111 – Thanks so much for reading. I hoped you liked it.
Juniper87 – Glad you liked it. BTW your Ravenclaw story definitely deserves more reviews than it has, I hope you'll continue it for my sake : )
EVILMWHAA HA HA HA HAA – Thanks for your time and your review!
Wheres-the-rum-gone?-2004 – I love POTC! If you like pirates and like to read may I recommend two absolute kick ass books? Pirates! by Celia Rees is particularly good except that Nancy's character is a little too stagnant for my liking. The second one is Confessions of Charlotte Doile by Avi; all action and no romance, my kind of book!
BubleBubleBuble – I totally agree with the direction your fic is taking. Nick and Sarah should have definitely gotten together during the course of the series, but no, the show had to fire them! Anyway, I mean, and maybe you could explain this to me, what is it with Grissom and Sarah? What happened in the earlier shows that I missed?
Since you've met Toby now, maybe you can understand why Jillian is a regular at Connections. Maybe? Well, explanation two is that fact that some people are different at school than they are at home. Hopefully that clears that up for you!
WargishBoromirFan – I'm so glad you dropped in! I'm back, alive and kicking and ready to write some more despite amounts of reviews. I've returned with a new approach so eventually I'll have that LOTR fic up so you can finish it, if you want of course. I hoped you liked my first Harry Potter fic. I'm just tickled pink you read it!
Ristine – Thanks for staying with me!