Warning:
Horror. Blood gore. Swearing. Crossover. AU.
Humour. Multiple deaths. Supernatural. Stupidity.
Random-ness. Insane/sadistic/smart/demonic Naruto.
I don`t own Naruto…or the Joker, but I do own the plot.
~Thinking. ~ 'Speaking.' 'Demons speaking.'
'Dolls speaking.'
This entire fic was inspired by my little brother and reading a few Rozen Maiden mangas. ^_\)
Will remain T-rated until I feel like it.
This chapter was spurred on when I found my little brother`s Build-a-bear teddy…which was in a Batman costume…and I imagined Sasuke in Harley Quinn`s outfit…needless to say I was in hysterics for the entire day! XD
Chapter 9
Quit stalling!
Kakashi cleared his throat, snapping everybody out of their thoughts, before motioning to the door to Sasuke.
'Fine…I`ll…um, go.' The raven teen muttered, and then followed his team-mates` example. He found their room easily and knocked sharply on the door. Sai opened the door.
'Does Kakashi-sensei want us downstairs?' he asked, Sasuke shook his head. Smiling, Sai let him in and shut the door quietly.
'Kakashi-sensei sent me up for some reason, he literally just pointed at the stairs…' Sasuke told them, sitting on a futon. Ivy walked over to him and handed over a picture. Sasuke felt his face heat up, swiftly folding the picture and flung it as if it had a disease. Naruto caught it and looked at the picture, then at Sasuke`s red face and back again, then he laughed. (1)
'So cute…kehaha! We should make this, innit Sai?' Sai looked up and nodded absently, still flipping through a note-book.
'Who`s gonna be the newbie?' Joker asked, Naruto sat up and grinned toothily, causing the dolls to grin too.
'Scare-crow…and when we get back, Harley.' The doll-maker stated, making the dolls cheer happily. Sai smiled and picked up his skater bag. (Sai`s was a black and white stripes running across it, like a zebra…Naruto`s was black and orange chequered design, and it had a lot of badges.) Pulled out a sealing scroll and went back to his spot after throwing Naruto`s.
'Thanks! Now where`s that scroll…' he muttered after catching his bag and now rifling through it. And after a few minutes of searching, he pulled out a huge scroll and was just about to unroll it, and then there was a knock on the door.
'It`s Kakashi-sensei, let me in!' a muffled voice called, Deadpool ran to the door and managed to open it, Kakashi walked in, noticed the doll still hanging from the handle and pulled him off of the door-knob and handed him to Sai. (2)
'Naruto? Can you please not summon anymore dolls?' Kakashi asked the blonde, who shrugged in reply and finished sewing the ragged doll, Sai handed him a scroll. Kakashi sighed at being ignored and attempted to talk to Sasuke who was staring at some picture that he refused to show, he looked a little pink.
'Must you all ignore me?' queue more ignoring. With another sigh, Kakashi walked out and shut the door with a snap.
'Ball-sack! I forgot to bring the right fabric…' Naruto cursed, re-sealing the materials. Sasuke scrunched up the picture and threw it at Naruto`s head, before flopping ungracefully on his futon.
'So that plan will have to wait…who else can we make?' Sai suggested as Naruto carefully unfolded the picture, a grin forming on his face. He then unsealed the materials and pulled out a needle and thread, Sai sat next to him and passed him the sewing box. Joker sat up at seeing a flash of red and black, he and Ivy smiled happily as Deadpool shrugged and curled up on Sai`s pillow, he pulled a device from his pocket and began playing "When I Am Queen by Jack Off Jill".
A few hours later…
Naruto sealed the newly made away and smiled after stating that he needed a human sacrifice in exchange for the soul that will occupy the doll`s body, Sai put away his paints and put the doll weapons in the corner to dry.
'We need to get some sleep in case Kakashi-sensei springs us with training.' He stated and then began to change into a black vest and shorts, Naruto pulled on a pair of dark orange pyjama pants and Sasuke wore a white vest and blue pants. Sai pulled Deadpool off his pillow and put him on the end of his futon, Ivy created a huge rose and curled up in it, Joker laid at the foot of Naruto`s futon.
The next day…
Kakashi ran a hand through silver locks, it seemed that Naruto and Sai already know how to tree-climb and water-walking, so he`d spent the past few hours teaching Sasuke. And to be honest, that child was infuriating! He spent ages picking apart every single thing, and spoke about Naruto in the way some fan-girl would…it would be alright, but considering the way Naruto is…he would be classed…no, is a sociopath! And as soon as this mission is over, he is so taking him to Inochi Yamanka for a mental evaluation! (3)
And don`t get him started on those creepy-as-hell dolls that literally got a life and now the blonde is holed up somewhere making another doll right now!
'Sasuke-kun? Where is our resident doll-maker and his paint-box?' Kakashi sniped, Sasuke ignored the jab and shrugged in reply, and continued to practice his throwing skills.
'Like they would tell me…' he said, walking off to gather his kunai and shuriken, there was a few stray blades here and there.
Somewhere else…
'Sorry to interrupt, but have you seen a clown doll?' Sai asked the figure kneeling in the grass. The person looked up, Sai blinked and stared a little: a lavender and pale pink kimono, long brown hair and huge chocolate eyes that you could get lost in, and to top it off a basket full of plants. (4)
'No…sorry, ah, you are a shinobi, yes?' the other person asked.
'Uhm…yes. Uhh…sorry, but are you a faerie…or an elven princess? Because you are really pretty…sorry..' Sai rambled, making the stranger laugh a little.
'No…sorry, my name is Haku…and I`m collecting herbs for a friend…really should not have ditched that class and now I`m struggling.' Haku mumbled the last part, much to Sai`s amusement. The artist glanced around and knelt down next to Haku and offered to help.
'Thank-you…I need these plants.' Haku smiled and pointed out, Sai carefully pulled them out. After a while, Haku stood up.
'I need to be going…thank-you for the help shinobi-san.' The slightly older teen bowed and began to walk out of the clearing.
'Oh, by the way…I`m a boy.' He said turning around and smiled, only to blush heavily when Sai replied with a wolf-whistle and a sudden hug and grope.
'Even better.' He whispered, before running off, leaving a stunned Haku behind…Sai giggled at Haku`s reaction and stopped outside Tanzuna`s house, and casually walked in. (5)
Somewhere else…
'I have the medicine Zabuza-sama.' Haku smiled at his mentor, Zabuza lowered his book and grunted in reply. The lithe boy sighed softly and began to make the concoction to fix Zabuza up and attempted to keep the name-less shinobi`s actions out of his head and to keep those naughty thoughts at bay. (6)
Back at the client`s house…
'Sai…where did you mooch off to?' Naruto asked, Sai merely tapped the side of his nose and accepted a white rose from Ivy.
'Where`s Kakashi-sensei?'
'Thank-you Ivy, he`s training Sasuke…shall we go spar?
'Meh, might as well…Joker, Deadpool, Ivy, I trust that you will guard the client and his family?' Naruto asked, looking at the 3 dolls that saluted at him and went off with Sai to train, leaving the trio to guard the house.
'Sasuke-kun? Have you got that technique down yet?' Kakashi asked, peering over his porn, the boy in question waved from his perch high up in the trees and leapt down to Kakashi`s branch and ignored the scolding he got. ('You idiot! What the hell was you thinking? Wait, you WASN`T!') (7)
'Kakashi-sensei, if I knew you would overreact like this, I wouldn`t have left the bloody tree.' Sasuke dead-panned, walking past his still-spazzing teacher and popped some chewing gum in his mouth. (Ivy gave him some petals to chew on and they was surprisingly tasty) giving the look of an obnoxious emo teen. Kakashi felt like slapping the kid.
'What? It`s true.' Sasuke stated, popping a pink bubble, and promptly ducked, as a scroll nearly became best friends with his face. He blinked as the silver-haired jounin stormed off, a:
'You better learn these or else!' thrown over the shoulder, Sasuke opened the scroll only to find at least 20 C to B-rank justu, he will deny ever making a squeal of joy at the amount. ~I better get to work! If I ever want to be on par with Sai and Naruto! ~ He thought with a determined look in his eyes.
Somewhere else…
'Dude! Why the fuck, did you sic a load of fucking hell-hounds on me? What did I do to piss you off so badly, and you better fuckin teach me it too!' Sai yelled at the blonde at the other side of the clearing, which was burned, soaked, splattered with ink, have random bones complete with micro-craters. Naruto and Sai were a little better off: they were only singed, a bit wet and little bloody cuts, nothing remotely serious.
'Sorry! I`ll teach you Oni-Inu-no-justu for payment!' Naruto yelled back, grabbing their bags and running towards Sai. He pulled out a scroll and sat down with the ravenette (8) they started flicking through it, with Marilyn Manson`s "Disposable Teens" playing full blast. After a while, they packed their things and continued to study some scrolls and a book or 2.
A few hours later…
Sasuke stumbled into their clearing and collapsed a foot from Naruto, who pulled him closer to his person and poked him.
'You okay down there?' Naruto asked, Sai put down his scroll and began checking if Sasuke was alive or not.
'Chakra exhaustion, we should be getting back, I feel like I could black out…' Sai said, before just doing that, luckily he was sat down when he conked out. Naruto did a familiar hand-seal and 2 clones popped into existence, he sent his team-mates back to the house, whilst he picked up stray weapons.
-T.B.C-
Tobi: sorry it was soooo late! *Dives behind a wall to avoid flying projectiles* I fucked up in college and now I`ve been trying to fix the mess I made without getting thrown out in the process, and talked myself out of suicide, stayed at a friend`s house and laughed at the mould growing on his carpet, got in trouble, tried not to consider overdosing, been stuck in a room with a bunch of people whose ego is so damn big you could fucking choke on it, nearly killed them! Got ill and only just recovered! Fucking hell…my life is 1 big shit-tip…so…how was your day?
(1) The mental image I saw!
(2) I was watching "Toy Story" and had a brain-wave.
(3) I can imagine Kakashi thinking that!
(4) Sorry, I kind of made Sai a bit bold…well, he IS Naruto`s best friend…
(5) HAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! XD
(6) A bit of Sai/Haku going on there…I have no idea what to do with this…
(7) Kakashi`s mother-hen moment. If this goes out good, I could do more, or some outtakes or summat like that.
(8) Is that even a word? What is this, I don`t even…